I was still working through the math on Jayden’s earlier statement when I realised they’d both turned expectant gazes to me. Somehow, I’d ended up in the middle of a standoff I’d rather watch from a distance and it brought the most unpleasant churning to my stomach. If I said no, it would unnecessarily offend the boy who’d approached me in good faith. If I said yes, I’d offend the boy who still hadn’t learned I wasn’t his property.
My stomach hurt too much for this mess.
“Um…thank you. It was very sweet of you.” I smiled, trying to soften the blow of the rejection Jayden had offered on my behalf. I relaxed only after he mirrored my smile with one of his own. Josh wasn’t angry—at least, he didn’t seem to be. He’d been disappointed by the outcome, but his reaction was not the world-ending catastrophe I’d convinced myself it would be.
The boy waved his goodbye then head
“Mom wants you to come by for dinner tonight if you can,” I said, breaking the silence as we approached the door to room 31.“Tonight’s a bit short notice for me. Got a date with Alyssa…or was it Erica? Seira?” He rubbed at his chin contemplatively, lost in his own musings.The deadpan expression he’d managed to elicit with his words only served to amuse him. A wide, boyish grin took shape before my eyes, attempting to coax movement from my lips. I remained resolved in my disapproval; my lack of amusement was hard to miss.“I’m kidding. I’ll be there at six.”I rolled my eyes, nudging him aside to walk by him into the classroom. There was only so much of Jayden Pryce’s humour that I could tolerate before my eyes went permanently inverted.I spent the day on autopilot, my mind preoccupied with thoughts of the sanctioned dinner to take place in the evening. Conversations f
I felt the unpleasant sensation of blood draining from my face at the sight of the knife he’d had all along. The danger had been worse than I understood and was growing worse still. If Matt got hurt, it would be my fault. My mother would be furious that ‘a guest’ of mine had hurt her son, and I would be in for worse.“Adam, ple—”“No, you get lost,” Matt said. “You can’t just come to my house, order me around, and hurt my sister. Don’t make me have to say it again or I’ll get my mom’s pistol and put a bullet through your fucking skull.”Adam scoffed, raising the knife higher in show he meant business.I watched in abject horror as my little brother pulled my mother’s pistol from his back pocket. Before I could begin to wonder what on earth he’d been doing with it, he raised it toward the stubborn boy. The metal glistened in the light of the setting sun, giving
This had little, if anything, to do with the section of the chicken he happened to get. There was a knowing embedded in his carefree eyes and an assurance that he was prepared to take the punishment meant for me. He knew what he was asking for but wouldn’t back down despite my or my mother’s urging.Before my mother could head for the kitchen, the student body president reached across the table to swipe my meal. He nudged his to me in return then dug in before either of us could stop him.“Mmm, this is good chicken! Wish my mom was half the chef you are.”Mom flushed, sinking slowly into her chair. “Thank you. How…very kind of you to say.”I watched, horrified with each bite he took. Had I known this was her plan, I’d had made an excuse on his behalf without ever inviting him to begin with. Jayden was too selfless for his own good, and I didn’t want to see him suffer for it. Things had been going well
Warily, I moved forward to take the bottle. From the corner of my eyes, I caught Matt staring in at us but the moment our gazes met, he turned his back to the television. He appeared restless, a contrast to his typical indifference whenever our mother fell into a mood. “If that boy turns up with the police, you won’t be able to recognise yourself after. Drink it.” My lips parted to ask the incendiary word ‘what’ but self-preservation kept my lips firmly pressed shut. Instead, I looked over at her with plaintive eyes despite the futility of such an act. Begging only ever encouraged her. “Drink it!” I raised the bottle to my lips, my hand shaking so terribly that I worried I would spill more than I consumed. In her current state of mind, she would no doubt take it as wilful defiance then the real trouble would start. Looking at my mother, I could see there would be no mercy. She waited for me to down the contents of the bottle, her pati
“Nothing.”I was resigned to the role I would have to continue playing. Escape hadn’t been possible and until another opportunity presented itself, I had no choice but to carry on. I forced my hands to my face, making feeble attempts to dispel the tears that weren’t worth crying.“You seem fine,” I said, wanting to focus on anyone but myself. “Are you alright? Did the poison give you a rough time last night?”Jayden frowned. “You don’t know what day it is, do you?”My lips mirrored his in their own frown. “Of course I do.” I was disappointed, not delusional. “It’s Wednesday. Jonie and I had P.E. yesterday—she didn’t do her laps and Coach got mad.”His brows furrowed as his concerns mounted. “It’s…Saturday.”“What?” My head spun from the revelation. It was the longest, in memory, that I&rsqu
A nurse walked in. She did a few checks, asked a few questions then assured me I would be able to leave in another day or two. It was no less than expected; just another part of the script that propelled the performance forward.“Is it alright if I talk with you?” Jayden asked as the woman began to collect her things. She nodded him toward the door, indicating she had other matters but was willing to walk with him for a while.Lilia shot me a querying glance, but I could offer little more than a shrug. It was hard to say what went through Jayden’s mind, even on a good day. Given his penchant for worrying, it wouldn’t surprise me that he’d pursued the woman to gain insight on how best to help me heal from the latest ordeal. He would be insufferable, I imagined, always harping on about what the nurses did or didn’t say.Not wanted to dwell on that potential source of irritation, I turned my attention instead to Emi, who’d
Jayden likely saw it as the moment for me to be spirited away to safety, but he didn’t have the first clue. There was already a plan in place; Lilia and I had been talking about it for years. I wouldn’t throw it all away on a maybe.“I did them to myself.”“Wha—Kai!” Jayden’s eyes widened incredulously at my statement, his disbelief all but commanding me to speak the truth.The uniformed official sitting next to me was equally unconvinced. “Did you now?”“I’m still a child with bouts of clumsiness and a moody teenage girl who wants to kill herself every time my boyfriend breaks up with me. What do you expect?” My mind was made up; the only thing left to do was follow through.“It’s as I’ve told you.” Mom scooped me up into her arms, causing my muscles to tense despite my best efforts to appear at peace.I hid my discomfort behind a mask of i
I was discharged from the hospital two days later and returned to the care of my mother. The doctor and nurses had had their reservations but there was little any of them could do. It was a song and dance that had gone on longer than any of them could imagine, one that wouldn’t be easily disrupted by newcomers to the stage.I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, willing the hours to pass quickly so it would be morning and I would be able to return to school. After such a long absence, I found myself missing the droning voice of my history teacher and the unpleasant screech of the PA system before the morning announcements. No doubt, I’d missed out on many assignments as well and was eager to dive into them. The distraction would be good; it would spirit me away from the lingering threads of shame that r