9. Erase His Fear

David;

Flash Back

“You will not believe what I saw today! “Mom said with clear irritation as she dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and walked back to the living room to stand in front of my father.

“What? “He questioned, and Mum kissed her teeth before massaging the bridge ip of her nose. She is visibly pissed. What could have set her off so badly? Was she overcharged for something? Did she get a speeding ticket? No. That’s unlike her. Maybe a road rage incident–

“Gay boys! “She signed aggressively, and I almost choked on my drink.

“What about them has gotten you so riled up? “Dad signed back, and my mom rolled her eyes.

“Everything! “She exclaimed as she signed back, and I set my Stanley cup down on the counter.

“Goodness. They looked so… Odd. They were all touchy and feely. And like that wasn’t enough, when they saw me looking, they kissed! How dare they think it’s okay to do something like that in public? Are they trying to teach children that it’s okay to sin? A man and a woman. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Anything else is an abomination. What is this world turning into!? “She continued as she signed, and the anger and disgust on her face made me feel tense. I hardly ever see her so pissed. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so pissed.

“Sweetheart, what other people choose to do with their lives, is none of our business. As long as it doesn’t affect our lives, we should stick to our business and let the world do as it pleases. “I watch my dad sign to her, and she groans before sitting on a sofa adjacent to my dad.

“I can’t just look away from things like that, Philip. I’m a Christian. What will God say when he finds out I have done nothing about this? “She replied, and I looked expectantly at my dad. Wondering what answer he will give to that.

“But you have done something. “He signs back, and I raise a brow. She has?

“I have? “

“Yes. You’ve raised our children right. Our son is an A-list student who makes us proud. Our little girl is so bright and lovely and is following in his steps. You have put the love of God in their hearts, and they would never tread that path. Isn’t that something? “He signs, and my heart stops in my chest as they both turn to look at me. 

“You’re right. What is my business with the rest of the world? I raised my children right and that is all the peace I need. My son would never do something so disgusting. The thought alone makes me sick. I would kill myself if I ever realized that I somehow failed and he… “She spoke, and I suddenly felt weight on my shoulders.

“Don’t say that! I trust our son. He knows right from wrong. “Dad signs, and to ease the tension I feel building in my chest, I grab my Stanley cup back off the counter and take a very long drag. They keep staring at me. My dad’s paper-white face and hair, and my mom’s rosy face and brown hair, staring back at me expecting an answer. 

So, I just force a smile their way. I couldn’t dare tell them what I felt. Gay, or not everyone has a right to their happiness and true Christians shouldn’t be judgemental. I couldn't tell them that I felt a person’s sexuality didn’t make them any more, or less human. It was impossible to say to my mom that if gay people made her so upset, she should look away when she saw them. I didn’t have the guts to tell them, so I just smiled. Hoping it was convincing enough and that they would read through my facade.

*********

Present

*********

I felt something move across my face, and I groaned when I realised that I was dreaming, And my dream was just a fragment of my past… As most of my dreams are. I stretched and opened my eyes to see what it was, however, I froze when I saw them. Green, intense eyes. Staring at me. Watching me. I grabbed the sheets beside me as Sleep immediately vanished from my eyes. I stared back at him. At his smouldering eyes. Eyes I couldn’t dare look away from. My eyes danced across his face. From his shaped brows, magnetic eyes, packed hair, his reddish pink lips, and the scar on his cheek. A scar I wonder how he got, and how painful it must have been.

I held my breath when I remembered the state he was in last night. Covered in blood and vicious like a beast. A shudder ran through me as I remembered how he tortured that man. He was so.. Cold. So, merciless. Inhumane. He treated that man like he was… even an animal doesn’t deserve the pain Salvatore put him through. So, why? Why did he do that? And who was the girl who killed the man? His apprentist?

How long will it take before he snaps at me and tortures me too for denying his advances? He keeps looking at me. As if trying to reach the depths of my mind to find things I have hidden. He opens his mouth to say something, and then he stops. However, when he does speak, my heart skips a beat.

“Why were you out of bed last night? “His heavy voice questions, and I swallow. I hadn’t thought about that. I have no excuse. What do I say?

********

Salvatore’s POV;

I stared at his peaceful face as he slept. His hair was like a bird’s nest on his head, and he looked adorable. I brushed off the strands of hair on his forehead, and I watched him groan and stretch. I felt a tingle run through me as I heard him make that sound. I held my breath as he opened his eyes. Squinting first from the morning sunlight, and finally, his vibrant violet eyes landed on me. 

I had expected him to wake with fear in his eyes, and that is exactly what happened. When his gaze found me, panic erupted in them. He jerked back so violently it hurt a part of me. I held my breath as his brushed against me. His scared. He is still scared. If I want things to work between us, this is the last thing I need!

I wonder how much he saw last night. I open my mouth to ask but decide against it. I don’t know what is going on in his mind, but if he saw Andrwe’s torture, I don’t want him to repeat it in his mind. Even though he’s probably doing it already.

I could see the terror in his eyes, and it hurt more than I cared to admit. Yes, I want his respect, and maybe a bit of fear, But not this much. He is terrified and I hate that I don’t know how to calm him. How to erase whatever he saw last night.

“Why were you out of bed last night?” I asked, trying to keep my voice as neutral as possible, and I watched him freeze. He stayed silent for a while before speaking.

“I,,, I was looking for my phone…” He answered with his voice shaking, and I could tell that he was lying, but his excuss was still tenable. His old phone was damaged by my men when they captured him, and I had meant to give him a replacement, but it slipped my mind.

“Your phone is broken,” I began, and I saw his eyes widen. 

“I’ll get you a new one. It’ll have my number and Vanessa’s number on it. That way, You’ll be able to reach me when next you need something. ”I added with my voice softer now, I saw the slight flicker of discomfort in his eyes. But I noticed something else. The way he held his tongue. He didn’t like the idea, but he was unwilling to protest. Afraid of doing so. God, I hate this! The usual David would have retorted. Argued, said something. This scared, intimidated man, is not who I want David to be. I want the real him. The sassy, snappy, sometimes annoying David. Not this petrified man.

“I’ll get you something to eat, ”I said, trying to shift the mood as I didn’t know what else to do. 

“You can go have your bath. If anywhere hurts, let me know. I checked you for bruises after your fall last night but found nothing. Let me know if I missed something, or if anything hurts when you try to move. ”I added, and I didn’t wait for him to answer before turning around and walking out of the room. Although I didn’t turn back to look at him, I could feel the weight of his gaze on my back. The tension between us is thick, and I hate it. 

This is not what I had in mind for us. I need to fix things. I can’t force my wants or desires on him, so I have to find a way to get to him. To understand him and break the wall he has put up. He can’t be here with me and still so far away. Being close to him alone intoxicates me. I don’t know how much longer I can hold back.

I need to fix this, And I need to get him to admit and accept what he is. I have to do something.