Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven 

Someone shaking my shoulder broke me out of my random dream. I groaned and refused to open my eyes, but whoever it was didn’t let up. For a minute, I forgot where I was and my mind automatically went to thinking it was Ryan. As soon as the thought popped into my head, I shot up and the shadowy figure peering over me, quickly moved back. 

‘What the hell?!’ I asked confused and disoriented. I didn’t even realise I had fallen asleep. I wasn’t even tired. The room was pitch black. I leaned over and tapped the base of the lamp on the bedside table, instantly lighting the room up with a warm yellow glow and I saw it was just Jemma. 

‘Sorry darling, I didn’t want to disturb you, but we ordered some dinner, you must be starving’. As if answering for me, My stomach growled and she smiled. ‘Come on’. I rubbed my eyes and climbed off the bed. ‘Is that Alex’s jacket?’ She asked, looking me up and down, examining me. 

‘Gosh, this is embarrassing’. I admitted shyly, unzipping it but Jemma put her hands over mine, stopping me. 

‘No, it's not. You wear it if it makes you feel better’. I smiled at her, happy she understood and then followed her out of the room into the clubhouse where everyone was already sitting down. They had rearranged the tables in the bar to make one big one… 

It reminded me of the family dinner we had when I first came here, At Jemma and Ron’s house. 

I sat down next to Sarah and Jemma put a plate of food in front of me. I thanked her and as soon as she took her seat, not surprisingly at the head of the table, everyone picked up their forks and dug in… 

Dinner time was filled with random conversations between different people, but I just stayed silent. Cleo was back and after the altercation earlier, I didn’t want to say anything else that would offend her…

‘So, Harley, How long are you here for this time?’ Cleo, herself, asked as if reading my mind. I shifted uncomfortably as everyone’s eyes turned to me. 

‘Well... I guess it depends on what I need to help with but I have no plans on going back anytime soon’. I told her, hoping my answer was sufficient enough, but apparently not; 

‘Well, I hope when you do leave you don’t just cut everyone off like last time’. 

‘Cleo!’. Sarah snapped. 

‘What? It's a genuine question.’ She looked back at me, ‘Alex tried to contact you, Ron did, Jemma did, you ignored everyone’. 

‘Because I was trying to move on with my life’. I told her, sorta... Kinda... Not really.. Standing up for myself.

‘So we’re that forgettable?’ I could see she was pushing for another argument. 

‘No. I couldn’t forget anyone, least of all Alex. I missed him every day, I missed everyone every day’. 

‘Didn’t seem like it’. She started poking her food, making it clear she was done talking, but I wasn’t. 

‘You don’t know anything about me, or my life or what I go through daily. This, all of you, your way of life was and still is completely new to me. I came here to meet my dad, and instead ended up getting kidnapped! Beaten, I thought I was going to die. I was terrified! I couldn’t stay here after that, I didn’t feel safe and if you’re hurt because I didn’t keep in contact, to be honest, I don’t care. You might be used to that stuff happening, but I wasn’t. I loved Alex and I came back to help, so get off my case!’. 

She seemed speechless at my rant, as did everyone else sitting around the table. There was silence for a minute before Jemma broke it by announcing a reminder that the girls had to go and visit the guys tomorrow. 

‘Can I go?’ I asked shyly once everyone started their conversations again. 

‘Unfortunately sweetheart, you can’t. If you go and visit Alex or Ron, there will be a paper trail, a link from you to the club and our plan relies on you NOT being associated with us. If our plan works out, they will be home soon enough, ok?’ She reached out to touch my arm as if comforting me. I was gutted. It made sense but I would have loved to see Alexander. I just nodded and went back to eating. 

As dinner carried on, I stayed quiet as everyone talked about how excited they were to go and see the guys tomorrow. Sarah was taking the kids and they were just as excited to see Harry as she was. 

Jemma was talking to Cleo about sharing a car to go up and see Jackson and Ron. Everyone else was making the same arrangements and to be completely honest… I was jealous. I was so, so jealous.

But I kept my mouth shut, I kept eating my dinner and I just sat there, just wishing I could even just talk to Alexander and tell him how sorry I was for ignoring his emails, to explain, I knew he would understand my side, I just... Wanted to apologise, but I couldn’t even do that. 

I just tried to put it all to the back of my mind for now and just be happy for everyone else… 

***

Hours had gone by and everyone had gone home. Jemma asked if I was sure I didn’t want to stay with her, but I really didn’t. I felt comfortable here, I could do my own thing, I’d just feel really on edge in their home like I couldn’t relax properly or something… I don’t know. 

Either way, She was the last to leave and then it was just me and Chase, one of the new members. He was a ‘’keep quiet and keep to himself’’ type of guy, but something told me he would be able to handle anyone who was stupid enough to come here… in total, I felt safe. 

Once they were all gone, I headed back to my room and had a nice, scalding hot shower before changing into my Pyjamas and getting into bed. 

I worried I wouldn’t be able to sleep with the nap I had today but as soon as my head hit the pillow, my eyes felt heavy and I quickly drifted off to sleep…