2. Crazy

Orion’s pov

The moment I saw her stare at the fish tank, I felt an instant connection. It was fucking crazy how drawn I was to her.

I stopped myself. No, don’t use those words, I reminded myself. Erin told me plenty of times I should stop calling myself crazy, but it wasn’t easy. Especially since doctors clearly did find me mentally unstable.

I stepped back from the fish tank, needing to distance myself.

They tested me while I was locked up in a psychiatric hospital, and their conclusion was that I had a psychosis when I turned eighteen, most likely due to genetic reasons. I didn’t know much about my mother, but some of the delusions I had were directly linked to the stories she used to tell me when I was young.

Perhaps that’s why Mom left—because she was dealing with her own mental health. I wish I knew, but she didn’t say a word to anyone. My mother just disappeared without a trace, and although Erin and I both told the police it was unlike my mother to leave like that, they refused to investigate any further and told us she had abandoned me. And when she didn’t come back, I started to believe they might have been right. Or she had died. If she cared, she would have come back for me, right?

I’ll probably never know why she left and where she is now. Just like I’ll never know who my dad is.

"Orion!" Erin called me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I had to focus on my job, so I pushed the thoughts about mom out of my head. The Sunflower Motel wasn’t big, but it was home to me and the only place willing to hire a former convict who spent time in a psychiatric hospital.

Everyone who lived in this town knew what I had done, but I didn’t want to leave. Erin and her son Ezra were the closest thing I had to family, and I needed that right now. I had only gotten out a few months ago, and they had been nothing but supportive, despite my past.

Ezra was born deaf, and when I was young, he taught me sign language. Ezra was awesome, and even when I lived with a foster family, he tried to keep in touch with me. He wrote me letters when I was locked up, and he and Erin visited me in the hospital. He was a true fucking friend.

He was a few years older than me, had his own business working in IT and had his own house, but would often stop by the motel to have dinner with his mother and me.

[Something’s up with her. Erin signed, [I think she’s in trouble.]

The young woman seemed oblivious to Erin signing behind her back, and I tried to get her attention by asking her if I could take her bag, but she seemed too busy staring at me. Did the pretty redhead have a crush on me?

She followed behind me as I took her to her room. I took the key from her hand, and my fingers brushed against hers. It almost felt like there was static electricity, but instead of it hurting, it felt good. It was crazy; I had never felt anything like it. Sorry, not crazy, odd.

I opened her door, and she smiled at me, "thank you. Orion is your name, right?"

I didn’t even notice the bruising on her neck and some faint bruising on her arm and eye before now, because I had been too busy admiring how beautiful she looked. She had gorgeous green eyes that looked even brighter because of her red hair. She had a cute button nose and lips that looked absolutely kissable. Her face was perfect, and she had a body to match. The young woman was wearing a summer dress that emphasized her curves and long legs.

"And your name is..." I asked, with one hand on the doorframe. I was tempted to step even closer to the woman, but I held myself back. It wasn’t safe for her to be around me anyway.

She looked up at me, "My name is Izzy."

"Well, I hope you enjoy your stay here at the Sunflower Motel. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask." I said, looking down at the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was shorter than me, but most people are, so I was used to it. My height and size meant that people left me alone in prison and the hospital, so I didn’t mind occasionally hitting my head against a doorframe or having trouble finding clothes that fit me.

Izzy blushed, which made her look even cuter. "Okay, thank you."

I walked away, and Izzy’s eyes followed me. Yeah, she definitely had a crush on me. Too bad I had a conscience, or I would have taken advantage of her crush. Besides, sleeping with hotel guests wasn’t something Erin allowed, although a few male and female guests had asked me to join them in their rooms from time to time, which I always politely declined.

I wasn’t ready for a relationship and wasn't looking for a fling either. I was focusing on getting better and making sure I proved Erin was right to trust me.

I spent the rest of the day focusing on work. It was my job to handle the maintenance of the motel, carry bags, and help unload the groceries for the kitchen staff. Our motel provided complimentary breakfast, but our restaurant also provided lunch or dinner for those willing and able to pay.

It sometimes felt like I was a glorified handyman and janitor, but at least I got paid and had a place to live. Maybe once I got myself together and had some money saved up, I could think about a different career path. I only had my high school diploma and some skills I picked up in prison before I was sent away. But for now, this was enough.

I grabbed some tools, ready to tackle the boiler that had been acting up. I had no clue if I could fix it, but YouTube and some common sense might do the trick. It was a lot cheaper than hiring an actual expert, and usually I’d be able to manage the small repairs myself.

I had my phone in my hand, already looking for the right DIY video, when I bumped straight into Izzy. I let my phone drop on the floor, making sure Izzy didn’t fall back. She held on to my shirt tightly, and for a few seconds, I could swear the voice was back inside my head.

‘Orion….please listen.’

‘Go away.’ I tried to tell him, pushing him back. He had called himself Knox. I mean, I called him Knox? He was inside my head, so I must have named him. It didn't matter. He wasn't real.

"I’m so sorry!" Izzy called out, and I quickly let her go.

It might have let go a little too fast because she almost looked hurt when I practically flinched at her touch. She had done nothing wrong, but I didn’t want to hear that voice again. I had been doing so well. I couldn’t go back. I wouldn’t fucking go back.

She grabbed my phone from the floor, and the screen had a large crack. Shit. I have no money to fix that right now.

"I can pay for it." Izzy offered, but I was pretty sure if she had money she wouldn’t be staying here. Erin tried her best to make this motel nice, but it wasn’t a five star hotel, that was for sure.

"It was my fault; I shouldn't have been watching videos on my phone and walking around. Don’t worry about it." I tried my best to act like it wasn’t important. I wanted to go back to my room and get my pills. Hearing that voice again scared me. I scoffed; if people knew that the big tattooed guy was scared shitless of some voice inside his head, they’d probably think it was a joke. I was the one people feared, but they had no clue what was happening inside my head.

Izzy nodded her pretty head. Her red, wavy hair fell in front of her face. "Okay. I’m sorry, though. Really." she muttered, her voice sounding almost sad.