Chapter Two

Chapter Two

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly considering I didn’t actually do much. Ryan had come home about half an hour ago, I made him dinner and he left me alone, so far, so good. I made an excuse to go to my room and he didn’t ask any questions. 

I decided to just watch some tv until it was late enough to go to bed. This was literally my life and it fucking sucked. I turned on Netflix and just found a random documentary to keep myself busy. 

It was only about 20 minutes in when I heard Ryan come up the stairs and I paused the TV and froze, Silently praying and begging that he wasn’t going to come in. I listened carefully, trying to work out where his footsteps were going. I hadn’t even realised I was holding my breath until I heard his bedroom door close and I let out the biggest gasp. 

Christ, I nearly suffocated myself!

I unpaused the show and snuggled down, getting comfortable. I knew Ryan, once he had gone to his room, that was it, he was in for the night and now I could really relax. As I laid there, getting snuggly, I found my eyes glancing over at the open computer. 

I had managed to forget all about those emails all day, but now I’ve noticed the computer again… It was all I could think about. I shook my head, telling myself to have some god-damn self-control. 

...but the more I tried not to think about it, the more I couldn’t STOP thinking about it. 

No, I refuse to go over there and read the rest of the emails. None of them left were from Alexander so what was the point?! I turned over onto my stomach and pulled my pillow under my body so that I could be more comfortable. 

Staring at the TV, I could feel my eyes getting heavy and smiled. I was getting sleepy and that was good because it meant the sooner I went to sleep... The sooner it was another day down. 

…. And right now, life was all about just surviving day-to-day. 

****

I felt myself roll over in my sleep and it woke me up. Sure enough, when I opened my eyes, I was staring at the ceiling and instantly closed my eyes again. 

I was wrong… I wasn’t safe… 

I felt the familiar tug and pull as Ryan started removing my clothes and it was like my body went into automatic mode. I became numb and only moved when I knew I had to. I had learned over the years to just ‘’cooperate’’ and it will be over sooner. 

I turned my head and looked at the wall. Every time, my eyes went to the same spot and they didn’t move until he was done… 

****

I laid in bed, I hadn’t gone back to sleep after Ryan left last night. I never did after. I wasn’t afraid, I just... Couldn’t. It was like my body wouldn’t let me. 

I heard him leave and still didn’t move for another half an hour or so, but when I eventually did, I stipped my bed and put clean sheets on before heading to the bathroom for my daily morning shower. 

I hissed in pain as I climbed in but as soon as the water hit me, it was like everything that happened before that moment was instantly washed away. It still surprised me sometimes how I could ache and hurt for the whole day afterwards. You’d think my body was used to it all by now… 

I washed myself and then my hair and then it was time to get out. Much like yesterday, I found myself wrapped in a towel, sat in front of my computer but this time, even though I was so curious as to what else Jemma or dad needed to say... I just couldn’t bring myself to turn it on. 

I sat there for a good 20 minutes before getting up again and just going to get dressed. 

Bounding down the stairs just as the postman slipped some letters through the door, I picked them up and just dumped them on the table by the door before heading into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. 

I hadn't even had time to look for anything before the phone started ringing. I grabbed it quickly and answered it before checking to see who it was. 

‘Hello?’ I tucked the phone between my ear and shoulder and set about making myself a sandwich. 

‘Harley? Oh thank god, listen, we need you to come in and cover a shift, we are completely swamped and David phoned in sick!’. I rolled my eyes, annoyed. Something David did often, and it was always ME that was asked to cover his shift. I suppose... It's more money at the end of the month. 

‘Yeah, Ok, but I can’t get there for about an hour or so’. 

‘Ok, Ok, Just hurry!’. My boss hung up before I could say anything else. I finished making something to eat and headed back upstairs to find my uniform. 

I wasn’t all that annoyed. It kept me busy, but a bit of notice other than ‘’just hurry’’ would have been nice, But I suppose that wasn’t works fault. 

Once I had eaten and gotten dressed, I headed out to work, hoping it would only be for a few hours, but you never know. You could be rotated to work 4 hours and end up staying all day. 

I just had to tell myself ‘’money, money, money’’... and that’s what I just kept repeating in my head over and over again on my way to work...