As I slowly flutter open my eyes, I can hear the distinct sound of chatter of excited Marines outside of my tent. Today is the day; for the past few days, we have been building up to this moment. These are the days that all Marines train and most definitely live for.
It is the 23rd of March.
04:45
I have chosen to sleep in just for fifteen minutes. Just the fifteen minutes that I need to get my head into the game. Harrison has begged me not to go out with the squad this morning, but he knows that it is futile to even argue.
This will be my last deployment for a while, and god knows I want to make it count. That means sitting on the sidelines and listening to the action coming through on radio is definitely not an option. I want, when I tell my son why I was not there in the early stages of his life, I want to tell him that I was out there making a difference. I need to do this not only for me but for him.
Though, definitely not for his
07:30I have just watched two Humvees from our group swerve off the road and crash as they attempted to avoid the incoming fire from the enemy. Galland is desperately trying to make contact to confirm if all is alive.Right now, everything looks bleak as we are surrounded by more enemy than what we can handle.But as I look past Clark to the other side of the road, I can see a truck that has been crushed by one of the enemy's tanks. There I can sadly say, if they were not fast enough to get out and avoid enemy fire as well, then they are all gone.There seems by the radio that does come in and from what we can see between the chaos around us, only three remaining vehicles.We are sitting ducks.And this pond is far too big for us to navigate around in.Is this how it is going to end for this small group of Marines?Were we, in fact, too arrogant and too at ease when we set on this mission?This is not how I w
"I told you to stop phoning me, Clayton."With nothing but a huff, I clench the phone tighter, and without trying to sound too annoyed, I speak once again, "But, I just wanted…""No buts, Clayton. You have phoned six times already, and it is only 10:00 am. Do you not have something better to do?""Not at this very pressing moment. So please can I…?""No, I said no. You are not waking him up again just to say hello.""But mom, come on…""I said no!"With the vibration of her voice still ringing in my ear, my mom drops what would be the fifth call I have made unnecessary down in my ear. The phone finds its way very firmly to the other side of the ops tent, only but barely missing the head of Galland."Hey! What the fuck, man? Do you want to kill me?"I only but grunt at him as I catch the returning phone, "My mom does not want me to speak to Braydon.""Well, perhaps because you have phoned her l
"Dear Clayton…I know that if you are reading this, it must have taken you days to get to that decision. I really do not blame you for hating me as much as you are hating me right now. And if it has taken you the time that I think it must have, then I know that you are somewhere near Baghdad and that you will be heading off into the unknown.Now I know that no part of you are going to believe this, but I really wish you good luck and for your safe return. Braydon needs you more than ever, for god knows he does not need his mother, not after the stunt that she has pulled.But if you give me just five minutes, then I want to tell you what and however stupid it might be, but I need for you to understand why I had to walk away and perhaps that you will understand. But before I lay my misery upon you, I want to say that I really did not intend for any of this to happen. I did not want to leave you or Braydon, but I had to; I had to give you two boys a better f
(Second Book For: The Marine Next Door)..........Today I am on another bus ticket back home; this time around, I am not alone. Every single man finds themselves in the same place, heading the same way, including the forty-three brave souls that fought to the very end for their country.What else is fighting is me; every time I just as much as open my goddamn eyes, they shove a needle in my arm. Now I am not a man with patience, and they are surely testing it to its limit.Every time I start to drift away, I clench even harder on that photo of Isabella, knowing that in only a few mere hours, I will be seeing her.Now I would like to tell you how jolly and eventful the plane flight is home, but yes, I am constantly being drugged by some over-eager nurse.Then, just as I come out of my drug haze again, I spot Harrison, I immediately holler, yes, I know, but anyway, I call for the man to come over."Can you explain to me why nobody want
Six months…six months is all I had to live my dream again.To say that I am not completely shattered would be a lie; my entire world has been thrown in a tumble. I remember the day when the doctor came into the room when he had to come to tell me that they could not save my leg.It was as if my worst nightmare came true.It was not so much a shock that I was half of myself; it was a shock that I could not be a Marine anymore. I knew then that I would get used to being the way I became, so it truly never brought me down as much as I thought it should. Yes, I felt somewhat ashamed of my leg, but as time passed by, I accepted the fact that I will be different. And it was that which made me fight so hard; I wanted to be different but seen as normal.How do I even begin now?Yes, I am grateful that I still have my leg, even though it will take its time to heal, but taking away even more from what has already been taken away from me, that is worse
Today is the day that I break my mom's heart again. They have to make the very dreadful drive here under the pretense to come to visit. Unfortunately, neither Isabella nor me have told them about where I am currently finding myself. We have lied to them and told them that I am back safely at home.Well, we did not completely lie; I am at home, just not at the real home where I should be. When they said that they wanted to come to see me, we did not have the heart to tell them what is really going on.So yes…my mom is going to cry.And…my dad is going to be pissed.As for me, my spirits are up, and I am so ready to go home, but this wise-ass doctor feels the need to keep me here for at least a few days. Like not being able to do what I want is bad enough, now I have to be stuck in this bed here.Isabella keeps on telling me that she does not know how I can keep on smiling. I say, well, what is the purpose of feeling sad for myself. My
It is my last day that I have to be stuck in this hospital bed. I can honestly say that I am relieved. Isabella has been having great difficulty with traveling back and forth to the hospital. Yes, she still has a little less than three months to go, but the woman is huge, and she is struggling. I have picked the perfect time to be useless.Now, my mother insisted on staying, but I think I might have just killed my father. Well, my mother would keep on telling me to sit down while my father would scold me for not listening. Needless to say, my family have gone back home, where they are eagerly waiting for us to return.That is a discussion that Isabella and I will need to have later.So, after she schedules her next ultrasound, she and a rather mean nurse that had done nothing but argue with me when I wanted to do something for myself, they both come walking into the room with a wheelchair.Ya, that is where I stop it, "I am not getting into that fucking t
The things that you go through now, the heartache and the pain, the smiles and the laughter, that prepares you for your fate, for your destiny. All the if's, the why's, the will's and want's, brings you what you ask for. The thing is, when you ask for something, you need to make sure to be clear, or you may land with something you asked for but did not really want. If you the lucky few, you will get what you asked for but receive a whole lot more, a whole lot that you did not expect but that you realize you actually wanted.What is my fate?Well, as I sit here looking at Isabella as she is taking a seat next to me and then at Galland that is sitting across from me, I cannot help but wonder what is my destiny. What has fate destined for me?I have been through shit and back, and I am still standing, and it is this that makes me feel that what is deep in my heart is my true fate.Now, as Isabella speaks, I cannot help but wonder, "What are you boys whisperi
"Dear Clayton…I know that if you are reading this, it must have taken you days to get to that decision. I really do not blame you for hating me as much as you are hating me right now. And if it has taken you the time that I think it must have, then I know that you are somewhere near Baghdad and that you will be heading off into the unknown.Now I know that no part of you are going to believe this, but I really wish you good luck and for your safe return. Braydon needs you more than ever, for god knows he does not need his mother, not after the stunt that she has pulled.But if you give me just five minutes, then I want to tell you what and however stupid it might be, but I need for you to understand why I had to walk away and perhaps that you will understand. But before I lay my misery upon you, I want to say that I really did not intend for any of this to happen. I did not want to leave you or Braydon, but I had to; I had to give you two boys a better f
"I told you to stop phoning me, Clayton."With nothing but a huff, I clench the phone tighter, and without trying to sound too annoyed, I speak once again, "But, I just wanted…""No buts, Clayton. You have phoned six times already, and it is only 10:00 am. Do you not have something better to do?""Not at this very pressing moment. So please can I…?""No, I said no. You are not waking him up again just to say hello.""But mom, come on…""I said no!"With the vibration of her voice still ringing in my ear, my mom drops what would be the fifth call I have made unnecessary down in my ear. The phone finds its way very firmly to the other side of the ops tent, only but barely missing the head of Galland."Hey! What the fuck, man? Do you want to kill me?"I only but grunt at him as I catch the returning phone, "My mom does not want me to speak to Braydon.""Well, perhaps because you have phoned her l
07:30I have just watched two Humvees from our group swerve off the road and crash as they attempted to avoid the incoming fire from the enemy. Galland is desperately trying to make contact to confirm if all is alive.Right now, everything looks bleak as we are surrounded by more enemy than what we can handle.But as I look past Clark to the other side of the road, I can see a truck that has been crushed by one of the enemy's tanks. There I can sadly say, if they were not fast enough to get out and avoid enemy fire as well, then they are all gone.There seems by the radio that does come in and from what we can see between the chaos around us, only three remaining vehicles.We are sitting ducks.And this pond is far too big for us to navigate around in.Is this how it is going to end for this small group of Marines?Were we, in fact, too arrogant and too at ease when we set on this mission?This is not how I w
As I slowly flutter open my eyes, I can hear the distinct sound of chatter of excited Marines outside of my tent. Today is the day; for the past few days, we have been building up to this moment. These are the days that all Marines train and most definitely live for.It is the 23rd of March.04:45I have chosen to sleep in just for fifteen minutes. Just the fifteen minutes that I need to get my head into the game. Harrison has begged me not to go out with the squad this morning, but he knows that it is futile to even argue.This will be my last deployment for a while, and god knows I want to make it count. That means sitting on the sidelines and listening to the action coming through on radio is definitely not an option. I want, when I tell my son why I was not there in the early stages of his life, I want to tell him that I was out there making a difference. I need to do this not only for me but for him.Though, definitely not for his
Days seem to be moving faster than we have anticipated, with the imminent mission lying around the corner. We will be moving out tomorrow just before the crack of dawn as we will make our way up to Baghdad. Now to say that I am shit scared for what might happen is clearly evident in the pacing I have done in the past half hour. Much to Harrison's annoyance, he has sent me out of the ops tent to find something else to keep my mind occupied.I am fucking scared that I am not going to make this one home this time. I have come so close to death these past two missions that I am now asking myself what the fuck am I doing here. My son needs me, and I am here in the middle of goddamn no man's desert going off my head.My mom has even told me to stop phoning her more than four times a day, for I am driving her right there insane with my constant checking on Braydon. I never knew that there would come a day that I would rather be anywhere else than the place I used to love bein
It is early morning on a rather miserable Thursday that we are heading towards camp south of Nasiriya on this 20th March. To say that we are anxious and rather unsettled would be a blatant lie. We are nearing the end of what will be the major of our attempt to take over the forces in the City.I have been looking forward to this mission for a great number of days, but since the departure of Isabella, there is no other place that I would rather be than home at this present moment.We have been told this should be a quick in and out and should not last beyond two weeks, but we are preparing ourselves for a month as things never seem to go as planned when it comes to the forces in this Country.But I am set to get this mission over as fast as I possibly can with as few casualties as we had in Fallujah. My only true mission is that little bundle of smiles that is waiting for me when I get back home. This will, but I am not going to say that rather adaman
I remember the day when I was about to leave the Hospital when my dad just woke up from that horrible nightmare that he was facing. That day when we all knew that our love and faith had been tested. A time that we will never forget that should have taught us all a valuable lesson.Now, if I can recall almost exactly, I told myself that the next years would be difficult for me. I would stumble. I would fall. There would be heartbreak and failure. I would pick myself back up and start again. That there would be more heartbreak to follow.Well, if I now remember back to that day, I wish I could have kicked my own ass for predicting my future in such a bleak way.Yes.That night, that was the last time that I saw Isabella walk away, for the next morning when I went to go wake her after she had a very much-needed rest, I only but found the bed cold and empty, nearly like she had never been in it at all.So it has been a week.A week since Isabell
If my mind thought it was deceiving it, my eyes are telling me that I surely am not.Isabella has just arrived on our doorstep again. Why she has not entered the room, that I do not know. There is a slight hesitation about her which I am sure anyone would feel after what we have been through these past few days. I will not question her, for right now, I do not know what her intention is, and I damn well do not want another argument either.So it is with a tiny jolt of energy back into my bones that I can barely stop myself from smiling. As my eyes leave hers, I find the only thing that really matters in this world. Yes, I know that I need to say that Isabella is along there somewhere. But right now, I am reluctant to open myself to that possibility again.Yet, I do have to admit, "You have no idea I am happy to see you and Braydon." I pause for a brief moment as I rush over and place a tiny peck on the little man's forehead, then I continue again, "Isabella&hell
…Isabella POV…To say that I have not hit a new depth of stupidity in these past few days would be a total understatement. From bursting into Harrison's home and attacking Galland's girlfriend to taking Clayton's child away from him and sacking up in some small hotel room. That can easily be described as the most insane thing that any woman can set her mind to, regardless of which world it is that she finds herself in.Now, should I want to try and find the most logical answer for doing any of them, I cannot come to one single one.Why do I hate Clayton so much?Even more important…why is my Bipolar back with such a great force?Why do I want to hurt Clayton so bad?Well, I guess there is only the truth that needs to be told.And as I try to bear the pain that is consuming my body, try to make sense of this fucking crazy that is brewing inside of me.I've run out of reasons to run away from Clayton. I've tr