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Chapter 15 (iv)
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Jayden likely saw it as the moment for me to be spirited away to safety, but he didn’t have the first clue. There was already a plan in place; Lilia and I had been talking about it for years. I wouldn’t throw it all away on a maybe.
“I did them to myself.”
“Wha—Kai!” Jayden’s eyes widened incredulously at my statement, his disbelief all but commanding me to speak the truth.
The uniformed official sitting next to me was equally unconvinced. “Did you now?”
“I’m still a child with bouts of clumsiness and a moody teenage girl who wants to kill herself every time my boyfriend breaks up with me. What do you expect?” My mind was made up; the only thing left to do was follow through.
“It’s as I’ve told you.” Mom scooped me up into her arms, causing my muscles to tense despite my best efforts to appear at peace.
I hid my discomfort behind a mask of i
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I was discharged from the hospital two days later and returned to the care of my mother. The doctor and nurses had had their reservations but there was little any of them could do. It was a song and dance that had gone on longer than any of them could imagine, one that wouldn’t be easily disrupted by newcomers to the stage.I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, willing the hours to pass quickly so it would be morning and I would be able to return to school. After such a long absence, I found myself missing the droning voice of my history teacher and the unpleasant screech of the PA system before the morning announcements. No doubt, I’d missed out on many assignments as well and was eager to dive into them. The distraction would be good; it would spirit me away from the lingering threads of shame that r
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I turned to find Jayden had made his way over. The taunting gleam in his eyes held specks of amusement carefully woven in. He grinned that boyish grin I’d been so sure I’d never see again as he leaned against my neighbour’s locker. His stance was casual, unbothered, and cheeky with his hands resting loosely in his pockets. Jayden nodded at both girls before setting his laughing eyes on me again.For the first few seconds, it didn’t seem my lips remembered how to form words—not that that mattered. My brain had shut down at his approach, everything scrambling to achieve damage control for the boy who pretended nothing was amiss. It seemed Jayden had joined the performance and was willing to return to the way things were before we’d spoken at the hospital.
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At home, I found a dress laid out and waiting for me on my bed. The store’s tag still hung by its neck, assuring me it was neither stained nor torn in places that weren’t immediately apparent. It was made of the good material, the kind you didn’t worry would rip if you accidentally got caught against something, and the colour was a rich sapphire.I sat by the dress, marvelling at its design while I processed the fact that it was really mine. Lilia had always been a miracle worker. I hadn’t gotten a chance to tell her about the dance, but she’d found out somehow and had made sure I wouldn’t be unprepared.Matt parked himself in the doorway of my room, leaning against its frame while he too marv
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 16 (iv)
Seeking to capitalise on student intrigue, Sydney did her part in spreading embellished utterances that further stirred the students. The girl appointed herself my crown manager and pledged to throw her all into ensuring the students knew they had a choice and could exercise their rights.Back home, I lay staring at the ceiling again. I didn’t have the concentration necessary for the mountain of assignments that had been waiting for me upon my return to school, but I had no other means of passing the time in my fortress of solitude.“Kai?” Matt stood before my half open door. He nudged it fully open then took a step inside. His visits were becoming frequent affairs, and while I had no authority to demand a reas
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“I started my freshman year there. Adam was a senior; he thought I was cute. The first time we met, he pulled me under the bleachers by the track. He—” It was more difficult than I imagined it could be. This would be the first I’d spoken about it—any of it…with anyone. Hearing the words spoken aloud somehow made them more terrifying. I was transported back to the track, in the cool shade of the towering steps, with one hand on my cheek and his other crawling up my skirt. He’d been so gentle…until I said no.“I’d said no…but it didn’t matter. I cried for three weeks after but couldn’t let anyone see. After all, I was the ‘lucky freshman’ who’d caught his attention. Girls would’ve killed to be in my position&hellip
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 17 (i)
"Emi, slow down!"She wasn’t listening. All that concerned the two-year-old was running in circles around the small coffee table in the hopes I would continue the chase. Before leaving, Lilia had warned me she’d been a ball of energy all day and wasn’t likely to crash for a little while longer. I didn’t mind. I wasn’t put out by my daughter’s exuberance; her happiness didn’t cause me the kind of distress that mine invariably caused my own mother.Emily was beautiful in everything she did. Often, I marvelled at how I could bring such a perfect creature into this world after all the ugliness that resided inside me.I scooped her up when she ran by me again, too dizzy to watch her go another round. Emi burst into a fit of giggles, her feet kicking about as I suspended her from the ground. I blew raspberries into her cheek then flopped onto the couch with her in my lap. Big brown eyes smiled up at me with her now beginning t
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That was it then.I wanted to be angry, to rage the way at least three of them expected I would, but I couldn’t. A soothing balm of numbness seeped into my bones, spreading out across my body so that all but the most extreme of feelings appeared as little more than a prickle along my skin. I supposed I should’ve felt betrayed—Jayden had promised me his vote, after all—but it was too difficult a feeling to muster. The fairytale had been too good to be true from its outset. Make a story too fantastical and the audience would have a hard time believing it.This was more in line with the reality I knew; it made the most sense to me and raised no alarms. There was an odd sort of comfort in the familiar, one that softened the blow to little more than a gentle breeze.“Why?” I asked. It was better to carry on the pretence, if only in small part. I was meant to care and that required asking questions when given such news regardless of
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“You didn’t tell me another one of your little friends was stopping by,” Mom said, oblivious to the devil she’d allowed into our home. Perhaps she knew, perhaps that sort was attracted by others of a similar nature, and she knew by some sixth sense that Erin was there to ruin my evening.“I won’t be long, Mrs. Deneiro. Kai, can we talk for a sec?”No.“…sure.”I led her back to my room, the walk filled with frantic efforts to uncover what the girl had planned. Even more pressing was how she managed to get my address. Jonie was a resourceful girl who’d helped Jayden in the endeavour, but I doubted she shared any particular affinity for the girl that would provoke the same degree of helpfulness.“Good luck tonight,” I said, closing the door behind us. As was always the case, someone would need to be civil, and it would never be her.Erin wrinkled her nose as she too
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“There’s…there’s something I need to tell you.” I only needed the courage to find the words.Jayden’s brows creased as he took me in. “What is it…?”“You’ll be angry.”“I won’t.”“You can’t promise that; you don’t even know what it is…”“And you can’t be sure I will be until you’ve told me and given me a chance to react.”We sat at a silent stalemate as several minutes trickled by. I knew he was patiently waiting for whatever bad news I would spring, and I knew it would hurt him. The fear I harboured had nothing to do with ending the new fairytale I’d taken on and everything to do with the hesitation I felt following everything he’d done for me and now my brother.He didn’t deserve what I’d done, and it had been all for naught. I never got pregnant and didn’t h
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 37 (i)
Three weeks later, my brother and I dutifully attended our mother’s funeral. There were only a handful of people in attendance and even then, they were mostly family. The genuine friends my mother had made were no more than a handful and only one of them shed any tears.Aunt Rebecca was the only immediate family member to cry with even Nana maintaining a wall of stoicism while the pastor carried on with his final sermon. I didn’t hear most of his words. My eyes locked on the casket waiting to be lowered with a detached sense of disbelief. At any moment, it would open, and my mother would come out barking her laughter at all the fools who’d thought a single bullet would be enough to keep her from her children. She would hug Matt and promise she would never leave him then offer me a plastic smile as she assured me we would talk about it all when we got home.I’d spent the better part of the earlier service with my eyes fixed on the woman while the
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 36 (v)
It was another seven minutes before the paramedics arrived and when they did, there was a race against time to get me stable. I’d already lost too much blood and kept slipping in and out of consciousness. I learned later that the police had also been called but in the haze I’d fallen into, I couldn’t say when they arrived on our usually quiet street.I was loaded into the ambulance with my brother and an officer accompanying us. It was Detective Charles, the man who’d promised my mother he would find out the truth about her ex-husband’s sudden, tragic death. He didn’t know what to make of the scene he’d come onto but knew there was a deep well that buried secrets so dark that two children had no business holding onto them.Conversations carried on around me, but they were too muffled by my fading consciousness for me to hear. The next time I awoke, I was on a hospital bed with my brother asleep on the chair that sat in the corn
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 36 (iv)
“No!” I answered quickly. I hurried to hold the note I’d written up for her to see but she gave it only the shortest of cursory glances before pulling back then throwing her entire weight into the smack she landed on my cheek. The force sent me toppling to the ground faster than I could right myself and by then, she’d begun kicking.“I bet you think you’ve found something, huh? HUH? Think you’ve got the upper hand now; that you can blackmail me because of what you’ve seen? Do you know who I am, little girl? Don’t you know that I will kill you?”I shook my head frantically as I curled into a protective ball. “I didn’t—I didn’t see anything, I swear!”“Don’t fucking lie to me!” Her next kick landed in my face, causing blood to gush from my nose.“I won’t say anything; I won’t, I promise!”“I shoul
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 36 (iii)
I set to decline Adam's offer but, in a flash, he was on his feet pulling on his own pants. “The bus might be a while. I don’t want you standing out by the bus stop waiting for however long.” He pulled for his shirt and slipped it on. “You hungry? We can hit up a drive-thru on the way.”The rumbling of my stomach betrayed any answer I could’ve given. Adam nodded his understanding then led the way from the house. He got me my usual off the menu then dropped me off in front of my house.Adam had tried to fill the ride with small talk, in what appeared on the surface to be a sincere interest in catching up, but I’d already begun to shut down. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to feel, to see, to be.“Hey,” he said as I set to walk away from his car. “Remember what I said, alright? I’m here for you.”I nodded, seeing no need to argue and not wanting to prolong the conversat
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 36 (ii)
I swallowed my pride, understanding the role I would have to play. It wasn’t an unfamiliar one and would require no great effort for me to slip into. I dropped the pitch of my voice, forcing it into a sultry invitation I knew he wouldn’t refuse.“Your pay’s built into this favour.” I hated myself.Adam pulled away to look at me, his eyes glistening hungrily. “I’m listening.”I took a deep breath to steady myself. “Emily’s…dead.”“Who?”A surge of hot anger rose in me at his ignorance, but I was forced to swallow it. Adam’s lack of knowledge was in large part my fault. I’d never allowed him to meet her, nor had I ever told him anything about her. She may as well had been a stranger to him—as she truly was—and in that moment, I realised the small stake he had in the decision I’d made…how…insignificant my plight was been for
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 36 (i)
“Hey, Kai.” Madelyn stopped me on my way down the hall. “Wait up.”Reluctantly, I brought my feet to a halt then offered her a forced smile. “Hey.”She began rummaging through her bag as she drew closer before pulling out a pastel pink toddler shirt with a crown printed on the front. Madelyn extended it to me with a sheepish smile. “I saw this when my mom took me shopping and I thought…you know…it’d look really cute on your daughter. It’s probably a little big; we didn’t know her size, but she’ll grow into it, right?”I didn’t think I had any heart left until I felt another piece of it break off. She wasn’t wrong, Emily would have looked amazing in it, but she would never have a chance to grow into it, nor would she ever wear it.The strained smile I’d been forcing dissolved. A lump lodged itself into the back of my throat requiring me to take several m
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 35 (iii)
I considered writing him a note asking that he take care of them, but much like everything else, it didn’t matter. What would I care if he ripped through my room like the Tasmanian Devil after I was gone?The air inside my mother’s room was still. It was the first I’d been in there—the first I’d been in any of her rooms since my father left. Matt was welcome to cuddle and watch movies from time to time, but never me. There was an air of reverence that came with the subtle warning I shouldn’t have been there. I was walking on holy ground as a tainted sinner. Such a transgression would normally fill me with fear but that particular feeling couldn’t have been further away.I took the time to sweep my eyes across my mother’s room. How foreign it seemed, as if I’d been transported to another world. Nothing was out of place and the bed had been well-made. The blinds were half open, allowing light into the room while blott
The Girl with the Masks and The Student Body President Chapter 35 (ii)
Uncomfortable and uncertain, the nurse returned to her desk. Seeing her whisper about me with her colleagues brought the laughter to the next level. My insides hurt from how hard I laughed, and I could feel a pressure building inside my head, but even then…I couldn’t stop laughing.Those around me grew unsettled by the persistent nature of my unprovoked laughter. One by one, they rose from the chairs closest to me and made their way to stand at the wall at the opposite end of the waiting room or by the nurse’s desk.Their evasion tickled my insides until they screamed. Those people had nothing to fear; I wasn’t the murderer.By the time I was allowed to see Jayden, the laughter had died. It was replaced by a subdued silence that stood in stark contrast to the boisterous half-cackle half-wail I’d carried on with earlier.I didn’t have the energy for it…didn’t have the energy for anything. I’d been dra
