It is early morning as I sit on the porch waiting for Isi to wake up.
There are only two things playing on my mind this morning.
I am so goddamn happy to be home, and worst of all, I need to go back and finished what I have started.
It is only another three months stretch to go, and by the way that things seem, some of the boys might be coming home earlier.
Now I know that she will not love the idea, but I am not deserting my country; even though I chose my wife, I still have a service that I need to fulfill. One thing Clayton Jackson is not known for is to run away and hide. I want to be that hero; I want to make that difference, and god, I will be doing it the right way.
So as Miss Sleepy Heads sticks her head around the corner, I know that she has watched me while I have been having turmoiled in my head.
"What has your daydreaming so early in the morning, soldier?"
"Well…" she only but cocks her head and looks at me."
It is yet another morning at the bus station that I have to say goodbye to my family. This time shall be the final time that I shall give my mother that near-death experience where she so wishes to slap all sanity into me.But that is not my concern; my biggest is leaving the woman behind that I shall marry and start a family with. Her eyes are filled with tears of both happiness and joy; I think that seeing me doing this the last time is what shall drive her to get through the last three months.Though getting on that bus does not make it any easier. Three months is a long time for someone that is on nothing but hostile ground.And with that, as all the times before, I watch as the five most important people in my life become nothing but little ants in the back window.The drive to Pendleton this time is filled is heartache, and the flight to camp does not even bring as much joy as I wish it to be.But I am here to fulfill what I promised myself,
There is a rumbling thunder that comes down with great speed onto our backs. You can hear as brick by brick come crashing to the floor, splitting into pieces. As I, the final one, get to the street, we watch as it comes down to a spectacular end. A big cloud of dust covers us and half down the street.Once most of the dust has settled, we make our way back to the Humvees."Woohoo, that was fucking close."Lopez snaps his head to my left and looks me amazed in the eyes, "You losing your mind there, Lieutenant?""Now that was a rush. If I say it is better than sex, then Isabella might just kill me."Everyone only but bursts out in laughter at me as we have once again missed another near-death experience. These three months better come quickly, for this heart cannot take this excitement anymore. And let us forget about the heart, that was fucking tough on my leg. I am going to sit in pain for at least another day or two.But there is no time to
It is in and out of consciousness that we take the drive back to camp. My leg is hurting like a bitch, and the only thing I can focus my mind on is…not fucking again.I don't know how badly I am injured; the moment I try to lift my head, I have Harrison pushing me down again. I have Lopez applying pressure on my leg to try and stop the blood from gushing out.I feel like a mess.I am losing a lot of blood very quickly, for the dizziness is starting to set in. Then…I am out.Next time I come to, I am being carried into the nurse's tent where you have a severely understaffed medical team running to save the lives of the badly injured. The ones only in need of a view stitched or a non-serious bullet to be removed are pushed to the side.If I thought the battlefield was a complete mess, this is complete chaos. Today is a very sad day for every Marine that walks and that used to walk these grounds. Here, in this tent, there will be more li
Today I give up on a dream, not really by my own choice but still, it was the end of something big. Something I prepared for my whole life, something that drove every bone in my body, it was the sole purpose behind every single thing that I did. I always believed I would do something great, that I would become my dream. I guess dreams can't last forever, but I sure wish that this one did.My name is Clayton Jackson. I joined the Marine Corps when I was eighteen, today at the age of twenty-five I am told that I can no longer serve. I am on a bus back home now, to say that I am not devastated would be a lie. Home is the last place I ever saw myself coming to, especially not so soon.I did not let my parents know, they are probably going to think this is just a surprise visit. All I know is my father is going to be disappointed. I disappointed him all those years ago when he wanted me to become a doctor and now I am going to disappoint him again. Not like this is somethin
I wake up the next morning, I guess that I missed supper. Dad is sure going to say something about that. What he will be saying something over is if I stay in here the whole day. I so much just want to get back under the covers and forget about the rest of the week.But what I want and can do is two different things. So I have no choice but to get up and have a shower. At first, the shower was a difficult thing, trying to wash and hop around in the same place without slipping and falling flat on my ass. But they say it is incredible how your other limbs adapt and make up for the one you lost.Getting dressed is going to pose a whole new problem, at the base I would walk around in shorts not caring what people said about my prosthetic leg. But mom and dad do not know so I am going to have to cover it up for now.As I make my way downstairs I can hear mom and dad whisper."I am telling you Denice that boy is hiding something.""Richard just leave him
It is early morning and I am still lying in bed. I look over at the clock, it is only five now, this would be round about the time our platoon leader will come chase our asses out of bed. There is no way I am getting my ass out of bed now, I turn over onto my good leg and fall right back to sleep.......I hear rapid gunfire coming in from the distance, the entire squad goes into panic as they start shouting at and over each other. I have a much-panicked soldier next to me, the fear on his face is clear is the light of day."Sir, we need to go! We need to go now!""Help me out! I can't move my leg!"He furiously tries to pull and pull, but my leg is not budging an inch. The ever-growing amount of fear is now visible in his voice."Sir I can't get you lose, try to move your leg.""I can't move it" I go dead still and realize that he is not going to get it out. "It is crushed."The gunfire is now getting closer and closer. It is
Fear has broken me into tiny uncountable pieces, shattered me like the worst ever disaster, ruined me in the cruelest way, and killed my soul brutally like there is no tomorrow. I fear to love, I want to love but I fear to be loved, to be accepted for who I am.Love is supposed to accept all but does it truly accept all thing that is broken Isabella wanted me in all the ways I want her to have me, I wanted to feel a woman, touch a woman and be with a woman the way that a man should be but I could not.She might be what I want but I am not what she needs.I have just woken up from that never-ending dream that torments my sleep every night. My phone has been buzzing, as I reach on over to look, I can see it is Isabella."Is it something I did? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me why you left."Just as I am about to put my phone down, it lights up again. It is Isabella."Come on soldier, you are killing me. What is going on?"I put
Forget what you think you know about love because it is not real. To love you need to take that risk, you need to make that choice to fall. If you do not fall in love and experience that love, then it is not worth taking that risk at all. Falling is easy but love is hard. If love is hard, how easy would it take someone for what they are? To me, near impossible, I want to fall in love but I cannot give someone who I truly am. I would rather deal with my broken bones than a broken heart,So Isabella loves taking charge, my successful attempts at ignoring her have blown up in my face, she has shown me that she is one over me, if I do not respond to her, she responds to me."Why have you been ignoring me, soldier?""I...I have been busy.""Busy slapping your brother against the head busy?""No busy with other things busy.""Like other things like ignoring me busy?""I...I did...I just."She looks at me, tapping her finger on her ch