For a second, I'm completely speechless. We haven't even been in the room together for two minutes and he's completely written me off. Without even bothering to do the scene with me. My dream is slipping through my fingers, and he won't even give me a chance.I don't know what comes over me then. Maybe it's all the stress surrounding this audition - I hardly slept at all last night - or maybe it's just years' worth of desperation finally bubbling up to the surface. Either way, I'm not about to let him take that away from me - not without at least letting me audition.I run to the door."Luca!" I yell after him.He stops and turns slowly, one eyebrow raised quizzically. "Yes, my dear?""This is bullshit." The words that come out of my mouth shock me. And they appear to shock Luca, too, because his eyes widen."Excuse me?" he says.I know this is a mistake, but I can't stop myself. "You heard me. This is bullshit. BULL. SHIT. So what if I don't have that much experience? I guarant
PRESENT DAYSome mornings, it feels like there isn't enough caffeine in the entire world to turn me into a normal human being. Fortunately, my on-set makeup artist is a miracle worker.I sip my giant coffee as I survey myself in my trailer's full-length mirror. The rising sun is just starting to peek through the trailer's curtains, but I've already been here for over two hours, being transformed from just-rolled-out-of-bed Emilia into a badass warrior chick who looks like she's been through hell and back. You'd think after two years of working in major feature films I'd be used to showing up to work at 4 AM, but it still usually takes a shot of espresso or two before I stop being a zombie. I thought I was exhausted during the production of Cataclysm: Earth, but so far the filming for its sequel, Cataclysm: Aftermath, has been even more grueling. We just wrapped up filming in the Mojave Desert last week, and now the rest of the movie will be shot in a soundstage here in Los Angeles.
The whole fake relationship thing was Luca's idea.Nothing sells a film like some good drama between co-stars, and he wanted Cataclysm: Earth to be huge. He had a contract and everything, spelling out what we could and couldn't do, breaking down exactly when all of our dramatic "relationship events" would take place, laying out exactly what was expected of me. I knew this was my chance to really make it big, so I signed it.And it worked. Our little show began the moment my signature was dry on the contract, and Luca and I have been in the spotlight ever since - one day making out on the beach, the next breaking up, the next starting baby rumors...and over and over and over again until I was convinced people would be bored with us. Instead, it only made them more obsessed.And now I have a rock the size of a golf ball to wear on my finger.My engagement ring is currently locked in my safe here in the trailer - I can't exactly wear it during filming - but I can still feel the weight
I did everything I could to prep for this scene. I've been practicing for weeks, recording myself making various moans and whimpers and then playing them back to myself. I've never walked onto set without being completely and totally prepared. I might not be as experienced as many of the people I work with, but I work twice as hard.When I reach the set, people are still rushing around and making their final adjustments to everything. Isaac Hillebrand, our esteemed director, is chatting with Leena, the set decorator, but as soon as he sees me, he makes a beeline right over."Luca's put us behind schedule," he says, his irritation plain on his face. "Is there something going on with him I should know about?"After working with Isaac for two films, I'm used to his directness, but I'm not really sure how to answer his question. It is really weird for Luca to be late, but I haven't the slightest idea what's going on.So I try redirection."Has no one been able to get in touch with him
Unfortunately, my prediction turns out to be exactly right.Everything starts out okay. The first half of the scene is mostly dialogue. Our characters, Jax and Isabel, have just escaped from a horde of alien creatures (another addition to the sequel) into the relative safety of an abandoned convenience store. The set today looks spectacular - exactly like you'd expect an already trashy gas station mart to look after a huge apocalyptic event. Dilapidated shelves dangle at all angles, dented cans are scattered everywhere, and - of course - everything has a thick coat of "apocalypse dust." The only thing that breaks the illusion is the giant green screen behind the convenience store's "windows" - where they'll add in the scenery and CGI alien creatures later.Luca, as usual, is stunning. He always is. No one can accuse him of coasting on his looks - he's that good an actor. It still fascinates me to watch, even two years into our working relationship. One minute Luca is there, all charm
Luca props himself up on his elbows over me, a frown wrinkling the perfect skin on his forehead. Somewhere along the edges of my panic, I'm dimly aware of Isaac calling, "Cut!"I shove at Luca's chest again, and he sits up all the way. I gasp for breath, but I still feel as if a great weight is bearing down on me. As if my thumping heart is blocking my throat.Luca runs a hand through his golden hair. I can't tell if he's frustrated or not."Can we get her robe over here?" he says.Shit - I'm still freaking topless.I quickly cross my arms across my chest, trying to block what I can, but everyone in this room has seen my nipples by now. A few seconds later, Briana rushes forward with my robe in her hands. She drapes it over my body as Luca helps me sit up. Now Isaac is beside us, too."What the hell is going on?" our director demands. "What happened?"This is the part where I offer up some lame excuse. But I can't find the words.Fortunately, Luca comes to my aid."When I was
Luca has very skillfully brushed off my question, but I can't pretend his tardiness is the only reason I'm having issues today."I think... I honestly think it's just the pressure," I say. "Everyone believes that what you and I are doing out there is real. And if we're awkward or if something about it is off, then they're going to know the truth."One of his golden eyebrows rises. "If you're worried about it looking awkward, then I'm afraid that ship has already sailed.""I know. I just..." God, what is wrong with me? "I got a weird call from Javy this morning and I'm a little distracted.""Javy?""My brother." We've been "together" for two years and apparently he still doesn't know my little brother's name. But I can't blame him, I guess - Luca and I never talk about personal stuff.He's watching me a little too closely. I don't think he realizes how intense his gaze is - how it has a way of getting under your skin, even when you try to guard yourself against it. I look down at
I still remember, quite vividly, the first time I visited Luca's house. I stood here on this very driveway, looking up at the marvel of contemporary architecture rising above me, and I'm pretty sure I forgot how to breathe. The effect isn't quite as intense this time, but the memory still comes rushing back to me.I nearly tripped over my own feet walking up the front steps. I still couldn't believe that I, of all girls, would be acting opposite Luca Fontaine. That I, of all girls, was about to walk into his Beverly Hills mansion. He'd invited me here himself, saying he had "special business" to discuss with me.Even though it had only been a month since I was cast in Cataclysm: Earth, I'd still been in Hollywood long enough to know what that meant. No doubt about it - he'd invited me here to sleep with him.It was stupid, I knew, to even consider the idea. I was here to be an actress, not to hook up with a celebrity. I knew plenty of young, naive women who thought that sleeping wit
A short while later, Luca and I are sitting on the edge of the back porch, sipping coffee and listening to the sounds of the world waking up around us. It's still only about seven in the morning, but it feels like we've been awake forever. Still, it's nice to have a moment of quiet, just to ourselves."So," I say casually, "that's my family."He laughs, and for a second I'm lost in the sound. Lost in him."They're a little crazy, I know." I smile down at my coffee cup. "But we're there for each other.""I know a thing or two about that," he says, grinning at me. "Also a thing or two about delinquent younger brothers. We can't let Javy anywhere near Rafe - I bet those two would get into all sorts of trouble together.""What about me?" I ask. "Am I allowed near Rafe now? Since we've properly established that I don't have any interest in him?"He gives me a teasing look. "I'll consider it. But just to be clear, it's not you I don't trust - it's him.""Fair enough.""Actually, spea
My little brother freezes on the steps. He drops his hand from his eyes, shock flashing across his face. It's followed quickly by panic.And I, meanwhile, suddenly find myself fighting down anger. I've spent the last couple of weeks worried sick about him, trying to help him but getting only vague explanations and unanswered calls in return."Would you like to tell everyone why I'm here, Javy?" I say.My parents both turn toward him, their faces wrinkled in confusion. My mother places her hand on my arm. "What are you talking about, honey?"Part of me wonders if I should try to respect my brother's wishes and address this in private, but I suspect that's out of the question now. There's no way my mom will let us get away with that."Javy's been calling me these past few weeks, claiming he's in trouble," I say. "But he won't tell me why.""Trouble?" My dad's frown deepens. "What's going on?""Look," Javy says, throwing up his hands. "This is all getting blown out of proportion."
It's sticky in Atlanta, even for six o'clock in the morning.I'm not tired, even though Luca and I were up the entire plane ride exploring each other in new and intoxicating ways. That seven-hour nap I took in Luca's trailer yesterday probably helped, but I suspect it's mostly adrenaline carrying me along."Your brother still lives with your parents?" Luca asks me during the cab ride to their house. He laces his fingers through mine, and I'm grateful for the comforting touch."He just graduated from college this year," I say. "He's at home for now, but I suspect he's getting antsy to leave the nest. In all honesty, though, I don't think my parents are ready for him to go. With Sara in New York and me in L.A., I think they like having him around." I squeeze his hand. "I still can't figure out what sort of trouble he's managed to get himself into. My parents don't seem to have any idea..."Luca leans closer to me. "Whatever it is, just remember that you're not alone. We'll figure it
"Look at me," Luca says.He reaches out with his free hand and cups my chin, raising my eyes to his again. "Look me in the eyes and tell me what you see."I almost don't want to, it scares me so much. In his eyes I see a wild storm - and a promise that makes my toes curl. I try to look away again, but he won't let me."What's wrong?" he asks. "Tell me, Emilia.""It's nothing," I say, then decide to start over. "It's hard to explain. Sometimes I feel like you and I are complete strangers, like we hardly know each other at all, and other times..." I swallow. "Other times I feel like you know me in ways that no one else can. That no one else ever will.""And that scares you?"My assessment must be right - obviously he knows me well if he can read me so easily. I nod."Frankly, it scares me, too," he says. "Terrifies me, actually." He laughs then, and the bright sound is almost jarring. "Emilia, I've spent most of my life avoiding these kinds of emotions. Lust, I can handle. Obsessi
I make it all the way outside the airport without anyone stopping me.And, unfortunately, without realizing I've probably just ruined whatever chance I had of getting to Atlanta tonight.There's no way I'm going back to that gate. I can't. I can try to get another flight on another airline, but judging by my luck the first time around, the chances of that happening are pretty slim.What the fuck is wrong with me? Luca just declared his love for me in front of a ton of people and cell phone cameras and I ran.I slump down onto a bench, burying my face in my hands. He didn't just pour out his feelings - he told everyone the truth about our relationship. He undid two years' worth of lies in a single moment, and I feel as if I've been laid bare in front of the whole world. My perfectly crafted public persona is gone, just like that.The back of my neck prickles. He's found me, I can feel it.He sits down on the bench next to me, but not close enough to touch. And he doesn't say a wor
"Emilia," Luca says, "I've been calling you all night."I glance around. My fellow passengers - who'd all seemed happy enough to ignore the girl on the floor with the giant cheeseburger - are starting to notice that the one and only Luca Fontaine is standing in front of them. A couple of them pull out their cell phones as I scramble to my feet."I have to go to Atlanta," I tell him. "I have to figure out what's going on with Javy."He's still frowning. "You should have told me you were going.""You should have told me you were going when you left me alone in your trailer." It's such a stupid, petty thing to bring up now, but my only defense is deflection.Luca's gaze burns into me. He's not about to let me turn this back around on him."Why didn't you tell me?" he demands.I want to run, but his eyes pin me in place. "I thought you might try to stop me. And anyway, this doesn't concern you. He's my brother, which means it's on me to fix this.""What do you mean this doesn't con
LAX is a madhouse, as usual.I go from ticket counter to ticket counter, asking for the first open flight to Atlanta. Normally I have people who do this sort of thing for me, but I don't want to have to explain why I'm ditching my job to go fly across the country. Most of the flights are full until late tomorrow, but I finally manage to score a standby ticket for one leaving three hours from now. It's not ideal, but it's the best I can do on such short notice - even being a celebrity doesn't give me much power against the stupid airlines.A little voice in my head warns me that I'm being rash, that I should think about the consequences this sudden disappearing act might have on my career, but I force those thoughts back down. Nothing will stop me from going home.You should have at least left a note for Luca, I think. I tell myself I'll shoot him a text or something when I get to my gate, even though I know I won't.I keep my head down as I make my way through security. If I'd stop
I feel like someone has gutted me. I love Luca. The realization makes me want to throw up. It's one thing to be attracted to his perfect body, but it's another to actually fall for him. I don't even know him, not really. I can't be in love with him. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can already see how this ends - with me getting my heart broken. But there's no rationalizing this away - I've already tried that and it didn't work. No, I'm just fucked. He's going to hurt me, and then I'll be alone and devastated and there will be no one to pick up the pieces.I try to fight back the tears. By the time I get back to the house, my entire head throbs with the effort. Relief rushes through me when I see that Luca isn't home yet. I don't think I can face him right now. I throw his keys down on the kitchen counter and run upstairs, locking myself in my room.I plug my phone in to charge and then stumble into the bathroom to shower. I need to get the smell of him off me. I need to w
I wake alone.It takes a moment for me to remember where I am. I can tell I'm in a strange bed and that I'm missing the warm body of someone next to me, but it takes my sleepy brain a few tries to connect all the dots. Suddenly, it all comes rushing back.I slept with Luca.I roll over, my arm sliding across his half of the bed, but it's cold. He's been gone for a while. My heart sinks.Don't act so surprised, Em. You knew this would happen.Clutching the sheets to my chest, I sit up and look around. It's completely dark. There's no light coming in through the blinds. I slide to the edge of the bed and feel around on the floor for my clothes. I wish I had something besides the torn, "apocalypse dust"-ed bits of my costume, but they'll have to do for now. I pull them on and then reach around in the dark until I find the light switch.I didn't have a chance to look around Luca's trailer before we tumbled into bed together, and I have to admit I'm quite impressed by what I see - it'