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104: Funeral

It's Aaron's funeral today.

It's just the three of us here, watching the coffin being lowered in the ground. My mother and I are watching without shedding a tear. There isn't a single tear left inside of me. These past couple of days have been torturous; hopelessness and despair has been clinging to us like a cloud, and by us I mean mom and I. My brother's loss rocked us; I felt worse the second day. I woke up feeling empty, overcome with loss. I felt defeated, deflated, lost.

Ferdinand has been trying to reach out to me, but I can't and won't let him in. I'm indifferent towards him solely because he didn't help Aaron, he let him die, but I'm sure that if my mother decides to tell me about him, the whole unfiltered truth, I'll despise him. She hasn't talked to me since the day I arrived. She hasn't said a single word. She was locked in her room the whole time, holding pictures of Aaron. It's heartbreaking and shattering.

Ferdinand told us yesterday at breakfast that there would be a
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