8. Okay

Orion’s pov

Maybe it was for the better. This whole thing with Izzy was crazy anyway. What was I thinking? I barely knew the girl, and I had already told her more than I had told most. I wanted to be there for her, for her to feel safe with me, but how could she?

I didn’t even feel safe around myself, always worrying what would happen if I lost control again. If the sick part of my brain would take over. It made me nervous that since Izzy arrived here, I had growled and even thought I heard his voice again. I could feel him gnawing at the back of my head more than ever. I should just keep my distance.

So that’s what I did. For the next two weeks, Izzy worked five days a week at the diner, so it was easy to avoid her in the mornings and afternoons. But at dinner, I was often forced to sit at the same table as Izzy. I let Erin talk to Izzy and only replied when a question was directed at me. I hated this, but it was better for Izzy if I left her alone.

Izzy was off on Sunday, and I had no idea what she did on those days because she hardly left her room. But I found out soon enough when I was told to fix a leaky pipe in her room.

I knocked on the door, and Izzy told me to come in. As soon as I opened the door, her scent hit me. God, how could one person smell this fucking good? Was this her perfume? It was everywhere in her room. It was this flowery scent that somehow reminded me of my mom. She used to wear a lot of perfume, a different one each day. It was almost too much at times, but the one I liked the most was this perfume with hints of jasmine.

I didn’t even notice Izzy lay back down on her bed and grab her book. The last time I was in this room was in the middle of the night, but I didn’t remember seeing this many books then. She had a small shelf on the wall, and it was filled with different books.

"You like reading?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"I really do, yes. You?" Izzy replied, putting her book down.

I nodded my head, "I spent a lot of my time reading while I was locked up. Training, reading, and getting tattooed. Anything to keep out of trouble."

"Did you get all of them in prison? It’s probably not allowed in a hospital to get tattooed." Izzy replied, staring at my arms.

"I got most of them before I turned eighteen. My foster dad didn’t care what I looked like, but I did get some tattoos in prison, although it’s illegal to tattoo and a bit dangerous. It’s not really clean in prison, and there's a higher chance of infection. But I hardly ever get sick anyway, so I was fine."

Izzy smiled at me. "They’re pretty."

I chuckled, "that’s what every tough guy wants to hear. That his tattoos are pretty."

"Oops. Sorry." Izzy replied, blushing and giggling at the same time.

"I’ll go fix that pipe now." I replied, walking into her bathroom.

Izzy followed in behind me and pointed out what the problem was. "It won’t stop dripping, and the sound is driving me crazy. It’s making it harder to sleep."

"Harder? Do you still get nightmares?"

Izzy nodded, "sometimes. Not like that one, though."

I fixed the pipe, which wasn’t really that hard. It was just a bit loose and needed some tightening. I came out of the bathroom, and Izzy sat on the bed, looking nervous.

"I’m sorry. I was mean to you before. I hope you talking to me now means you’re not angry at me anymore?"

What? She thought I was angry. I shook my head, "I wasn’t angry. You were right. We don’t really know each other that well. Why would you tell me all your secrets? Especially to someone like me."

"What does that mean? Someone like you?"

Was she really going to make me say it? "Someone that’s crazy."

Izzy was the one shaking her head now. "You’re not crazy. Even if there’s something wrong mentally, then that’s not something that’s your fault." She sighed. "There’s a lot I can’t talk about, but it has nothing to do with you. There are some thing I plan on never telling anyone."

"Isn't it hard keeping it all in?"

"Not harder than my life would have been if I hadn’t left. At least here I have a choice."

I really felt like hugging Izzy, but I settled for a kind smile. "Sounds like you came out of a prison of your own."

It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders to know that we were back to how we were those first two days.

"That’s because she’s yours...."

No. No. I can’t hear his voice right now. It was gone. Knox had been gone for months, and it only came out when I was near Izzy. Shit. Maybe I should stay away. What if I hurt her?

"Orion?" Izzy had stood up and walked towards me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, no. I just need to go to my room." I replied, practically running out of there. This can’t be happening right now. Do I need to up my dose? I was already taking more pills than ever, and soon I would be running low again.

I ran into my room, not bothering to close the door, and found the bottle of pills in my drawer. It was almost empty. Shit!

Unscrewing the lid and trying to find a glass for some water, I looked around frantically, which wasn’t making things go faster at all.

"Orion…."

I dropped the bottle and turned around to see Izzy standing there looking worried. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, "no."

"Okay, this may seem weird, but can I hug, -" Before she could finish her sentence, I had already put my arms around this beautiful young woman in front of me.

Having her in my arms felt right. Izzy was short, but she fit into my arms perfectly. I could mold myself around her while her arms hugged my waist tightly.

"It’s going to be okay." She whispered, and maybe it would be.

I released my grip around her a bit but wasn’t letting go yet, and Izzy looked up at me, her beautiful green eyes checking if I was okay. For a second, she stared at my lips, but her eyes lowered, trying to hide what she had done.

"Thank you."

Her eyes went up again. "You’re welcome."

Without thinking, I leaned my head down, wanting to capture her lips with mine. I gave her enough space to move away if she wanted to, but Izzy stayed in place until my lips touched hers.

It was everything I had thought about since meeting her, but somehow it felt even better than I thought it would. My hands went to the back of her head, and I pulled Izzy even closer, wanting more, and she wanted more, because she moaned into my mouth and her grip on my waist tightened.

This wasn’t enough; I wanted more, and I led us to my bed. Sitting down on the bed and pulling Izzy on my lap, making her straddle me. Izzy was addictive, and one kiss would never be enough now that I had a taste.

"Wait…"

I stopped as soon as she said this, and I watched her face for any signs of regret.

"I am not ready for more."

Shit. Of course she wasn’t. What did she say—a man tried to rape and kill her? I was so stupid!

"No," Izzy said, seeing the look on my face. "Don’t feel bad. This was the best kiss ever. This was amazing. It’s just not smart to rush into things. You weren’t feeling well, and I don’t want to do something either of us will regret."

I smiled, "there is no way in hell I could ever regret this."

Izzy giggled and blushed, "well, good."

My hand stroked the side of her face. "let’s go slow, yeah? Maybe I can take you out on a date first?"

Her face lit up. "You want to take me on a date?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah! Why wouldn’t I? Or do you not want to go somewhere with me? I mean, I would get why. They’ll start talking about you too, and, -"

Izzy stopped me by giving me a soft peck on the lips. "I don’t care about that. I thought maybe this was just something physical, like you only wanted to kiss me because you were stressed out. I didn't think you would want more."

I bit my lip. God, did she even know what she was doing to me? Yeah, it was physical. I was fucking hard, and she could probably feel it, sitting the way he did on top of my lap. But it wasn’t just that. Izzy had been in my head the second I saw her, and it had been torture trying to stay away.

"I like you." I said, trying not to freak her out by telling her what I was really feeling. She would think I was obsessed with her, which I kind of was.

Izzy blushed again, "I like you too, Orion."