1. Remy at the beginning

When dad moved out of the house I didn't know what to expect. We were a happy family with a nice house. I did well in school, we went on vacations and I seldom see mom and dad fight. We appeared normal, boring even. So when mom told me that dad had another family with children, I was dumbfounded. I felt so betrayed, but she didn't stop there. Turns out, she and I were the reason why dad had another family. The fucker wanted children and mom couldn't give him.

"But...you have me," I said genuinely confused, but then... Oh, fuck...

"Remy, we adopted you since you were a baby. I thought it'll solve our problem. But a year ago I found out the truth."

I was adopted. Yes, it was a hell of a way to break the news to a hormonal teenager.

"It's been a year?" I squeaked, my heart was beating too fucking hard I almost didn't catch what she said next.

One single word. "Yes." She said it coldly, there was no hug, no tears, no emotion shown on her face. She had known about it for one whole year and still managed to greet dad and cook for dad like nothing happened. Fuck, it was so fucking messed up.

All of that happened while I was in high school. So the second I was able to, I was determined to get out of the house by enrolling in the furthest college. I left mom with her new boyfriend, yep, another shocker. She had an affair knowing dad had another family, seemed that everyone had one foot out of the door, but me. So, what I did next was something that I needed to do out of spite. I left for college and never looked back.

Since the split fiasco, money was tight, mom and dad had little to spare for their adopted son since they have another family and another life. I hated that I still needed them for money, so I said nothing but take any amount they were giving me.

Though I got into college on a scholarship I still have accommodation, books, and meals to think about. I ate instant ramen on most days except when I had my shift at the gay club, which was three times a week back then. Yep, I took bartending as a way to keep myself afloat during my college days. Oh, and I'm gay which surprisingly put more gap between me and my adoptive parents' relationship.

After I finished my art degree, I still worked at the club since there was not much work out there, when my true passion was jewelry making. At least I'd upgraded to working full-time at the gay club. So in my downtime, I sketched a lot in my shitty apartment and kept on working on my designs.

Aside from having to flaunt my bare chest behind the bar and flirt with customers, the tips at the gay club, Zephyr, were way better than the regular club. Also, the cook took pity on me and let me eat whatever he had left that was going to go bad the next day.

The gay club owner, Jed, had his rotation of boyfriends. So, when after years of working at Zephyr his eyes finally landed on me, I was flattered. I know I was good-looking and had a good body, but I was a virgin though it seemed that the fact had made him want me more.

"I can't keep my eyes away from you, that harness and the leather pants look too good on you." One night Jed praised me as I was about to change into my normal clothes to go home to my crappy apartment.

"Thank you." I blushed at his words. Jed was older, he was in his late forties while I was in the ripe age of my early twenties. Yep, a virgin at twenty-two, working in a gay club. It was not that I was holding on to my virginity, but I had been too busy with my studies and saving money for my art supplies.

So when an older man as established as Jed took interest in me I was ready to sink to my knees and let him have his way with me. Don't get me wrong, I might be a virgin but I was a pro at sucking cocks and restroom handjobs since those were the only activities I had time for.

Then when it was time for Jed to take me on dates, I kept my act and managed not to put out until he took me to our third date.

"Why don't you come and pack your stuff for a couple of days and stay at mine," it was a blatant invitation for a fuck, not to move in and I was humble enough to recognize that, and so I did.

"Okay," I shuddered under his touches. Jed was known to be a bit rough, it was behind the club gossip where his exes talked about how the man would fucked them to the bed and leave love bites and bruises in the morning.

The future of losing my virginity and being taken care of by an older man was too exciting for me that I missed all the red flags. And Jed had been sweet with me for the last couple of dates. By the end of the day, I just wanted to be in someone's arms, then maybe someday I'd be truly loved. Yeah, someday for sure. Being adopted made me realize that I was unwanted and unloved the second I was born, then my adoptive parents put the last nails in my coffin, securing the dark thoughts in my head.

"Oh Remy, tell me is it true that you're still a virgin?" There, Jed finally asked after our third date while he was stripping me naked in his bedroom.

"I am," I smiled shyly, feeling too goddamn nervous cause I wanted me and Jed to last, hopefully for a couple of months. Because I know it won't be forever, not for people like me. I liked his apartment, and I wanted to stay there longer than a month. Yep, it was no secret that Jed likes to keep his boyfriend within reach and I was having no problem with that as long as I could get out of the blistering cold of my tiny apartment which had no proper heating.

"Fuck, gorgeous and willing. Why don't you kneel for me and let me shove my cock through that pink lips of yours."

And so I did, I opened my mouth and let him in while I relaxed my throat. The older man groaned and thrusts in and out. It didn't take long until I was on all four and he took my virginity. He was gentle for the first part as if he was cherishing my virginity until I slipped out a moan and the man goes wild.

I was sore two hours later while he cuddled me when all I wanted to do was to take a shower. Somehow the fucking didn't seem as wonderful as the ones in romance novels and the dried cum itches. But I didn't move out of the bed cause I wanted to please the man, letting him hold me and pressing his sweaty chest on my back until he finally snored. I gently pushed away from him and quietly went to the bathroom to clean myself.

The next couple of months fly by easily, I was fucked, sheltered, and fed, all while trying to find a proper job suitable for my art degree.

"I know not to get my hopes up," I told my bestie and fellow cocksucker from Zephyr, Marx.

"Yeah, your ex-virgin ass is not going to entertain him much longer. The man builds Zephyr for his personal enjoyment. But tell me, are you sure you're okay?"

I was not, but I didn't tell him. Instead, I hid my duffle bag under the counter and start preparing drinks for Marx's table. The chirpy twink grinned and took his table's order in seconds.

When no one was looking I wiped my tears and took a deep breath before I plastered a fake smile on my face. Being subtly pushed out of Jed's apartment was a low blow, I thought we were going somewhere. I did last more than three months with him, which was a couple of months more than many of his conquests at Zephyr. 

I know so because they talked.