Hanggang sa mananghalian na kami, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala—hindi pa rin nags-sync in sa akin na nakita ko siya sa ganoong paraan. Like, what was that?! I have hated him for years now and I have never appreciated anything about him. Ngayon lang talaga, at isinusumpa kong hinding-hindi na ‘to mauulit.
Unfortunately, we are eating lunch together. I’m okay with Rico joining us, para naman may kausap si Kheena at hindi ako ang ginugulo. But when Rico’s around? Malamang sa malamang, hindi puwedeng hindi niya kasama si Aven. Being at the same place as him makes my blood boil up to 56.7 degrees celsius but I guess I ‘always’ have to suffer silently.Although, I can do something about it. Puwedeng-puwede akong lumipat ng ibang table or hindi naman kaya’y bumalik sa classroom at do’n na lang kumain pero bakit ako pa ang gagawa ng paraan? Siya dapat ang mag-adjust dahil siya ang nakaka-perwisyo.“You know what? I just realized that it would be nice to eat alone. Baka sa susunod hindi na ako sumabay sa inyo, Kheena.” After I said that, as expected, Kheena dramatically dropped her utensils and gasped, and then harshly clutched her chest, “Ayaw mo na ba akong kasama kumain? I-Is that what you’re trying to say, Cinderella?” Tumalsik pa ang ilang butil ng kanin at laway niya sa braso ko nang ibulalas niya ‘yon.Tamad akong ngumuya, “Ikaw lang ba ang kasama ko ngayon?”I turned to Rico when he shifted in his seat.“Oh? Baka ako na naman, ah? Hindi na nga kita kinakausap diyan para hindi ka mainis, e!” depensa agad nito kahit wala pa man akong sinasabi.I chuckled, “Don’t worry, kaya pa naman kitang pagtiisan. But as much as I want to tell you that I’m fine with you being here, I cannot lie. Lalo na’t may dala kang masamang hangin. Nakakawalang gana.”I gripped my water bottle when Aven butted in.“Hmm? You can just say my name, you know.”“Bakit ko naman gagawin ‘yon? Suwerte mo naman para sayangin ko laway ko sa pagbigkas ng pangalan mo. Hindi ka kasali sa usapan kaya huwag kang sumasabat,” anas ko ngunit na kay Rico pa rin ang tingin.“Ah, hindi ba? Akala ko, ako ang tinutukoy mong masamang hangin, e.”Bakit ba hindi na lang siya manahimik? His chill and sarcastic tone makes me want to strangle the sh*t out of him. I never questioned the existence of anything or anyone, but whenever I see him? Hindi ko mapigilang magtaka kung bakit ba siya ipinanganak ng nanay niya at kung ano pa ang iba niyang purpose sa mundo bukod sa pagiging peste sa buhay ko.Marahas ko siyang nilingon, “Huwag kang mag-alala. Hindi ka nga nagkakamali.”Bahagya nitong tinagilid ang kaniyang ulo at sinalubong ang tingin ko.“Oh, akala ko ba hindi ako kasali sa usapan? Ang gulo mo naman, Prinsesa.”“Shut up!”He just smiled at me and mouthed, “Okay.” Then he shrugged and zipped his mouth mockingly.Argh! Ang sarap niyang saksakin ng tinidor! “Oookay! We should eat na. Nakakagutom talagang mag-aral, ‘no?” Kheena said, obviously just to interrupt the rising tension between me and Aven. Gusto ko pang magsalita para makabawi ngunit binaling ko na lang sa pagkain ang inis ko.Natapos ang lunch break at kahit nasa klase na, hindi pa rin humuhupa ang init ng ulo ko. While the teacher is discussing in front, I’m also taking my time fighting the urge to choke Aven. May pinapakopya sa amin at kung minamalas nga naman ay hindi ko makita ang ballpen ko. Kinapa-kapa ko ang aking ponytail kung saan ko ito palaging isunusuksok pero wala akong nakapa. I checked the pockets of my blouse ngunit wala rin ‘yon do’n. P*cha naman!“Sh*t, where is it?” I whispered.Abala ako sa paghalukay-ube ng mga gamit sa loob ng bag ko nang biglang maglahad ng g-tec ‘tong katabi ko. I didn’t face him, patuloy lang ako sa paghahalungkat ng gamit ko.“Hoy, oh.”“Hinahanap ko ang ballpen ‘ko, okay? Huwag mo ‘kong ginugulo kung ayaw mong it*rak ko sa leeg mo ‘yang hawak mo,” pabulong kong anas.Mangha siyang tumawa, “Chill ka lang. Ito na nga ‘yong ballpen mo, e.”Nang sipatin ko ang hawak niyang g-tec, may electrical tape rin ang dulo no’n kagaya ng sa akin. Hinablot ko ito mula sa kaniya nang makumpirmang akin nga ang hawak niyang ballpen.“Ba’t nasa ‘yo ‘to?” I glared.“Nahulog mo kanina nang mag-walk out ka no’ng recess.” He shrugged and grinned, “You’re welcome.”Imbes na sumagot, inirapan ko lang siya. He thinks I would thank him? ‘You’re welcome’ my a**. Why would he say that if I didn’t even say ‘thank you’? Ako? Magpapasalamat sa kaniya? Haha! Never.* * *I woke up at the right side of the bed. Although, it’s a bit sad since umalis na naman sina Mom for their two-day business trip in Singapore. But at least, I get to say goodbye before they left. Nakangiti pa akong bumaba ng sasakyan matapos maihatid ni ‘Tay Nelson pero nang makasabay kong pumasok sa main gate si Aven? Wala na. Everything got f*cked up and my smile literally dropped like a hot potato. Puwede naman siyang mauna sa akin sa paglalakad ngunit mas pinili niyang bagalan ang paghakbang kaya talagang nagkasabay kami.“Wow, I know that’s your resting face, but still—good morning!” bati niya at lalo pang tumabi sa akin.I aggressively shrugged my left shoulder to shoo him away without glancing at him, “F*ck off.”Bahagya naman siyang lumayo, “Uy, masamang nagmumura. Wala talagang preno ‘yang bibig mo, ‘no? Nag-good morning lang, e,” he chuckled.He’s talking to me like we are the extremely close friends in the entire universe when disgust and bitterness are obviously glued on my face!“So? Do I need to return the favor? Leave me alone. I’m on the f*cking edge of my scant patience for you, Alessandro. Hindi malabong bigla na lang kitang masakal sa pagka-imbyerna!” I glared at him ngunit imbes na masindak ay nakipag-titigan pa nga ito habang nakangisi.“Hindi ka ba talaga titigil?” I added.“Alessandro pa nga. Okay, okay!” Itinaas nito ang magkabilang kamay at binilisan ang paglalakad para mas mauna, ngunit nanatili pa ring nakaharap sa akin habang patalikod ang hakbang.“But I can’t promise that I’ll leave you alone. I’m sorry to break this to you but you’re stuck with me until the end of our high school journey, Prinsesa. Although, it depends on you kung gusto mo pa rin akong makasama hanggang college. If that’s the case, don’t hesitate to tell me.” As he slid his hands into his pockets and then he winked!I almost threw up seeing how disgusting his face was but I let that slide since he did leave me alone somehow. Lunch had passed and after the conversation we had this morning, hindi na kami muling nagka-usap. We still had to make interactions ‘tho since we were sitting next to each other, at madalas ay nagpapa-exchange paper lang naman kaysa magpa-clockwise kapag may quiz or activity.For some reason, hindi niya ako binibuwiset. Kahit sina Rico ay nagtataka rin na wala kaming fliptop battle ni Aven ngayong araw. They literally waited, ngunit wala talagang nangyaring ganoon. Hmm, ano naman kayang binabalak ng ugok na ‘yon?Masayang pumasok ng classroom sina Migz at nakasakay pa sa likod nito si Rico.“Guys! Sabi ni Talanza, hindi na raw muna siya magka-klase ngayon. Puwede na raw tayong umakyat sa ComLab since E-Tech naman daw ang next subject natin,” excited na balita ni Rico.“Saka, magka-klase agad si Sir Canlas. Siya na lang daw gagamit ng time ni Sir Talanza,” Migz added.“Weh, totoo ba? ‘Pag ako, napagalitan na naman sa kalokohan niyo, ha,” banta ni Angelou ngunit handa naman ng lumabas ng classroom dala-dala ang kaniyang binder notebook.“Oo nga! Kunwari pa ‘tong si President, handa ka na ngang umakyat, oh? Sabik sa aircon yarn?”If I know, na-uto na naman nila ang matandang guro. Ugali pa man din nilang alaskahin ito sa kadahilanang nakakabagot itong magturo at madalas pang magkuwento tungkol sa buhay niya. Well, sometimes, it kinda helps. I’d be lying kung sasabihin kong never akong na-bored sa klase ni Sir Talanza.Palabas pa lang ako ng classroom nang biglang sumunggab sa akin si Kheena na siyang ikina-atras ko. Anak ng tinapa, wala ba silang klase at dito na naman siya nanggugulo? Sa pag-atras ko na ‘yon ay may nabangga ako sa likod ko. I looked back and was about to apologize when I saw Aven’s annoying face.Kunot-noo ko siyang sinipat. “Sorry,” labas sa ilong na paghingi ko ng tawad. “Nakikita mong mababangga ka na, bakit hindi ka na lang umiwas? Are you that stupid?”I know it’s my fault that I bumped into him but puwede naman siyang umiwas, ‘di ba? Isa pa, hindi ko naman sinadya at kung sinadya ko man, sisiguraduhin kong tatalbog siya hanggang sa pinakadulo ng Milky Way.“Nakatingin ako. But since ikaw naman ang babangga sa akin—syer! Why nort?” maarte niyang sabi, tipong tumatabingi pa ang nguso niya at bahagyang iniling ang kaniyang ulo.“Mukha ba akong nakikipag-biruan sa ‘yo, ha?”He was about to say something again nang biglang sumingit sa pagitan namin si Kheena. At dahil nga malaki ang height difference nila, bahagya siyang napayuko nang sabay kaming akbayan nito.“Balita ko, vacant niyo rin daw? Tara! Canteen muna,” Kheena said as she wiggled her eyebrows.Rico nodded.“Vacant namin kaso gagamitin ni Sir Canlas ‘yong time ni Sir Talanza, bale two hours ngayon ang klase namin sa E-Tech. So, hindi na rin siya vacant.”Hinawakan ko ang braso ni Kheena at inalis ‘yon sa balikat ko, “Ano na naman bang kailangan mo?”Sumimangot naman siya at bumitaw na rin kay Aven.“Ano ba ‘yan, bakit naman kayo magka-klase agad? KJ talaga ni Kalbo, plano ko pa sanang tumambay sa canteen, e!”Hindi ako sumagot at tuluyan na silang iniwan para umakyat sa third floor. Pagkabukas ko pa lang ng pintuan ng ComLab, sumalubong na agad sa akin ang lamig. Do’n ko lang napagtanto na nakalimutan ko pa lang dalhin ang sweater ko. Sa dinami-dami ba naman ng puwede kong maiwan, ‘yon pa talaga? Ang galing mo talaga, Cinderella.Nang maka-upo na lahat, nagsimula na rin agad mag-discuss si Sir. Medyo hindi ko lang makita ‘yong presentation niya, pero good thing binabasa niya muna ito bago ipaliwanag. Mataimtim akong nakikinig habang pasimpleng nilalabanan ang lamig at panginginig. Dahil nga sa walang kamatayang alphabetical order, nasa bandang likod ang puwesto ko. Kung hindi ba naman minamalas, halos katabi ko lang ang aircon at katabi ko pa si Aven. Paano ko kinakaya ang ganitong sitwasyon palagi? I don’t know either.Abala ako sa pakikinig nang biglang ipatong ng walang-hiya ang kaniyang hoodie sa hita ko. Really? Ngayon pa talaga na nasa kalagitnaan kami ng klase? Ayokong mapagalitan kaya imbes na singhalan siya ay pasimple ko na lang tinapon sa kaniya ang hoodie. Sinadya kong lakasan ang pagkakabato para madama niya ang pagka-irita ko. But then he did place it again on my lap! Do’n na ako napalingon sa kaniya.“Ano ba? Mukha ba akong patungan ng gamit mo, ha?” pabulyaw kong bulong.Hindi niya ako tinapunan ng tingin, humalumbaba lang ito at inayos ang kaniyang salamin.“Nanginginig ka.”“Oh, tapos? Anong pakialam mo?”I admit, it feels warm pero mas pipiliin ko pang manginig sa ginaw kaysa manghiram ng jacket sa kaniya. Tinapon ko itong muli pabalik sa kaniya but the hoodie end up landing on my lap again!I was ready to kick his leg when he yawned and whispered, “Your skirt seems shorter than usual. Takpan mo, nakikita ko hita mo.”Kumalat ang init sa mga pisngi ko dahil sa kahihiyan. Agad akong tumagilid ng upo, paharap sa aircon at inabot sa kaniya ang hoodie niya. Pasimple akong lumingon sa paligid at mukhang wala namang ibang nakarinig niyon bukod sa aming dalawa. Why does he have to point it out?! Kapag nasa classroom naman, wala naman siyang napapansing ganito, ah?“I-I don’t need it!” pagmamatigas ko pa.“Villantura and Velasquez! I’m discussing here in front, aren’t you aware?! Por que mga honor students kayo, ganiyan na kayo umasta?! Aba, ang taas naman talaga ng tingin niyo sa mga sarili niyo! Get out of my class, and stand outside until this class ends!”Mangangatuwiran pa sana ako pero wala naman nang silbi ang pagpapaliwanag, lalong-lalo na sa teacher namin na ‘to. Labag sa loob akong sumunod kay Aven na nauna nang tumayo para lumabas. Great, I just missed a double-hour class because of that jerk’s madness.Warmth crawled on my skin as soon as we got out of the Computer Lab, it was soothing. But the
That day, I went home frustrated and confused. Why would my heart pound faster and harder like that just because he held my hand? Nakapagtataka lang dahil hindi naman ako ganoon mandiri. Hindi na ako nag-abalang magpaliwanag kay Ana, I just walked out on them. I have no idea why I ran away but it feels like it was the right thing to do.Oo nga’t nakakatakot ang pelikulang pinanood namin. Ngunit hindi ‘yon ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ako makatulog nang maayos nitong mga nakaraang gabi. What he did wasn’t scary, it was disgusting as f*ck that it kept repeating in my mind and I don’t know what I should do to forget the feeling of his hand intertwined with mine.“Prinsesa—“I raised my hand in front of Rico’s face before he could even finish his sentence, “I’ll eat lunch alone, makaka-alis na kayo.”“Ha? Na naman? E, pero bakit muna? Ilang araw ka nang ganiyan, Cindz. Rinding-rindi na kami sa pagtatalak ni Kheena!”Pumalatak ako,“Walang dahilan, okay? Can’t you just go? It’s not like you
Despite of what Aven have reasoned out, Kheena looked at me unconvinced. Hindi na nakakagulat na sa kanilang dalawa ni Rico ay siya ang may mas malakas na radar pagdating sa mga bagay na tungkol sa aming dalawa ng paborito nilang kaibigan. Alam kong hindi ko rin naman siya matatakasan kaya hinila ko na lang ito at isinama papuntang library.Kinuwento ko kung bakit at kung paano nangyari na magkasama kami no’ng araw na ‘yon. Nabanggit ko rin sa kaniya ang tungkol kay Analice nang hindi sinasadya dahil sa pagkainis but of course, there’s no way I would tell her about that holding-hands part. Ano ako, hibang? I would never!“What?! E, gag—“Agad kong tinakpan ang kaniyang bibig at saglit na napapikit ng mariin. Pabulong ko siyang sinita, “Kheena, we’re in a freaking library! And please, huwag mo nang tangkaing mag-eskandalo just for that reason.”Uunahan ko na agad siya because knowing how crackhead she is, hindi malabong gano’n nga ang gawin niya. As expected, she’s really annoyed about
Am I sick? This sudden changes… hormonal, perhaps? O baka naman ay talagang ipinakulam na ako ni Aven? Lately, I’ve been feeling weird things, and I’m not happy that I kinda feel shy whenever I sense him steal glances from me. Well, for me, it’s really awkward for a person you hate the most to be suddenly look charming after an argument. Normal bang makaramdam ng hiya bukod sa galit kapag aksidenteng nagtatama ang mga mata niyo? I mean—D*mn, I hope that’s normal.“Guys, sino daw ang sasali sa volleyball at basketball, both boys and girls? By curriculum daw this year. Jusko, buti na lang ‘no? Kung by strands ay talagang lugi tayo. Ang dami kaya ng HUMSS students!”“Kung palakasan lang naman ng putok ay hindi natin kailangang mangamba. Roberto Diaz for the win! Ang hindi sumuporta, isu-subsob sa kili-kili ni Robi HAHAHAHAH!”Nalalapit na naman ang intramurals. I’m not into sports, wala akong ganap pero nagtatiyaga akong pumasok dahil sayang rin ang plus points sa attendance. I don’t enjo
“Work with your chemistry mga anak, okay? Good job, Ren. You walk like you’re in a real fashion show runaway, I love that. I hope you can teach Cindy how it’s done, hmm? You may now take a break. Be back at 1 PM.”Hindi ko alam na ganito pala ka matrabaho ang pagsali sa pageant. Akala ko naman no’ng sinabing magiging representative ako ng curriculum namin ay ire-represent ko lang talaga ang Grade 11 Curriculum, maglalakad lang sa stage at sasagot ng tanong ng judges. But yeah, it’s too late to back out now. Good thing, may experience na ‘tong partner ko and I think there’s still at least thirty-eight percent of chance na maipanalo namin ang pageant. Hindi na ako magugulat kung after the pageant madaming maghabol sa kaniyang mga scouts or modelling agencies.Naglalakad na kami ngayon pabalik sa mga classroom namin. Ren is a HUMSS student, magkatabi lang ang classroom namin since taga-HUMSS 1-A siya but it’s funny na hindi siya pamilyar sa akin. Either mahina ang social skills ko or tala
Hindi man nakapaglaro, mukhang nag-eenjoy naman si Kheena sa pang-aasar kay Rico. Kanina pa ito nagsisisigaw, chine-cheer ang kaibigang kanina pa nakaupo sa bench sa gilid ng court. Nasa bandang kanan kami ng bleachers at mula sa puwesto namin ay kitang-kita namin si Rico na halatang sabik nang humampas ng bola. Saklap naman no’n, todo praktis pa tapos sa huli bangko lang naman pala.“Go, Enrico! Sit properly, bogo!” sigaw pa ni Kheena sabay halakhak ng malakas. Kahit ‘yong mga katabi namin ay natatawa na rin sa paulit-ulit nitong isinisigaw. Napapatakip na lang ng mukha si Rico sa kahihiyan.Actually, wala sana ako ngayon dito dahil may practice kami para sa pageant. Kaso, kasali rin pala si Ren sa badminton players kaya after lunch na lang raw. ‘Buti naman ‘no, sa araw-araw ba naman na pagp-practice ng ngiti ay nangalay na ang panga ko. Ilang band-aids na rin ang dumaan sa sakong ko dahil kinailangan kong magtakong kahit practice pa lang upang tumibay ang tindig ko at hindi madaling
I hope Aven’s words distract me from being pathetically nervous but they didn’t. Ren and I are both on the opposite side of the stage wings. We’re supposed to meet halfway and then walk together for our introduction but after I had a glimpse of the crowd and heard the chaotic cheering of our curriculum, I feel like I won’t be able to walk properly. Am I shy? No. Do I have stage fright? I don’t know. It’s just… I don’t want to be laughed at.“Let’s welcome, the Grade 11 Curriculum!”When Ren took a step, I did too. Sinusubukan kong huwag tumigil sa kalagitnaan ng paglalakad dahil nga pinapanood na kami ng madla, parang ang hirap ihakbang ng mga paa ko ngunit pinipilit kong maglakad ng maayos. Oh please, I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of these people! Kung puwede ko lang kaltukan ang sarili ko ay baka kanina ko pa nagawa. F*cking stop panicking, Cinderella! D*mmit!Tuluyan nang bumigat ang aking kaliwang paa at no’ng mga sandaling ‘yon, akala ko talaga ay mapapahiya na ako ngu
A week later, just like what he said, he did come back on pestering me but his antics got worse—more silly and crazier! He transformed from being an unbothered piece of sh*t into his usual mischievous self again. And this time, walang araw na hindi ako umuuwing gusot ang mukha. ‘Yong kulit niya sa isang araw? Jusko, halos pang-dalawang linggo! Ewan ko ba, balak ‘ata ako nitong patayin sa sama ng loob. Hindi ko na nakakayanang manahimik na lang kapag naiinis ako sa kaniya kasi kapag ginawa ko ‘yon, posibleng ‘yong inis ko ay mauwi sa luha. Walang-wala talaga ang pagiging pikunin ko sa pagiging magulo niya.Minsan napapakurap na lang ako kapag bigla niya akong kikindatan habang nakikipag-harutan sa mga kaibigan niya at medyo ipinagpapasalamat ko naman na pasimple niya itong ginagawa. Kasi kapag nagkataon na may makapansin, lalo na si Rico? Paniduradong uulanin na naman kami ng pang-aasar dahil sa kalokohan niyang h*******k siya.“Prinsesa,” tawag sa akin ni Lynette, kaklase naming nakaup
I didn’t mean to raise my hand that day—the first time I caught her glaring at me with her beautiful brown-ish eyes. I was just yawning, stretching my arms, and about to go back to my seat when the teacher called my name to answer that Math flashcard. I can’t buy sweets for my sister because Mama doesn’t want us to talk with her or even go near her, so I was kind of happy and excited about that cheap chocolate. It was supposedly for Nish but when I saw her crying, I impulsively asked our teacher to give it to her.The fact that she’s a girl, I can’t help but panic and unconsciously put Nish in her shoes. What if she was my sister, would they have the same reaction? I don’t know why she hated me since that day but I didn’t bother to know the reason. I don’t care. At first, I don’t give a d*mn about it.Kahit palaging galit at nakasimangot sa tuwing magkasama o magkatabi kami, ang ganda pa rin talaga niya. Matalino pa! Masungit nga lang. Gusto ko talagang makipagkaibigan sa kaniya kaso a
Sa kabila ng lahat ng mga nangyari—simula noon hanggang ngayon na bumalik siya matapos mawala ng maraming taon, bakit nga ba ako umasa na hindi nagbago ang pagtingin niya sa akin? Bakit hindi ako nagtaka, na kahit hindi maayos ang paghingi ko ng tawad sa kaniya ay umakto lang siyang maayos na ang lahat sa amin, na para bang noon pa man ay malapit na ang loob namin sa isa’t-isa? How come he didn’t pushed me away when I tried to reach out to him? Everything went too fast, pero hindi ko agad naisip ang mga ‘yun dahil masyado akong nalunod sa bugso ng damdamin ko; Masyado akong nagpadala sa kat*ngahan ko.Dire-diretso akong pumasok sa bahay niya upang kunin lahat ng naiwan kong mga gamit. Wala na rin naman akong dahilan para bumalik pa dito. Wala na kaming dapat pang pag-usapan dahil sapat na ang nadatnan ko ngayong gabi para magising sa kahibangan kong ‘to. Kung ganito lang rin naman, mas mabuti nang lumaki ang anak ko nang walang kinikilalang ama. I’m going to keep the baby with or witho
The following days went well although, going back to my old routine—my life before Alessandro and I decided to live together doesn’t feel the same as before anymore. Like what we have compromised, we settle for texts and calls. But it makes me miss him more, it makes me want to see him and feel him so I keep making excuses to shorten the duration of our talks. Ayos lang naman no’ng una, pero no’ng napapansin kong palagi na siyang matamlay tuwing nagtatawagan kami at hindi niya na rin halos binabalik ang mga texts ko ay nalulungkot na ako. He’s obviously making time for me, pero anong ginagawa ko? Sinasayang ko ang oras niya imbes na ipagpahinga niya na lang ‘to.Getting up to get ready for work wasn't as refreshing as my usual weekday mornings with him. It feels like something’s missing doing things even if I’m used to doing them alone. It’s just been a few days yet I’m already longing for Alessandro’s warmth; I miss him.Unlike before, nagluluto na ako sa umaga upang makapag-almusal
Since none of us dared to start a conversation on our way home, the whole ride was painfully quiet; Both of us had our eyes on the road although, I was the only one who was watching the cars ahead of us like a fool. I couldn't stand how awkward it was, but I tried my very best to keep my mouth shut. I don't even have the right to at least lighten up the mood because in the first place, I was and I still am the reason why the atmosphere between us is uncomfy.I didn't refuse his proposal but my response was neither of "yes" and "no"—it was a "sorry", it turned out to be an apology when it wasn't suppose to be like that. Ang nonsense pero mabuti na ring wala akong naging matinong tugon. Magulo pa ang isip ko ngayon at ayokong pagsisihan kung anumang maging sagot ko kung sakali."That's alright, you don't need to be sorry. I understand." That's exactly what he said as he downheartedly nod his head and just pulled me close for a hug. I doubted that but then he genuinely looked like he wasn
We already dine like this before but right now, the atmosphere is way different than the last time. Something’s up, I can feel it. Naguguluhan man sa kung anong nangyayari ay isinantabi ko na lang muna ang pagtatanong at nagsimula na kaming kumain.Halos mapapikit pa ako sa sobrang sarap ng pagkaing nakahain sa harapan ko. I dramatically point a finger on my food as I chew. Siya ‘lagi ang nagluluto ng pagkain namin sa bahay niya kaya hindi ko na kailangan pang mag-isip, siguradong siya ang nagluto nito. Hindi ko alam kung sadyang talento niya lang ‘to o talagang ipinanganak siya para sa ganitong purpose, e. Jusko, ang sarap!I heard him let out some soft little giggles.“You like it? That’s one of my specialties.”I slowly nodded. “God, Alessandro… Please cook for me for the rest of my life,” I muttered in awe.I’m not good and I don’t usually give comments about what I eat since I often drink coffee the whole day instead of having an actual meal but every time I taste his dishes, I a
“Kung alam ko lang na iiyak ka ng ganito, hindi na sana ako nagkuwento. That’s why you were so mad at me when I tried to avoid the Migz question, wasn’t it?” He pecked on my forehead and then pulled me into a hug, letting me lean on his chest as he caressed my back as if it was his way of calming me down. “Alright, apology accepted. But all of that… It’s already in the past now, okay? Tapos na ‘yun. Let’s just focus on what we have today, hmm? Tahan na.”Okay, maybe it’s all already in the past but it won’t ever change the fact that it happened. How narcissistic of me to think that he was a threat to me when it’s actually the other way around; I was the one who was a threat to him. Siguradong nakadagdag lang ako sa sakit ng ulo niya—dumagdag lang ako sa pinagdaanan niya. At sa kabila ng lahat, ni isang beses ay hindi ko siya narinig na nagreklamo. Hindi niya ako sinisi at sinumbatan ‘gaya ng ginawa ko sa kaniya noon at nagawa niya pa akong patawarin ng basta-basta. Hindi naman sa ayaw
I’m not sure if that ‘workmate’ word repetition was just a dream or if it really happened but when I woke up the following day, our arms are both encircling each other’s waists already. I swear I felt something slightly rough on my face earlier and I am certain, it was his stubbles. Positively, he was smooching me while I was still asleep.Bumungad sa akin si Aven na seryoso ang mukhang nakatitig sa mukha ko. He wasn’t even startled when he saw that I’m already awake. Still his arms around my waist, he gently draws small circles on my lower back with his finger—a very cuddly gesture yet he’s keeping a straight face. Napaawang ako at babatiin na sana siya ng magandang umaga nang maalala kong hindi pa nga pala kami bati. Ahm… So, what now? Hindi pa ba kami bati sa lagay na ‘to?“Ano? Nasa’n na ang morning kiss ko? Pati ba naman ‘yun ipagkakait mo sa akin? Hindi ka na nga nag-goodnight kiss sa akin kagabi, e.”I remain staring at him for a while and then snuggled against his chest. Napapi
Holding hands, we strolled as some staff showed us around. Soothing fresh air, and dancing trees all over the place. This is indeed a paradise, it’s like being in a place between beauty on land and in water. Maa-appreciate talaga ang kagandahan ng lugar dahil hindi gaanong ma-tao. Kapansin-pansin rin ang pag-iingat ng may-ari upang huwag masyadong gawing moderno ang kapaligiran.“You like it here? I mean…” He scratched his brow, “ I just thought this staycation could compensate for the stressful week you've had.”Mangha ko siyang nilingon. “Are you kidding me? I love it here! Have you been here before? This is the most relaxing place I’ve ever been to.”Not to sugarcoat nor exaggerate things but this is really the best place I’ve ever been to. Well, I don’t give myself breaks often because for me that's just a waste of time and I don't think I deserve those. Even after I graduated college and passed the board exams, naghanap agad ako ng trabaho. Tumatak na sa aking isipan na kapag abal
Having a quite heavy workload kind of helps me to drift away from overthinking. Yes, it is exhausting but at least I’m not as restless as I am when I’m having sleepless nights, doing nothing but stress about things I shouldn't exaggerate in the first place.Actually, I've already decided to confront him but I just can't do it. Pinangungunahan ako ng takot ko at alam kong hindi dapat ako nagpapadaig sa mga naiisip ko ngunit ayoko rin naman na masyadong magpa-kampante. Either what we have is real or he’s just playing around, but it could be neither of these.Even after all the assurance Aven's been showing or telling me, ang dami pa rin talagang "what if's" na naglalaro sa aking isipan. Alam kong kung may isang tao man na gustong malaman kung anong bumabagabag sa akin, it’ll be Aven. But I have no plans on telling him about it, I don't want him to think or feel that I don't trust him. I trust him, I just can’t help having doubts. Maybe it’s too soon to decide for that, at baka kaya ko pa