chapter 3

DAISY

My hands were dripping with sweat, and I'm sure Hope could feel it. My cheeks were burning, and I could sense the flushed crimson covering them. It wasn't helping that my heart was erratically beating, and therefore my breathing had become more laboured.

I hadn't been attracted to a man since before Robert, and after what he did - and leaving only six months ago - I didn't think I had it in me to gain heart palpitations from the sight of a man because I thought he was attractive, and not because I was scared of him. But the hot, huge, muscly man standing behind me had shifted something inside me, and now my sex was aching for him to take a step closer so I could feel his hard muscles against my back. Or more.

I swallowed as I realised what I was feeling, and how unrealistic it was.

Even if I was that attracted to him, I could never become intimate and trust a man ever again.

My trust in men has been betrayed - corrupted even - and I can't get close without fearing mine and Hopes life.

I had to protect us both - mainly her - from all the darkness in this world. She couldn't be anymore tainted than she already is from being the daughter of a monster. So, I couldn't let him near me.

I kept my eyes focused on Hope as I waited for our drinks, and mentally slapped myself when I looked up to meet his gaze.

His Icy blue eyes were watching me with such intensity and curiosity, it sent a shiver down my spine.

I could see the hurt and loneliness behind them too. Maybe I'd become acquainted to it as I had that same look in my eyes every time I looked in the mirror. I just hoped he didn't see it in me, like I did him.

I turned my eyes abruptly to stop the mutual gaze, and I could see him stalking over to me from the corner of my eyes.

My heart had just upped its pace, quickening past the pace it should be at. My chest tightened, and here was the familiar terrifying feeling I had when men got close. Only what scared me more in particular about this was the reason I was scared. My body had automatically taken trust in this strange - but hot - man, and I was more scared of not being able to pursue my interest in him. The irony made no sense, and I decided on trying to ignore his presence as he stood next to me; his elbow slightly touching mine.

I gulped. Loudly, and clearly.

He could sense my inner reaction, and decided to take it as a sign he could speak to me.

"Nate." He held his hand out, and it took me a while to realise he had spoken.

His deep, rough voice sent a wave of heat through my body, and hit me right in my core. I averted my eyes to his, and then to his hand before slowly placing my shaking, sweaty palm into his.

"Daisy." I gave him a warm smile in response too.

Brushing his fingers across mine, he slipped his hand back to his side giving me a sexy smirk.

It was then that I had the chance to take in his manly features of intentional stubble across his face, and the hard jaw line that could cut with its sharp edge. Just like it was cutting straight through to me, and making my whole body shake.

His hair was a chocolate brown, and naturally tousled; it added to the sexy aura he was portraying through the rest of his features. 

"Who's this little beauty down here?"

His eyes averted to Hope, and she stood smiling with all her teeth on full display. I let out a soft giggle at her cuteness, and realised I hadn't introduced her yet.

"Hope, my daughter."

"She's gorgeous, just like her mother."

He watched for my reaction before addressing Hope, and he could definitely see how affected I was; I had my mouth slightly parted in shock, and I was speechless.

I couldn't do this. He didn't need my problems. I was not risking his life because of my jaded one.

"Hey, Hope." He knelt down and she hid behind my leg.

Refusing defeat, he decided to try again.

I admired his effort with her, he clearly was besotted with her - but then she is beautiful. I just couldn't do this. I wasn't about to let him get too close, and I could see his clear intentions.

After trying to make Hope laugh, and talks about children's TV programmes to her (how he knew them I have no clue) she decided to talk to him.

"What are you and mommy doing after this?"

Her little mouth twisted up in thought, and she tapped her chin. Something I do to her when I'm pretending to think.

"The park!"

"Well that sounds exciting doesn't it."

"Do you like the park too?" Her eyes were hopeful as she waited for his answer.

"Yeah I love them!" His enthusiasm was cute. She couldn't stop smiling at him.

I was in awe of the scene playing out in front of me, but I still wasn't letting him get past being my acquaintance.

How did I know he wasn't going to hurt me? How could I trust him to protect me and my daughter? Robert was a gentleman and turned into a monster, what if he did too?

It was then that I realised I had gotten too close. Too comfortable with this man. I started to panic, and when the lady brought our drinks over I picked them up, put Hope's in my bag, and walked out the shop with a quiet bye.

When I got out the coffee shop my heart was beating so fast, my chest tightened, and I knew this feeling. This was the fear.

The fear of being destroyed and broken all over again. The fear that my daughter might not be safe. The fear that all men are the same and will hurt me just like Robert did.

When I was pregnant with Hope, Robert had been cruel for the four months prior to finding out.

Once I no longer had a job, induced forcefully by Robert, I was alone majority of the day until he would come home.

I knew as soon as I hit maternity leave I wasn't going to step foot back in that place. He was a manipulative, persuasive man. He always got his way. This was one thing I couldn't fight. Once he threatened me the way he did, and acted on it, I knew I had to give in. It was either succumb to his wants, or lose my baby. I wasn't losing my baby so I had no choice to take his offer. I was blackmailed into keeping my baby safe. Without me she would never of survived with him.

An instant flashback took over as I remembered the day I made the mistake of saying I wanted to go back to work.

Two years ago:

Hope had been here for months now. She was exactly eleven months old, and my maternity leave would be up as soon as she turned one. So I only had a month left.

Robert hadn't touched me for two weeks, so maybe I was feeling extra confident, but I took the chance to mention my views on going back to work anyway.

I walked into the lounge, my feet silently tapping the floor, and stood before him. He was dressed head to toe in business wear. A charcoal grey suit, crisp white shirt, and a simple black tie. Even his grey argyle socks screamed business.

"Yes, Daisy?"

He even spoke to me like I was a business associate. His PA who did all his dirty work, albeit I did, I wasn't his employee. Another way he made me feel small.

"My maternity leave is nearly up, so I would like to go back to work. I know you said I didn't need to, but I -"

Suddenly his left hand fisted my hair, almost pulling the strands from their roots. I cried out in pain, tears stinging just like my head.

I didn't even see him move, he was lightning about to cause havoc on me.

"Ow, R-Robert. You're hurting me."

"Exactly. I said you didn't need to go back to work. Yet you chose to disobey me anyway, and ask." He spoke through gritted teeth, his face pushed against mine. His eyes bored into me, waiting for me to signal I agreed with him.

When I didn't straight away, his right hand came into contact with my left cheek. The slap was generous compared to his usual fist. It still hurt nevertheless. My face was on fire, and I couldn't decide what felt worse; my head or my cheek. The intense, powerful smack would definitely leave a mark. I could already feel it bruising.

"If you do decide to disobey me further, and go back, you can say goodbye to your precious daughter. I have a lot of power Daisy, don't underestimate it sweetheart." His voice was clam, but cruel. I didn't need to ask what he meant; I knew. I knew the things he could do to take her away, and I couldn't let that happen. He would ruin her.

"Okay I won't go back. I'm sorry." I trembled against him, begging inside for him to release me.

"Good." His calm words contradicted his actions as he pushed me against the glass coffee table causing my hip to go straight into the corner. The pain took my breath away. He didn't even look back, he ignored my cries of pain and left the house for work; slamming the door behind him.