Chapter 4

I jump as the hot oil splatter to the dorsal of my palm. That was when I realized I was lost in thought and someone had been at my door. I turn off the gas and rinse my hands in the kitchen sink to get to the door.

"Giana Doxon. Don't tell me you went to the club last night without me!" She rests her palm on her hips dramatically.

I ignore my best friend and engulf her in a hug pleased to see her. I hug her long enough for her to be worried because no, I never was and I'm not a lover of hugs. The last time I hugged her this long was when I lost my sister.

"Start spilling what the problem is and it better not be Cole."

I pull away and blink away my tears, turning to quickly clean them as I walk back to the kitchen to grab a jar of cookies and yogurt, no longer feeling the need to eat food. I shouldn't have bothered cooking in the first place.

"No... I mean yes, it's Cole, but kind of a different situation." I chuckle but it did a poor job at making me look better.

"I would hate to hear about him but tell me."

"I'm pregnant," I announce to her. I watched her expression drop to a blank one like she was trying to process what I had just said. I watch her with a fake smile, not knowing how else to express myself. I didn't want to look sad about it because it was a decision I had made myself to sleep with him in the past but at the same time, I didn't look like a woman who was happy about having a baby on the way.

"I didn't quite get you."

She did. I know she did. "I'm pregnant."

Her eyes widened and she asked me a question we both knew the answer to. "Who's the father?" She asked like she didn't already know.

I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly as I bite on the cookie. Before I know it, she rushes to me, engulfing me in a hug. "Oh, Gia." So sad. Her voice was sad and I wondered if she felt pity for me. That was when my tears slid down my cheeks.

I wanted to be strong...but I was going to be a mother.

I remembered my father's words 'Your profound love would be the cause of your death Gianna.' He had told me this several times but said it again to me the night my sister had died and yet I was kind and loving enough to forgive the mother of one of my sister's kidnappers who got caught. Her son was at fault not her. I couldn't vent my anger on her.

Now I had forsaken his words and my life was about to take a turn. I wondered if this pregnancy would be the death of me as my father had warned or if it would be the source of my happiness again. Happiness I had lost after that night I was left to be the only daughter of my father.

Nellie pulls away from me and cleans my tears. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I nodded. I do. I want to let it all out and know all that is within me is a developing baby.

I began telling her what had happened last week as she joined me to eat my cookies. Listening carefully and giving me different expressions now and then to different parts. She listened and ate like she was in the cinema eating popcorn and watching a mystery movie.

She was engrossed and giving me all ears. Exactly what I needed. No words just a listening ear.

I tell her everything from the time I left the club thinking about how betrayed I felt to the time when I helped an injured woman to the hospital and found out I was pregnant in the process.

"Jeez, Gia. You don't even know the lady."

"It was unfortunate what happened to her but that's not the issue now, Nellie. I'm having a baby. I can't go back to Cole. I don't deserve such a fate. Don't you think so, Nellie?" She says nothing and drinks from the yogurt can, looking at me over it like she's not too sure about what I had done. "Tell me I'll be doing good, Nellie. Tell me I'll make the right choice by hiding this pregnancy from Cole."

"Hiding this pregnancy from Cole will be good, in the sense, that you don't want you guys back together but your child, you would be denying him or her a father's love."

"My child doesn't have to know. He doesn't have to know. I'll give him or her a loving father and me, a loving husband."

"What if Cole finds out."

"There's no way, Nellie. It's impossible."

"How long do you plan to hide it? I mean, I'm totally in no support of Cole but I'm thinking of your child. You are yet to be steady and he's rich. Fucking rich."

"My baby doesn't entirely need money. I could always work hard and provide that. What my baby needs is love and I don't want my baby growing up to see her father and mother being apart, cause the man she looks up to cheated on her mother." I was breathless after what I just said and it stung so bad, that the man I'd been dating wasn't the epitome of a good father or loving husband.

"And your father, Gia?" She asked.

I opened my mouth to talk but then shut it, thinking of my father.

I hated the way her words made me feel regret but she was being truthful. So truthful I can't deny or prove any of her words a lie. I wanted her to be honest with me and damn, she is way too honest for my liking.

"He doesn't have to know. I'll tell him I have a business for as long as I'm bearing this child then I'll go home and then. . ."

"And then what?. . .Come back?. . ."

"Okay, I'm done with your honesty and you making me rue something that can't be undone because as much as it bothers me, there's no going back." I move to stand but she stops me.

"Go home, Gia."

"How will I face him?" I blink at her and sniff.

"Go home. You need your family in times like this."

"I need you more, Nellie," I swear. I need anything but my unsupportive dad in times like this or my runaway mother and her son. They were family, I can't deny but they aren't as encouraging as Nellie here.

"They might not have been the best in the past but who knows, a grandfather or grandmother's love might be different from the father and mother you've come to know. I would love to see the grandfather side of that man. I'm curious, aren't you?" She smiles widely like she's imagining it already.

I laugh, now seeing reasons to go back home. It's so far away. I can't believe I'm going back after a month. I planned to stay in Canada for more than five years after I was sent here by Dad for safety reasons. Now I have no choice but to go back home where the pain all began. "Fine, I'll go."

"Yayy. When do we leave?"

"You choose. I'm not in the right state of mind to do so." I groan and stand. "I suddenly feel my appetite again. I should cook for us."

"Hey, Gia." I turn to her just before I enter the kitchen. "You'll make a great mum." She smiles and instead of reciprocating it, I suddenly feel an urge to cry. I strode to her and hugged her from over the head of the sofa.

"Thank you, Nellie." I sniff. She chuckles and rubs my back.

"I would have advised you to blame any strange man cause, unfortunately, your ex would make an asshole out of a dad." She says when we pull away.

"Thank God you don't give the worst advice, but I might consider." I chuckle and walk away from her to the kitchen, cleaning my tears on the way.

Just before I started cooking from where I had stopped, I placed my hand on my stomach for the first time since I left the hospital, suddenly feeling a connection between me and my baby. "I'll be a great mum to you," I promise.

My baby.