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Kabanata 26
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2022-01-11 22:26:16Pilit akong pinakalma ng parents ko. Kailangan ko pang humarap sa mga bisita para sa after party. Iniwan nila ako sa mga kaibigan ko para pansamantalang humarap sa labas.
"He said he'll try to go, kahit last minute. Don't lose hope," alu ni Brent.
"Manahimik ka nga, Brent!" saway ni Kara habang sinusubukang ayusin ang nasira kong make-up.
Carl is busy removing my strappy heels, hawak naman ni Calum ang pamalit. Brent is of course, blabbing nonsense beside me, hawak hawak ang make-up para i-abot kapag kailangan ni Kara.
My friends are helping me because the party already started at wala pa ako doon. I didn't know kung ilang minuto akong umiyak, tahimik lang silang naghintay hanggang makalma ako.
I appreciate everything that they are doing. Iyon ang nagpapagaan saglit sa nararamdaman ko.
"We can't do anything about your eyes, masyadong mugto. Go
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The Moment I Knew Kabanata 27
The next few weeks became hectic. Nag-asikaso kami ng requirements nang halos dalawang linggo. Next week naman ay graduation na."Talaga bang hindi ka babalik sa condo mo? Paano yung mga gamit?" Kara asked, isang araw noong nasa School kami."I don't really know. My parents told me hayaan ko na lang ang ibang gamit 'don. I only brought my clothes. I don't know what's their plan.""Pero ikaw? Hindi ka na talaga babalik doon?" Carl asked, repeating Kara's question."Baka hindi na. I seriously don't know. There's no reason for me to go back. Si Grey naman ang dahilan kung bakit nagpakuha ako ng unit 'don."Natahimik na 'non ang dalawa kong kasama at hindi na din nagtanong ng kahit ano tungkol kay Grey. We became so busy na school-bahay-school na lang ang routine namin.I sometimes see Brent on Campus, pero hindi si Grey. I don't really have an idea wha
Last Updated : 2022-01-12The Moment I Knew Kabanata 28
I spent my first few weeks in New York, hard. I am in an unfamiliar city with no friends at all. Pero kalaunan naman ay may ilang OFWs akong nakilala. I usually watch broadway shows with them or go to the pubs at night. Kapag naman umaga ay mag-isa akong namamasyal sa Central Park o sa kahit anong museum na malapit. I got used to the city a bit and made some changes to myself. I dyed my hair blonde. I am also sporting a shoulder length hair now. Hindi na katulad dati na mahaba ang buhok. Making a change feels so good and empowering. It makes me feel so free and motivated. Kahit kaunting pagbabago. I am walking around the alleys in New York to buy some pastries noong may tumawag sa pangalan ko. I never heard my name for a long time, kaya naman ay duda pa ako at hindi siguro kung ako talaga iyon. "Peyn!" Kabado akong lumingon sa tumawag, natatakot sa kung sino iyon. Iilan lang kasi ang tumatawag sa akin ng ganoon. On
Last Updated : 2022-01-13The Moment I Knew Kabanata 29
"Napaaga yung surprise ko, Peyn," dagdag ni Brent noong hindi ako nakasagot sa kaniya.Parang saglit na tumigil ang mundo ko noong makita ko si Grey. After months of not seeing each other, akala ko ay wala na akong mararamdaman kapag nakaharap ko siya. Mali ako. Mas nakakakaba pala ang ganito."Have you talked to my accountant, Brent?" baritonong panimula ni Grey, kay Brent lang nakatingin. He's totally ignoring me!Hindi ko alam kung nakita niya na kami bago pa lang lumabas sa elevator dahil hindi siya tumitingin sa akin, o talagang wala siyang pakialam sa kahit sinong kasama ni Brent."Hindi pa. I thought you'll set a meeting?" seryoso na sagot ni Brent. Brent's mood changed in a heartbeat. Mukha siyang propesyunal at hindi iyong siraulong Brent na kilala ko.Bagay sa kaniya ang maging ganito kaseryoso, mukha talaga siyang kagalang-galang at matalino.As fo
Last Updated : 2022-01-14The Moment I Knew Kabanata 30
"Lunch?" yaya ulit ni Brent sa akin noong breaktime. Hindi nakakatulong ang mga pagsama niya sa akin dahil pinagchi-chismisan na kami ng mga empleyado dito.I tried clearing my name kaya lang ay mukhang walang naniniwala. Lalo pa dahil lagi akong niyayakag ng boss namin."Busy ako, Brent," I declined. I have a lot of work to do today. Marami akong interviews na ita-transcribe, baka nga hindi ko ito matapos ngayong araw."C'mon, Peyn. Mamaya na 'yan! Wala ako kasabay mag-lunch," pamimilit niya pa at nagawa pang umupo sa tabi ko. Hindi ko alam kung kaninong swivel chair ang hinila niya. Mabuti na lang din dahil wala na halos tao dito sa hilera ko. Malaya kong masasagot si Brent."You know, for a boss, you don't look like you're busy. 'Tsaka you have a very big office! Doon ka mag-lunch! Wala namang makakakita kung mag-isa ka 'don.""Malungkot kaya kumain mag-isa," madrama niya pang
Last Updated : 2022-01-15The Moment I Knew Kabanata 31
"Sa Office mo nalang," bungad ko kay Brent noong lumapit ito sa cubicle ko noong lunchtime.Hindi pa siya nakakapagyaya pero alam ko na ang sasabihin niya kaya naman ay inunahan ko na kaagad."Okay. I'll ask my secretary to order some food for us."Tumingin naman ako sa relo at tinantsa ang oras. It's 12:05. Aabot naman kung oorder siya kaya lang ay malaki ang kakainin nito na oras. I should pack our lunch from now on. Kaya ko naman iyon, sanay na naman magluto. It can save us time. Isa pa, palagi na lang libre ang lunch ko at nakakahiya na rin sa kanya.Tumayo na kaagad ako at sabay kami na pumasok ni Brent sa Office niya. Hindi tulad noong una na maraming matang nakatingin, ngayon ay halos wala na. Parang nasanay na na lagi kaming magkabuntot ni Brent.Noong uwian naman ay hindi na kami nagkita. I tried looking for him kaya lang ay nasa meeting daw, kaya umuwi na ako.
Last Updated : 2022-01-16The Moment I Knew Kabanata 32
''Its not her job to personally send you the documents, Grey. If you want, I can send my secretary right now,'' I heard Brent's voice inside his Office.May maliit na siwang kasi sa Opisina niya, kaya malinaw ang pagkakarinig ko ng mga salita. He called me here because he said he needed me. Bihira niya akong utusan kaya kahit may itina-transcribe ay inuna ko siyang puntahan.''I don't understand why you're pushing to get my personal copy of the contract. I already asked my secretary to send you the pdf format! It's been sent twice, can't you f*cking get all your printers fixed?""Hello?" tawag ko para alam niya na nandito na ako. Mamaya ay isipin pa nito nagi-eavesdrop ako sa kanila ni Grey.“I’ll ask her permission first. I don’t really know why you’re doing this, Grey,” Brent ended the call. I guess that’s my cue to fully go inside.“Bakit
Last Updated : 2022-01-17The Moment I Knew Kabanata 33
Para akong tuta na sumunod kay Grey noong makarating kami sa 7th floor. Dala-dala pa rin nila iyong box at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. Why is he helping me? He’s a busy person. Halos hindi ako makalingon sa kanila noong secretary niya, idagdag mo pa ang bubulong-bulong na si Seth sa tabi ko.“Grabe akala ko si Sir Brent ang boyfriend mo?” bulong pa ni Seth na paniguradong rinig naman naming lahat.Siniko ko siya para manahimik dahil lantaran akong pinapahamak nitong katrabaho ko.“Nasaan ang Office, Seth?”“Doon pa sa dulo. Iwan nalang natin sa secretary ni President.”Tumango ako kay Seth bago nagdesisyon na kami na lang ang tumuloy sa loob. Nakakahiya na hanggang dito ay nagbubuhat sila ng boxes.“O-okay na, Grey. Ay, Sir! Dito na lang. Kami na ang magdadala sa Office,&rd
Last Updated : 2022-01-18The Moment I Knew Kabanata 34
I am so embarrassed when I see Grey, the next day. He came into our Company to see Brent, who apparently, is in my cubicle. Hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang trip ni Brent at palagi nang nakatambay sa cubicle ko tuwing wala siyang ginagawa. Napaka-gala, akala mo ay hindi mataas ang posisyon niya dito.“Bakit hindi ka na naman nagdala ng secretary mo, Grey? I am so close to think that you want to see my handsome face personally. This is so not you,” Brent teased his friend. Hindi naman niya pinansin ang kalokohan ng kaibigan, bagkus ay tumingin sa cubicle ko, papunta sa akin. Agad naman ako na nag-iwas ng tingin, naaalala 'yung kahapon.“Why are you here? You have your own Office, Brent,” masungit na puna niya. Right! Iyon na nga din ‘yung kanina ko pa iniisip. Bakit ba kasi nandito itong isip-bata niya na kaibigan?Tumayo naman kaagad si Brent at iginaya si Grey sa Opisina niya. Nakasunod ang t
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The Moment I Knew Kabanata 50
Mar. 7, 202xPeyn,How are you? I hope you’re doing good. I’m sorry. I bet you’re crying reading this. I’m sorry, I made you cry again. How many days has it been since I left? Or is it weeks now? Don’t cry, please. Just imagine that I went on a vacation and we’ll see each other soon. Dang. I don’t know if I’m still making sense. I really don’t know how to ease your pain. I wanted to hug you. I didn’t know if I still need to blab now knowing that this is all making you cry. I love you, Peyn. Please continue living your life. Please do it for me. Please.Grey————————————————————————————Mar 18, 202xPeyn,How’s life? I hope it’s not giving you a hard time, this time. I hope everyone’s doing good. Can you do me a favor? Please greet my mom a happy birthday for me. I prepared a gift for her under my bed. I made Nurse Jade prepare this little surprise. (I know, I just couldn’t do anything but be a bother to her.) There’s a lit
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 49
"Bakit ba para kang mawawala? Can you stop it? We'll surpass this. Magpalakas ka kaagad so we can proceed with your therapy. You'd see my face all over again hanggang sa magsawa ka na," panenermon ko pa sa kaniya."Why can't you say you love me back?" reklamo niya na dahil kanina ko pa iyon hindi sinasagot."Why can't you stop sounding like you'd leave me?""Are we fighting now?" litong tanong niya na. Tumawa naman ako kaagad at nawala na ang kaba."You sound like you really want to fight me," I said suppressing another laugh."No. You just sounded mad.""I am not. You just assume I'm mad.""I love you. Please, say it back," bulong niya na naman, hindi na ako tinigilan doon.Yumuko ako para magkalapit kami, pagkatapos ay idinampi ang labi sa kaniya."I love you too, Grey," I wh
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 48
I wish I could go back in time... "What do you mean cancel? Cancelled again?" iritadong tanong na ni Tita Sam sa kausap na doktor. "How many times have you cancelled on this procedure? Twice?" "I'm sorry, Mrs. Lopez. Right now, it is very risky to proceed with the therapy. Hindi pa rin kaya ng katawan ng patient. If we continue, we might risk his life. I don't want to do it if I know there is a little chance of survival. I hope you understand." "Understand? Naka-ilang intindi na ba ako? Dalawang beses niyo nang hindi itinuloy? And what will happen now? Wait for another week? Another month? Kailan pa? My son is almost dying!" Tita Sam argued, totally losing it now. Nahuli ko naman ang paghawak ni Tito Geoff sa siko ni Tita, pinipigilan ito. "Calm down, honey," alu niya pa sa asawa. "Kaya mo pa bang kumalma? Tign
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 47
"I'm sorry, anak. Mahal na mahal ka ni mommy," I can hear Tita Sam's shaky voice from here.Nandito ako sa labas ng private room ni Grey, hinihintay lang na makatulog siya para makapasok na ako."It hurts everywhere, Mom.""I'm so sorry, anak," Tita Sam's voice broke. "I'm so sorry. Mommy can't do anything. I'm so sorry.""It hurts.""A-anak, palakas ka na. I promise I won't bother you anymore about our company," Tito Geoff finally spoke. "I promise to be a better father. Basta magpalakas ka, anak ko."I can hear Grey's mumbles but I couldn't understand it clearly. His voice is very weak. Dahan-dahan kong isinara ang siwang ng pintuan, pagkatapos ay pinili na lumayo muna.I'll just wait for Tita Sam's text before going back. I went straight ahead the Hospital's cafeteria, only to find my friends there, silently
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 46
"Peyn!"I heard a loud bang on my door. Someone's knocking. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko, walang balak na tumayo para pagbuksan sila ng pinto.My friends are outside my room, and I know why. Halos dalawang araw na akong hindi lumalabas. I skipped work and I don't even visit the hospital since that night.Grey.I closed my eyes firmly, tears threatening to fall."Peyn! Buksan mo 'to!" Kara's voice echoed."Your parents are worried. Open up, please," Calum added.Ayoko. I just wanted to lay here. My body felt numb. I just feel so tired. My whole life is tiring."Hoy, Peyn! Huwag ka nga mag-aksaya ng panahon sa pagmumukmok! Bumangon ka diyan at ayusin mo ang sarili mo!" Carl shouted. "Ganito ka na lang ba? Itatapon mo na rin ba ang buhay mo at wala kang
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 45
It was dark when I went inside Grey’s room. I covered for his parents every night. Tuwing gabi lang dahil ito lang ang oras na hindi niya ako sisinghalan o papaalisin. It’s funny how I’m sneaking in just to be with him. Just to see him this close.Mahimbing ang tulog ni Grey noong makalaput ako. Kapansin-pansin ang mahahabang pilik-mata niya at matangos na ilong. I had been mesmerized by his features since I was a child. Hanggang ngayon. Kahit pa maputla na siya at namayat, I am still in awe of how handsome he is.I carefully watch him, afraid that I’ll wake him up. I’m just glad that he looks so peaceful and in deep sleep tonight. Malaya akong makakatingin.Inayos ko ang kumot niya at pinatakan siya ng malambot na h*lik sa labi. Ipinadausos ko rin ang kamay ko sa malambot niyang buhok at sinuklay ito gamit ang kamay ko. I heard him grunt and that scared the sh*t out of me. Agad kong itinigi
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 44
"Get out," Grey dismissively said.As soon as I was done working, I went straight here to check on him. Wala sina Tita at nagprisinta naman ako na magcover muna sa kanila. This has been my daily routine anyway.Hindi pa nga lang ako nakakapaglapag ng pagkain ay pinapaalis niya na kaagad ako. Pero kahit ganoon, nagtuloy-tuloy pa rin ako na parang walang naririnig.Pagod na kaming lahat, pero alam ko na mas doble ang pagod ni Grey."Get out, Peyn. Don't make me repeat myself again.""After you eat, aalis ulit ako kaagad. I promise," wala sa loob na sagot ko na lang, malapit nang masanay sa paulit-ulit na pagtataboy niya.Kaya lang, hindi katulad noong nakaraan na kumakain siya para makaalis na ako, ngayon ay matigas talaga ang ulo niya at mukhang walang balak na kumain.Nangangawit na ang kamay ko pero hindi niya ito
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 43
Grey's condition worsened after that day. We had to admit him to a hospital because he keeps on getting a fever and chills. I stood by his side, never leaving him.Hindi na rin ako pumapasok sa trabaho dahil ayoko na mawala sa paningin niya. Nakakapanlumo. Seeing him in a hospital bed makes me wanna go mad, at everything... at everyone.I can't fully accept that of all the people, why him? As selfish as it may sound, why him? Bakit iyong tao pa na mahal ko? Bakit si Grey pa?Is my life not entertaining enough that it had to do some twist on it? Just to make me feel like "living" the world? Dahil ba love life lang ang problema ko sa buhay, kailangan mangyari ito?I wanna laugh at myself right now. This is all about Grey now. Why would I think about myself? About how this all made me feel? This is not about my f*cking self anymore!"I can't
The Moment I Knew Kabanata 42
I cried hard that night to a point where I had to leave my unit. I can't face Grey. I can't let him watch me cry because I know that's the least thing he could handle, he got a lot on his plate right now.I wanted to show him we could handle everything and that we could surpass this... pero paano? Gayong ako mismo ay hindi alam kung kaya ba namin... kung kaya ko ba? I don't think I can handle seeing him in so much pain. I don't think I have the strength to face him and tell him that this is all gonna be okay.This is far from okay.Of all the people... why Grey?Mugto ang mga mata ko noong bumalik sa loob, dis oras na ng gabi. I stayed in our Condo Tower's study room. Para akong tanga doon na tahimik na umiiyak sa isang sulok.Kahit noong makabalik ay hindi ko siya kayang harapin. But I took up all the courage I have and then entered my room, only to find him
