Chapter 1

***trigger warning suicide***

“Sheila,” I heard someone shout from outside. There was only one person who could be shouting my name. My ‘family’ usually called me ‘girl’ or ‘slave’ unless we were in public or had company at home.

I looked up at the small window above the basement , I saw Nancy waving at me. I found a pole and tried to push the window open a crack. “What are you doing here?”

“Wow, hi Shelia. Nice to see you,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. 

I rolled my eyes as I shook my head. “You know I’m always happy to see you, but aren’t you supposed to be on laundry duty now. And you know I was grounded.”

“Yeah, but the girls said they’d cover for me. The alpha will never know since he’s so busy with Fiona’s coming of age party.”

Right. It had been a year to the day that Nancy and I first met. It had been the best year of my life after the death of my parents. “That’s true. Fiona’s been the coming of age version of a bridezilla.” Fiona was always over the top, but with this party she had gone even more insane. 

“So come on. Let’s get you out of this dark, damp house.” She helped me to open the window.

“Okay,” I said with a grin, and climbed out the window with her. Taking my hand in hers, we walked through the backstreets to avoid being seen by the pack. If they saw me out, they’d surely tell the alpha.

The afternoon was warm and the air smelled of flowers. Life was perfect. 

As we walked, Nancy and I talked about what we would do once we found our mates. I never had any hope of finding my mate, and if I did, I expected he’d reject me, but for Nancy it was her one main hope. Her mate would love her like no one had done, not even her parents, and protect her from being stepped on and kicked around. 

“Let’s go to the Corner shop, and I’ll buy us something sugary and delicious, okay?” Nancy said, and I could tell she wanted to add ‘for your birthday,’ but I had made it clear that I no longer celebrated my birthday. In fact, I preferred not to even say that it was my birthday, but I knew Nancy wanted to do something for me.

With a nod, I said, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Taking her hand in mine, we hurried to the store. As we started crossing the parking lot, Nancy stopped, the smile fell from her face as she sniffed the air. 

“Do you smell that?” she asked, lifting her nose into the air and continued sniffing. 

I sniffed a few times, but all I smelled were the usual smells: flowers from the nearby houses, trash from the big containers behind the store, oil, and exhaust from cars. 

“No, I don’t smell anything.”

When I looked at her again I saw her frown with confusion, then her eyes widened. I heard her heart race and could smell her excitement when she suddenly ran away from me and towards the store. My heart jumped to my throat. What happened? 

“Nancy,” I called after her, and ran after her. “Nancy, what’s wrong?” If she wasn’t careful, she’d run into the wrong place and get hurt. I didn’t want that would happen. Not today.

Nancy stopped five feet from the left side of the store where Kevin and another pack member, Josh if I remembered correctly, were talking. The conversation halted and Kevin stared at Nancy with shock on his face. 

“Mate,” Nancy breathed, looking happier than I’d ever seen her.

My eyes widened and I looked from Nancy to Kevin. Nancy found her mate and it was Kevin! This was… this was the best thing ever!

Or so I had thought. The shock on Kevin’s face turned to disbelief, then disgust. 

“No! No, this can’t be,” he said, taking a step back from us. “How could the moon goddess choose an omega as my mate?” He said the word omega as if it was the most disgusting thing in the world. 

I blinked and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Neither could Nancy. “What?” she asked, looking up at him, her eyes pleading. The hope and love she already felt for him was open for all to see.

“You can’t be my mate,” he insisted.

“But why,” I asked, so confused. Mates weren’t supposed to be like this. Kevin was the only one who treated us like normal people. Why did he change?

“You always defended us…her. You’re the only nice one.”

He scoffed, his expression cold as he glanced over at me. “I was only nice to you because I felt sorry for you. You both can’t help how pathetic you are. Just like two poor little dogs.” His dark gaze turned to Nancy. “I’m not taking an omega as my mate, no matter how much I pity you. Nancy, I reject you as my mate.” 

Nancy gasped as if she’d been hit and sunk to the ground while Kevin and his friend walked away. I could hear the guy, Josh, laughing and making fun of Nancy. I dropped to my knees as Nancy gasp for air. She’d gone super pale. Even her lips were white. Tears filled her eyes, her muscles taut, and pain etched on her face as no doubt her heart was shattering into a million pieces. 

She looked up at me, eyes still large and round, not breathing or speaking, just frozen in agony. My own heart ached seeing her like this. I had to say something, do something to help her, but I had no idea what. Fear filled me. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Mates weren’t supposed to be like this.

“Well, well, well. Look what we have here,” I heard Fiona’s cold mocking voice. I looked up to see her and her friends walking over to us. “My dear cousin and her omega friend. Oh, but shouldn’t you be grounded?” A slow smirk that dripped of maliciousness crossed her face…

Looking down at Nancy, Fiona laughed. “Why are you so surprised, Omega? Did you really think someone would ever want you as a mate?” She laughed again and her friends joined in. 

“Whoever becomes mates with an omega is too unlucky, right? I’d rather kill myself,” I heard someone say. 

“Agreed,” Fiona said, still staring down at Nancy. 

My friend stared up at her wordless and haunted. The truth of what my cousin said had hit her already destroyed heart. No one would ever love us, not even our mates. A breath escaped Nancy and it made her whole body shudder. It was as if her soul had left. She looked down at her hands, her breath now coming in shallow hitches.

I should’ve said something. Done something, but all I did was sit with Nancy as Fiona and her friends laughed at us. Once they were gone, I reached out and took Nancy’s hand. It was cold and lifeless. “Nancy,” I said softly. She didn’t say anything, but lifted her head to look at me with cold, dead eyes, her expression hopeless. 

Fear struck through me. What was I doing? I needed to help my friend. I took her other hand and forced myself to look as optimistic as possible. “Let’s get you home. Okay?” 

Again, she said nothing or acknowledged that I spoke in any way. My throat tightened and I helped her to her feet. I walked her home. Her hand remained cold the entire time we walked.

Her house was dark. Her dad was away on pack business and her mother most likely was hanging around the luna, trying to improve her standing with the pack. I guided Nancy to her room and sat her down on the bed.

“It’s going to be okay,” I lied. “You just need a good night’s sleep and this will all feel better tomorrow. I’ll get you something to help you sleep okay. I’ll only be gone for a few minutes. I promise.”

Again, she said nothing. Worry ate me from the inside out and I didn’t want to leave Nancy, but I did want to help her sleep. I remembered when I lost my parents, sleeping was the only escape I could find.  “Just a few minutes and I will be right back,” I told her and myself.

I ran out of the house and back to the store, buying the strongest sleeping pills I could. I ran all the way back, but as soon as I stepped into the house, dread filled me. The dread increased when I didn’t find Nancy in her bed where I’d left her. Instead, there was a single piece of paper. My body started to shake as I slowly walked over to it. Fingers trembling. I picked up the note. 

I always believed there was a chance I could be happy. I just had to be patient and wait, but Fiona was right. There is nothing in this world for me but suffering and pain, and worse, I’ve dragged you down with me. My only friend and I’ve ensured that everyone sees you as a worthless omega too.

I’m so sorry, Sheila, but at least, I won’t drag you down any further. 

My heart squeezed with pain and I dropped the letter as I ran to the bathroom. She was laying in the tub, pale and beautiful. “No,” I screamed, rushing to her. She was even colder to the touch. “No, no, no,” I cried, pulling her out of the tub and into my lap. I brushed her wet dark hair out of her face. “Nancy, no,” I whispered to her. 

“You never dragged me down,” I told her as I cradled her head in my lap, smoothing her hair and rocking softly. “You lifted me up. You were the only light I had in this dark life. Please… please don’t go. Please.” 

I held Nancy to me and cried as I pleaded with her to stay with me. Nancy had been wrong about one thing. Mates couldn’t bring people like us happiness. 

No. 

Mates were only a thing of misfortune and pain.