Chapter 6: The Big Scene

Unfortunately, my prediction turns out to be exactly right.

Everything starts out okay. The first half of the scene is mostly dialogue. Our characters, Jax and Isabel, have just escaped from a horde of alien creatures (another addition to the sequel) into the relative safety of an abandoned convenience store. The set today looks spectacular - exactly like you'd expect an already trashy gas station mart to look after a huge apocalyptic event. Dilapidated shelves dangle at all angles, dented cans are scattered everywhere, and - of course - everything has a thick coat of "apocalypse dust." The only thing that breaks the illusion is the giant green screen behind the convenience store's "windows" - where they'll add in the scenery and CGI alien creatures later.

Luca, as usual, is stunning. He always is. No one can accuse him of coasting on his looks - he's that good an actor. It still fascinates me to watch, even two years into our working relationship. One minute Luca is there, all charm and smiles, and then the next he's gone, lost behind whatever character he's playing today. When he slips into Jax, I feel the shift in him. Everything about him changes - his expressions, his posture, his mannerisms...sometimes even his voice. Luca is no longer there.

He's in especially good form today. And acting with him brings out the best in me, too. I nail my lines. I'd have kicked myself if I hadn't, especially after all the hours of practice I put in. Once I'm in Isabel's head, all my anxieties from this morning start to fade away. I'm no longer Emilia, neurotic mess. I'm Isabel, the badass. And Luca is no longer my complicated fake fiancé. He's Jax, the action hero. I'm actually feeling pretty good about everything going into the big sex part.

And that's where everything falls apart.

We're on the ground behind one of the broken shelves, hiding from the alien creatures outside. Jax has injured his leg fighting them off, and I - Isabel - am doing my best to treat the injury. I lean over his leg, my hand sliding across the bloodied fabric of his pants. He mutters a curse as my fingers brush against his wound.

"Fuck," I say. "It's even worse than I thought."

"It looks worse than it is," he says.

"Stop trying to play the tough guy." I pull a small knife out of the sheath on my belt. "You're not invincible."

"I never said I was."

I give him a sharp look. "You're just like every other macho hero type. You think you can charge headfirst into any fight and escape with nothing more than a few scars. Maybe that worked for you before, but that's not how the world works anymore. We can't afford to be reckless." I prepare to slice the leg of his pants open with my knife.

"Izzy." His hand comes up to the side of my neck, his fingers brushing a tangle of hair back. "We're going to get through this. I promise we are."

My skin tingles beneath the warmth of his touch.

"It's not about getting through this," I say. "There's no getting through this, not anymore. Those things out there keep multiplying. And they're only the first ones to arrive. Not to mention the fact that every day the air grows thicker. This entire planet might be uninhabitable in another month."

"Izzy - "

I jerk the knife up to his throat. "Stop talking to me like that. You know I'm right. And if you slowed down and stopped trying to fight your way out of this situation, you'd see that we need a new plan."

His honey-brown eyes lock on mine, and in them I can see Jax's ego warring with the truth of my words. His breaths are ragged, and my face is so close to his that I can feel them on my skin.

After a long moment, his hand closes around mine, and he slowly pulls the knife away from his throat. His fingers burn my skin where they touch.

"You want to leave Earth," he says in a low voice.

"It's our only option. We need to get to the station and commandeer one of the shuttles." My eyes search his. "I want to live, Jax. And that's no longer a possibility here. You might be willing to fight those things to the death, but that's the only way it will ever end - in death. A horrible, pointless death. Sure, you might take out a few of those beasts along the way, but they'll only be replaced by more. And I'm not willing to die for that. I'm willing to die for many things, but not for something this fruitless. The question is - what are you willing to die for?"

Again, he's silent for a long time. And such is the power of Luca's acting that I find myself completely entranced by the emotions that play across his face - the bravado, the fear, the hopelessness, the determination. My insides twist, and for a minute I'm truly convinced that this is a real choice he's making, that it's real anguish I see in his eyes.

Finally, he brings both hands up to my face, cupping my cheeks. My gut tightens as he turns that intense emotion onto me.

"I'm not willing to die for something fruitless, either," he says. "If I'm to die in this fight, I want it to mean something. And if that means blowing this whole fucking planet out of the sky, then so be it." He leans forward, pressing his forehead against mine. "If I die, I want it to be next to you, fighting for this world until our last breath."

He kisses me then, his lips attacking mine with all of Jax's desperation and need. Luca and I have kissed hundreds of times before, but I have to admit that there's always something different when we kiss on set. Maybe it's because we both give ourselves over so fully to our characters, that we live and breathe Jax and Isabel in these moments. But there's a life to these kisses that doesn't quite extend to the ones we share as ourselves, as Luca and Emilia, the engaged couple.

I let Isabel take over now, leaning into the kiss. My arms come up and slide around his neck, holding him close to me, and his hand circles my back as he deepens the embrace. His tongue slips along my lower lip, teasing me before plunging into my mouth. I give a soft moan - thank God it sounds natural - as we press against each other. I can feel my insides tightening, feel the nerves starting to rise in my chest, but I force them back down.

The next part happens quickly. His hand on my back begins tugging at my tank top, pulling it up. I release his neck, knowing that this is the part where we move into unknown territory. The part that's had me a nervous wreck since I rolled out of bed this morning.

Emilia might be a nervous wreck, but you're not Emilia right now, I remind myself. You're Isabel. And Isabel definitely, definitely wants this.

I release his neck and lift my arms, letting him pull my tank top over my head. He tosses it aside, and his mouth finds mine again as his hands move to the hook of my bra. He undoes it with a casual flick of his fingers - no careless fumbling for Luca Fontaine - and the straps fall down my arms. Cool air meets my bare skin, and my nipples harden in response.

Blood rushes to my cheeks. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed - everyone here is a professional, and most of them have seen plenty of topless actresses before - but I can't help it.

You're a professional, too, I remind myself. Forget about Em's ridiculous hang-ups and focus on Isabel.

My fingers tug at his shirt, pulling it up his chest. One thing I'll say for this scene - at least it requires both the male and female characters to get equally naked, so I'm not the only one baring it all. I yank his shirt over his head and throw it aside with mine. Luca pulls me flush against his chest, and I try not to think about how my hard, bare nipples are now rubbing up against his skin. His body is so warm, and his arms feel so powerful around me. His trainer helped him put on extra muscle for these films, and I'm pretty sure he could break me in half if he wanted to.

Right now, though, he has other things in mind. His hand moves down to my ass, and he gives it a soft squeeze before rolling me over and pushing me down onto my back. He lowers himself down on top of me, kissing me deeply as his fingers move to my belt.

If I thought I was nervous before, it's nothing compared to the emotion that seizes me now. My heart jumps into my throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe as I feel my belt come undone.

You're Isabel, I tell myself again. Just be Isabel.

It's not like I'm going to be completely naked, either - I'm wearing a nude thong that they'll erase in post-production if necessary. Still, I can't help but be acutely aware of all of the eyes and cameras on us right now. Can they tell I'm freaking out? Do I look as uncomfortable as I feel? Is it obvious that Luca and I have never done this before?

I open my eyes, looking up into his. His gaze is slightly clouded, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think his lust was real. I wonder if he looks at his lovers this way - I know he's had some since our "relationship" began - or if he's just really into character right now.

Luca begins tugging down my shorts, and something in me seizes up. My whole body stiffens, and my heart is thundering so fast in my ears that it drowns out everything else.

I can't do this. I can't do this.

Luca pauses. His head dips a little lower, his mouth moving close to my ear.

"Relax," he whispers so that only I can hear. "Just relax."

But I can't relax. I can't. I can feel everyone staring at me, probably wondering what the heck is wrong with me. And that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that this is being recorded, that there will be video proof forever and ever -

"Isabel," Luca murmurs, brushing his lips against the side of my neck. "Take a deep breath..."

He's still in character, damn him. Meanwhile, I've fallen completely out of Isabel's head. I'm only Em again, and Em is having a panic attack while lying half-naked beneath Luca Fontaine in front of a soundstage full of people.

"I can't do this," I hear myself say. I start pushing at Luca's chest. "Please, I can't do this."