1: Feelings

And you make me feel like I’m out of my mind, but it’s alright. (it’s alright)

Nothing ever gets me high like this

I pick my poison and it’s you

Nothing can kill me like you do.

Rita Ora - Poison

Estelle Bigg’s POV

“The countdown has begun, Elle!” Darcy Khan, my roommate and close friend announced, stepping into the lecture hall. Her high-pitched Indian accent gave a sweet melody to the words she just said as she approached the desk I sat on. She slammed her heavy textbook on my desk and caused a bang. A few heads of the students also in the hall turned in our direction, but she paid them no mind and kept her attention on me.

I glance up at her and found her beaming. I knew her words were aimed at me because I had wearied her about my desire to go home in the last month and I ticked the calendar every day as a way to encourage myself. “I can’t wait,” I admitted, releasing a deep sigh.

"Are you ready for it?"

It was the last week of the second semester and it was also the last week of exams. I had looked forward to this week with excitement, not because it was the last week of exams, but because the week that would follow would be the start of the longest break, and that also meant we would go home.

I came to the university of Oxford, England, from Nigeria to study medicine as it had always been my dream and Lyon, my father, wanted me to get nothing but the best. So far I have been able to learn a few things which had opened my eyes to things I didn’t know before. Studying on a different continent from my own had its perks, like being exposed to different cultures, traditions, languages, weather and way of life that differed from mine. I have learnt it also had its downsides, such as not being able to go home as much as I’d like to because I wasn’t in the country.

Yes, I was a daddy’s girl, and it wasn’t something I was ashamed of admitting to. We have been inseparable ever since I was little. He had had me at the very young age of fifteen and though his parents felt disappointed in him for fathering a child at a very young age; they support him in raising me. My mother, who was three years older than him, had left after delivering me. She stated how unexpected my conception was and she never returned. Still, my father didn’t care about how young he was; he took sole custody and raised me without grumbling. I became his little angel and though I turned twenty-one many few months ago; I was still his little girl.

I didn’t complain. I loved the attention and affection I got for him. Which was one of the reasons I was going home excited me.

“Yes, I am.”

“I can tell it’s all over your face. I wish I felt that happy with the thought of my father. All I feel most times is fear of disappointing him.” Sadness plagued her voice as she spoke the last line.

Darcy had been my roommate for the last three years I have been here and after a few months of living with each other, we developed a bond. When Lyon acquired the apartment for me in Oxford for my comfort and security after my arrival six months ago, I asked Darcy to join me there. You could call us close friends now.

We were both sciences majors, but while I studied medicine; she studied pharmaceutical engineering. Although pharmaceutical engineering was a respectable field of study, Darcy told me her father wanted her to become a doctor and nothing less.

This was what she loved and when she made the switch after her first semester at the 100 level, I saw how happy she became. Once in a while, her father would call and ask how her studies were going and how he couldn’t wait for her to graduate so she could administer treatments to him. Darcy told me he would disown her once he finds out the truth. I told her to remain optimistic about the outcome of the truth.

My father also had feared when he found out my mother was pregnant and had to come out to his parents about the truth, but it turned out better than he expected. My birth didn’t ruin his life like he feared it would. In fact, it made things better. He finished his secondary education and moved to Bowen university to study business administration and attained his PhD in management science. Today, he owned three successful companies in the country, one of which now was the largest tuber exporting company in my country.

“I know you are probably tired of hearing me say this, but the outcome of the truth might be better than what you already expect.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, her brown eyes showing hints of disbelief, “It’s not so easy to believe that, Elle.” She admitted.

She knew her father more than I did and as much as being optimistic was concerned; she knew what he could do when the truth comes out.

I placed my hand on hers. “How about this? If the truth gets you disowned, you are always welcome to be a part of my family. I’m pretty sure our house is large enough to welcome in a new sister.” I said, smiling at her, and this made her smile as well.

I didn’t need to ask my father to know if he would adopt a child. He would if he knew it would make me happy.

He called and asked if I had already booked my flight like I told him I would and though I couldn’t see his face after I said yes; I knew I had a grin on his face after I said yes.

His smile was one thing I missed. It was a rare sight to see, and the only thing that came close to him was the one of his best friends, Jace Henshaw II.

Darcy didn’t know this, but when I showed excitement about going home, it was partly because I wanted to see my father, and partly because wanted to see his best friend.

I wanted to see the way his amber eyes glittered whenever he smiled and how his cheek turned rosy whenever he was trying to conceal a smile. He also had a cute dimple that popped out whenever he smiled and he always covered them up. Jace Henshaw was my father’s best friend, but he was younger by three years. They had become best friends because their mothers were a close friend and bible study buddies before getting married to their fathers. So the both of them were born into the already created bond and from childhood till now; they had been inseparable. They both had black hair, and a defined jawline, a masculine build, but while Jace stood at six feet three inches and had high cheekbones and cute dimples, Lyon, my father stood at six feet one inch tall and didn’t possess those high cheekbones and dimples.

Growing up, I watched the two, and Jace had always been the cheerful one. He was also the life of the party, while Lyon was the reserve and calculating one. It could have been because he knew he was a father and had to be responsible for his decision, but I never got to ask.

Jace, however, had no responsibilities and so partied himself into the ground with whatever chance he got. Despite this, he was a decent human being and would always lay his life down for his friends and family without thinking about it, and Lyon would also do the same as well.

I had considered my feelings for him a mere teenage crush, one that I would grow out of it after a few years when I was much younger. However, that never happened and the crush grew into something more, something I couldn't control. It was love.

Three years ago he met and fell in love with Janet Owen. I remember leaving for Oxford with a broken heart despite being happy that someone had finally captured the playboy's heart.