4 #Lullaby.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m so mad at myself right now because of what I let happen in the bathroom. How foolish can I be? I know Jason hates me and is using his charms against me to make things worse for me.

But what I did, aside from stopping him, was let him go on, losing my sanity and indulging him. Darn, you, Kiera?

“Keira controls yourself and never repeats the same mistake twice,” I repeated the words in my head, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

I took deep breaths, trying to calm my senses. I’m mad not only because I allowed Jason to kiss me but also because I cherished every moment of us being like that, being kissed passionately and adroitly by him. With Jason’s arms draped around my waist, his chest pressed upon my body, with our hearts synchronizing together in rhythm, humming a song of their own.

‘It was just a kiss, just a kiss, and nothing else.’ I chanted the words in my head, hoping that it would help me forget the events earlier. Splashing cold water on my face, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my lips which are crimson and swollen from the profound attention it received earlier. My cheeks blush with a deep shade of pink. Even when I think about it, I can’t stop myself from blushing at the scene that plays in my mind. I still don't know why I allowed it or why I cherished every moment while it lasted, but one thing I’m sure about is that I don’t regret it.

I double-checked the room before entering, making sure that Jason was nowhere near, and made my way out of the bathroom towards the bedroom, not wanting to stay any longer in a place that reminded me of my love-hate moment. I then opened my suitcase, looking for some clothes and changing into them as quickly as possible before leaving.

Going downstairs, I see the living room in utter chaos, with Jason holding his daughter in his arms as his daughter crying her heart out, and even with Jason being so close to her, holding her in his arms couldn’t stop the tears streaming from her eyes.

“What happened?” The chaos stunned me, and I couldn’t help myself from asking.

All faces turned at me on hearing my voice, staring at me. “Kiera,” said Mrs. Clinton, breaking the silence.

“What are you doing here?” Jason demanded, with his face raging from anger, watching me here with others.

“Let me remind you that if you have forgotten, I live here,” I responded sarcastically.

“Leave, I’m not in the mood to argue with you right now,” Jason fumed, caressing his daughter in his arms, trying to calm her down.

“Fine,” I mumbled more to myself than to him. Although I don’t want to do it after seeing Jason’s daughter weeping so hard, and as a stranger in this house, I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything but disturb others in their work.

I turned around to leave, but before I could make a move, little hands held my arms, preventing me from leaving.

It was no surprise to me, given the size of his hands, to whom these belonged. But what surprises me is the question that crossed my mind at the moment when the tiny hands held me. And that is ‘Why?’

I turned my head and was not surprised, but bewildered, if I do say so, to see Jason’s daughter holding my hand, trying to grab my attention.

My mind became utterly empty, not knowing what to do then. So I turned my face around to Jason, thinking he might know something about_ how to handle a situation like that because he’s his father. Where else but me I'm just a stranger. But given his stern face and puzzled grimace, I don’t think he knows anything about it either.

However, even with his grimacing expression, Jason did something that surprised me most about this entire situation: he placed his daughter in my arms by giving it to me. Well, how many more surprises am I going to get on my first day with Jason?

“Help me calm her, please…...” Wait, did Jason Gray say please, seeking my help? Shut up, Kiera. What are you thinking? A person asking for my help to calm his crying child, and I’m thinking about such nonsense; Shame on me.

I’ve never held a child in my arms, so how am I going to soothe a child? I feel like the mediocre cook we asked to prepare a gourmet dinner. But whatever it is, I have to do my best to calm her down, no matter how.

I don’t know why or how, but just as I glanced at the little girl Jason settled in my arms, a memory long lost and mostly forgotten appeared in my mind, something that I never wanted to recall in my mind ever. The memory was the most depressing moment I ever had as a child. I don’t know why it appeared here and now. But with the sorrowful memory also comes the beautiful moment of life that I shared with my father. At the time, I was so disturbed, but my father’s arms wrapped around my body like a protective blanket made me feel that no harm could hurt me while my father was with me. His favorite lullaby, which he used to sing to me, always helps me to calm my mind and relax in my life’s most distressing moments.

I know nothing about child care or child-rearing, but who knows what helped me calm my senses as a child could help the girl in the arms? Darn, I don’t even know her name. Stop wasting time; it is better to try than to waste time on conclusions that make no sense.

Therefore, do not waste time and stop the crying of the girl weeping in my arms. I did what my dad usually did, imitating it step by step, how he wiped off my tears, looking at me with a sweet smile on his face, how he used to kiss my forehead, making me feel so important in his life. I cannot describe the importance of these memories to me in life, and I do not want to do so because it’s something I cherish wholeheartedly in my life.

I felt a head resting over my left shoulder, and that simple act of compassion brought a smile to my face as I moved my hands, caressing the hair of the little angel in my arms, rocking her, and crooning her with my father and my favorite lullaby.

I am hoping that it will have the same effects on her as it does on me.

‘Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

There’s a land that I heard of

Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow

Skies are blue.

And the dreams that you dare to dream.

Really do come true.

Someday I’ll wish upon a star.

And wake up where the clouds are far,

Behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops

That’s where you’ll find me.’