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Kabanata 37
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2022-01-22 17:14:54“Wala tayong lunch, Brent,” I said when we rode the elevator. Tatlo lang naman kami na sakay sa loob, kaya kaya kong kausapin ng casual si Brent.
“It’s okay. We’ll just eat out.”
“Sama ako,” Grey chimed in. Umangat ang kilay ko samantalang laglag panga naman si Brent. Dahil hindi kaagad nakasagot ang isa ay ako na ang nagsalita.
“Sure.”
“Bakit ka sasama? Diba may meal plan ka? I remembered asking you to join me for lunch pero sabi mo ay may meal subscription ka!”
“Ayoko na ng foods ‘don.”
“Bakit ngayon ka pa umayaw? Ha?”
Kumunot ang noo ko sa dalawa. Bakit ba sila nagtatalo? Para lunch lang. Maiintindihan ko pa nga kung natalo sila sa mobile game, pero ang lunch ay napakababaw na. The two only stopped bickering when they separated.
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The Moment I Knew Kabanata 38
“I’m sorry, Grey. Go after Steffi. Si Brent ang kasabay ko,” sagot ko sa maliit na boses. Nakita ko ang pagkadismaya ni Grey.Mabibigat ang hakbang naman ang ginawa ko palayo sa kaniya. Tahimik lang ako buong biyahe, at hindi rin naman ako nagawang kibuin ni Brent.What I did back there keeps on haunting me. Ang malungkot na mukha ni Grey ang paulit-ulit kong naaalala. But whatever it is that’s hunting me, I know I did the right thing. I know I shouldn’t come in between him and Steffi. Kung ano man ang meron kami ni Grey, iyon ay ang pagkakaibigan na hindi ko natanggap dati.Mukhang mas okay naman na magkaibigan na lang kami. We keep on hurting each other back then.Noong lunch naman sa Office noong sumunod na araw ay naabutan ko na naman ang dalawa na nagtatalo.“Akin na ‘yan! Ginawa ‘yan para sa ‘kin!” Brent said, soun
Last Updated : 2022-01-23The Moment I Knew Kabanata 39
After talking to Steffi, I walked alone, not really knowing where to go. What she said keeps on bothering me. Nagpaalam naman siya kaagad kanina, mukhang nahiya dahil hindi niya napigilan ang maiyak. I wanted to comfort her a bit kaya lang ay nagdalawang isip ako, at sa huli ay natahimik na lang sa harap niya.Dahil sa nangyari kanina, nawala rin sa isip ko na puwede na pala akong pumara dito ng taxi. I walked without thinking straight along the streets noong may marahan na humila sa braso ko.“Peyn! Kanina pa kita sinisigawan! Bakit ka mag-isang naglalakad?” Brent worriedly asked, bahagya pa na hinihingal.“Ha? Hindi kita naririnig. Anong ginagawa mo dito? Paano mo ako nakita?”“I was about to go home when I see you walking alone. I stopped my car somewhere and ran after you. Isasabay na kita. Sorry, may meetings ako kanina kaya hindi ako kaagad kita naihatid. Buti naab
Last Updated : 2022-01-24The Moment I Knew Kabanata 40
Grey and I spent the night together the next day. Doon ako natulog sa unit niya at sumabay din sa pagpasok niya. We walked along the basement parking, holding each other’s hands.Sabay din kami na nag-lunch, hindi nakasabay si Brent dahil daw sa meetings niya. Noong uwian naman ay hindi niya rin ako nasabayan dahil sobrang busy niya daw. Halos isang buong linggo ko na hindi nakasama si Brent.Noong mga unang araw, tanggap ko na abala lang siya. Kaya lang ay noong umabot na nang isang linggo ay nagduda na ako. I sometimes look for him in his Office at naabutan ko naman siya na tulog minsan o di kaya ay pinaglalaruan lang ang ballpen niya. I didn’t confront him though. Hindi ako tuluyang pumapasok sa opisina niya at mabuti na rin na mukhang malalim ang iniisip niya kaya hindi niya ako namamalayan.Monday morning noong hindi ko na napigilan at pinuntahan ko na siya para harapin. Good thing, Grey had to attend an
Last Updated : 2022-01-26The Moment I Knew Kabanata 41
“Do you think we’ll still be together in our 30’s Grey? Or 40’s? 50’s?” I shifted on the bed and looked him straight into his eyes.“I don’t know.”Sinimangutan ko siya sa sagot niya at lalo pa na dumikit sa kaniya. I hugged him and pouted.“Are you telling me na hindi ka seryoso sa akin? You don’t see yourself marrying me, ano? Kaya rin ba pinagde-depo shot mo ako para hindi ako mabuntis?” I accused him and the brute just laughed at me.“Sure ka ba na hindi ka magsasawa sa akin? Baka ikaw pa ang umalis, Peyn, kapag dumating na iyong sinasabi mong 30’s.”“What? Do you think I’ll get tired of this? Of you?”Grey didn’t answer me so I quickly took that as a yes. Pinitik ko nang mahina ang matangos niyang ilong pagkatapos ay pinagdikit ang makapal ni
Last Updated : 2022-01-27The Moment I Knew Kabanata 42
I cried hard that night to a point where I had to leave my unit. I can't face Grey. I can't let him watch me cry because I know that's the least thing he could handle, he got a lot on his plate right now.I wanted to show him we could handle everything and that we could surpass this... pero paano? Gayong ako mismo ay hindi alam kung kaya ba namin... kung kaya ko ba? I don't think I can handle seeing him in so much pain. I don't think I have the strength to face him and tell him that this is all gonna be okay.This is far from okay.Of all the people... why Grey?Mugto ang mga mata ko noong bumalik sa loob, dis oras na ng gabi. I stayed in our Condo Tower's study room. Para akong tanga doon na tahimik na umiiyak sa isang sulok.Kahit noong makabalik ay hindi ko siya kayang harapin. But I took up all the courage I have and then entered my room, only to find him
Last Updated : 2022-02-02The Moment I Knew Kabanata 43
Grey's condition worsened after that day. We had to admit him to a hospital because he keeps on getting a fever and chills. I stood by his side, never leaving him.Hindi na rin ako pumapasok sa trabaho dahil ayoko na mawala sa paningin niya. Nakakapanlumo. Seeing him in a hospital bed makes me wanna go mad, at everything... at everyone.I can't fully accept that of all the people, why him? As selfish as it may sound, why him? Bakit iyong tao pa na mahal ko? Bakit si Grey pa?Is my life not entertaining enough that it had to do some twist on it? Just to make me feel like "living" the world? Dahil ba love life lang ang problema ko sa buhay, kailangan mangyari ito?I wanna laugh at myself right now. This is all about Grey now. Why would I think about myself? About how this all made me feel? This is not about my f*cking self anymore!"I can't
Last Updated : 2022-02-06The Moment I Knew Kabanata 44
"Get out," Grey dismissively said.As soon as I was done working, I went straight here to check on him. Wala sina Tita at nagprisinta naman ako na magcover muna sa kanila. This has been my daily routine anyway.Hindi pa nga lang ako nakakapaglapag ng pagkain ay pinapaalis niya na kaagad ako. Pero kahit ganoon, nagtuloy-tuloy pa rin ako na parang walang naririnig.Pagod na kaming lahat, pero alam ko na mas doble ang pagod ni Grey."Get out, Peyn. Don't make me repeat myself again.""After you eat, aalis ulit ako kaagad. I promise," wala sa loob na sagot ko na lang, malapit nang masanay sa paulit-ulit na pagtataboy niya.Kaya lang, hindi katulad noong nakaraan na kumakain siya para makaalis na ako, ngayon ay matigas talaga ang ulo niya at mukhang walang balak na kumain.Nangangawit na ang kamay ko pero hindi niya ito
Last Updated : 2022-02-07The Moment I Knew Kabanata 45
It was dark when I went inside Grey’s room. I covered for his parents every night. Tuwing gabi lang dahil ito lang ang oras na hindi niya ako sisinghalan o papaalisin. It’s funny how I’m sneaking in just to be with him. Just to see him this close.Mahimbing ang tulog ni Grey noong makalaput ako. Kapansin-pansin ang mahahabang pilik-mata niya at matangos na ilong. I had been mesmerized by his features since I was a child. Hanggang ngayon. Kahit pa maputla na siya at namayat, I am still in awe of how handsome he is.I carefully watch him, afraid that I’ll wake him up. I’m just glad that he looks so peaceful and in deep sleep tonight. Malaya akong makakatingin.Inayos ko ang kumot niya at pinatakan siya ng malambot na h*lik sa labi. Ipinadausos ko rin ang kamay ko sa malambot niyang buhok at sinuklay ito gamit ang kamay ko. I heard him grunt and that scared the sh*t out of me. Agad kong itinigi
Last Updated : 2022-02-08
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The Moment I Knew Kabanata 50
Mar. 7, 202xPeyn,How are you? I hope you’re doing good. I’m sorry. I bet you’re crying reading this. I’m sorry, I made you cry again. How many days has it been since I left? Or is it weeks now? Don’t cry, please. Just imagine that I went on a vacation and we’ll see each other soon. Dang. I don’t know if I’m still making sense. I really don’t know how to ease your pain. I wanted to hug you. I didn’t know if I still need to blab now knowing that this is all making you cry. I love you, Peyn. Please continue living your life. Please do it for me. Please.Grey————————————————————————————Mar 18, 202xPeyn,How’s life? I hope it’s not giving you a hard time, this time. I hope everyone’s doing good. Can you do me a favor? Please greet my mom a happy birthday for me. I prepared a gift for her under my bed. I made Nurse Jade prepare this little surprise. (I know, I just couldn’t do anything but be a bother to her.) There’s a lit
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 49
"Bakit ba para kang mawawala? Can you stop it? We'll surpass this. Magpalakas ka kaagad so we can proceed with your therapy. You'd see my face all over again hanggang sa magsawa ka na," panenermon ko pa sa kaniya."Why can't you say you love me back?" reklamo niya na dahil kanina ko pa iyon hindi sinasagot."Why can't you stop sounding like you'd leave me?""Are we fighting now?" litong tanong niya na. Tumawa naman ako kaagad at nawala na ang kaba."You sound like you really want to fight me," I said suppressing another laugh."No. You just sounded mad.""I am not. You just assume I'm mad.""I love you. Please, say it back," bulong niya na naman, hindi na ako tinigilan doon.Yumuko ako para magkalapit kami, pagkatapos ay idinampi ang labi sa kaniya."I love you too, Grey," I wh
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 48
I wish I could go back in time... "What do you mean cancel? Cancelled again?" iritadong tanong na ni Tita Sam sa kausap na doktor. "How many times have you cancelled on this procedure? Twice?" "I'm sorry, Mrs. Lopez. Right now, it is very risky to proceed with the therapy. Hindi pa rin kaya ng katawan ng patient. If we continue, we might risk his life. I don't want to do it if I know there is a little chance of survival. I hope you understand." "Understand? Naka-ilang intindi na ba ako? Dalawang beses niyo nang hindi itinuloy? And what will happen now? Wait for another week? Another month? Kailan pa? My son is almost dying!" Tita Sam argued, totally losing it now. Nahuli ko naman ang paghawak ni Tito Geoff sa siko ni Tita, pinipigilan ito. "Calm down, honey," alu niya pa sa asawa. "Kaya mo pa bang kumalma? Tign
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 47
"I'm sorry, anak. Mahal na mahal ka ni mommy," I can hear Tita Sam's shaky voice from here.Nandito ako sa labas ng private room ni Grey, hinihintay lang na makatulog siya para makapasok na ako."It hurts everywhere, Mom.""I'm so sorry, anak," Tita Sam's voice broke. "I'm so sorry. Mommy can't do anything. I'm so sorry.""It hurts.""A-anak, palakas ka na. I promise I won't bother you anymore about our company," Tito Geoff finally spoke. "I promise to be a better father. Basta magpalakas ka, anak ko."I can hear Grey's mumbles but I couldn't understand it clearly. His voice is very weak. Dahan-dahan kong isinara ang siwang ng pintuan, pagkatapos ay pinili na lumayo muna.I'll just wait for Tita Sam's text before going back. I went straight ahead the Hospital's cafeteria, only to find my friends there, silently
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 46
"Peyn!"I heard a loud bang on my door. Someone's knocking. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko, walang balak na tumayo para pagbuksan sila ng pinto.My friends are outside my room, and I know why. Halos dalawang araw na akong hindi lumalabas. I skipped work and I don't even visit the hospital since that night.Grey.I closed my eyes firmly, tears threatening to fall."Peyn! Buksan mo 'to!" Kara's voice echoed."Your parents are worried. Open up, please," Calum added.Ayoko. I just wanted to lay here. My body felt numb. I just feel so tired. My whole life is tiring."Hoy, Peyn! Huwag ka nga mag-aksaya ng panahon sa pagmumukmok! Bumangon ka diyan at ayusin mo ang sarili mo!" Carl shouted. "Ganito ka na lang ba? Itatapon mo na rin ba ang buhay mo at wala kang
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 45
It was dark when I went inside Grey’s room. I covered for his parents every night. Tuwing gabi lang dahil ito lang ang oras na hindi niya ako sisinghalan o papaalisin. It’s funny how I’m sneaking in just to be with him. Just to see him this close.Mahimbing ang tulog ni Grey noong makalaput ako. Kapansin-pansin ang mahahabang pilik-mata niya at matangos na ilong. I had been mesmerized by his features since I was a child. Hanggang ngayon. Kahit pa maputla na siya at namayat, I am still in awe of how handsome he is.I carefully watch him, afraid that I’ll wake him up. I’m just glad that he looks so peaceful and in deep sleep tonight. Malaya akong makakatingin.Inayos ko ang kumot niya at pinatakan siya ng malambot na h*lik sa labi. Ipinadausos ko rin ang kamay ko sa malambot niyang buhok at sinuklay ito gamit ang kamay ko. I heard him grunt and that scared the sh*t out of me. Agad kong itinigi
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 44
"Get out," Grey dismissively said.As soon as I was done working, I went straight here to check on him. Wala sina Tita at nagprisinta naman ako na magcover muna sa kanila. This has been my daily routine anyway.Hindi pa nga lang ako nakakapaglapag ng pagkain ay pinapaalis niya na kaagad ako. Pero kahit ganoon, nagtuloy-tuloy pa rin ako na parang walang naririnig.Pagod na kaming lahat, pero alam ko na mas doble ang pagod ni Grey."Get out, Peyn. Don't make me repeat myself again.""After you eat, aalis ulit ako kaagad. I promise," wala sa loob na sagot ko na lang, malapit nang masanay sa paulit-ulit na pagtataboy niya.Kaya lang, hindi katulad noong nakaraan na kumakain siya para makaalis na ako, ngayon ay matigas talaga ang ulo niya at mukhang walang balak na kumain.Nangangawit na ang kamay ko pero hindi niya ito
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 43
Grey's condition worsened after that day. We had to admit him to a hospital because he keeps on getting a fever and chills. I stood by his side, never leaving him.Hindi na rin ako pumapasok sa trabaho dahil ayoko na mawala sa paningin niya. Nakakapanlumo. Seeing him in a hospital bed makes me wanna go mad, at everything... at everyone.I can't fully accept that of all the people, why him? As selfish as it may sound, why him? Bakit iyong tao pa na mahal ko? Bakit si Grey pa?Is my life not entertaining enough that it had to do some twist on it? Just to make me feel like "living" the world? Dahil ba love life lang ang problema ko sa buhay, kailangan mangyari ito?I wanna laugh at myself right now. This is all about Grey now. Why would I think about myself? About how this all made me feel? This is not about my f*cking self anymore!"I can't
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 42
I cried hard that night to a point where I had to leave my unit. I can't face Grey. I can't let him watch me cry because I know that's the least thing he could handle, he got a lot on his plate right now.I wanted to show him we could handle everything and that we could surpass this... pero paano? Gayong ako mismo ay hindi alam kung kaya ba namin... kung kaya ko ba? I don't think I can handle seeing him in so much pain. I don't think I have the strength to face him and tell him that this is all gonna be okay.This is far from okay.Of all the people... why Grey?Mugto ang mga mata ko noong bumalik sa loob, dis oras na ng gabi. I stayed in our Condo Tower's study room. Para akong tanga doon na tahimik na umiiyak sa isang sulok.Kahit noong makabalik ay hindi ko siya kayang harapin. But I took up all the courage I have and then entered my room, only to find him
