Chapter 1.1

“And now, the champion for the 1987 Melaware District’s Annual Inter-Academy Science Fair is…”

My heart was thumping with excitement and nervousness. I have spent weeks of sleepless nights in ensuring that my science project is nothing but flawless in operation. There has been a lot of times when I have been stuck working with nothing, but my desk light. It is not that I couldn’t bear losing, but rather I couldn’t afford all the things I’ve spent and risked for go down the drain.

“Is…”

The drumroll seemingly synced itself with my heartbeat. I couldn’t contain the anticipation. Tears had just rolled down my face and my vision was blurred by the welling up of my eyes.

There has been a lot of people who has spent most of their time and other resources just so I could win. I couldn’t let them down, can I? How will I face my teachers, my family, my friends? They all I have high hopes for me. I know I did my best for this competition, but is my best enough? Am I enough to make them all proud? Are my efforts enough to be able to pay them back for everything I owe them? Am I –

The crowd surrounding me suddenly felt loud and cheery. I could hear my coach screaming with so much joy. All of a sudden, I felt her holding my hands, guiding me to the stage. What is happening? I couldn’t see anything! What did I miss? Did the competition end, already?

“Cry no more, because you are the winner… Morgana Alessandra Nicoli from St. Thomas Aquinas Montessori School!”

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I am the winner! My tears had their second wave of flow as such facts continue to sink in to me. To say that I am ecstatic is an understatement. I couldn’t wait to face everyone.

“I am so proud of Alessandra! Let us celebrate first before we gear up for the regionals, shouldn’t we?” I giggled with joy at Ms. Monzon. She is a new teacher at our school. She kind, smart, and beautiful. She always has this sweet smile and caring eyes that she gives to us.

“Yes! Teacher, please treat us to McDo. I want fries and sundae!” I asked.

Ms. Monzon has always been giving to us. I have never seen her get angry except for the times that my brother and friends continue to annoy her with their childish antics. When I grow up, I wanted to be like her. Although, not as a teacher, since my parents would rather want us to become inclined in business, but as someone with the same admirable personality.

As Ms. Monzon ordered for me and the other kids, we have come across Mrs. Alegado, our art teacher. She is a lot older than Ms. Monzon. She looks strict with her thick and high-arched thin brows, but no one other teacher could match her soothing voice. She is like a grandmother to us and I have always loved attending our class.

“Hey dear, what are you all doing here?” she asked in a soft voice.

“Ms. Monzon will treat us food, since Alessandra won!”

“Oh really, that is nice! What is your rank, Alessandra?”

“Champion!” I exclaimed with so much glee. “I will be heading for the regionals.”

“Wow, you will be so busy, then. Anyway, I had another good news for you! You are also qualified for the National Culture and Arts Poster Making Contest!”

I was so shocked and happy, I squeaked. Just in time, Ms. Monzon came to our table with our orders. “Oh, Mrs. Alegado! What is this commotion all about?” She asked in a soft inquiring voice. “Ah, this bright kid will also compete for arts.”

“Wow! You are so talented, my dear! I am sure your parents will be so proud of you.” Hearing that makes me anticipate for my mom’s reaction. “Tell them early, okay, so we can prepare the waiver for you.”

None of them knew that I was going to join compete nor do they expect me to win. This will be such a perfect surprise for my mom. A perfect gift for her birthday tomorrow.

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“You’re late!” Mom’s voice echoed through the halls of our house.

“Oh! I am responsible for it, Mrs. Nicoli, the competition ended sometime in the afternoon, but I still took them for a treat at McDo that is why she’s late.” Mom, looked at me with full of accusation in her eyes. My excited and ecstatic heart suddenly died in dread. My mom won’t be willing to llisten to any of my explanations, today.

“Please do not be harsh on her. She is such very bright kid. In fact,” please do not say that. Let me tell them myself. I haven’t told anyone of them, yet.

“She won as first placer, during the science fair.” Oh no. My mom flashed a fake smile at my coach. I know, that it is fake as I have seen this smile a countless of times before she burst into a fit of anger. “And, she was also chosen to compete for the national level for poster-making!” While my coach continues to dote on me with her proud eyes, my mom looks at me with full of disappointment.

I wanted Ms. Monzon to leave, at the same time, I do not want her to. If she stays, she will notice all the emotions my mother has been trying to hide, and the secrets I have never chosen to tell anyone. But if she leaves, that means I have to face the music of my mom’s wrath.

I couldn’t choose.

“I guess, I have to leave now, since it is already late.”

She noticed it. And, she chose to leave.

I feel sad, but it is better this way, though. For her and for me. Who’s stranger would ever want to be involved in a family matter and who’s kid would like to show the world how she’s being scolded?

None.

“Your brother went home alone three hours ago, Alessandra,” my mom said through her gritted teeth. “You are supposed to take her of him and help him do better at school, but you chose to be greedy and covet things for yourself.” She said in an almost whisper, but I can still hear her irritation. My relatives have been one by one passing through the sala to go to the dining hall, and my mom know better than to embarrass herself in front of her in laws.

“We are still not done, yet.” She said as she walked to the hallway, perturbingly.

Mom has been trying so hard to please my grandparents, uncles and aunties. She told me that she was not supposed to marry my father, so she purposely tried to get pregnant with me which has still irked them up until now. It was not because she came from a poor family, but her seemingly brazen and entitled attitude which always got her into trouble made her an unlikable daughter-in-law for the most.

Up until now, I still hear stories about her past mistakes being whispered in the farthest parts of the dining table, and the corners of the maid’s quarter. Despite trying so hard to redeem herself, she was still the bratty girl who forced herself to a respectable bachelor.

As I sit upon the dreaded dining hall, I feel my face and seat heating up. Their gazes are all directed at me as if they have seen all of my soul’s dirtiest sins.

“How’s school, Alessandra?” asked Aunt Barbara.

She is finesse in every way. Some might say that she is the best daughter-in-law my parents ever had. She is smart, rich, and classy. She was never caught in any scandals, unlike my mom. But the truth is, she is behind every misfortune my mom has been through. A fact every one seemingly chose to ignore. None of us kids no why do they have a bad blood between each other, but the side glances of the elders tell me that they have also been involved with it, too.

“I – “

“I have heard from your mom that you went home late today. Why is that?”

“I have been in a competition.” I tried so hard to finish my sentence.

“Oh, a competition! That’s news!” She sarcastically feigned shock. “Did you win?” She continued to play with her wine as she pries on why I was late. She wanted me to fear her, just like every one else in the family.

“I was chosen as the champion for the science fair and I will also compete for the nationals in the arts!” I said proudly in hopes that she would stop asking me like a hungry lion lurking around my cage, waiting for an opportunity to attack. She raised on of her eyebrows at my sudden burst of confidence. Just when I thought that she would finally stop harassing me, my mom boasted,

“She is just like her father, isn’t she?”

Aunt Barbara put her wine glass down.

“Just. Like. Her. Father.” She stressed every word. “You really know, it would be such a bad idea if she ends up like you, isn’t she?” My mom scoffed. Her patience has long been thinning since the moment I came home. Sooner or later, she would walk out of here – an action that wouldn’t be so helpful for anyone in my family. I just couldn’t understand why does Aunt Barbara have to do this every single time in the dining table. And why does everyone choose to stay quiet every single time this happens. She is obviously in the wrong. She is disrespectful towards my mom!

“Why do you hate my, mom?” I said in an accusing tone.

That’s it. I pulled the trigger. The wrong word everyone has been waiting before all hell breaks loose.

“Alessandra!” My father said in a reprimanding voice.

“Alessandra, dear. I do not hate your mom. That’s ridiculous.” She seems to be in shock for quite some time, but her voice is still laced with poison.

“Actually, she might be the one who hates me. Seeing how she tried to paint me in your head.” Now, Aunt Barbara really has shown her clause. The already awkward ambience earlier has intensified. It cannot be reverted back by another topic.

Being in a lot of family dinners, I know that being confronted like this is something that adults hate.

It is really ironic how they wanted us to tell the truth whenever they ask us about it, yet they are often the first one to cower when it is their turn.

“Enough! You two should both mind your attitude in front of the kids. They are already picking things up for you.” My grandfather said with finality. And just when I thought the I would be scolded, he continued, “And Alessandra, do not be disrespectful like your mom.” My jaw fell in shock. It was Aunt Barbara who started it. My mom never tried to attack Aunt Barbara, and I just tried to defend my mom. How could –

I felt my eyes welling up. It wasn’t my fault. Why do I have to be scolded?

I even won the competition for them and this is all I get?

It is so unfair.

I tried hard to eat my food in front of me as tears continue to roll down my cheeks. My other relatives sighed in discomfort. Great, just great. Now, they wouldn’t drop the topic.

“Tsk! Now, you made Alessandra cry.” My grandmother tried to coo me. “You even scold her.” She slapped the arm of my grandfather. “She just won a competition. That was a hard feat!” she said as she scolds everyone.

“Manang, please bring me the buko pandan I just made earlier.”

“Woooow.” All my cousin’s cheered, lightening up the atmosphere.

“Gimme, grammy!”

“No, Alessandra gets to have first!” For a while, I felt special. The treatment that I have long been waiting to feel – the favorite.