2- Am I Still Me

I feel so weak… the beeps make my head hurt, the smell of cleaning products burns my nose.

I try to open my eyes and the light blinds me and makes my eyes hurt

"Where am I? What kind of place is this?" are questions that come and go in my mind as I try to fully regain my senses.

After getting used to the light, I look around and realize I'm in some kind of hospital room.

This makes me even more confused.

Wait? I'm sure that big guy who took me from my aunt and uncle's house said I wouldn't survive, so he shouldn't have taken me to a hospital, right?

Did they take any organ or part of my body from me?

As I wonder, I feel my abdomen and investigate my limbs, noticing that I don't feel any large scars on my skin and realizing that all of my limbs are here.

However, when I feel my face, I see that thick bands surround my face.

My heart stops beating for a few moments. The thought that they could have worsened my scars, leaving me even more disfigured makes me panic.

I start tearing out those tracks, desperate. This reminds me of the past, when I discovered after the fire how much my face would be scarred forever.

"I can't go through this again, I can't!"

The last strips fall to the floor and I touch my face, still desperate, but, to my surprise, I don't feel any relief from the scars.

My skin is smooth and soft...

"Like this?"

I don't know what to think, I don't know what's going on.

I see a metal tray next to my bed and without hesitation I pick it up, knocking over all the medicines that were on top.

I look at my reflection and lose my breath... I'm perplexed and I don't know what to think. In the reflection of the tray there is a woman, equally perplexed, looking back at me. Her face is perfect, without any trace of the woman I used to see when I looked in the mirror.

Now I'm even more confused.

Is it possible? Is it possible to give a new face to a person who has been disfigured by scars for a long time?

Is it still me? Did I die and my soul was transported to this body, like in fiction?

But my hair is still red and my eyes are still the same color. Just my face that... doesn't look anything like the face I should have without the scars...

I was an ordinary girl, but now… this face… This face looks like someone who has an extraordinary appearance.

I throw the tray on the floor and take a deep, frustrated breath.

Damn, all I've had so far are questions and I have no idea who to ask.

I get up with difficulty, I realize that my legs are very weak.

Maybe it's because I haven't eaten almost anything recently.

As I think about this, I place my hand on my stomach, realizing that the discomfort of stomach acids eating away at my insides is no longer here.

I shake my head in the negative, thinking that the more I think, the more questions arise and now I must look for answers here.

Well, I'm in a hospital room, there must be someone nearby... but what types of people will I meet?

Damn it! More questions.

I take a deep breath and try to think calmly, what I should do now is… get out of here. And that! I won't give them time to catch me again. Now I have a new face and I don't have to worry about what people will say or think when they look at me.

I will never hear insults again and I will never be compared to a monster again.

Ignoring my weakness, I leave the room. I walk down the corridor of this hospital and it seems like there is no one here.

It gives me a strange feeling that at any moment someone is going to come and get me.

However, until I got to the elevator, there was no one in that place.

I press the button on the panel and in no time I'm on the first floor.

I walk cautiously, looking around until I find a room with several closets.

I breathe a sigh of relief to be in a locker room. I couldn't go around wearing a nightgown and with my ass exposed.

Well, if I had to, I'd even go out naked, but since I have the opportunity to borrow some clothes, I'll take advantage.

I put on something that looks like a nurse's uniform and I don't waste any more time in that place. It's strange that a hospital is empty, but I'm not going to ask myself any more questions because I'm already going crazy.

I investigate the doors until… My God! I even feel like crying. I found the way out and now I know I am truly free.

I go out and look at the facade where I was. It strangely looked like an ordinary office building where the entrance was in an alley between other buildings. There is no sign identifying it and if I hadn't left there, I would never have imagined that it was a hospital.

I walk looking around, trying to identify my surroundings. The number of people passing back and forth gradually increases and suddenly I look up and lose my breath.

I spin on my heels impressed.

Oh my God, I'm in Times Square! Oh my God, I'm in New York!

I remember that I always wanted to visit this city, because my mother once lived here. But she didn't like this place and made me promise that I would never set foot here in my life.

She told me that living in the country was much better, because it wasn't so dangerous, she said that New York was a dangerous city, full of mobsters.

Regardless of what she said, I always dreamed of visiting this place and breaking the promise I made.

I walk through the streets, enjoying every detail. The street food stalls, the huge buildings, the bright signs, even taking advantage of the people who pass by, bumping into me, ignoring my presence.

Oh my God, the yellow taxis! It feels like I'm a child again, in awe of this place.

I sit on a bench, still looking at everything and suddenly I feel something pointy and sharp touching my ribs.

"The money. Pass the money."

I look to the side and only now did I realize that there was a man with a hood covering his head sitting next to me, pressing a pocket knife against me.

I take a deep breath, keeping myself cool. For all these years I have dealt with death threats from my aunt and Pearl, so I am not shaken.

"I have nothing, sir. Go on your way, you're wasting your time here."

I say without making sudden movements.

"Don't waste my time, girl. I won't hesitate to drill you to death."

"I'm telling the truth, Sir. If you stab me it will be a waste of time, when you examine my body you won't find anything."

"I'm serious, bitch! Pass the money now."

I let out a groan, feeling the tip of the knife begin to enter my flesh and blood begin to flow.

I take a deep breath, still trying to stay calm, and say, "Okay, I'm going to check my pockets and see if I can find anything."

I slowly put my hands in my pockets and examine them with my fingertips. I touch something and take a deep breath, saying, "There's nothing in my pockets, sir."

"I'm going to ask for the last time, next time I'm going to kill you, bitch!"

I didn't think twice, the next moment I stuck the pen I found in the guy's jugular.

I get up, scared and look at him who was trying to stop the blood that was gushing out without stopping with his hands.

I start to shake. It was a lot of blood. Should I ask for help? No, I… I must run away.

I turn and run without looking back.

"Shit, I just killed a man!"

In fact he wasn't dead, but if he dies...

I need to get away from here as quickly as possible, no one will arrest me anymore, not even the police.

I run into random streets and only stop when my legs protest and I can no longer breathe.

If my body was stronger, I'm sure I could run more.

I still feel scared and see a bright sign on the other side of the street, indicating that it was a bar.

I don't think twice about going in. If they're looking for me, I think I can hide in this place.

I go in and it looks like a stripper club. There were half-naked girls dancing on the poles, a lot of drinking and people passing in different directions all the time, hitting on me.

A little dizzy with all that information, I hit a waiter and he drops the drinks, but just as he was about to curse me, he stops and looks at me, amazed.

"What the hell! Is that really you?"

"Me? You must be confusing me with someone…"

As soon as I say it, I realize that the people around me are looking at me in amazement too, as if I were the devil himself walking the earth.

I walk and they make way, avoiding touching me, as if I had some kind of disease.

“What the hell is going on?” I think.

Even the dancers stop dancing to look at me.

Well, I think I'm going to have to get out of here. Everyone is looking at me and if the police look for me, they will probably recognize me.

I turn around and suddenly I hit someone again, it was a man who, smiling, said, "It seems like you're well known around here, huh, nurse?"

"Get out of my way!" I say and push him away.

"Hey, what's the hurry! It looks like you're running from the police!"

Paralyzed in my place, does he know?

"Are you really?", he asks, looking at me suspiciously. And I swallow hard, reaching for the pen that was still in my pocket.

"And what's your problem with that? You shouldn't mess with dangerous people.", I say facing him.

"I don't have any problems, everyone here has sins, kitten. This is not a place the police dare to enter."

I breathe a sigh of relief, if what he said is true, I'll stay here until dawn.

"Are you going to stand there or are you going to let me buy you a drink?"

"A drink?" At that moment I realized how dry my mouth was and how hungry I was starting to appear.

"Okay, I'll take a drink."

"Right.", he smiles smugly and I follow him. "What do you want to drink, redhead?"

"Something sweet, with lots of whipped cream and no alcohol."

Oh, how I miss tasting something sweet. My mouth starts to water.

"No alcohol? I don't think there will be anything like that around here."

"Ask, not all people drink alcohol."

"Okay. Hey man, do you have non-alcoholic drinks here?"

The bartender looks at the man looking like he would kill him.

"It's not for me, man! It's for my friend here."

The coward points at me. Son of a bitch!

The bartender, upon seeing me, instead of looking at me with his murderous gaze, changes his expression instantly... I roll my eyes, imagining that he is just another person who thinks he knows me.

"Hmm… well, how do you prefer your drink?", he asks me in a completely different posture than before.

"Something sweet…", I say suspiciously, "I want something sweet, with lots of whipped cream. You can use milk instead of alcohol."

The bartender comes out and the man looks at me in awe, saying, "Wow! What can't a pretty face do? Why don't you want to drink alcohol, sweetie? I'm sure you'll feel more comfortable."

"Look, I turned eighteen yesterday, it's illegal to offer drinks to anyone under 21."

He smirks and says, "Really?, do you have a birthday on Independence Day?"

"No man! You're confusing the holidays, I do it on the first of January. They're different types of fireworks."

"Well, but yesterday was the Fourth of July and not the First of January, sweetie."

"Fourth of July? Are you serious?"

He nods and I'm stunned. What do you mean, I'm sure yesterday was the first of January and... did I stay in that hospital for six months?

"Give me your cell phone!", I say and push him against the counter and start feeling his pockets, while he doesn't react.

“Are you some kind of trickster?!”, he asks and I ignore him.

I look at the date on his cell phone and have confirmation. I stayed in that hospital longer than I imagined.

I pick up my drink and down it all at once and wipe the whipped cream from my mouth with the back of my hands.

When I look up, I notice a strange movement in front of me. Unlike when they saw me, people were making way, now they were running to the exit. The music stops and I only see golden and fierce eyes emerging from the darkness.

He approached, untamed, whoever got in front of him was immediately punched and pushed.

Those eyes hypnotized me, I've never seen eyes so golden and so intense.

The silhouette of a man is forming. He wore a white shirt with the top few buttons open, leaving a glimpse of his pectoral muscle.

His hair was light brown and strands fell lazily across his forehead. He wore a beard and his expressions were strong and intimidating.

My mental danger alarm started to sound, telling me it was time to run away, but instead of moving away, I took two steps towards him.

It was a strange feeling, as if I were being drawn into danger.

He's giving me a murderous look and I think I should really run, but all I can do is move my lips and ask, "Who is he?"

"Holy shit! Who did you mess with for the king of the mafia to come and get you?"

Before my stranger/acquaintance could escape, his body was on the floor, unconscious. I didn't even look at who or how they did it, I was stuck in those golden eyes, my feet moved instinctively and I took another step forward. I think that in addition to hypnotizing me, he was attracting me with his gravity. Just as a devastating star attracts everything that gets too close.

The man stands right in front of me. His body covers me completely. His face distorts with hatred and he says, "Susan, you damn thing! You won't escape this time."

"Sus…", before I finish speaking I am surprised by his huge hand wrapping around my neck.

Apparently I got too close to the sun and now it's too late to run away.

He squeezes my neck and I can't breathe, I try to hit him and he won't let me go.

He lifts me by the neck, while I move my feet and only grunts come out of my mouth.

He lifts me until our faces are at the same height, making me meet his murderous gaze.

Gradually those golden eyes darken and I gradually lose consciousness until I am embraced by darkness.