CHAPTER SEVENHelen.We organized a meet and greet. I have been sitting all day smiling, signing books and listening to my readers talk about their favorite characters. The residue of the joy and fulfillment I felt as I listened to them is still bouncing as a ball in my heart. They talked about the suspense, they connected with the journey of the main characters and their romance.Philip has been helpful. He has not felt like my boyfriend recently. He has been a bit distant, seeming like just my agent. Everything happening between us makes me so guilty. His worries could be understandable, but he should trust me to handle myself.Why would he? I don't even trust myself.One after the other, the same way questions I ask, in the same format I put it down. Today is not my best day. I would rather be soaking in a bubble bath than listening to people judge Evelyn's character in my book. She was my favorite. She chose not to love again and so what? She chose to be loyal both to her best fri
CHAPTER EIGHTDavidCheers fill the air as Martin scores once again. I wince and move back holding a long neck beer in hand. I'm experiencing a dull ache inside my head and this place only worsens my state. Martin flashes his eyes around and when he spots me, he smiles and returns to his snooker game. He dragged me here after he picked me from the rehabilitation program Helen got me into. I don't feel like myself tonight, not just because of the way my body feels presently, but everything. It is all happening to me and it seems like it's not me. I would have called it a dream if I never held a toothbrush that was for hygiene and at the same time a weapon with a blade at its end in prison. I would have called it a dream if I was not stripped to be searched and butt naked, I stooped and coughed. It just hits me that as I walk into places I wouldn't have before, that my life has changed. This was happening to me. I sat in a room filled with ex prison inmates and listened as they shared
CHAPTER NINEHelenThe sink is filled with used plates. I don't know why my cooking always has to be messy. Philip suggested I hire a cook since I can afford it without David's money. I have not considered that because even though I hate cooking, I can fix myself food. I just pick a day and make meals which I store in the freezer for a week. Sometimes it lasts more than a week because I buy take outs."Shit!" I curse as I innately put my finger in my mouth to calm the sting of the burn. This was the second time I was burning myself while forgetting I needed rags to bring out the pan from the oven. I walk to the tap and put my hand under the running water as I stare out through the window. This is usually the time David works on the lawn, when the sun makes the sweat at his back glisten. These days I watch him through the window and I can easily remember what he looked like naked. In my bed. My perverted mind recalls vividly as I watch him—The tightening of his core, the rigidity of h
CHAPTER TEN David I would have thought Mrs Smith was in a bad mood or she was giving me ex-convict treatment if I didn't know better. She was one of those people who showed hard love. "You want to be a child so Helen can spoon food into your mouth," she says, setting up the BP apparatus. Helen is sitting on another cushion. My gaze rests on her and she moves her eyes away. Helen gets to her feet, wiping her hands on her sweat pants. "I'll be in the other house, Incase you need me." She is looking at Mrs Smith, not me. "Oh no, darling," Mrs Smith says, strapping my arm with the rubber cuff. "I need you now." Helen nods and sits back with her eyes moving about the place. I can tell she would rather not be here. I feel bad that I'm taking her away from other engagements she could have, but for a chance to stare at my wife without being at the receiving end of her anger, I will be sick again. Mrs Smith gets done with checking my blood pressure and she gives me a stern look. "You're
CHAPTER ELEVENHelenPhilip does not want to hear me out. He is the judge and jury all in one. This is what we have become. From agents to friends, to fuck buddies, to fuck buddies demanding attention and commitment from one another. This is not working. I stop talking because all the while we have both been talking trying to top our voices. I told him I have nothing to do with David but he rather remains strong in his own convictions."It's crazy, Helen," he says, pushing the flower in his hands into my hands with a gift bag. "I was expecting so much from you when you are a woman who cheated on your husband with me.""Philip, what was that?" I ask, throwing the contents in my hand in his face. He dusts himself with his eyes on me and I stare back fuming and shaking with anger. Who was this man on my doorstep, what did I have with such a person, how did I get here?"You heard me, Helen. Your mother is a slut after all," Philp says with a smirk. I lunge forward, swinging my hand at him
CHAPTER TWELVE Helen The sprinklers on the lawn are on. I stay away from the window because I know who and what I would see if I look out. Julie sits on a stool in my kitchen staring at the garden in the back yard. I walk into the kitchen and pour some juice into her glass. She takes a sip of the drink and munches her pancake. "It tastes so good," she says, nodding with her mouth stuffed. With a smile, I take my plate of pancakes and the rest of the juice and walk to a table in the living room, urging her to follow me. She sits opposite me at the table with bar stools. With the way I called her, she must have felt something was wrong with me. Truly, something had been. Everything had been wrong till David came over last night. As I take a bite of my pancake, I wonder if I should tell Julie about last night— about Philip, about David. She might not grasp what was going on within me. Her eyes float to the window and then back to me. She points at the window. "So that's my brother wor
THIRTEENDavidUneasily I pace from one end of the room to another with the phone in my ear. I have just gone to our former house to pack up most of my files and there are litters of it all over the table, the cushions and to the ground."You keep asking me this question expecting me to suddenly realize who wants me dead. I don't know anyone that would want me dead," I say matter-of-factly, without leaving the irritation out of my voice.Parker, the private investigator working on my case, his silence from the other end of the phone annoys me further than his lack of results since I hired him. "Next time you call me, please have something," I say."Your wife," he says, his voice sounding disembodied. "You run a joint account with her, yes?"I fold one arm and nod already getting defensive before he drives home his point. "Well, doesn't she have something to gain from putting you away?""What will she gain from that?" I ask, rolling my eyes."Wealth ofcourse," he says. "So she can be w
FOURTEEN Helen The chauffeur David hired came a little late. He is a young white man with a chubby body and full beards covering the sides of his face. David handed him the keys to his black sedan without probing him about his lateness then he opened the car door for me to step in. He is in a black shawl lapel tux without a bowtie, leaving his first two buttons open. He seemed to be aiming at casually handsome and he looked like he achieved it. I didn't know how much I loved to see beards on a man till David started growing out his beard which he also shaved to a low even carving around his face. I am wearing the brown strapless gown we had dismissed at first, with my chest nut brown hair which is packed into a pony tail with a few loose curls falling over my face. I look 'brownish'. The gown has a few ropes at the back, but my back is almost as good as bare so whenever David's hands lightly stays there, I feel all exposed to him. He has always been the one with more control, this t
CHAPTER SIXTEENMy phone pings inside my bag. It's from Julie, her usual dancing sticker. I reply with one of my best stickers, sticking out a tongue, then I push back the phone into my bag as I look around the restaurant. There's a queue of people waiting to buy coffee. I was in that queue five minutes ago, drained my first cup of coffee and now I'm tempted to step into line for a second one. I need it to stay pumped with all the meetings I have lined up today, both physical and online meetings. I have always thought of hiring an assistant, but I have never gone through with it. Without knowing it, Philip had actually filled in for that role in the past and now that he's no more. Not like he's dead, just never going to work with me anymore— I now appreciate the things he did, but no regrets. I don't know if Julie would like to take up the offer. I don't trust strangers to handle my personal business effectively. The agent I'm here to meet is not yet here, and a cloud of doubt is beg
CHAPTER FIFTEEN–DavidThe last I remember, the cushions here were cream or something close, but now it's in a popping burgundy color while the drapes are still cream color. Helen has never had a favorite color, she dabbles in anything that excites her for that moment. If she plans to stay here for long, I know she will have the cushions refolded occasionally.The flower that was on a cabinet at the side of the room is now absent. With a little relief I smile, adjusting the collar of my shirt. My eyes jump to the stairs as Helen hops down. Her evening dress is gone, now replaced by an ankle length floral satin gown that very well pronounces the slender curve of her hips and the swell of her bust which gazes out from the tip of her dress. Her hair is still packed the same way, but a few strands has left the hold and they fall over her face while some peep out from the back and the sides of her ear."What do you think we should have for dinner?" she asks, swishing past me to the kitchen
FOURTEEN Helen The chauffeur David hired came a little late. He is a young white man with a chubby body and full beards covering the sides of his face. David handed him the keys to his black sedan without probing him about his lateness then he opened the car door for me to step in. He is in a black shawl lapel tux without a bowtie, leaving his first two buttons open. He seemed to be aiming at casually handsome and he looked like he achieved it. I didn't know how much I loved to see beards on a man till David started growing out his beard which he also shaved to a low even carving around his face. I am wearing the brown strapless gown we had dismissed at first, with my chest nut brown hair which is packed into a pony tail with a few loose curls falling over my face. I look 'brownish'. The gown has a few ropes at the back, but my back is almost as good as bare so whenever David's hands lightly stays there, I feel all exposed to him. He has always been the one with more control, this t
THIRTEENDavidUneasily I pace from one end of the room to another with the phone in my ear. I have just gone to our former house to pack up most of my files and there are litters of it all over the table, the cushions and to the ground."You keep asking me this question expecting me to suddenly realize who wants me dead. I don't know anyone that would want me dead," I say matter-of-factly, without leaving the irritation out of my voice.Parker, the private investigator working on my case, his silence from the other end of the phone annoys me further than his lack of results since I hired him. "Next time you call me, please have something," I say."Your wife," he says, his voice sounding disembodied. "You run a joint account with her, yes?"I fold one arm and nod already getting defensive before he drives home his point. "Well, doesn't she have something to gain from putting you away?""What will she gain from that?" I ask, rolling my eyes."Wealth ofcourse," he says. "So she can be w
CHAPTER TWELVE Helen The sprinklers on the lawn are on. I stay away from the window because I know who and what I would see if I look out. Julie sits on a stool in my kitchen staring at the garden in the back yard. I walk into the kitchen and pour some juice into her glass. She takes a sip of the drink and munches her pancake. "It tastes so good," she says, nodding with her mouth stuffed. With a smile, I take my plate of pancakes and the rest of the juice and walk to a table in the living room, urging her to follow me. She sits opposite me at the table with bar stools. With the way I called her, she must have felt something was wrong with me. Truly, something had been. Everything had been wrong till David came over last night. As I take a bite of my pancake, I wonder if I should tell Julie about last night— about Philip, about David. She might not grasp what was going on within me. Her eyes float to the window and then back to me. She points at the window. "So that's my brother wor
CHAPTER ELEVENHelenPhilip does not want to hear me out. He is the judge and jury all in one. This is what we have become. From agents to friends, to fuck buddies, to fuck buddies demanding attention and commitment from one another. This is not working. I stop talking because all the while we have both been talking trying to top our voices. I told him I have nothing to do with David but he rather remains strong in his own convictions."It's crazy, Helen," he says, pushing the flower in his hands into my hands with a gift bag. "I was expecting so much from you when you are a woman who cheated on your husband with me.""Philip, what was that?" I ask, throwing the contents in my hand in his face. He dusts himself with his eyes on me and I stare back fuming and shaking with anger. Who was this man on my doorstep, what did I have with such a person, how did I get here?"You heard me, Helen. Your mother is a slut after all," Philp says with a smirk. I lunge forward, swinging my hand at him
CHAPTER TEN David I would have thought Mrs Smith was in a bad mood or she was giving me ex-convict treatment if I didn't know better. She was one of those people who showed hard love. "You want to be a child so Helen can spoon food into your mouth," she says, setting up the BP apparatus. Helen is sitting on another cushion. My gaze rests on her and she moves her eyes away. Helen gets to her feet, wiping her hands on her sweat pants. "I'll be in the other house, Incase you need me." She is looking at Mrs Smith, not me. "Oh no, darling," Mrs Smith says, strapping my arm with the rubber cuff. "I need you now." Helen nods and sits back with her eyes moving about the place. I can tell she would rather not be here. I feel bad that I'm taking her away from other engagements she could have, but for a chance to stare at my wife without being at the receiving end of her anger, I will be sick again. Mrs Smith gets done with checking my blood pressure and she gives me a stern look. "You're
CHAPTER NINEHelenThe sink is filled with used plates. I don't know why my cooking always has to be messy. Philip suggested I hire a cook since I can afford it without David's money. I have not considered that because even though I hate cooking, I can fix myself food. I just pick a day and make meals which I store in the freezer for a week. Sometimes it lasts more than a week because I buy take outs."Shit!" I curse as I innately put my finger in my mouth to calm the sting of the burn. This was the second time I was burning myself while forgetting I needed rags to bring out the pan from the oven. I walk to the tap and put my hand under the running water as I stare out through the window. This is usually the time David works on the lawn, when the sun makes the sweat at his back glisten. These days I watch him through the window and I can easily remember what he looked like naked. In my bed. My perverted mind recalls vividly as I watch him—The tightening of his core, the rigidity of h
CHAPTER EIGHTDavidCheers fill the air as Martin scores once again. I wince and move back holding a long neck beer in hand. I'm experiencing a dull ache inside my head and this place only worsens my state. Martin flashes his eyes around and when he spots me, he smiles and returns to his snooker game. He dragged me here after he picked me from the rehabilitation program Helen got me into. I don't feel like myself tonight, not just because of the way my body feels presently, but everything. It is all happening to me and it seems like it's not me. I would have called it a dream if I never held a toothbrush that was for hygiene and at the same time a weapon with a blade at its end in prison. I would have called it a dream if I was not stripped to be searched and butt naked, I stooped and coughed. It just hits me that as I walk into places I wouldn't have before, that my life has changed. This was happening to me. I sat in a room filled with ex prison inmates and listened as they shared