☾☾SASKIA☽☽Cillian smirks. I know he can sense my distress. Tasting the tartness of my fears and torment wouldn’t be too difficult. I’m nearly doubled over by its anguish. “Why do you ask, bridéach?”“I want to know!” I snap, irritation rising. He merely raises an eyebrow at me. The warning is there, without a doubt. He doesn’t enjoy my shouting. “I need to know,” I say more gently, clenching my fists by my side.“Return to your positions, all of you!” He barks, and a few guards startle before scurrying off to their posts.Absalon, who’s been weirdly silent for a while, finally expresses himself. “I plan to take my leave now, Alpha Cillian.” To me, he grins as if he recently won a million dollars in cash. “I am sorry I will not be present for the announcement of your engagement this evening, Luna. If it should be any solace, I hope to send someone in my place.”“Thanks,” I say with nothing short of disdain coating my profession of gratitude. In the spirit of being dramatic as always,
TW: Mentions of suicide☾☾SASKIA☽☽He has a stubble now—wiry blond hairs that feel coarse when he pushes his face into the crook of my shoulder. I try not to show displeasure at how they graze my skin. My fingers knot in the silky strands of his hair, trying not to rip them off his scalp. Ironically, he prefers when I tug hard enough while he forces his kiss on me.He thinks I'm his doll now. I walk when he says to. Talk when he says to. Smile when he says to. He thinks he has full control. I am supposed to obey him. My opinions do not matter—he's made that clear. Apparently, he's my one true love; he claims I belong to him. I've never belonged to anyone. I'm no man's property. I don't think he's realised that.He forces me to dress to his taste. But I think he simply wishes to humiliate me. I don't know where he finds the bright eyesores that always have budding patterns scattered on them. Perhaps he is trying to make me seem more cheerful than I am. It's all part of the story he's s
☾☾SASKIA☽☽“I shall pretend I did not hear that, brídeach.” His tone is jovial, nearly trivial, but when he stares at me, the deathly flames of a furnace rage and lick at my skin. I tamp down the shiver rearing its head up. “You must be tired; thus, the gibberish, mo ghrá. Perhaps, you’ve gone insane because you’ve had no sedation yet. As so, I shall forgive you for your sin.”His warning should make me clamp my teeth on my tongue, but I reason that there’s no benefit when I’ve already started digging my grave. The most he can do is kill me. And who cares if he does? It’d be his mercy to me. I’d finally die, and, by the goddess’s grace, maybe I’d be lucky enough to be with Mikael in the afterlife.“I am not insane, Alpha. I’m perfectly in control of my senses when I say that I can’t marry you.”Cillian rises, cloak wiping the floor as he sutures the gap between us. “So, your senses aren’t lost when ye stand against me before officials of my pack, woman?”I summon up my courage to conf
☾☾SASKIA☽☽My cheeks soak up heat as my anger revs like an engine being fired. "I'm not sure what you want me to say, Alpha. It's not like I can change your mind when it's set on doing anything." I murmur, annoyance sharpening my tone."You grow more insolent by the day." He remarks as if awestruck. I wish he'd be less shocked because this is the beginning of more surprises to come. I have hundreds of presents to give. They come in boxes that I've wrapped myself. "Lucky for you, I've myself an important guest to entertain. He's one good friend of mine. I've no time to teach you how to wield yer tongue better. Sit and make yourself presentable. He comes."As if on a director's cue, Absalon strolls into the room. I might have slumped in my seat from a heart attack if I wasn't only in my twenties. Seriously, of all people to show up, I don't know why he's here.Why in the world is Cillian friends with a wizard when he already has a witch at his beck and call—Rose, or whatever her name is
One word. "Why?""Do you truly expect I give you that tidbit for free, Princess?" He is back to calling me by my former title, and I've not had this strong an urge to use my fists so much that it physically hurts in such a long time. Well, except when it comes to Cillian, of course. "I am not so generous, you see."I grit my teeth, everything but in the mood for his foolishness. "Do or don't. I don't give a shit."Absalon grins in that way that would enrage even the sincerest pacifist on the planet. "Why are you so angry, Luna? I merely asked for an incentive. You do know I could make an interesting revelation to your fiancé once I return to his company based on how you treat me, Princess...""Go to hell, Absalon. Tell Cillian if you want. I never kept it a secret. I have done all he has required of me, and I've not betrayed him once. He knows that and is sure of where I stand with him." I bluff while my pulse sprints at the speed of a cheetah after its mark—save for the reality that
TW: Mentions of suicide☾☾SASKIA☽☽Absalon sighs mournfully before yielding to my request. “I’ve cast a magical illusion on us so our conversation does not impress on the mind of any eavesdropper. If they were indeed curious about the details, they’d only hear what I want them to.” His lips droop downward as he summons a frown. I tune out, in the middle of deciding his magic skill is quite valuable. I should look forward to learning it soon. Casting illusions? That has a lot of value.Absalon continues with his admonishment as if I care. “I shouldn’t be the first to point out that Cillian’s men follow you in the shadows, or am I?”“I already know that.” I snap, tired of his propensity to treat me like an infant, incapable of doing anything on my own or perfectly. It’s tiring. I know what I’m doing, and I have my plans.Cillian is going to pay for killing my husband.“Make no mistake, Absalon. I am not indebted to you. You can tell Cillian whatever you want. Though... I am convinced yo
☾☾SASKIA☽☽Their vibrant chatter grows in volume as they near the community house. Laughter punctuates the air, blaring cackling sounds that make me wish for a similar, genuine camaraderie. It stops once they sense I’m near. The loud noise tapers off into low whispers as they come into view.“Thank you all for coming!” I greet cheerfully, pushing past the entrance I’ve been waiting at. It’s imperative that I welcome them warmly. For my plans to work, I need them to see me as a harmless Luna who cares for her people. I want them to know I have nothing but what I’ve been given. I need them to give me more. To offer me their love and devotion even if they hadn’t planned on it before.“Luna!” A voice exclaims though it sounds more like a gasp than the former. I identify it as Aretha’s, and I’m particularly pleased she’s here. It’s been too long since I last saw her. I suspect it’s Cillian’s work.He’s been obsessed with isolating me from those I previously had good relationships with. Are
☾☾SASKIA☽☽“The Princess of Westardum is to be my bride. Someday, I shall return to claim her.”His proclamation plays in my head like a movie clip. I haven’t forgotten a single clause from all he said. It’s only expected since it’d haunted me for days and weeks on end. The fact that his men kidnapped me and nearly made away with such effrontery had terrified me beyond words could explain.As lightly as I can put it is to say, my eighteenth birthday was a disaster. I haven’t learnt to stop grinding my molars when I consider what could have been the result if eighteen-year-old me had been given to a demon like Cillian. It’s different now that I’m older. Ten years later, I’m no longer a child. I can fight back now.I belong to no one. No creature will tie me to themselves without my approval. As long as I live, every ounce of air I’ll breathe will be as a free woman, not bound to a monster.Cillian can have my dead body. Anything else, I will keep.Ruminating on the past, I realise my f
☾☾SASKIA☽☽Cillian smirks. I know he can sense my distress. Tasting the tartness of my fears and torment wouldn’t be too difficult. I’m nearly doubled over by its anguish. “Why do you ask, bridéach?”“I want to know!” I snap, irritation rising. He merely raises an eyebrow at me. The warning is there, without a doubt. He doesn’t enjoy my shouting. “I need to know,” I say more gently, clenching my fists by my side.“Return to your positions, all of you!” He barks, and a few guards startle before scurrying off to their posts.Absalon, who’s been weirdly silent for a while, finally expresses himself. “I plan to take my leave now, Alpha Cillian.” To me, he grins as if he recently won a million dollars in cash. “I am sorry I will not be present for the announcement of your engagement this evening, Luna. If it should be any solace, I hope to send someone in my place.”“Thanks,” I say with nothing short of disdain coating my profession of gratitude. In the spirit of being dramatic as always,
☾☾SASKIA☽☽“Tell your guards to drop their weapons, or I will not be held responsible for whatever may happen next.” Alpha Aniyah spits in an undeniable portrayal of rage.The A-train of my gown flutters as I launch myself down the porch between the erring guards and one of the rulers of Tonnar. I’m surprised to see her here.From what I’ve observed, Cillian has had no resolve in mending whatever relationship Guttenbrieg still had with the smaller pack since they were aided by Mikael months ago. However, as I no longer am privy to the diplomatic affairs of the pack, I have yet to learn where they currently stand.All I can tell is Aniyah is on the verge of ripping into the neck of the guard behind me. I risk a look at the one who’s offended her, hidden in the shield of bodies, and it takes a second for me to move out of the Alpha’s range. She can tear his head off for all I care.My lips are tucked in a thin line as I stumble slightly to the side, leaving Absalon exposed. “Throwing me
☾☾SASKIA☽☽Something is wrong. This was my plan all along. Yet, I can't believe it worked this well. Cillian must have a trick up his sleeves. I can't let myself be at ease. There's no time for respite. I have to stay attentive because anything can happen.There is less than an hour left till the party, and I'm all wired up, a ball of battered nerves. Cillian promised I wouldn't have to stay long at the event; I simply need to smile and seem happy until he announces our proposal. But who willingly listens to and believes the devil while he speaks?I have no stomach for the pretenses he wants me to take part in, but I also need him to keep to his word. If I have to bare my teeth for a multitude to see and gawk at, then that's a small price to pay for what I will receive from him. No sacrifice is too much for them. Even if it means eventually marrying Cillian. But I don't have to worry about that for now. I plan to kill the Alpha long before our wedding."Brídeach," my spine juts straig
☾☾SASKIA☽☽The formless body spins and twirls in an endless loop. It pops and glows like a dry log in an open fire. It sputters and shimmers at a rate faster than I can catch it. It's compelling me to chase after it. But once my finger reaches out, there it is no more. Still, I can't stop my pursuit.In a flash, I realize that I am not only having fun hunting it down but being led somewhere. This descent is not simply meaningless. I skid on my feet, jolting to a halt while watching closely as it flutters away. I can't describe what it is. I only know it exists. It has no tangible form words can express. I simply know it has a nature I can discern.I shut my eyes and open them to ensure this is real. When I open them, I'm still in the pack, treading the path that disappears at the large office that belongs to the Alpha of Guttenbrieg.My steps are muffled by snow as I tread slowly. Where are the others? There's not a single soul around. Everyone must be locked up in their homes, hiding
☽☽CILLIAN☽☽"Though, I suspect that will be useful when the time comes to get him to do my bidding. I keep him only because his ties to Mikael were not genuine. He can still serve his use, particularly as the Luna favours him. Otherwise, I would have sanctioned his disposal."It is fortuitous indeed that Westardum's princess is readily manipulated. At the mention of those she cares for, all rationality flees from her. She becomes more receptive to my demands once I threaten to split bones like matchsticks. Her blinding rage and her aggravating willingness to protect the people of this pack are her greatest weaknesses.Beside me, Absalon smirks at the order of events and how I've set them to ensure no failures or mishaps. "I will ever be in awe of how well you prepare for the future, Alpha Cillian. It is one of the many attributes of yours I admire."I cock my head to the side, interested in the door he's unlocked. I will ne'er tire of hearing my praises sung aloud. Until the mouth of
☽☽CILLIAN☽☽I’m a fool for caring. Yet I do each time I hurt her. She holds nothing for me but hate, and I do not blame her for it. She’s right to cast her loathing on me. There’s none else to bear it. Yet, she mustn’t twist the truth. For it remains undying that I saved her from Mikael. I saved my woman from the vile thief.The stupid wretch rots in the grave now. It’s the one place he truly belongs. I’ve waited years to throw the last mound of dirt over his casket, and finally, I’ve done it. I’ve done what Magaret couldn’t when she stood before him that fateful day. It’s most unfortunate she became his sheep.Of present, Mikael loses what little semblance of humanity he’s ever had six feet below; still, my blood sister’s loyalty resides with him. I’ve no problem with her refusal to change as long as she’s ready to accept my terms. Death is my end goal for her, after all. It shan’t matter what she chooses then. All she fates over is whether her demise comes now or thereafter.My deed
☾☾SASKIA☽☽Aretha pockets my hand in both of hers. It’s a lovely contrast; her dark bronze skin edged against my lighter caramel. “I can assure you you’re not making a mistake, Luna. Even if you were, I would gladly follow you to the ends of the world regardless. I am on your side, Luna. I shall always be.”It must be the monthly hormones because my eyes water at her assurance. It feels like it’s been an eternity since I heard similar words of affirmation, and it’s a hearth glowing in my core, melting the icy shards that have crisscrossed and punctured invisible holes into my being. Everything hurts a little less.“Thank you, Aretha.”Her perception is far too keen, as she inquired: “Do you mind if I hug you, Luna.”“No, I don’t mind at all. Please do.” I assure her, and she worms closer and enfolds me in a cocoon made from silky strands of comfort.“Thank you for this, Aretha,” I say, still enveloped in her arms. The tears have only begun to recede. “You are too kind to me.”She sque
☾☾SASKIA☽☽I pretend to be sad as I amble out of the community house; footsteps thud after me. I slow down and wait for Aretha to catch up, beaming warmly at her. She does not return my smile. On the contrary, she seems rather cross.“I’m disappointed in you, Luna.” She grumbles with such ferocity that her fro bobs on her head. I conceal a smile at the thought that her hair always seems to trap some of her moods and energy. It’s beautiful to watch.But that’s not what I should be focused on. Being mesmerised by her hair is not ideal in this circumstance. Not when she’d just voiced that she was disappointed. In me, at that. Come to think of it... her words prickle now that I let them wash over me.As poised and calm as a Luna should be, I inquire. “What is the cause of your disappointment, Aretha?”“That you haven’t left us!” She states so boldly that I have to search for stray ears and curious eyes.In a sharp tone, I caution her. “You must watch what you say, Aretha! Our dear Alpha C
☾☾SASKIA☽☽“The Princess of Westardum is to be my bride. Someday, I shall return to claim her.”His proclamation plays in my head like a movie clip. I haven’t forgotten a single clause from all he said. It’s only expected since it’d haunted me for days and weeks on end. The fact that his men kidnapped me and nearly made away with such effrontery had terrified me beyond words could explain.As lightly as I can put it is to say, my eighteenth birthday was a disaster. I haven’t learnt to stop grinding my molars when I consider what could have been the result if eighteen-year-old me had been given to a demon like Cillian. It’s different now that I’m older. Ten years later, I’m no longer a child. I can fight back now.I belong to no one. No creature will tie me to themselves without my approval. As long as I live, every ounce of air I’ll breathe will be as a free woman, not bound to a monster.Cillian can have my dead body. Anything else, I will keep.Ruminating on the past, I realise my f