Chapter 5

Harper

Damn, Levi sure is hot. I can feel my wetness in my panties. Being so close to him was such a thrill. I’ve been fantasizing about that man for years, I know it’s wrong because I was dating Dylan but hell, tell me a girl who hasn’t fantasized about their boyfriend’s daddy at one point in their life.

And anyway, it’s my business who I like and don’t like. I’m back home now, the house is quiet. My mother is where I left her, on the sofa. She needs help only I have no idea how to help her. My sister, Taylor and yes my mommy named her after Taylor Swift, is clearing up in the lounge as I step through the wooden door that needs mending. What my mommy needs is a good man to take care of her, but first we need to get her to clean up her act.

Taylor and I have tried getting her to see a doctor, to go to a rehab clinic and to go attend AA meetings, but my mother just gives up. She think’s it’s way easier to drown in a bottle than put in the hard work and face up to her life and start sorting her out. Yet, Taylor and I, well you know, our mother is our mother and we aren’t about to give up on her. Not yet in any case.

“Hey, Sis. Did you get much studying done at Dylan’s or are you two back on again?” Taylor is younger than me, she’s fifteen so five years age difference but she’s a fifteen-year-old, going on thirty in my opinion. She’s had a lot to endure just like me, it’s hard when your mother is an alcoholic.

“No, we’re not back on. I told you already, that’s over. We’re good friends that’s all. It just felt weird you know, it’s like he’s my bestie and to be honest I’m even surprised how long we dated for. Besides, I think he likes Lacey.” I put my bag of books down, hanging it off the end of one of the four dining room chairs which also need some tlc. The fabric is old and worn, I saw some nice fresh fabric in the shop down on Main Street that I’m going to buy when I get enough cash together and Taylor said she’d help me get them re-upholstered. We’re pretty good at upcycling, it's a case of having to since we don’t have much money.

I’ve got myself a job in the bakery early mornings before I go to college and it’s a killer working the shift from six in the morning until eight then heading over to college. Dylan offered to sub me some cash the other week, but it feels wrong to take his money, especially now we’re not you know, boyfriend and girlfriend.

Taylor grins a goofy grin, “yeah right. You two were made for each other.”

“What do you know, you’re still a kid?”

“Am not,” she brushes an auburn lock of hair away from her face and tucks it behind her ear. Where she gets that color hair from is beyond me, cause my mother is ice blonde just like me and we share the same corn blue eyes. Taylor’s eyes are the color of caramel with tiny green flecks in them.

“So are.” I turn and pick up some magazines that are on the floor by the sofa where my mother sleeps. “Has she eaten do you think?”

“Nope,” she pops the P. “Her lunch is still on the side; she hasn’t moved since you left.”

“Fucking great. We have to wake her up and at least try to get some food inside her. What’s for dinner? Did you cook anything already?” Taylor and I take it in turns to cook, there ain’t no point waiting on my mother, it will never happen. I do remember, however, when my mother used to cook, clean house, bake with me but that was before Taylor was born. My daddy left us when I was five and then it all went to total and utter shit. SHIT. There ain’t now way else to put it.

“I made some mashed potatoes, beans and some of those beef sausages you like.” I raise my eyebrows; beef sausages aren’t cheap.

“Where’d you get the cash for that from?”

“I took it from mom’s purse, she had her allowance the other day.”

“Right, okay that’s fine then. I’m hungry, let’s wake her.” I move towards my mother; Taylor removes the bottle from her clutches that rests on her chest. “Mom. Mom.” I shake her a little, she doesn’t move. I check for a pulse in her neck, you know to make sure. I dread the day that she may not wake up and has drunk herself to death. It’s something Taylor and I have to live with, that’s our life. It sucks but we don’t have a choice. “MOM,” I shout at her. At least it causes her eyes to flicker open, slightly.

“What is it baby?”

“You need to wake up, Momma, you have to eat.”

“No eat.”

“Yes, come on, please.” She tries to move me away but she’s too weak. My mother must way nothing more than a feather. It’s shocking to see her hip bones protrude through her jean clad legs, and how her rib cage shows through her halter top. Damn she must be cold; I mean it’s fall right now and we don’t exactly have the cash for round the clock heating.

“Taylor, give me a hand and help get her sitting upright.”

“Sure.” She comes towards me and together we put our arms around her mother, Taylor moves mom’s hair away from her face. “She needs a shower, Harp.”

“I know. One thing at a time, Sis. Let’s at least get her fed. You want to spoon feed her, or should I?”

“I’ll do it so you can eat and study if you need to.”

“I’m clear rest of the evening. Don’t worry, I know you have plenty of homework to get through. Say I spoon feed her then eat, give you time to eat and get your homework done.”

“Deal.”

Mom is now sitting upright, her head lolls back on the top of the sofa, it’s a start. She isn’t resisting us too much; not like she sometimes does. It’s hard being the daughter of an alcoholic, so fucking hard. But I love my mother, she has my heart and I’ll never let her down. Tomorrow, I’ve got a meeting with a counsellor at the college I attend, I’m hoping she will give me some guidance on what we can do for my mother.

Taylor serves the food for us and places mom’s on a plastic plate and hands me the plastic cutlery, we have to be careful because my mom sometimes goes into an alcoholic rage and it’s best not to have anything dangerous anywhere near her. Mom opens her mouth and allows me to feed her, it’s a long and slow process but finally she’s done which means I can let her be for a while until I’ve finished my own dinner.

“I nuked it for you, Harp.”

“Thanks, Taylor. Go do your homework I’ll see to mommy and get her showered and into her bed.”

My kid sister is a diamond, she’s a real gem. Her heart is full of love, and she shines like a ray of sunshine. Despite the hardship we have at home, she always has a smile on her face, she’s always willing to help. I groan as I try lift my mother and carry her up the stairs to her bedroom. Once she’s on the bed, I make work to undress her trying not to be shocked by her skinniness, it’s scary. Dylan gave me some protein shake that he said he didn’t want anymore, I reckon he was just being special nice to me. He told me to make sure I get my mother to drink it a couple of times a day, I can add water or milk. Later after her shower, I’ll be sure to make her a shake drink and add banana to it.

The shower water is warm, I undress myself to my bra and panties, all thoughts of Levi and his Godlike body now forgotten as I manage to help my mother stand under the warm stream of water and wash her. Thankfully she is fully compliant. Twenty minutes later, mom is in a nightgown and tucked up in bed, under the quilt my grandma made for my mother for her wedding day to my daddy. It’s a beautiful baby blue base with wedding rings, they call it a wedding quilt. It saddens my heart that my mommy and daddy had to get divorced, the lump forms in my throat. It doesn’t matter that it was fifteen years ago, it still motherfucking hurts.

Back in my own room I throw myself on the bed, after I’ve changed my underwear and put on my pink tartan pajama shorts and an old pink T-shirt, my comfy clothes and close my eyes allowing thoughts of Levi to enter my mind. I imagine him kissing me, his full, soft lips, the way his eyes look all dark and brooding when he takes me in. Yeah, I have noticed the way that man looks at me and I fucking love it. The arousal starts in my groin, butterflies begin in my stomach and that familiar sensation of warmth creeps up between my legs through my entire body. From the bedside cabinet near my bed, I fumble around until I locate my bullet, flick it on and hold it to my clit. Fuck me, fuck, the erotic feeling of the bullet against my clit, the vibration makes me bite my lip. I want Levi’s cock fucking me so bad, his mouth sucking and teasing my nipples. They ache for him to suck on them, I reach up with my spare hand and play with my tits, squeezing hard on my budded nipples as I tease myself relentlessly with my vibrator. It takes all of about ten minutes for my body to start feeling like it’s convulsing as I bring myself to climax with my bullet, my legs are sticky from my own pussy, I’m so slick as the wave rides over my body. I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand, I don’t want Taylor to know I’m giving myself a good seeing to.

My legs tremble from the sheer enormity of my orgasm, I delve two fingers inside my wetness and bring them up to my mouth sucking on them, imagining I’ve got Levi’s thick, throbbing cock in my mouth.