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140: Irresponsible

I can't sleep.

Damien's been gone for about two hours. I want to know what's happening, how Ethan reacted to all this. I don't know why I care, but I do. About his reaction, I mean. I'm anxious. I'm imagining all sorts of reactions from him, but he isn't happy in any of them. I don't believe this will change anything between us. He won't see me differently now just because he found out we're related.

I'm only interested in what they'll do about my mother.

I have to fight the urge to venture downstairs. I better stay in here, where it's safe, but I don't know what to do about my anxiety. There's nothing to distract me here, anyway. All I have are my thoughts, and they're not helping. I wonder how she's feeling right now. She knows they want me to kill my own brother, that's not something that can be taken lightly. She's already lost Aaron. She didn't know Ethan, I think, but that doesn't mean anything. She fought to keep him safe, to keep him away from Ferdinand. She loved him, of cour
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