The rattling of my doorknob stopped me just shy of placing the earbuds in my ears and cranking up the volume. Quick as I could, I stashed the iPod back into its hiding place then reached for the French workbook that lay on my nightstand. If it was Mother, she was usually content to leave me to my schoolwork. Sometimes it was even enough to stay her hand when she was in an otherwise foul mood.
It was Matt. He stuck his head in, giving only the shortest of cursory glances before his eyes landed on me. “Mom said you need to get the door.”
It was all I could do to keep the look of incredulity from my face. Last I’d seen her, she was downstairs and in a better position to see who’d stopped by. The realisation left me considering that it may have been someone she was actively avoiding. In such a circumstance, she would never expose Matt to such unscrupulous individuals, but I was expendable. There was no harm in putting me on the front lines to clear
The three of us made our way to the table, Matt leading the charge as he often did. It must have been nice, having the confidence that whenever a meal was served it would be nourishing and have no lasting effects. There was never any fear when he sat, only anticipation for the warm meal so lovingly cooked he could almost taste our mother’s heart mixed in with the spices.Mom signalled my place at the table, the seat facing hers where she could look me in the eyes and watch me succumb to whatever trap she’d set. There was no point in protesting, no reason to raise an alarm. It was poisoned, I was nearly certain, but I’d still eat it. The alternative was offending her by refusing her food and that only ever made things worse. I would have to suffer through it with grace for the sake of our guest.I took the first bite.It didn’t taste bad; it never did. "Kai, are you alright?” Jayden asked, momentarily breaking from the
With all my energy focused on maintaining my composure, I chose to ignore his comments altogether. To think my family was anything shy of malevolent was a delusion I’d grown accustomed to. Mom was a good actress; it was how she avoided what would otherwise have been an insurmountable amount of child endangerment charges. Matt, while not so adept at playing different roles, was still baby-faced and excitable. It made it easier for people to forgive him, no matter the offense.I watched him pull his phone from his pocket, the latest model. Why wasn’t I surprised? It made sense he’d have only the best of everything with the way he carried himself."Shoot, can’t believe it’s that late already. Sorry, I
My head shot upward immediately and I saw him climbing over the wall that separated this stall from the one he’d entered. In the midst of my absolute horror, I found myself wondering who’d designed the bathrooms in the first place. Evidently someone who was beyond the idea that a boy would one day sneak in to see a girl he had no business wanting around; a vast oversight in my opinion.Jayden jumped down into the stall then turned to face me.I buried my face in my lap instantly. With the barrier of the door and walls no longer viable, it was my last line of defence.“I told you to go away,” I mumbled, half the words
The panic rose quickly, threatening to close off my airways unless I took large breaths. If Jayden got in trouble, it would be my fault. He’d asked me to leave the bathroom with him; we could’ve found somewhere else to hide while I decided how much I was really willing to share. My problems, what happened the night before, it wasn't worth getting caught; not like this.“Look, I know you’re in here. I gotta clean so make it quick.” Silence. “Hello? I can hear you breathing in there.”The door stopped rattling and the footsteps went off in the opposite direction.“Rotten kids.” Seconds later, I heard the door to the bathroom open then close."We have to move," Jayden whispered.He helped me over the wall separating us from the other stall before himself climbing over. We made it three stalls down before the door opened again. Jayden and I pulled ourselves up onto the toilet, removing our feet from
Jayden breathed a shaky sigh of relief as he exited. Whether he would admit it or not, he was rattled and incredibly grateful Jonie had shown up when she did—possibly at his request. It made the most sense, after all. Jonie and I had French this period and there was another bathroom, one much closer to room 56 than the one in which we hid. It seemed collecting data wasn’t the only business she attended to on behalf of the president and, had I not been so rattled myself I’d have pried deeper into this orchestrated rescue mission.Jonie re-entered the stall and got to work quickly. She fished a small makeup kit from a hidden inside pocket of her hoodie and ordered me to have a seat. Confused, I did as I was told and the girl worked her mysterious magic. Minutes, later, she pulled me carefully to the mirror and ordered me to have a quick look—reassurance I was pleased with her work and would be willing to move on. She was a miracle worker, a fact I found
Jayden turned to me, noting the hurt that hadn’t left my eyes.He sighed deeply. "What choice do I have?"“No, no, I get it,” I said, cringing at the way my own voice sought to betray me with its unsteady crackling. “You worked hard for your position and I—you asked me to leave the bathroom before we—”“Kai, what? This has nothing to do with my position.”“What then? Me?” Impossible. “Look, you don’t have to worry about me. Worst case, they'll call my mom. She'll knock me around a bi—""No.""No what?""No. Any chance I get to protect you from your mother, I’m taking it. If I’d left when you asked me to, this wouldn’t have happened. I’m just as much to blame for it and won’t have you hurt because of my actions a second time.""But I don't want you and her—" I stopped myself. I wouldn’t be getting through
A tangible silence descended on the hall, creeping into the bones of all present. Instinctively, we all knew to set our gazes to the top of the hall where Carmen appeared in all her president-stealing glory. The girl strutted down the hall with her head above the clouds. She was on top of the world, soaring from the attention her little manoeuvre had brought. The shameless smirk set on her lips told everyone how little she cared about the potential consequences of her actions. I didn’t matter—not even Erin mattered. The girl had gotten her prize and wouldn’t let the envy of others bring her down.On the contrary, it propelled her higher.Her friend, Jessie, hurried over to her, whispering something we had no hope of hearing. Like the prying eyes that chased her down the hall, Carmen ignored the girl’s words. She’d slept with the student body president himself; nothing anyone said would ruin her day.“And we thought you were getting ahead of yourself,” Lara said, coming to a stop by Ha
Minutes trickled by with the three of us sitting in what had become an uncomfortable silence. I didn’t know what to say and Jonie seldom saw the need for words. It was Carmen’s approach with another girl in tow that finally broke the unintended standoff.“Carmen said you slept together—there’s no way, right? Friday night? Were you really at her house?”It was the first time Jayden lifted his gaze since taking a seat at the table and it was to stare daggers at the girl who’d continued to inflate her own standing among girls who would kill to be in her position.“Are you planning to go around telling everyone?” he asked.“You never said I couldn’t tell my friends. Guys sleep around and talk all the time. Why shouldn’t I?”He set to respond, his expression darkening to something unrecognisable, but before he could, the intercom went off.“Attention, will Jayden Pryce and Carmen Phillips report to the principal’s office immediately? I repeat, Jayden Pryce and Carmen Phillips.”Jayden got
“There’s…there’s something I need to tell you.” I only needed the courage to find the words.Jayden’s brows creased as he took me in. “What is it…?”“You’ll be angry.”“I won’t.”“You can’t promise that; you don’t even know what it is…”“And you can’t be sure I will be until you’ve told me and given me a chance to react.”We sat at a silent stalemate as several minutes trickled by. I knew he was patiently waiting for whatever bad news I would spring, and I knew it would hurt him. The fear I harboured had nothing to do with ending the new fairytale I’d taken on and everything to do with the hesitation I felt following everything he’d done for me and now my brother.He didn’t deserve what I’d done, and it had been all for naught. I never got pregnant and didn’t h
Three weeks later, my brother and I dutifully attended our mother’s funeral. There were only a handful of people in attendance and even then, they were mostly family. The genuine friends my mother had made were no more than a handful and only one of them shed any tears.Aunt Rebecca was the only immediate family member to cry with even Nana maintaining a wall of stoicism while the pastor carried on with his final sermon. I didn’t hear most of his words. My eyes locked on the casket waiting to be lowered with a detached sense of disbelief. At any moment, it would open, and my mother would come out barking her laughter at all the fools who’d thought a single bullet would be enough to keep her from her children. She would hug Matt and promise she would never leave him then offer me a plastic smile as she assured me we would talk about it all when we got home.I’d spent the better part of the earlier service with my eyes fixed on the woman while the
It was another seven minutes before the paramedics arrived and when they did, there was a race against time to get me stable. I’d already lost too much blood and kept slipping in and out of consciousness. I learned later that the police had also been called but in the haze I’d fallen into, I couldn’t say when they arrived on our usually quiet street.I was loaded into the ambulance with my brother and an officer accompanying us. It was Detective Charles, the man who’d promised my mother he would find out the truth about her ex-husband’s sudden, tragic death. He didn’t know what to make of the scene he’d come onto but knew there was a deep well that buried secrets so dark that two children had no business holding onto them.Conversations carried on around me, but they were too muffled by my fading consciousness for me to hear. The next time I awoke, I was on a hospital bed with my brother asleep on the chair that sat in the corn
“No!” I answered quickly. I hurried to hold the note I’d written up for her to see but she gave it only the shortest of cursory glances before pulling back then throwing her entire weight into the smack she landed on my cheek. The force sent me toppling to the ground faster than I could right myself and by then, she’d begun kicking.“I bet you think you’ve found something, huh? HUH? Think you’ve got the upper hand now; that you can blackmail me because of what you’ve seen? Do you know who I am, little girl? Don’t you know that I will kill you?”I shook my head frantically as I curled into a protective ball. “I didn’t—I didn’t see anything, I swear!”“Don’t fucking lie to me!” Her next kick landed in my face, causing blood to gush from my nose.“I won’t say anything; I won’t, I promise!”“I shoul
I set to decline Adam's offer but, in a flash, he was on his feet pulling on his own pants. “The bus might be a while. I don’t want you standing out by the bus stop waiting for however long.” He pulled for his shirt and slipped it on. “You hungry? We can hit up a drive-thru on the way.”The rumbling of my stomach betrayed any answer I could’ve given. Adam nodded his understanding then led the way from the house. He got me my usual off the menu then dropped me off in front of my house.Adam had tried to fill the ride with small talk, in what appeared on the surface to be a sincere interest in catching up, but I’d already begun to shut down. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to feel, to see, to be.“Hey,” he said as I set to walk away from his car. “Remember what I said, alright? I’m here for you.”I nodded, seeing no need to argue and not wanting to prolong the conversat
I swallowed my pride, understanding the role I would have to play. It wasn’t an unfamiliar one and would require no great effort for me to slip into. I dropped the pitch of my voice, forcing it into a sultry invitation I knew he wouldn’t refuse.“Your pay’s built into this favour.” I hated myself.Adam pulled away to look at me, his eyes glistening hungrily. “I’m listening.”I took a deep breath to steady myself. “Emily’s…dead.”“Who?”A surge of hot anger rose in me at his ignorance, but I was forced to swallow it. Adam’s lack of knowledge was in large part my fault. I’d never allowed him to meet her, nor had I ever told him anything about her. She may as well had been a stranger to him—as she truly was—and in that moment, I realised the small stake he had in the decision I’d made…how…insignificant my plight was been for
“Hey, Kai.” Madelyn stopped me on my way down the hall. “Wait up.”Reluctantly, I brought my feet to a halt then offered her a forced smile. “Hey.”She began rummaging through her bag as she drew closer before pulling out a pastel pink toddler shirt with a crown printed on the front. Madelyn extended it to me with a sheepish smile. “I saw this when my mom took me shopping and I thought…you know…it’d look really cute on your daughter. It’s probably a little big; we didn’t know her size, but she’ll grow into it, right?”I didn’t think I had any heart left until I felt another piece of it break off. She wasn’t wrong, Emily would have looked amazing in it, but she would never have a chance to grow into it, nor would she ever wear it.The strained smile I’d been forcing dissolved. A lump lodged itself into the back of my throat requiring me to take several m
I considered writing him a note asking that he take care of them, but much like everything else, it didn’t matter. What would I care if he ripped through my room like the Tasmanian Devil after I was gone?The air inside my mother’s room was still. It was the first I’d been in there—the first I’d been in any of her rooms since my father left. Matt was welcome to cuddle and watch movies from time to time, but never me. There was an air of reverence that came with the subtle warning I shouldn’t have been there. I was walking on holy ground as a tainted sinner. Such a transgression would normally fill me with fear but that particular feeling couldn’t have been further away.I took the time to sweep my eyes across my mother’s room. How foreign it seemed, as if I’d been transported to another world. Nothing was out of place and the bed had been well-made. The blinds were half open, allowing light into the room while blott
Uncomfortable and uncertain, the nurse returned to her desk. Seeing her whisper about me with her colleagues brought the laughter to the next level. My insides hurt from how hard I laughed, and I could feel a pressure building inside my head, but even then…I couldn’t stop laughing.Those around me grew unsettled by the persistent nature of my unprovoked laughter. One by one, they rose from the chairs closest to me and made their way to stand at the wall at the opposite end of the waiting room or by the nurse’s desk.Their evasion tickled my insides until they screamed. Those people had nothing to fear; I wasn’t the murderer.By the time I was allowed to see Jayden, the laughter had died. It was replaced by a subdued silence that stood in stark contrast to the boisterous half-cackle half-wail I’d carried on with earlier.I didn’t have the energy for it…didn’t have the energy for anything. I’d been dra