They say that love isn't supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be worth it. It's not easy to love him but I know that it's worth it. That's why I chose him. I chose Adrian. I had made up my mind but it took me another two years to finally have enough courage to confess my feelings to the guy who stole my heart. It wasn't easy though. I had to break JD's heart and tell him about my decision. The Decadence of The Fallen began to accept gigs again so I also had to endure hours of band practice with both him and Adrian around. Then, I had to put my best poker face on just to pretend like nothing was wrong. But through it all, I just kept telling myself that my love for Adrian will overcome anything... Of course, I had to choose the perfect day to tell Adrian - the day after Valentine's Day of 2010. I don't know if I was being romantic or ironic but these days, I can't really tell the difference. Frankly, I don't exactly know why it took me this long. It could have been because I wa
Graduation Day. I never wanted for this day to come but it did and now it's almost over. The thought of leaving was hard and saying goodbye was harder...but saying goodbye to the one you love was the hardest and the most painful. I heard many speeches and quotes throughout this day but as I stood in the middle of West Lane's function hall in my graduation gown, the one quote that kept playing in my head was a quote from a book that I read a long time ago... I'll tell you...what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to someone who smites it. Charles Dickens pretty much sums up what it feels like when love is unrequited in Great Expectations and what it feels like to love you, Adrian. I didn't even see you at all today but you are the only one I kept thinking about. I know that it's probably useless because you'll never get to hea
Graduation Day. I stood helpless in my graduation robe as I looked at Madison from afar. She didn't even notice me looking at her, which was probably for the best. Today though, I noticed that Madison looked completely different. She looked happy. I guess it was because she was with JD now. He held her hand and she looked up at him lovingly. I wanted to be happy for them so I tried to force a smile on my face but all it did was leave a bitter taste in my mouth. That should be me beside you and not JD. I couldn't help but think about what could have been...what should have been...but in the end, I had nobody else to blame but myself. I'm sorry, Maddie. I wasn't man enough or strong enough to tell you the truth and admit my true feelings for you. I guess all I am is a jerk and a coward who doesn't deserve your love. I regret not telling you. I never intended to hurt you. But I did. I wish I was braver. But I'm not. I never wanted this to happen to us. But it did. I wish
There will always be that one guy that you would constantly be pining for but never truly have. That one guy that you would change your hairstyle for, hoping that he'd somehow notice. That one guy that you would spend sleepless nights thinking about, wondering if he's doing the same thing about you. That one guy that you secretly loved from afar, wishing that maybe someday he would somehow reciprocate your unrequited feelings. That one guy that you would still wish happiness for even if that happiness did not include you. For me, that one guy's name was Marcus Adrian Lee. I never even really existed in Adrian’s eyes. I never really had his heart. I could never truly make him smile the way that she used to. I could never really mend his heart no matter how hard I tried. I mean how do you even begin to fix a broken man? How can you became the person that he not only needs but also wants?
I didn't know why but out of all the boys in school, my heart decided to fall for The Decadence of The Fallen's "Ice Prince" and lead vocalist. A nobody falling for the most popular boy in school had to be the greatest cliché of the century. A sort of cosmic joke that the universe decided to play on a mere mortal like me. And everyone in the whole universe seems to be laughing but me... As if explaining my situation with him wasn't hard enough, describing Adrian had to be a variation of complexities in itself. He had the face of an angel, a no-nonsense attitude, and a brooding facade and although he was blessed with undeniable good looks he was not your typical popular guy. Adrian did not want the attention nor took advantage of his horde of screaming groupies. Yes, there was always a horde and yes, they were always screaming. Although, shrieking might be the more accurate term. In fact, if not for the mandatory fan interaction imposed by their band status, you would mostly find
No words were spoken between us as we made our way towards the next building. Since it was raining really hard, nobody else was around the area and it was completely silent except for the sound of raindrops falling. As we walked side by side with him holding out his umbrella for the both of us, for some reason, it felt like we were a couple. It may have even seemed that way if anybody else ever saw us because that kind of gesture was (almost) never done between strangers. Yes. Strangers. We were strangers. I didn't even know his name and he didn't know mine yet here I was daydreaming about him. And to think that I was starting to develop a crush on this guy who called me an idiot earlier...I really was a sucker for bad boys! As I silently berated myself upon this realization, I barely noticed that we had arrived at the building across and that the guy I was with had already closed his umbrella and was getting out of the pouring rain. But thanks to the feel of raindrops on my s
And a miracle it was! I checked my watch and saw that it had just turned 7:30. Whew. I made it to my Literature class! Thank goodness! Our professor had not even arrived when I got there. Then suddenly, I noticed that my classmates were starting to leave. What's going on? Where were they going and why were they leaving? "Maddie! Where were you? I left several messages on your phone. What happened? Hey, do you even realize that you're completely barefoot right now?" a familiar voice called out to me. It was my high school friend and closest confidante, Leslie Soriano. Tall, slender, and had a face that could put several models to shame. She was a reformed party girl who now enjoyed the simpler things in life. Before, we became friends, she used to be head cheerleader at her former school and had a reputation as a partygoing socialite who only cared if the shoes she wore matched her outfit. But that was all behind Leslie now. She still liked to go out and wear nice cloth
The dressing room was quite small, with costumes used by the theater group placed on one side and a long wall-mounted mirror on the other. Two sofas were somehow fitted inside the room and it was there that we saw the members of The Decadence of The Fallen. I. Must. Be. Dreaming. Somebody pinch me! They were all absolutely gorgeous. Now I totally get why so many girls fall completely head over heels for them. Good looks plus musical talent equals The Decadence of The Fallen. That was probably the band's formula for fame and success. Of course, until now I was still guessing about the musical talent part since I haven't actually seen them perform yet...and I will. But right now I was just completely mesmerized by them as I looked over to my side and found Leslie, drooling along with me. The guy wearing a preppy blue sweater placed his electric guitar on the sofa and began to approach us. He had this boyish charm and had a smile that could rival that of a toothpaste model's. "Josh,"