chapter 7

NATE

My heart had officially broken for a stranger.

It had been two days since I met Daisy, and two days since I witnessed her have an ultimate breakdown in the bar after I grabbed her arm.

I didn't mean to scare her, hell I didn't even grab her that hard. My fingers barely grasped her tiny arm, yet she flinched. She actually jumped from my touch. It was like an electrical current had sparked her body; scaring her, and preparing her for unexpected death.

I couldn't understand why she had jumped so frantically. My thoughts were consumed by the frightened look on her angelic features. The fear I saw in her eyes that morning had spread like tree branches taking over her whole face. Her lips were trembling. Her face was white, and hard as stone.

I swallowed the bile in my throat as I imagined her reaction again for the fiftieth time this morning.

My heart had jumped straight out of my body when she reacted that way, and I was desperate for answers. Why would my touch scare her so much?

I had never had that impact on somebody, and I had never seen a woman react like that over something so small and innocent.

This only verified my fears that her past is more dark than it should be. More troubled than anyone should be, and hurt in a way no one should be.

Amanda had told me to leave her when she ran out of the bar, as this was her personal way of dealing with her panic attacks. That phrase made me shiver. I have never had one, but my mother used to suffer with them for years. She used to think she was experiencing a heart attack, and would phone an ambulance almost every time. That would break me every time I saw her have one, or knew she'd had one that day. So seeing Daisy so scared, and panicked made my chest tighten. For a while I forgot about the trigger that had caused it, and was more concerned with following Amanda to check on her. My concern for her was much higher than it should be for a stranger, but there was something about her that I desperately wanted to explore.

Amanda said that there were things I didn't know about her once I explained how we'd met that morning. Apparently she hadn't said anything, but she hadn't give her chance to yet. She also went on to explain that her running away was to do with her own personal life, and that she just needed to learn to trust again. That word has one meaning, but can mean anything all at the same time.

Trust me because she's been cheated on? Trust me because someone failed to keep her safe?

Trust me because she was hurt?

The latter made my insides rage. If she had been hurt - physically - I don't even know what I'd do. I just wished she would talk to me, and let me get to know her. Even if we were just friends. She clearly needed protecting, and I was willing to do just that.

"Mr Clarke?"

Harriet poked her head around the door, and waited for my response.

"Yes, Harriet?"

"I just wanted to let you know you had some mail today"

Mail? I never got mail unless it was something to do with my products, and this sounded too personal.

"What do you mean?"

"Well there's a letter - hand written by the looks of it."

Who would personally write me a letter?

"Okay just leave It on my desk, thank you Harriet."

She place the letter down, and I recognised the writing instantly. My brother, Astra.

We didn't talk. In fact, I'd say we wouldn't even consider ourselves brothers. You see, the man Sheila had an affair with was Astra. Two years they had been fucking each other behind my back. Two years of hiding a huge secret from me. Two years of breaking all loyalties, and trust with his own brother.

The thought that he could do that to me made my skin crawl, and I tossed the letter across the room. It landed on the floor not far from my desk, and I eyed it for a few minutes until deciding to open it.

Personally, I don't want to hear what he has to say, but a part of me is still intrigued to know what bullshit he's written down for me.

Only he hadn't written it. He'd typed it. Photographed it. Dated it, and signed it.

A wedding invitation.

Him and Sheila were getting married.

My heart stopped, and I ripped the glossy paper into a million pieces. This felt like my heart had been stabbed repetitively.

I didn't love Sheila anymore, but five years, and finding out she'd been in love with your own brother for two of them? Yeah that's enough to make anyone feel hurt at the sight of her.

All my rage had been shifted to full blown anger, and I wanted to kick myself for letting this get to me. I shouldn't care, but betrayal like that scarred me. Left me damaged in a way no one could fix.

Except Daisy.

Something about her made me want to trust again, and believe in true love.

It was then that I decided I'd had enough of moping around, and needed to find out the truth, or at least persuade her into a date.

Just where do you find a delicate little flower like that when you don't know her address?

_______

DAISY

Two days since my complete, and utter melt down in front of Nate.

Two days since I'd seen him, and met him. And two days I'd spent reeling over my actions towards him.

This man had reimbursed feelings I didn't even think existed in me anymore, and had hit me right in my head, heart, and sex.

He irrevocably rocked my whole world. I used to say Robert did that, but now I'd say Nate has. Only Nate has made it better. Despite being cold towards him, and not giving him a chance, he's gave me hope of happiness.

I honestly never thought I could trust a man again, or feel attracted to one, but Nate has had the complete opposite on me.

I'm still scared to take a chance on him. Scared that my heart might break, or he just might turn into Robert. No matter what, I'll always feel that way until I get to know someone.

A part of me wishes I had just overcome my fears, and flirted with him in the coffee shop. Showed him how my body was reacting to his every word, and I definitely wished I hadn't reacted the way I did at the bar. I just know deep down that I can't be normal like that.

I wanted him to confront me in the bar. I wanted him to speak to me. Despite knowing what he would say, I wanted him to because I liked his attention. It hurts to know I can't ever have a normal relationship because of my damaged life.

I'd been sat thinking about all of this while I watched Hope on the park. The only thing she liked was the slide, so I sat back and let her play independently. My eyes never left her little frame, and despite all this thinking, I was focused solely on her. Some of the other parents were chatting away not even watching their children properly, and I could never do that. The thought of someone taking her, or hurting her, made my gut sicken. She was too precious, and important to take that risk.

It took me a while to notice the heavy body sat next to me on the bench. It wasn't until he spoke that I knew who it was. But I still didn't take my eyes off Hope. I couldn't. Besides, I don't think I could look him in the eyes after Saturday evening. I'm too embarrassed.

"I didn't know where I could find you at first." He began.

"And then I thought about all the parks around here that you could possibly be at. There's three to be exact. So I looked for the one nearest to the coffee shop, and took my chances."

I still hadn't looked at him. His explanation helped ease my nerves, as I automatically worried he was following me because he was a stalker.

Another one of my fears from my past.

"You found me,"

I didn't mean to sound negative, or nasty, but what else could I say?

No matter how much my body responded to him, and wanted him. No matter how much I wanted to let him give me company, flirt with him, and allow myself to fall for him, I couldn't.

My fears would only ruin us. Destroy us completely, and I wasn't about to corrupt an innocent person like I had been.

"I like you, Daisy."

I swallowed. I knew that, but I didn't expect him to say it.

My silence, and ignorance must of been frustrating him as he said, "are you not going to look at me at least?"

"No. I'm keeping my eyes on my daughter."

I saw him watch her from the corner of my eyes, and saw as he shifted to kneel in front of me.

"Your so beautiful."

He placed his hand on my cheek, and i trembled. Not because he scared me, but because his words ignited a flutter of butterflies inside me, and I was too afraid to indulge in them. To allow him to treat me so well.

The tears were falling before I felt them, and I felt him rub his thumb across them. He didn't say a word, he just watched as I fell apart under his touch.

"Tell me."

"No." I shook my head, and the words were barely a whisper. Did he really think I'd tell him like that? Tell him why I was sat crying after he called me beautiful? He was wrong. So wrong.

"Whatever I did to upset you, I'm sorry. Please let me take you for dinner. We don't have to be alone, a public place?"

His proposal meant he sensed the imbedded truth I was hiding.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to say no, but I couldn't say yes.

"Here's my number," he placed a tiny piece of paper in my hand, "call me if you want to go for dinner. We can even take Hope with us if you like?"

He let out a breath, and stood up.

"Just let me know, please. Bye Daisy."

I hadn't looked at him. Not once. Until now. I took my eyes off hope for one second to watch his muscly, huge frame walk away from me.

I was holding onto the piece of paper in my hand like it was my whole life. Like it was Hopes life. I kept it curled under my fist, as I thought about what to do.

I placed it in the pocket of my shoulder bag, and collected Hope from the slide.

"Let's go and see auntie Amanda shall we sweetie?"

"Yes mommy! Can we get ice cream too please?"

"Maybe baby girl, let's go see Amanda first."

"Okay mommy."

She tugged my hand, as I protected her tiny one, and we walked back to the car. I only hoped Amanda could talk some sense into me, and tell me I could date somebody again. Somebody as nice as Nate.

----

Once we arrived at Amanda's she tried to tempt me into a bottle of wine - not a glass, a bottle. As much as I'd love to drown my thoughts, and hide even more, I couldn't. One, I had to drive me and my daughter home as well as look after her; and two, I needed to face my thoughts. I couldn't keep running.

"So, he's asked you out for dinner, and gave you his number?"

"Yes. God the man even said I could bring Hope, Mandy."

I already knew my expression was a defeated, helpless look. How could I say no to that? The man cared so much he was willing to have my daughter with us on a date.

"Oh Daisy honey," she sighed, and shook her head smiling.

"Say yes."

"How can I know I won't get hurt."

"You don't," she shrugged.

"But I tell you now, that man cares about you. He doesn't know you and he cares."

She sighed, and looked away before saying the next bit.

"Honey, he's not Robert. Not all men are the same, and I hate to bring this up to you with it being so raw, but something tells me he's going to treat you how you should be treated."

"I want to say yes." I gulped and looked down from her gaze.

"I want to explore the way he makes me feel when I'm next to him. I want to let him take care of me, and protect me, and love me. I sound obsessive" I scoffed at the last part.

"You don't, you sound like a normal person with a crush. Take the chance sweetie please."

And on that I took the number out my bag, and made my decision