It was really hard, the feeling of loving someone and also being scared that something could happen out of the blue once they see your true self. The feeling of not being able to be yourself completely around them because you are scared as to what would happen. You do not want to think about how terrible it will be, you do not want to think about the negative side. I knew how that felt, I knew this by heart because I had felt this way before, I felt like my true self; being human was something to be ashamed of. A default. Something that could be compared to a bad egg. Something that felt like a default. Even on those days where Jimmy would come through to speak to me, and I wound he so suspicious, I would want to act like the werewolves who could just carry something heavy as they walked past, and throw it at themselves and it becomes something really funny between them. Situations like that. So I knew what it was. I understood Adam’s fear. I knew what it was to feel like there was
Cody’s Diary I was lost in the darkness when I closed the doors that disabled our connection. Like a volcano rushing to destroy its victim, my heart quenched with hurt deep in my veins. A devastating simile to the sun, lights from various sources surrounded me. A window, no a mansion of light was drizzled upon my shuddered soul and that served as my only form of life maintenance. Dear you, I’m scared. They say if you are surrounded by light, surely you must blend with the light. They say if the light seeks you, it consumes you. Dear you, I’m afraid. Too anxious and broken to speak out loud. Maybe I don’t want a form of clarity. Maybe my darkness has exceeded its limits the light can no longer consume me. My soul is surrounded by light but it’s refusing to blend in. My snap off is like a walking time bomb, ready to be ticked by its final oppressor. I am shredded by the sharp razor of hurt I can no longer bleed anymore.Dear you, as you are reading this, I fear I might be kissing th
There was just something that kept banging in me, and making me want to crawl to him. I wanted him to turn to his Lycan part, over and over again, because I wanted to meet him. I wanted to speak to it. It was so surreal, to feel this way between the him and his Lycan. I did nit know there was something like this; that would make me feel this way, because I thought after I had seen his Lycan, I was going to run away. But here I was, wanting to see his Lycan. “What are you thinking about, love?” Adam asked me from nowhere. And I stared up at him. How could he not know that it was him I was thinking of, that it was only him, that could make me feel the way I was feeling, without remorse. I closed my eyes, and I opened it back. and he was still there. It felt surreal, like there was someone ready to love me with all their might. There was someone waiting for me to love them with all their might. Adam really made me happy. I could not start naming the days when he does. “Well; I think
Silent nights, holy nights. My thoughts are scattered around the floor like a doormat, waiting for an owner to step on it, waiting for an owner to claim it. The echoes of my head rings at the back of my head, it’s voice void, yet resounding in my ears. I closed my eyes. I wanted it to stop, and at the same time, it seemed like it was not working at all. I was locked on Dads chest, the only place my body was not protesting too, the only place o was finding solace in, and I wanted to remain there. Locked there in. Like that, forever. I took a deep breath. I breathed in a shallow way, waiting for this void to unfill me. I had no idea how I was feeling this way, I had no idea why it had to be now, of all times to be feeling this way. All I just wanted to do was hug dad. It had been me and him all through. During the times where I will suddenly fall sick from sleep, my body really hot from tears and my face flushed with sickness. Sometimes, when it was just me and him, not wanting to t
“Okay dad. If you insist. By the way, we have guests that are waiting for us outside. So if you don’t mind, we should get going to see you. I will see you alone for the last time. And we are leaving from here by evening, so we still have a bit of time.” I said to dad and he nodded his head. He was actually really excited, because I fork see it in his face that he was eager to actually meet the rest of the Lycans. They were like super heroes to him. I shook my head. “Wait, just let me freshen up a bit. That would be the best option right now, because there would be no way I would see the rest of the Lycans like this.” Dad signaled to himself and I laughed. I had never see him drool over people before but then, who would not? And then again, dad was a bit obsessed with anyone that was from the palace. “But dad, they had just seen you like this when you passed by that time earlier, remember?” I tried to remind him that there was no need to change anything. These people that he was even
We heard Jimmy before we saw him. His voice was really loud and he was being dramatic as usual because his voice sounded like ease definitely fake crying. What was wrong with him for goddess sake, I was almost as pissed as Adam because Jimmy had clearly ruined what it was that we were having going on. Adam’s hands were still on my waist, but his face was long longer in mine, instead it was on my neck and he we groaning into it. At this point, I did not even blame him. I knew Jimmy was moving closer as his voice sounded near. Adam and I were still tangled in our hugs, I could not even bring myself to separate from him. Soon enough, like I had predicted, the door opened and Jimmy entered the room. He shouted my name once more, and was clearly about to scream it again before his eyes landed on me and Adam still in our intimate hug. His hands moved down as it flooowed Adam’s waist as he saw it on my hips. Jimmy opened his mouth and covered them in a ceremonial dramatic way. I rolled my e
Adam pressed his dick into my vagina, and the way my clothes and the weight of his dick rubbed against me, made me groan. It was such a pleasurable feeling. I groaned against Adam’s chest. And Adam covered my mouth to keep me from moaning, a moan I was sure was going to alert the whole Lycan and my dad of what exactly we were doing in here, if they did not exactly know what it was already.Adam’s hands shot out to grab my butt really hard. I wanted to go mad in pleasure. It was all so beautiful against my body. The feeling was something I had never felt before. I wanted to grab him, and at the same time, I wanted to push him away from me. It was too much for me. My heart groaned against my chest.“You make me so fucking hot, can’t you see what you are doing to me?” Adam asked, shooting his way to look at himself and I followed his eyes, indeed. He was really harder than I thought. I wanted to touch him at that moment. I did not know when my hands came out to touch it. Adam groaned, h
I had been staring at Jimmy for quite a while now. His face was flushed with sadness. We had only been able to speak few times ever since the incident and he was finding it really hard to digest the fact that we were no longer going to see for a while. I seriously wished there was a way he could go with us but he had someone he lover here. I could not imagine not being witu my best friend for days, not to talk to months. My heart clenched, the same way it had done the time I had been with dad. It was going to be a refreshing start for me. But it was also the say of goodbye to everyone that had something beautiful to do in my life in the past. I could no longer deal. Jimmy was still staring at me. Although, he was not feeling as sad as I was, I knew there was something there. The same thing that was making him stare at me, remove his eyes. We were a little bit away from the rest of the people. But still, there was no privacy. Especially not with Adam staring at us every now and then.
CodyI was sitting next to Adam, after he had forced me to drink and almost finish a whole bottled of water. Apparently, drinking water helped drunk or tipsy people. I was starting to get to my senses back a little, but I was still lost in that haze. The same haze that tempted me to want to jump around, and dance around the airplane. That same one. Adam was next time, and he had not said a word to me after, except force me to drink more water. At this point, it felt like we were both ignoring each other, when it was indeed far from it. I just wanted to take a break, and not think too much about what was going to happen next between the both of us. Remy had indeed said some things that were starting to just clear on my head. The things she had said had been true, but the way in which she had passed it was what I was not going to agree with. It had not been as much of a big deal as she made it seem, and I did jot know nothing to clear on that. It was very obvious Adam was still pisse
THE PRINCE’S DIARY, 9, November, 1999The end is walking slowlyCrawling blindly in the light Cradling my head with might My other self is staring at me through the ghost of a mirror. And I detest myself for seeing her. Yet, I cannot lose her. Her feet are barely touch the floor. Yet she stands so tall I have to crane my neck. My other self is walking towards me, about to crown my head with thorns of pain and beauty. Beauty through the pain, My other self is staring at me through a broken mirror. Mirror of my broken self, mirror of the broken soul She is screaming, Screaming silently at me for leaving her to decay. Leaving her lost, to burn To end. The end is walking fast. Moving like the wind Moving till I can’t see. Silently gazing at the way the wind rushes towards the water. The sunset, drinking in the beauty of the sky. Beautiful. Amazing. Wonderful. Your heart is dancing at the triumph against sadness. And it’s quietened down the wailings. The bones of your form are e
Remy then got up, like if she wanted to be eye to eye with Adam, like she wanted him to understand what it was that she was saying so clearly. Although, Adam still towered over her, she refused to back down. “You mean how the both of us take care of our business and we don’t make it to the part where everyone notices that something is this wrong with us? Adam, wake up. I can sense your immaturity over this plane. I get the fact that you have never been with a mate, neither have you ever been in a relationship. But watch everything that is going. Watch her, watch the way she kept staring at you in the car ride. Did you even hear the things you said to her? Did you notice how nervous she was to take the plane rides, and how she kept closing her eyes to take deep breath, to inhale in and exhale, she also spoke to herself at some point because there was no one there to comfort her, there was no one there to hold her hands. You just came over buckle her seat belt, walked away, and then
I was still in the plane, waiting for that moment was going to get to me. His pace was slow, it felt like he was walking to me, as if it were a movie, I wanted to count each and every of his step, if there was a way I could. My eyes shone with anticipation, and at the same time, I felt this excitement in me, I could not wait for him to get to me. I was sure my eyes shinning from afar. At that moment, I did not care if me and Adam were not on speaking terms, I did not care if he was going to get to me, and remind me of how annoyed I was, at him from the beginning. I just wanted him to get to me, he was like the prince that was running towards his princess, And there was nothing that could be done about it. It was not like I wanted anything to be done about it. I just wanted Adam in my face, I wanted him to come close to me. It was at this hazy and dizzy thought I realized that I might indeed me more drunk than I had thought. My mind was clouded, and I could only breathe heavily at th
It took several hours before the jet finally took off. I finally released my nerves, and Adam disappeared back to the other side of the room, where he had been right before the plane took off. I was starting to get convinced he had something to do with the other girls who were now on the other side of the room, but I did not bother myself. “Let’s get drinks. I asked the air hostess to bring us some booze, let’s go gets wasted, or what do you say?” Remy asked, and I nodded my head. I sure needed something off my head, before I was going to overthink every single thing, and think that Adam was indeed doing something with girls over there. “I want us to do a toast. I mean, we should do a toast to cody, joining us for the first time, and to the better lives we are all hopefully going to get.” It was so obvious that Ella was drunk already, and I was starting to wonder when it was that she had started drinking. She was doing a toast, while it was very obvious she was the only one holdi
We finally got closer to the plane. The fan was already moving really fast and high. I studied the body of the plane more. There was just no way anyone was going to move close to something like that without having to access every part of it. I looked closer and I saw the same endearment by the side, that had been on Adam’s neck when I had first moved closer to him and accessed him. “Is that the royal symbol?” I asked, and Ella nodded. She was absent minded now, of course. I looked back and noticed that men had moved closer to us. Alongside them was Ben, and the three other guys who were also in black. Right now, they all had sun glasses on, even if the weather was really cool. “She really does love him, doesn’t she?” I whispered to Remy, as we both watched Ella lose her sene or thinking as she stared at Edward, who was also smiling at her, he kept stealing glances at her, and I was very sure that at that moment, he was clearly not listening to whatever it was that Adam was tellin
I was still in Adam’s arms waiting for the time where I was finally going to get off him. I felt suffocated from everything. I just wanted out, and Adam was not even letting me go. I tried to pull away several times not to no avail. I was puffing and groaning in frustration when we the car finally stopped. That time, he let me pull away. I went out of the car after Remy, and stood close to her. I was not planning on staying with Adam anymore. His thought infuriated me. He was just a selfish person that did not care about other peoples feelings when he was being a possessive bastard. I grunted once again. That was when I took in our environment. We were in a tarmac obviously, it was so wide and the wind dusted the skirts of my top. There was bushes surrounding the whole wide space which was located in the middle, making it give this nature vibe. I was very sure this was far away from the pack because I was we have driven for over two hours, roughly. I had no idea somewhere like this e
I was about to move completely away from Adam, when I felt arms wrap me up from nowhere. It caught me off guard, and I knew that I would have panicked, and screamed my head off if I was not in the car, and the rest of the Lycans were not next to me. I glanced behind me, and that was when I realized that Adam had removed his arm and had adjusted them to come close to me. All this while, I had thought he had simply done that to avoid me. I wanted to smile, I would have, if there was still not this renaming prickling hurt that was still in my chest. He had a weird way of showing how he actually felt. In a bid, still in my own anger, I refused to put my hands around him back. He was not just going to come from anywhere, and act in anyway that befitted him, just because he felt like I was looking at another person. When of course, I had just been appreciating the beauty which meant nothing more. He was always the one stressing on how much I did nit care about his feelings sometimes, bef
We were in the car already. I had not realized that the only occupant was just Martin Remy, and me and Adam. Adam was stalked to the other side, pulsing with his arms folded. It felt like he had not even realized that I was sitting next to him already, my head was starting to radiate with heat. Sometimes, there was just some way that he acted that did not sit well with me. Adam could be such a baby. I had not even done anything with Ben, and at the of the day, he was being mad at me for nothing, Adam was such a possessive somebody, it came down to really annoying, Remy understood the struggle I was going through, so she just sealed her lips. I knew she was taking a struggle, not to say anything to Adam. Since he was going to behave like a kid, I was simply going to ignore him all through till he dropped all his tactics. I was not in any mood to speak to anyone that was was not going to speak to me too. My eyes went back to the bracelet that was sitting pretty on my hands. It was gli