Episode 4

One word. "Why?"

"Do you truly expect I give you that tidbit for free, Princess?" He is back to calling me by my former title, and I've not had this strong an urge to use my fists so much that it physically hurts in such a long time. Well, except when it comes to Cillian, of course. "I am not so generous, you see."

I grit my teeth, everything but in the mood for his foolishness. "Do or don't. I don't give a shit."

Absalon grins in that way that would enrage even the sincerest pacifist on the planet. "Why are you so angry, Luna? I merely asked for an incentive. You do know I could make an interesting revelation to your fiancé once I return to his company based on how you treat me, Princess..."

"Go to hell, Absalon. Tell Cillian if you want. I never kept it a secret. I have done all he has required of me, and I've not betrayed him once. He knows that and is sure of where I stand with him." I bluff while my pulse sprints at the speed of a cheetah after its mark—save for the reality that I'm the rabbit desperate to escape from its claws.

Absalon shakes his head; pity is a bizarre, warped expression on him. "Is that so, Princess? Then, how is it that your Alpha is oblivious to your nature as a witch?" He shrugs like this is a discussion between two friends. "I mean, most people would assume that whatever he doesn't know must have been purposely kept from him."

I realise only too late that he's baiting me. It's pathetic that I've been playing along, engaging in his foolery. "I don't have time for your bullshit, wizard. I have kept nothing from Cillian. You can ask him yourself if you doubt what I've said."

"Ho-ho! You are adamant and strong in your claim, aren't you, Princess?" He mocks cheerfully.

I decide that this conversation—if it even counts as one—is over. "I hope you have a good day, Absalon."

"Perhaps you wouldn't be so confident once you learn Alpha Cillian requested that I gain access to your memory and fish out any secrets that could be detrimental to his control over you and his pack."

I gulp as it becomes undeniable that Cillian suspects me. I'm filled with trepidation at what he could do if he finds more reason to doubt my actions. On the outside, I only murmur, "You can do that?"

"To humans, yes. To witches, not quite. To supernaturals, only if they're unconscious, especially on the brink of death, as I've come to prefer." Sadist. I think venomously. I've not met a more unlikeable creature than him before, and I'm fairly confident I won't any soon.

I find the farce he wears when he wants utterly disgusting. I nearly choke on the orb of anger that rolls into my chest as he commences his hypocrisy.

Even the new Alpha of Guttenbrieg doesn't infuriate me as much as he does. Though that might have more to do with Cillian resembling Mikael too closely than I'd prefer.

Sometimes, when his profile view shows prominently compared to the usual, I forget Mikael's dead. For a split second, it stops registering that three months ago, my husband's hand was cold in mine while he lay still and frozen in state.

For the briefest of moments, the bruises under his shut eyes incised into pale grey skin, the ripped flesh on his neck from Cillian's killing bite, the white sheet covering his empty body, devoid of life, disappear into an abyss of loss.

I stop saying I'm sorry when the image of him still on the table springs up in my head again. I stop feeling guilty for leaving him in Tonnar without a second thought, without holding him closer in my arms. I stop wallowing in despair for the man who's no longer mine.

I stop regretting that I never told him once that I loved him.

But then Cillian barks an order or lets me see his face in whole, and my nightmare becomes real again. Mikael is dead, and I can't do anything about it. My husband is gone, and I'm all alone. And I'm back to weeping and wishing I could have him back.

I miss him so damn much.

"I've rifled through the memories of so many wolf leaders. The horrors I've seen are endless."

Wait...

"Did you do that to him?" I demand as a flame awakes in a dead hearth.

Absalon plays dumb. I steady myself with a long exhale as he loafs and delays. "Did I what? And to who?"

"Did you infiltrate Mikael's memories? Right before he died... Did you?" He answers me with a sealed mouth. My breath bursts out in bounds. "You did! You snooped through something so private while he was on his deathbed? How could you—how could anyone do that!" Tears stream down my cheeks as my power crackles at my fingertips.

"You better stop your nonsense!" Absalon cautions, unimpressed. "Unless you want Cillian to kill you."

"I don't need your fucking concern!" I yell, having compelled my tear ducts into quitting gushing out salty falls. "As long as I'm taking you with me, I don't mind dying now."

"You need to shut your mouth, woman!" Absalon chides in a low tone, and I freeze as that slippery hold of his wraps around me, binding my hands together. My magic fizzles out, gutted by his own, which is dark and oppressive as it stifles the manifestation of my malicious intents for him.

"While he isn't the cleverest creature, your Alpha is far from dumb. My magic can only do so much to maintain this illusion." That gets me to pause my straining against his bonds.

"What illusion?"

Absalon gives me a nasty look. "For someone so brave, you are quite stupid at times, Luna." I hiss in reply, a cat with its claws out to strike, but hold back since hearing his answer takes precedence over expressing my negative emotions. I do think a punch to the throat might hurry him up, though.

"Stop beating around the bushes, Absalon. You're wasting my fucking time!" If Cillian walks in on us conversing, we can both be sure he will want a reason for our little chitchat.

The problem is I don't have one for him.