I wake up the next morning, I guess that I missed supper. Dad is sure going to say something about that. What he will be saying something over is if I stay in here the whole day. I so much just want to get back under the covers and forget about the rest of the week.
But what I want and can do is two different things. So I have no choice but to get up and have a shower. At first, the shower was a difficult thing, trying to wash and hop around in the same place without slipping and falling flat on my ass. But they say it is incredible how your other limbs adapt and make up for the one you lost.
Getting dressed is going to pose a whole new problem, at the base I would walk around in shorts not caring what people said about my prosthetic leg. But mom and dad do not know so I am going to have to cover it up for now.
As I make my way downstairs I can hear mom and dad whisper.
"I am telling you Denice that boy is hiding something."
"Richard just leave him alone, he just came back from an ugly place. He will talk when he is ready."
I pretend to have not heard them and walk into the kitchen.
"Hey mom, hey dad."
"Morning my son, I just made your father some bacon and eggs. Can I dish you some?"
"Yes please, mom."
And of course, my father does not waste any time. "So what are your plans for today?"
"I thought I might take a walk up on the hill."
"Oh yes," my mom eagerly starts. "That new girl lives there, why don't you go say hello?"
"I am not really up to making friends now. I want to figure out what it is that I want to do."
If I thought my father would be sympathetic, I was wrong. "I agree with you there, you don't have time to clog your head with a girl now. Don't be like your brother."
Mom dishes up for me as Matt comes into the kitchen. "What have I done now again?"
"Dad says I should not become like you."
"Yes please don't turn into a loser."
My father is not the least impressed with Matt's outburst for he immediately tries to set him straight. "I did not say you are a loser Matt, you should just start getting your head out the clouds."
"Why don't you just accept none of your sons are going to become a doctor?"
"If you do not throw your head away in that tech shit then you still can."
"I am not going to become a doctor dad, deal with it."
I am not in the mood for this argument, it can go on and on all day long. It is the same thing over and over again almost every day. I rush to finish my breakfast and hand my mom the empty plate.
"Mom breakfast was nice, I am going for a walk."
"Just take your phone with in case."
"Sure mom, I will see you for lunch."
I leave out the back door and start taking the path up to the hill.
We use to come out here as children and play hide and seek. As we grew older and we got into girls, we use to take them to that empty house on the hill, the one where Miss Stubborn stays now.
I have not attempted to try and walk this far with my leg yet but I would just about do anything to get away from that argument in the kitchen. My dad does push his doctor dream a bit too far some days.
After about making it up halfway up, I decided to sit down on a nearby rock. I think maybe my attempt to walk all the way up there will have to wait for another day.
I am just about to get up and leave when I am startled by a voice behind me.
"Hi."
"Fuck do not creep up on a man like that."
"Then don't be such an easy target to creep up too."
"I did not see you on the pathway. Where did you pop out from?"
"I popped out from there at the top, I live up there on the mountain."
"Ohhhh, Miss Stubborn."
"Miss what?"
"They call you Miss Stubborn."
"But they don't know my name, they don't know me. How can they say I am stubborn?"
"That is exactly why you are Miss Stubborn. They say that you don't want to speak to them."
"Are you one of them, do you also call me Miss Stubborn?"
"No, I only got back into town yesterday. Don't worry I am not going to call you that. But what can I call you?"
"Isabella. And you are?"
"Clayton, but just because you are actually so nice, you can call me Clay."
"Ah thanks, you can call me Isabella."
"I think I take it back, I am going to call you Miss Isabella Stubborn."
"Urgh! Stop with the stubborn. You sound like my damn husband."
"Oh sorry, are you married?"
"Was married, he passed away six months ago."
"Is that why you up there alone on the mountain?"
"Not that it is any of your business but yes."
"You stubborn and feisty, I can't say that I like it."
"I did not say you have to like me."
"Are you always so full of shit?"
"Are you always so full of yourself?"
"That is what my platoon leader also said to me."
"Oh, are you in the Marines?"
"I was, got my bus ticket back home."
"My husband was also in the Marines but he came back in a body bag though."
"I am really sorry to hear that. I would invite you for coffee but I am staying with my folks."
"It's fine, do you want to come back up to my place?"
"Only if I can post it in the town blog, I finally spoke to Miss Stubborn."
"Urgh. How am I going to live down that name? I am not inviting the town to my home."
"Let me take you for lunch in town tomorrow instead. What do you say?"
"First coffee and then lunch. Mmmm. What are the town folk going to say?"
"That I am lucky?"
"Now you just flirting, let me go make you that coffee."
I walk with Isabella up to her house. She seems like a nice girl. I watch as the wind plays with her long brown hair, the way that the seams of her dress flap in the breeze. She is damn hot and so beautiful.
She shows me inside, it is exactly still the same as I remember it.
"You know the guys in town use to bring their girls out here when they wanted to get laid."
"You got to be kidding me? I live in a whore house?"
"Well now that you say it like that, yes you do."
"Thanks for that image in my head, tonight I am going to dream of people making out."
"Is that what you dream about? That is hot!"
"If I knew you better, I would have slapped you."
"You are quite the kinky girl, you dream of people making out and spanking men."
"I said slap and get that image of me out your head?"
"Which one? You being naked or the spanking one."
"Urgh! You damn near impossible."
"That is the best compliment I have received all day."
She slaps me on my shoulder.
"Does that mean that we know each better?"
"I have known you for twenty minutes and I already want to strangle you."
"I have known you for twenty minutes and already seen you spanking men naked in my head."
"You such a jerk."
"Says Miss Stubborn herself."
"The next time you say that name, I am really going to strangle you."
She serves us coffee while we sitting around the kitchen table. We make small talk about town, I do not ask her about her husband and she does not ask me why I left the Marine Corps.
I am drinking my coffee as slow as I possibly can. I don't know what but something just wants me to stay with her. Seven years in the Corps does make a man lonely. Yes, I had a few girlfriends on and off through the years but none of it worked out. The chances of me getting a girl now, let alone her, it will never happen.
I finally finish my coffee and say my goodbyes.
"See you at eleven tomorrow?"
"Eleven tomorrow."
"It was nice to meet you Miss Stubborn."
She just laughs at me as I start making my way down the path home. I do not notice the big smile on my face as I enter the kitchen. My mom is the first one to see me walking inside.
"You better be smiling for a good reason because you missed lunch."
And as my father always does, he feels to reprimand a grown-up man.
"Your mother phoned you nearly six times."
"Sorry, mom but I got distracted."
"Did you see some lovely birds up there?" she asks.
"Oh yes there is definitely a lovely bird up there."
"Oh, what type?"
"The female type."
This does raise Matt's attention as he now eagerly asks. "Damn dog, did you met her?
"Yes, I met Miss Stubborn."
"Oh tell us about her." my mom curiously asks. "Is she really as pretty as Betty says she is?"
"Mom she is beautiful, I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my life before."
"So what is her name? When are we going to meet her?"
"Her name is Isabella. And I am taking her for lunch tomorrow."
I watch as my father just shakes his head. "Oh god, there goes the town gossip again. It seems all they talk about these days are my boys and their sex lives."
"Dad it is just lunch."
"Nothing is just lunch when it comes to Betty."
After supper I go straight upstairs to my room as I throw my jacket over the chair, a piece of paper falls out of my pocket. I smile as I open to see what it is. It is her number, it is Isabella's phone number. I immediately take it and send her a text.
"I see you are still being sneaky"
"It is just too easy to sneak up on you."
"I will see you tomorrow."
"Eleven. I will be waiting for you."
I drop my phone down onto the bed next to me.
"Isabella."
I cannot stop smiling as I say her name. I have not been so excited about a girl in almost forever. I cannot wait to see her again.
But as I fall asleep her name is soon forgotten as the same nightmare plays all over in my head again.
It is early morning and I am still lying in bed. I look over at the clock, it is only five now, this would be round about the time our platoon leader will come chase our asses out of bed. There is no way I am getting my ass out of bed now, I turn over onto my good leg and fall right back to sleep.......I hear rapid gunfire coming in from the distance, the entire squad goes into panic as they start shouting at and over each other. I have a much-panicked soldier next to me, the fear on his face is clear is the light of day."Sir, we need to go! We need to go now!""Help me out! I can't move my leg!"He furiously tries to pull and pull, but my leg is not budging an inch. The ever-growing amount of fear is now visible in his voice."Sir I can't get you lose, try to move your leg.""I can't move it" I go dead still and realize that he is not going to get it out. "It is crushed."The gunfire is now getting closer and closer. It is
Fear has broken me into tiny uncountable pieces, shattered me like the worst ever disaster, ruined me in the cruelest way, and killed my soul brutally like there is no tomorrow. I fear to love, I want to love but I fear to be loved, to be accepted for who I am.Love is supposed to accept all but does it truly accept all thing that is broken Isabella wanted me in all the ways I want her to have me, I wanted to feel a woman, touch a woman and be with a woman the way that a man should be but I could not.She might be what I want but I am not what she needs.I have just woken up from that never-ending dream that torments my sleep every night. My phone has been buzzing, as I reach on over to look, I can see it is Isabella."Is it something I did? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me why you left."Just as I am about to put my phone down, it lights up again. It is Isabella."Come on soldier, you are killing me. What is going on?"I put
Forget what you think you know about love because it is not real. To love you need to take that risk, you need to make that choice to fall. If you do not fall in love and experience that love, then it is not worth taking that risk at all. Falling is easy but love is hard. If love is hard, how easy would it take someone for what they are? To me, near impossible, I want to fall in love but I cannot give someone who I truly am. I would rather deal with my broken bones than a broken heart,So Isabella loves taking charge, my successful attempts at ignoring her have blown up in my face, she has shown me that she is one over me, if I do not respond to her, she responds to me."Why have you been ignoring me, soldier?""I...I have been busy.""Busy slapping your brother against the head busy?""No busy with other things busy.""Like other things like ignoring me busy?""I...I did...I just."She looks at me, tapping her finger on her ch
Don't just break your walls down to let someone in, make them work for it, make them show that they are worth it. Wait for that one that is willing to climb your walls just to find you that will break them down just to get to you. The one that is looking for you, all that you are in body, mind, and soul. The worst reason to break down your walls is just for the physical, let love in before giving that part that you are not willing to expose.I have done my very best to ignore Isabella again. It's day count two, I answer her briefly when I think it warrants. Yes, I am the dumb ass that starts it and when it comes to pulling through, I do my famous now you see me and now you don't hear from my act. The damn woman is fine and god knows I want her, not only physically but on a much deeper level than that, I just wish I can get past that part that is in the way...my leg.I am sitting in the lounge with Matt and his new girlfriend when my phone rings.It is Isabella.
Don't just break your walls down to let someone in, make them work for it, make them show that they are worth it. Wait for that one that is willing to climb your walls just to find you that will break them down just to get to you. The one that is looking for you, all that you are in body, mind, and soul. The worst reason to break down your walls is just for the physical, let love in before giving that part that you are not willing to expose.I have done my very best to ignore Isabella again. It's day count two, I answer her briefly when I think it warrants. Yes, I am the dumb ass that starts it and when it comes to pulling through, I do my famous now you see me and now you don't hear from my act. The damn woman is fine and god knows I want her, not only physically but on a much deeper level than that, I just wish I can get past that part that is in the way...my leg.I am sitting in the lounge with Matt and his new girlfriend when my phone rings.It is Isabella.
They say that broken people give broken love. But are all people not broken in some way, it just depends how well you sow yourself up at the start of each day.I am not ready to show Isabella how broken I really am but I also do not want to mess up this good thing that we have.I have one of two choices, I walk out and this ends here or I stay and might not be able to walk for the next few days. The last time I slept with my prosthetic leg on, I hurt my stump and could only use my crutches for those next couple of days. And that poses a completely new problem as I do not have crutches here. Yes, I am so over thinking this but all decisions come with consequences."Boo.""Yes, soldier?""Come here."I pull her closer."Yes, soldier?""I just wanted to taste your sweet lips.""You starting something again?""Sshhh. Just kiss me.She lifts herself up on her toes, and my face goes down to hers. I kiss her. The
I have been out for nearly two days. I got an infection in the sores on my stump, and the painkillers the doctor prescribed for the agonizing pain has had me knocked out sleeping most of the time.I have not spoken to Isabella in these two days at all. I am sure she must be worried sick. I look for my phone on the side table, but it is not there at all. I try to get up, but my body is too weak."MATT!"Matt comes rushing into my room, "Bro, are you okay? What is the matter? Do you need anything?""Where is my phone? I need to speak to Isabella.""It's in the lounge, but bro, there is a problem.""What? Did she call? Did she tell me to leave her alone?""No, bro, no, nothing like that. The thing is, she was very worried about you.""Matt, what did you do?""Your phone was ringing the whole time, and she was worried because you did not answer.""Matt, what is going on? What is happening with Isabella?""Bro,
In a perfect world, hearts heal, and people move on; well, I say that is nonsense. How do you heal if you can’t move on because you are still waiting for the impossible to happen, waiting for the one that broke your heart to come back and make it whole again cause the thing is, you cannot move on if they are not next to you moving on together.Yesterday was torture; today is agony. She has not phoned or even messaged me. I don’t know if she is waiting for me or if I must wait for her. This unwritten book of love is just a messed-up bundle of confusion.I am sitting with Matt and Chloe outside around the pool area. Matt has taken it upon himself to see me get through this; I feel completely useless and vulnerable. “Hey, bro, grab a beer and get some sun on those skinny bones.”“Man, I don’t know how brown I want this buddy of mine.”He bursts out laughing as I adjust my prosthetic leg and lay back on the deck chair
It is in and out of consciousness that we take the drive back to camp. My leg is hurting like a bitch, and the only thing I can focus my mind on is…not fucking again.I don't know how badly I am injured; the moment I try to lift my head, I have Harrison pushing me down again. I have Lopez applying pressure on my leg to try and stop the blood from gushing out.I feel like a mess.I am losing a lot of blood very quickly, for the dizziness is starting to set in. Then…I am out.Next time I come to, I am being carried into the nurse's tent where you have a severely understaffed medical team running to save the lives of the badly injured. The ones only in need of a view stitched or a non-serious bullet to be removed are pushed to the side.If I thought the battlefield was a complete mess, this is complete chaos. Today is a very sad day for every Marine that walks and that used to walk these grounds. Here, in this tent, there will be more li
There is a rumbling thunder that comes down with great speed onto our backs. You can hear as brick by brick come crashing to the floor, splitting into pieces. As I, the final one, get to the street, we watch as it comes down to a spectacular end. A big cloud of dust covers us and half down the street.Once most of the dust has settled, we make our way back to the Humvees."Woohoo, that was fucking close."Lopez snaps his head to my left and looks me amazed in the eyes, "You losing your mind there, Lieutenant?""Now that was a rush. If I say it is better than sex, then Isabella might just kill me."Everyone only but bursts out in laughter at me as we have once again missed another near-death experience. These three months better come quickly, for this heart cannot take this excitement anymore. And let us forget about the heart, that was fucking tough on my leg. I am going to sit in pain for at least another day or two.But there is no time to
It is yet another morning at the bus station that I have to say goodbye to my family. This time shall be the final time that I shall give my mother that near-death experience where she so wishes to slap all sanity into me.But that is not my concern; my biggest is leaving the woman behind that I shall marry and start a family with. Her eyes are filled with tears of both happiness and joy; I think that seeing me doing this the last time is what shall drive her to get through the last three months.Though getting on that bus does not make it any easier. Three months is a long time for someone that is on nothing but hostile ground.And with that, as all the times before, I watch as the five most important people in my life become nothing but little ants in the back window.The drive to Pendleton this time is filled is heartache, and the flight to camp does not even bring as much joy as I wish it to be.But I am here to fulfill what I promised myself,
It is early morning as I sit on the porch waiting for Isi to wake up.There are only two things playing on my mind this morning.I am so goddamn happy to be home, and worst of all, I need to go back and finished what I have started.It is only another three months stretch to go, and by the way that things seem, some of the boys might be coming home earlier.Now I know that she will not love the idea, but I am not deserting my country; even though I chose my wife, I still have a service that I need to fulfill. One thing Clayton Jackson is not known for is to run away and hide. I want to be that hero; I want to make that difference, and god, I will be doing it the right way.So as Miss Sleepy Heads sticks her head around the corner, I know that she has watched me while I have been having turmoiled in my head."What has your daydreaming so early in the morning, soldier?""Well…" she only but cocks her head and looks at me."
I need to stop for one moment and take a step back; what makes this all worthwhile is the beauty that lies in my arms. Should I not have had her presence in my life, I would not have had the sheer willpower to take the impossible onTo have beauty in your life is easy, but to have the beauty of the woman that you love and the one that loves you in return is the greatest gift that one can experience. I can, with all honesty, say that there is no doubt that she completes my life. To be lonely for eternity can be seen as a life sentence, but having what you crave, is the greatest blessing.I have never been more assured to have chosen her to be mine for life.She does not only live in her own body; she lives in mine too. We are part of each other; we are one. I hear her footsteps in the passageways of my heart. Her voice echoes through my veins. I can see her face in the mirrors of my memories. She has engraved herself deep into my soul. She will forever be a part
What is the greatest thing a man can experience?Having back what you have thought you have lost for good. It is true that good things happen to those who wait, but damn, did I had to wait too long"Soldier, Are you going to stop staring at my stomach?""Sorry boo, but I still cannot believe that it is real, and you are sort of kind of a bit, so I can just not miss it.""You can be glad my hands are swollen, or else I would have punched you."I am a mess right now; I happy messed up, man. Here is the woman that I love more than anything, and she is still having our baby. I have missed out on so much, I can only imagine what she must have gone through, but I don't understand.""Boo, but why did you tell me that you lost the baby.""Mark said, as I told you, that he would kill your parents if I told anyone. He had this crazy idea in his head that he could raise our child as his own.""But where did James come in?""J
I know Isabella for far too long, for one, she is wearing some rather oversized shirt, which is not mine, and one that I very doubt would be that of James. And for a second, that damn sugar rush that she is forcing into that body, that well…"Isi, is there something that you are not telling me?""Clay, I think you need to come to sit down. Can I grab you a beer or something?""Somehow, I think I am going to need something far stronger than a beer right now. I think that overprized whiskey there will just do fine."With that, I watch her move toward the cupboard; her shirt is just a slight bit over that perky ass that has become slightly perkier than before. Now, if I were not so goddamn curious, then I would have pinned her down on this very kitchen counter, but I seem to feel that we will be requiring a bed for this one.So as she comes to sit across from me and to push a glass of chilled whiskey over to me, she casually has some oddly fres
We have not been able to find Caylee, but as per news from Matty, they have found Mark. Between the three of them, they came up with a plan to wrong the people whom they believe that wrong them. Well, what one hell of a wicked plan, if you may ask me.Now the last time I have spoken to Isabella, she was still very much taken aback by the great ordeal that has happened to her.Well, today I have a surprise for her. It took a lot of string, but I finally got the big man at the top to let me step away for but a brief moment. Now nobody expects me to know, of course, for I know that my dear mother can not keep her dear old mouth any more quiet than Betty.So it is with very hesitant steps that I finally step in front of the door that I have a grave to be for too many nights now.But from inside, I only hear her grunt and curse underneath her breath, "I told you goddam people that I do not have anything else to say."With a rather loud huff and a somewh
…Matty POV…A part of me is questioning if I truly did hear the words that are coming from the direction in front of me. If there are ever the most terrifying words that one has spoken, then I a sure that this will be it. I do wish that he did not just say that, for I am more afraid of Clayton's life than mine.No, as I stare into the godawful face of James, the other man has not yet made his appearance. Well, this shall not happen today. I shall not allow to be taken and overpowered by two men that clearly think that they are playing god.Now, as I watch Isabella's face, I see the terror creep over her face as the other man starts to speak. If there is ever the most terrifying look that words can not speak then that is what is on her face. But as this man steps forward, I can see the utmost expression of joy on his godawful face."Mark," I hear her gasp as she nearly trembles over in tears. "What are you doing here?""Next time, get