Chapter One

Harper

I watch as my mother lays sprawled out on the patchwork sofa drunk again. It is the story of my life, she has one arm hanging down to the ground and a practically empty bottle of booze, Vodka I think, I can’t see the label hugged to her chest. Funny how she can manage to clutch on to a bottle of booze and nothing else. Her breathing is low, I wonder if it will be her last breath, do I care? I should but my mother has been a drunk ever since I can remember and a junkie, not the heroine kind no she likes cocaine and her boyfriends that come and go are her suppliers. I swear she only hooks up with low life deadbeats for her next fix. But yes, I would care, because you know what she is my mother, and she is the only mother I’ve got.

I want to shake her and wake her up, maybe if she’d managed to stay clean my father wouldn’t have left when I was just a kid, five years of age to be precise. It still hurts. I remember him holding me tightly to him and kissing me, telling me how much he loved me, how precious I was to him and how often he would see me. Which he did, I mean sure he works away a lot, he is in finance and travels with his business so nowadays I don’t get to see him all that much but he has always been and still is a good dad.

My phone buzzes in my denim cut off shorts. I take it out of my back pocket. Where are you, thought we were meeting up now. We’ve got an assignment to hand in tomorrow.

I bite my lip, shit I totally forgot what the time was. Instead of keeping track of it I have been reading in my bedroom and writing in my journal at times. Laying out all my hurt, anger and pain about my situation. I text Dylan back, he’s my ex-boyfriend. We dated for five years in High School and in college. We have managed to remain friends which is a good thing because right now I have nobody else. I have a couple of girlfriends, but I wouldn’t say we’re that close, not like Dylan and I. He became my best friend; I had liked him ever since my mom moved us here to Lincoln in the small suburb that is now home. His folks lived across the street, but now it’s just his father. His hot, sexy father I have to say. That man could melt your panties right off.

I’m not going to lie; I have had some serious dreams about his daddy. I daren’t tell anyone because you know he’s my ex’s daddy and all of that, and he is much older. Of course he would be, Dylan told me he was just seventeen when Dylan was born so that would make him thirty-seven to my twenty years of age. Anyway, I need to message Dylan back and get my shit together. We have a study date. I don’t want to be stuck in a hell hole like this forever.

He is majoring in Politics and I am studying business and finance, I want to take after my own father and work in a large corporation and travel the world and get out of dodge. I want the big house, the fancy car, I want to buy as much make-up, shoes and clothes as I want, not be in hand-me-downs forever. Kids used to poke fun at me at school, seriously I hated being at school.

If it wasn’t for Dylan always being there for me, I probably would have just skipped class all the time. But he was there for me, and I am grateful to him for that.

Sure, I am on my way. Sorry I got waylaid.

Your mother again?

Yeah, something like that. She is out stone cold on the sofa, total waste of fucking space.

Hey, that’s your mom all said and done, don’t speak about her like that. She needs help, Harper.

How can I help a woman who doesn’t want to help herself?

We can figure something out.

Yeah, we’ve been trying that for the last God knows how many years, it’s exhausting, it is mentally draining, and you know what, I just don’t think I can take it no more.

Come on over, my dad is here, he’s making his famous lasagna.

That buoys my spirits up some, the thought of watching Levi cooking and perving over him makes me warm down there and sends a rush of heat through my entire body. Shit, I need to get control of this, if Dylan even suspects I’ve got the hots for his daddy he will ditch me hotter than hot coals.

On my way. See you soon.

My mom calls out for me, I ignore her then feel like a complete loser myself so go grab a blanket from the chair near the sofa she is laying on and drape it over her.

“I have to go, Mommy, I’ve got study with Dylan.”

“Okay, Baby. See you later.” She drifts off again and I stare down at her tiny, frail body not even sure when it was, she ate last.

“Try to eat something, Mommy.” I bend down and kiss the top of her head. I know she can’t hear me, she’s out cold again. I move the bottle from her arm and leave it on the coffee table beside the sofa, that is strewn with cigarettes, an over full ashtray, an empty bottle of Brandy and an old note still rolled up from her doing lines last night. I shake my head. Help, how on earth can I get her help. We don’t have money, my father won’t help her anymore, she’s been in rehab several times over the years costing him a pretty dollar and for nothing. As soon as she is back out, she’s back on everything.

My bag is on the floor by the front door that needs painting, I sling it over my shoulder and close the front door quietly behind me. At least I can check Levi out, that’s something that will cheer me up. I am dying to tell my favorite girlfriend, Summer all about him but I know she’ll tell me I am gross for fancying an older man. I shrug my shoulders, who cares what they think. I don’t give a flying fuck.

Outside it’s already cool now that we are in Fall, the trees have turned color and displaying their brightness of reds, oranges, yellows and russets. Fall is my all-time favorite time of the year, the air is crisp and it’s such a welcome break from all the damn heat and humidity of the summer.

Dylan only lives across the road so it’s no shakes to walk across and be there in a couple of minutes. The door is open, I never need to knock, his father has always made me welcome and his mother. Only, his mother isn’t alive anymore. She died two years ago of cancer, it started in her breast but by the time they found it, well it had spread too far inside her body eating at her. It was a tragic time for them and honestly, I am not sure that Dylan and his daddy, Levi have recovered. How do you recover from something like that?

I can smell something delicious coming from the small kitchen at the back of the house. I know I ought to go upstairs straight to Dylan’s room where we always study but I can’t resist going into the kitchen where I know Levi will be.

He stands there at the cooker and takes my breath away. His curly, dark hair is tied into a man-bun, his tight black T-shirt fits him perfectly and outlines his tight body, his biceps are on display and fuck me, he is as hot as sin. I want to trail my fingers up his arms, touch the ink on his forearms that continue up and under the sleeves of his T-shirt. The familiar sensation of wetness is between my legs, my breath hitches. He glances up and looks at me, and winks. My legs almost go to jelly and buckle, fuck I want this man like I’ve never wanted any other man before. Not even Dylan. Sure, the sex was good with Dylan but I bet Levi knows exactly how to satisfy a girl.

“How you doing, Sunflower?” He asks, making me swoon for him. I love it when he calls me Sunflower. He said once that I am like the brightness of that flower representing summer and all things bright, on a dark and grey, miserable day.

“Er, yeah, I’m fine Mr Hudson.”

He cocks an eyebrow, fuck my panties are getting wetter, I am practically drooling at the way his tight black jeans hug his ass, I want to run my hands over it and then explore what he has tucked in the front.

“Levi. You call me Levi, Sunflower. Not Mr Hudson.”

I walk into the kitchen, wait what am I doing? I want to stand near him, I want to inhale him, he’s like a hypnotic drug and I can’t stop myself. He turns placing the wooden spoon down on the dish by the side of the hob. I can feel his eyes on my body as he looks from my eyes to my lips, down to my chest, his green, sultry eyes taking me in like a long, cold drink of lemonade. Quickly as if he realizes what he is doing, he turns away and coughs.

“Dylan is upstairs,” he tells me his voice gruff. There is only one reason it’s that way, because I am betting the sight of me in my tiny shorts even though it’s cooler outside and my tight, white button down is making him have a reaction to me that he wished he didn’t have.