Prince’s Diary The resigned gravity that entails giving up drawls slowly, like an hypnotism towards us, passing a raging rave of emotions through our existence. We are resigned in forgetting them, we are resigned in blocking our emotions. We are resigned in being strong. We force our emotions to enhance blockage while hurting ourselves at the same time. We have broken countless of times it’s hard to patch the wound all over. We are being hung by the neck by the memories we’d pretend has faded. We are resigned. Resigned of trying to mask the face. Resigned of blocking the hurt. Most of all, we are resigned of depriving ourselves of what we want but refuse to have so as to avoid the hurt. We are sad people, sitting at the front doors of resignation, waiting for it to shut. We’ve given up on the hope of trying and now we are just left alone, barr and tired. We are resigned in having the ability to feel.Pain lessens when you admit the source.And I feel the reason why we feel more pai
CodyLet me tell you a tale. The one of a broken lady who stopped by every door to seek forth the love, hidden under her worn out cloak, geminated by her deepest desires. A tale of me. Once upon a time, leading to once upon a consistent present, I crashed through the thorns of the wrath of the wicked heart of human, in my search for love. My spine was laces alongside menace as I weep through the empty bars of my strengthOnce upon a time, I craved loved from the ones who ridiculed me in the day, hurt me in the sins of the night. The ones who couldn’t make me sleep at nights Ruled by a dark belief , I embraced any delusional clarification and declaration of love my sick mind provided My being is locked with toxicity I met a man, I met several man and I arrived at an equation; A variable that could never be compatible In the bleak mid winter, I was a sad thing of laughter to my soul, I was written and cast aside by the deprivation of love. I stopped by each door, wrenching with p
There was something about the darkness that called to me. The dizzy drawl of the atmosphere as it rhymes periodically with the cool air outside, I found it comforting. There was something about the dark to me that assured me, "rest baby girl. You are safe" There was just something. Something about the dark. I could sense, than heat the rustle of leaves as they scattered around from the tree and shattered right through the ground. They were like wailing sharks, voice crying out but could not be heard. Dad looked at me, how look was intent on my face and I gulped I’m nervousness. I was not looking forward to his response and at the same time, I was really eager. Dad cleared his throat, and I looked at him back, it was really clear that I was eager to hear what he had to say. My mind was racing already. “Cody, you are my daughter. And I care about everything that you do. I care about you a whole lot. I know that it is not easy being here. But you don’t just drop something like that a
I gazed at nature, in all it's perfectness, in all its glory, the sea, the wind and the air. The smell of the breeze as it swept over me and dusts the skirts of my gown . I gazed again, at the haze of the sky as it overlooked our shadow. As the tears of our pillows, danced underneath the beautiful stars. We were underneath the beautiful moon. Underneath the perfection of nature. The feeling itself was celestial. I felt like a celestial being. Then Adam had gone ahead to play my favorite song. Love, by Lana Del Ray blasted through the speakers. We were underneath the limelight of nature. And it was blessing them in every way possible. I was confused as to how Adam knew my favorite song, as to how Adam knew that I loved, Love by Lana Del Rey. Together, they moved in every way possible to the music, we jumped in delight as the pitter patters of the salty water teased our toes. Birds of different breeds stared at us as they sometimes passed over our heads. And we stared at each other
I stared at Jimmy for a very long time, I did not know what to say. My mind wandered from where and what had been happening, and it became heavy, and sore, and out of focus. I could no longer comprehend what was happening and it was all happening right in front of my eyes. “Ever since you have been gone, strange things have been happening to me. I don’t know how to explain it but things have not just been the way they used to be. It started with my physical appearance from the beginning, you said something about me adding hips and butt. That happened right after I thought I was on heat.” I said and Jimmy opened his mouth, and closed it back because of how surprised he was.“What do you mean heat? What do you mean changed? I don’t even understand. I noticed there had been a difference but it is only to someone who I thought was growing. I am very confused right now. You have to break it down to me, princess.” Jimmy looked really confused as he looked at me. I could tell he was confus
I could feel myself weigh down with my back pack. I did nit understand any single thing that was happening with me, but I knew I was going to figure it out. I went from finding out that I might actually do care a little bit about Adam, a little bit than I thought and the very mere thought was so disturbing. I knew that the world was playing tricks on me, but what was actually happening with me. I did not understand if this was the mate bond, or if I had actually fallen in love with Adam. After the class had been over, the Lycans all trolled out before I could even get a chance to look up from my desk. I was so surprised but at the same time, I knew there was no one to blame but me. I had told Adam to stay away from me and now that it was, it was hurting every part of my heart. I felt like I could not deal with what I was dashing out, which was the the truth. I was glad he was moving on, and happy with his life and that of his new partner. I wished him a good life. I was going to go
After lunch we had a class and Adam didn't attend. I kept stretching and checking to see if he walked in but I didn't see him. I don’t know if was actually avoiding me on purpose or he wanted to do something that was just going to make me keep looking for him, but I knew that I actually really cared. I realized I was not able to talk to Remy about what had happened. About what was happening to me. I knew that I had to speak to someone about it and she was my best option. After the class I went to the library to borrow some books then I saw Adam at a corner. He was so deep in reading that I did not want to disturb him but as I was about to go out, a student waved at me and I waved back. I decided to dodge him but while trying to do so I stumbled on a heap of books. It caused a lot of noise and Adam looked up at me and stared coldly. My heart was beating fast. I knew that I hated confrontations so much but I did not know the extent at which it was going to hit. I could feel my hands
Adam had already left school. What was it with lycans and disappearing? They moved so fast and sometimes it frustrated me. Had he used his Lycan way to move, to avoid me. But I knew that I could not find him anywhere. Not even the shirt that he was wearing. My heart dipped and I became really sad."Ughhhh" I groaned loudly. What was happening. "What's with that?" Jimmy asked as he snuck behind me. He has appeared from nowhere it had managed to frighten me."Arghh" I jumped in fright. I wasn't expecting him to do that. I had not even seen him at all. He laughed. Like the weirdo and wicked person that he was. "It's payback for all the times you scared the shit out of me" he snorted. He looked happy, if I was not so sad and not in the mood or need to ask what was happening, because I was really sad.I sighed. That was all that I had been doing for a while now. "Well I'm glad you're having fun" I scoffed. A part of me was a bit pained that he was not even joining in to mourn my dead
CodyI was sitting next to Adam, after he had forced me to drink and almost finish a whole bottled of water. Apparently, drinking water helped drunk or tipsy people. I was starting to get to my senses back a little, but I was still lost in that haze. The same haze that tempted me to want to jump around, and dance around the airplane. That same one. Adam was next time, and he had not said a word to me after, except force me to drink more water. At this point, it felt like we were both ignoring each other, when it was indeed far from it. I just wanted to take a break, and not think too much about what was going to happen next between the both of us. Remy had indeed said some things that were starting to just clear on my head. The things she had said had been true, but the way in which she had passed it was what I was not going to agree with. It had not been as much of a big deal as she made it seem, and I did jot know nothing to clear on that. It was very obvious Adam was still pisse
THE PRINCE’S DIARY, 9, November, 1999The end is walking slowlyCrawling blindly in the light Cradling my head with might My other self is staring at me through the ghost of a mirror. And I detest myself for seeing her. Yet, I cannot lose her. Her feet are barely touch the floor. Yet she stands so tall I have to crane my neck. My other self is walking towards me, about to crown my head with thorns of pain and beauty. Beauty through the pain, My other self is staring at me through a broken mirror. Mirror of my broken self, mirror of the broken soul She is screaming, Screaming silently at me for leaving her to decay. Leaving her lost, to burn To end. The end is walking fast. Moving like the wind Moving till I can’t see. Silently gazing at the way the wind rushes towards the water. The sunset, drinking in the beauty of the sky. Beautiful. Amazing. Wonderful. Your heart is dancing at the triumph against sadness. And it’s quietened down the wailings. The bones of your form are e
Remy then got up, like if she wanted to be eye to eye with Adam, like she wanted him to understand what it was that she was saying so clearly. Although, Adam still towered over her, she refused to back down. “You mean how the both of us take care of our business and we don’t make it to the part where everyone notices that something is this wrong with us? Adam, wake up. I can sense your immaturity over this plane. I get the fact that you have never been with a mate, neither have you ever been in a relationship. But watch everything that is going. Watch her, watch the way she kept staring at you in the car ride. Did you even hear the things you said to her? Did you notice how nervous she was to take the plane rides, and how she kept closing her eyes to take deep breath, to inhale in and exhale, she also spoke to herself at some point because there was no one there to comfort her, there was no one there to hold her hands. You just came over buckle her seat belt, walked away, and then
I was still in the plane, waiting for that moment was going to get to me. His pace was slow, it felt like he was walking to me, as if it were a movie, I wanted to count each and every of his step, if there was a way I could. My eyes shone with anticipation, and at the same time, I felt this excitement in me, I could not wait for him to get to me. I was sure my eyes shinning from afar. At that moment, I did not care if me and Adam were not on speaking terms, I did not care if he was going to get to me, and remind me of how annoyed I was, at him from the beginning. I just wanted him to get to me, he was like the prince that was running towards his princess, And there was nothing that could be done about it. It was not like I wanted anything to be done about it. I just wanted Adam in my face, I wanted him to come close to me. It was at this hazy and dizzy thought I realized that I might indeed me more drunk than I had thought. My mind was clouded, and I could only breathe heavily at th
It took several hours before the jet finally took off. I finally released my nerves, and Adam disappeared back to the other side of the room, where he had been right before the plane took off. I was starting to get convinced he had something to do with the other girls who were now on the other side of the room, but I did not bother myself. “Let’s get drinks. I asked the air hostess to bring us some booze, let’s go gets wasted, or what do you say?” Remy asked, and I nodded my head. I sure needed something off my head, before I was going to overthink every single thing, and think that Adam was indeed doing something with girls over there. “I want us to do a toast. I mean, we should do a toast to cody, joining us for the first time, and to the better lives we are all hopefully going to get.” It was so obvious that Ella was drunk already, and I was starting to wonder when it was that she had started drinking. She was doing a toast, while it was very obvious she was the only one holdi
We finally got closer to the plane. The fan was already moving really fast and high. I studied the body of the plane more. There was just no way anyone was going to move close to something like that without having to access every part of it. I looked closer and I saw the same endearment by the side, that had been on Adam’s neck when I had first moved closer to him and accessed him. “Is that the royal symbol?” I asked, and Ella nodded. She was absent minded now, of course. I looked back and noticed that men had moved closer to us. Alongside them was Ben, and the three other guys who were also in black. Right now, they all had sun glasses on, even if the weather was really cool. “She really does love him, doesn’t she?” I whispered to Remy, as we both watched Ella lose her sene or thinking as she stared at Edward, who was also smiling at her, he kept stealing glances at her, and I was very sure that at that moment, he was clearly not listening to whatever it was that Adam was tellin
I was still in Adam’s arms waiting for the time where I was finally going to get off him. I felt suffocated from everything. I just wanted out, and Adam was not even letting me go. I tried to pull away several times not to no avail. I was puffing and groaning in frustration when we the car finally stopped. That time, he let me pull away. I went out of the car after Remy, and stood close to her. I was not planning on staying with Adam anymore. His thought infuriated me. He was just a selfish person that did not care about other peoples feelings when he was being a possessive bastard. I grunted once again. That was when I took in our environment. We were in a tarmac obviously, it was so wide and the wind dusted the skirts of my top. There was bushes surrounding the whole wide space which was located in the middle, making it give this nature vibe. I was very sure this was far away from the pack because I was we have driven for over two hours, roughly. I had no idea somewhere like this e
I was about to move completely away from Adam, when I felt arms wrap me up from nowhere. It caught me off guard, and I knew that I would have panicked, and screamed my head off if I was not in the car, and the rest of the Lycans were not next to me. I glanced behind me, and that was when I realized that Adam had removed his arm and had adjusted them to come close to me. All this while, I had thought he had simply done that to avoid me. I wanted to smile, I would have, if there was still not this renaming prickling hurt that was still in my chest. He had a weird way of showing how he actually felt. In a bid, still in my own anger, I refused to put my hands around him back. He was not just going to come from anywhere, and act in anyway that befitted him, just because he felt like I was looking at another person. When of course, I had just been appreciating the beauty which meant nothing more. He was always the one stressing on how much I did nit care about his feelings sometimes, bef
We were in the car already. I had not realized that the only occupant was just Martin Remy, and me and Adam. Adam was stalked to the other side, pulsing with his arms folded. It felt like he had not even realized that I was sitting next to him already, my head was starting to radiate with heat. Sometimes, there was just some way that he acted that did not sit well with me. Adam could be such a baby. I had not even done anything with Ben, and at the of the day, he was being mad at me for nothing, Adam was such a possessive somebody, it came down to really annoying, Remy understood the struggle I was going through, so she just sealed her lips. I knew she was taking a struggle, not to say anything to Adam. Since he was going to behave like a kid, I was simply going to ignore him all through till he dropped all his tactics. I was not in any mood to speak to anyone that was was not going to speak to me too. My eyes went back to the bracelet that was sitting pretty on my hands. It was gli