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Chapter 6: Falling Into Place
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2023-01-03 22:04:41Related chapters
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 7: Living The Dream
When I got home that day my parents were already there and mom had already prepared dinner for us. I sent them a text earlier saying that I was auditioning for a new band and after when I got the drummer position. They had always been supportive of all my undertakings especially my passion for playing the drums. They had paid for my drum lessons and had patiently drove me to and from gigs that usually ended late. Mom and dad worked really hard and usually went home late but they always tried their best to make time for me. I knew that they had their flaws but to me they were the perfect parents and I loved them very much. "Hi, sweetie! Welcome home! I got your text earlier and told your dad that we should surprise you. I made your favorite, chicken carbonara," mom affectionately greeted me when I entered the front door. She probably heard me coming in and had left the kitchen in a hurry because she still had her apron on. "Thanks, mom. You know me too well," I replied smiling wi
Last Updated : 2023-01-03The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 8: Appreciating The Mundane
Gigs and weeks passed by and slowly, the first semester was coming to a close. By now Adrian, JD, Warren, Spence and I had finally gotten so used to one another that we could already read each other's minds during our performances. The fans and groupies had also seemed to accept me as the newest addition to their favorite band. And now that I had adjusted to my role as their new drummer, I always seemed to look forward to our band practices and gigs. I knew that many people would have killed to be in my position all because my bandmates were the coolest guys on campus. Like moths to a flame, everybody was attracted to them and was fascinated by them. They were always treated like rock gods and people constantly wanted to be around them all the time. I don't want to sound like a traitor to my band or ruin the idea that most people have about my bandmates but once you get to know them better and start spending more time with them, you would be surprised to know that they really are ju
Last Updated : 2023-01-03The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 9: Balancing School and Play
The next few days turned out to be completely hectic for all of us. Projects and exams headed our way so band practices had to be postponed or cancelled. Even if some of us were available, we would always be lacking one or two members. In the end, we all decided that it would be best to just practice on our own for a while. JD and Adrian were both working on business projects. Spence had to do a report on one of Picasso's paintings of Marie Therese while Warren had to interview his uncle for reference on a paper he was doing about the life of a politician. On my end, I had to prepare for exams and submit a book report for my English Literature class. Our professor, Ms. Borja, had given us a long list of book titles to choose from. Classic books written by some of the greatest literary authors of all time graced the list and no two titles were the same. She had written them all into several small pieces of paper and placed them in a bowl. Once a certain book was picked out, it was
Last Updated : 2023-01-03The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 10: Colliding With An Old Rival
Wednesday. It was finally time to submit my book report on Great Expectations. As I handed in my five-paged report to Ms. Borja, I breathed a sigh of relief. I went through a lot to finish my report, struggling with a roller coaster of emotions and several all too familiar parallelisms along the way, but I overcame everything and came up with a report that I was proud of. Though it was somehow bittersweet that it was over, I knew that I would always remember the life and love lessons from Great Expectations. Yeah, I know. I was sentimental like that. Anyway, since most of our school work was done, we could now focus on band practice and prepare for the upcoming battle of the bands. It was the second week of October, 2006 and only seven days were left before Band Clash. We would be competing against some of the best college bands in the metro so it was obviously nerve wracking for all of us. Understandably, band practice had gone into overdrive and we were meeting everyday. It wa
Last Updated : 2023-01-03The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 11: Defying The Odds
Seven days had gone by and sleep was constantly evading me. I've been stressing out these past days and it has really affected my performances during practice. I really needed my friend Leslie right now but unfortunately, she was on vacation with her parents. Ugh! Why did she have to be on vacation right now? But with or without Leslie, now I had to set my anxieties aside as the day for Band Clash 2006 has finally arrived. West Lane's own concert hall was the venue for this music extravaganza since our school had the equipment and the space to accommodate a huge crowd. It was about six pm when I peeked behind one of the stage's curtains. I held my breath when I saw that people had started arriving to the venue, filling the seats to a maximum capacity. It was a Friday so naturally the majority of those watching would be students. Relax, Maddie! You've played for crowds like this before. While the entire concert hall was filled with excitement, behind the curtains was no differen
Last Updated : 2023-01-07The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 12: Getting Closer
"Madison...Maddie, they're calling for us." I was startled when somone called my name. When I looked up, I couldn't believe who that someone was...it was Adrian! His voice was now really hoarse so I didn't recognize it immediately. He was looking straight at me and holding out his hand. Didn't this happen already? Flashbacks from Orientation Day suddenly came to mind. Déjà vu? Adrian was now motioning for me to take his hand and after a long while...I finally gave in and took it. He helped me up but I did not let go just yet. His hand felt incredibly warm in mine and it felt right somehow. "Ahem!" He loudly cleared his throat and I immediately pulled away. "Ah...sorry about that," I apologized. "Don't worry about it. By the way, thanks for saving me earlier. I owe you one." He didn't even turn to look at me when he said that because he was already rushing to get back on stage. I hurriedly followed after him, smiling to myself all the while. When I got to the stage, our
Last Updated : 2023-01-07The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 13: Melting A Frigid Heart
I had been alternately sleeping and studying through most of the weekend. So when Monday came, I had fully regained my energy and had enough preparation time for finals week or "hell week" as we liked to call it. Leslie had come back from her vacation and I was dying to tell her all the details of the recently concluded battle of the bands and my recent closeness with Adrian. But I guess that it will have to wait until much later because right now, I had exams to worry about. For the first two days of hell week, I had minor subjects to go through and for the last three days, the major ones. When the first day ended, I was already pretty much spent from answering essays, fill in the blank questions, and multiple choice items. I had already asked Leslie to go with me on Saturday for the victory party so we decided to go on a little shopping spree and headed straight for our favorite mall after class to unwind and find the perfect outfits. And while we shopped, I started telling Les
Last Updated : 2023-01-07The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 14: Celebrating With Champagne and Roses
I couldn't believe how much time has passed since I met Adrian and the rest of The Decadence of The Fallen. It's been more than a year now but somehow, it feels longer. We celebrated birthdays together. We supported each other through our failures. We cheered each other on with every difficulty we faced. We've been through so much already. The ups. The downs. The in-betweens. I mean I couldn't even imagine a life without them anymore... November 17, 2007. It was my eighteenth birthday and my parents were giving me a grand debutante ball slash black tie event to celebrate this important milestone in my life. My mom was very excited and, particularly, insistent on making me wear a ballgown and having a cotillion for my coming of age party. Well, if you ask me I think that the whole "debutante" idea was completely archaic. I mean, come on! A cotillion? Seriously? I wanted a simple party with just my family and a few close friends just like my 17th birthday last year. But of course,
Last Updated : 2023-02-06
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The Decadence of The Fallen Epilogue: Changing Perspectives
Graduation Day. I stood helpless in my graduation robe as I looked at Madison from afar. She didn't even notice me looking at her, which was probably for the best. Today though, I noticed that Madison looked completely different. She looked happy. I guess it was because she was with JD now. He held her hand and she looked up at him lovingly. I wanted to be happy for them so I tried to force a smile on my face but all it did was leave a bitter taste in my mouth. That should be me beside you and not JD. I couldn't help but think about what could have been...what should have been...but in the end, I had nobody else to blame but myself. I'm sorry, Maddie. I wasn't man enough or strong enough to tell you the truth and admit my true feelings for you. I guess all I am is a jerk and a coward who doesn't deserve your love. I regret not telling you. I never intended to hurt you. But I did. I wish I was braver. But I'm not. I never wanted this to happen to us. But it did. I wish
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 25: Fading Feelings and Bitter Goodbyes
Graduation Day. I never wanted for this day to come but it did and now it's almost over. The thought of leaving was hard and saying goodbye was harder...but saying goodbye to the one you love was the hardest and the most painful. I heard many speeches and quotes throughout this day but as I stood in the middle of West Lane's function hall in my graduation gown, the one quote that kept playing in my head was a quote from a book that I read a long time ago... I'll tell you...what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to someone who smites it. Charles Dickens pretty much sums up what it feels like when love is unrequited in Great Expectations and what it feels like to love you, Adrian. I didn't even see you at all today but you are the only one I kept thinking about. I know that it's probably useless because you'll never get to hea
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 24: Facing The Music
They say that love isn't supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be worth it. It's not easy to love him but I know that it's worth it. That's why I chose him. I chose Adrian. I had made up my mind but it took me another two years to finally have enough courage to confess my feelings to the guy who stole my heart. It wasn't easy though. I had to break JD's heart and tell him about my decision. The Decadence of The Fallen began to accept gigs again so I also had to endure hours of band practice with both him and Adrian around. Then, I had to put my best poker face on just to pretend like nothing was wrong. But through it all, I just kept telling myself that my love for Adrian will overcome anything... Of course, I had to choose the perfect day to tell Adrian - the day after Valentine's Day of 2010. I don't know if I was being romantic or ironic but these days, I can't really tell the difference. Frankly, I don't exactly know why it took me this long. It could have been because I wa
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 23: Choosing Love
Christmas vacation was over and a new year has arrived. The year 2008 was only beginning and yet I was already confronted with the reality that it wasn't going to be my year. I forgot to submit a project for one of my major subjects, my band was on the verge of a breakup, and my love life - if you can even call it that - was a big pile of mess. And just when I thought that things could not get any worse, it does. Warren suddenly called for an emergency band meeting at the concert hall one day. I felt that it was too soon because the last time we met, the tension was quite high and we weren't able to solve any of our issues. But he said that it was urgent and that he needed to talk to all of us as soon as possible so I had no choice but to give in. I came to the concert hall with a deep sense of foreboding but my mood immediately brightened up once I saw a familiar figure standing in front of the stage next to Warren. "Bash!" I ran over to him and gave him a tight hug. He hug
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 22: Struggling At The Crossroads
I did not expect that I would spend my Christmas vacation thinking about Adrian and JD. I never thought that I would ever be in a situation where I had to choose between the one I loved and the one who loved me. I guess I just wasn't lucky enough to have the one I love and the one who loved me be the same person. I loved Adrian but JD was the one who was in love with me. And now I was struggling... During Christmas dinner, even though the food that mom had worked so hard on and dad enjoyed so much was delicious, everything tasted bland to me. I excused myself to go to bed early and got my parents worried because they thought that I was sick. I'm such a bad daughter, I know, but I guess in a way I really was sick. Love sick to be exact. I know how cheesy that sounds right now but it was exactly what I was feeling at that moment. And so I ended up spending the rest of Christmas dinner locked up in my room and thinking about a way to get myself out of this mess. I have not given
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 21: Surprising Declarations
It was a week before the Christmas break and the last week of classes when Spence decided to call for a band meeting one last time for the year 2007. He wanted us to finally settle the issues that have been plaguing The Decadence of The Fallen for the last several weeks. With the exception of JD, who I have been hanging out with along with Leslie these past weeks, I haven't really seen much of my other band mates as of late. I think I saw Spence once on my way to class and Warren, maybe twice, at a cafe but that was it. I exchanged pleasantries with them but it was brief and we usually were in a rush to go somewhere else. I guess it was better than not seeing them at all...like my situation with Adrian. I have not really seen him and Celine in a while and JD never really spoke about them when we were together. It was true that I missed Adrian but the part of me that wanted to avoid him had prevailed all this time. But it was ending today. I was going to see Adrian for the first time
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 20: Finding Solace
I had been forcing myself to go to school and trying to avoid Adrian at all costs after that whole incident. Thankfully, today was a Saturday and band practices were over because our gig was apparently cancelled. I had no reason to interact with Adrian for the next couple of weeks and he was probably busy with Celine anyway so... I was mostly sulking these days and Les had been doing all she could to cheer me up, all to no avail. Surprisingly though, comfort came from a person that I least expected. A person whom I've ignored all this time. "JD!" I waved and called out to him as he pulled into our driveway. He had been checking up on me because Leslie told him all about the Below Zero incident and he saw how I reacted when I rushed off to find Adrian that day when Celine kissed him. He was such a good guy that even my parents couldn't help but root for him. He was the one who saved me from drowning and every time that I saw him, I wished that I could teach my heart to fall for h
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 19: Drowning Slowly
I woke up with a terrible hangover the day after and an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach, all courtesy of my reckless behavior and my little stint at Below Zero last night. I don't think that I'll be able to show my face there ever again after that whole scene with Adrian and my very "classy" and "graceful" exit afterwards. I can't even remember how I got home last night, much less, get myself dressed in my pajamas and in bed after that but I guess I somehow managed. I brushed that thought off as I got up from under the sheets and headed to the bathroom. Halfway there, I suddenly realized that I didn't manage on my own and that someone had to carry me and bring me home last night. It was Adrian! The last person that I wanted to see me fall from grace witnessed it all firsthand. My life just keeps getting better and better. I felt sick and ran to the bathroom sink to relieve myself of the horrible feeling in my stomach. Apparently, there were still some cosmos left in my sys
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 18: Intoxicating Emotions
It was a Friday night and I was feeling rebellious so I put on more make up than usual and finally wore the "barely there" outfit that my cousin, Charlotte, gave me for my eighteenth birthday. It was a short, strapless dress in glittering silver that showed way too much cleavage and way too much leg or should I say thigh. It wasn't as if I had a lot to show anyway but I put a black coat over it just in case mom or dad saw me. I got my matching silver clutch bag, grabbed the keys, then hurriedly made my way towards my car. I was meeting Leslie at Below Zero for a girls night out since she insisted that I badly needed a distraction from Adrian. She knew all about what happened and had been trying to convince me to get over it and just focus on myself instead. It took a lot of time before I finally agreed because up until yesterday I had been locked up in my room, crying my nights away. It was a short drive to Below Zero and I was there in no time. I decided to leave my coat in t
