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Chapter 12: Getting Closer
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2023-01-07 14:05:24Related chapters
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 13: Melting A Frigid Heart
I had been alternately sleeping and studying through most of the weekend. So when Monday came, I had fully regained my energy and had enough preparation time for finals week or "hell week" as we liked to call it. Leslie had come back from her vacation and I was dying to tell her all the details of the recently concluded battle of the bands and my recent closeness with Adrian. But I guess that it will have to wait until much later because right now, I had exams to worry about. For the first two days of hell week, I had minor subjects to go through and for the last three days, the major ones. When the first day ended, I was already pretty much spent from answering essays, fill in the blank questions, and multiple choice items. I had already asked Leslie to go with me on Saturday for the victory party so we decided to go on a little shopping spree and headed straight for our favorite mall after class to unwind and find the perfect outfits. And while we shopped, I started telling Les
Last Updated : 2023-01-07The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 14: Celebrating With Champagne and Roses
I couldn't believe how much time has passed since I met Adrian and the rest of The Decadence of The Fallen. It's been more than a year now but somehow, it feels longer. We celebrated birthdays together. We supported each other through our failures. We cheered each other on with every difficulty we faced. We've been through so much already. The ups. The downs. The in-betweens. I mean I couldn't even imagine a life without them anymore... November 17, 2007. It was my eighteenth birthday and my parents were giving me a grand debutante ball slash black tie event to celebrate this important milestone in my life. My mom was very excited and, particularly, insistent on making me wear a ballgown and having a cotillion for my coming of age party. Well, if you ask me I think that the whole "debutante" idea was completely archaic. I mean, come on! A cotillion? Seriously? I wanted a simple party with just my family and a few close friends just like my 17th birthday last year. But of course,
Last Updated : 2023-02-06The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 15: Keeping A Promise
A week after my debutante ball, something unexpected happened. It was a Monday and it began as ordinary as any other day would. I got up, got dressed, and went to school as usual. I sat through several hours of lectures and quizzes and spent several more of that listening to another one Leslie's stories during her days as the former head cheerleader of her old school. After our chat, we decided to call it a day because Les had errands to run and I had band practice. We said our goodbyes before I headed to the concert hall. The Decadence of The Fallen had another performance coming up so band practiced continued as usual. I arrived to find that the equipment had already been set up and everyone was already waiting for me. Well everyone except Adrian, that is. "Hey, guys. You're all here early. So, should we do a sound check first or should we wait for Adrian to come?" I said trying not to sound too disappointed that he wasn't there. Nobody answered. It was unusual but I tried a
Last Updated : 2023-02-06The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 16: Walking Down Memory Lane
I told Leslie about everything that happened the last time that we were supposed to have band practice. About Celine's comeback. About Adrian's reaction. Everything. Her advice? Just pretend like nothing happened and act like I wasn't affected at all. Well, easy for her to say. Out of options, I ended up saying that I was going to skip a few practices so that I could figure things out but she said that it would only worsen the situation. She even scolded me for trying to run away from my problems and not facing them head on. Sometimes I think that she acts more like my mother than my best friend. I decided to follow Leslie's advice but I was still really apprehensive when I walked through the concert hall's doors that Wednesday. I dragged my feet and held my drum sticks tightly in my hands as I made my way to the stage. I actually didn't know what to expect that day but my gut was telling me to just call in sick and get the hell out of there while I still can. But before I even ha
Last Updated : 2023-02-07The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 17: Competing With The Past
Celine quickly chased after Adrian and left the concert hall just as abruptly as he did. Spence came in through the doors just as Celine was leaving and tried to ask her about what was happening but she said nothing and just continued to chase after Adrian. Left with no other options, Spence started walking to the stage to ask us instead. "Would you guys care to enlighten me about what the heck is going on around here and why the hell are people walking out?" No one dared to answer. Everyone was still probably taking in the shock of what just happened or simply did not want to interfere with the whole Adrian-Celine situation but I knew that I had to do something. I got up from the drum throne and started walking off the stage. Midway, I felt someone suddenly grab my arm. I was startled so I immediately turned my head to find out who it was and I was surprised to see that it was JD who was holding on to me. "Where are you going, Maddie?" JD had slung his guitar behind him as he
Last Updated : 2023-02-07The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 18: Intoxicating Emotions
It was a Friday night and I was feeling rebellious so I put on more make up than usual and finally wore the "barely there" outfit that my cousin, Charlotte, gave me for my eighteenth birthday. It was a short, strapless dress in glittering silver that showed way too much cleavage and way too much leg or should I say thigh. It wasn't as if I had a lot to show anyway but I put a black coat over it just in case mom or dad saw me. I got my matching silver clutch bag, grabbed the keys, then hurriedly made my way towards my car. I was meeting Leslie at Below Zero for a girls night out since she insisted that I badly needed a distraction from Adrian. She knew all about what happened and had been trying to convince me to get over it and just focus on myself instead. It took a lot of time before I finally agreed because up until yesterday I had been locked up in my room, crying my nights away. It was a short drive to Below Zero and I was there in no time. I decided to leave my coat in t
Last Updated : 2023-02-07The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 19: Drowning Slowly
I woke up with a terrible hangover the day after and an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach, all courtesy of my reckless behavior and my little stint at Below Zero last night. I don't think that I'll be able to show my face there ever again after that whole scene with Adrian and my very "classy" and "graceful" exit afterwards. I can't even remember how I got home last night, much less, get myself dressed in my pajamas and in bed after that but I guess I somehow managed. I brushed that thought off as I got up from under the sheets and headed to the bathroom. Halfway there, I suddenly realized that I didn't manage on my own and that someone had to carry me and bring me home last night. It was Adrian! The last person that I wanted to see me fall from grace witnessed it all firsthand. My life just keeps getting better and better. I felt sick and ran to the bathroom sink to relieve myself of the horrible feeling in my stomach. Apparently, there were still some cosmos left in my sys
Last Updated : 2023-02-07The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 20: Finding Solace
I had been forcing myself to go to school and trying to avoid Adrian at all costs after that whole incident. Thankfully, today was a Saturday and band practices were over because our gig was apparently cancelled. I had no reason to interact with Adrian for the next couple of weeks and he was probably busy with Celine anyway so... I was mostly sulking these days and Les had been doing all she could to cheer me up, all to no avail. Surprisingly though, comfort came from a person that I least expected. A person whom I've ignored all this time. "JD!" I waved and called out to him as he pulled into our driveway. He had been checking up on me because Leslie told him all about the Below Zero incident and he saw how I reacted when I rushed off to find Adrian that day when Celine kissed him. He was such a good guy that even my parents couldn't help but root for him. He was the one who saved me from drowning and every time that I saw him, I wished that I could teach my heart to fall for h
Last Updated : 2023-02-07
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The Decadence of The Fallen Epilogue: Changing Perspectives
Graduation Day. I stood helpless in my graduation robe as I looked at Madison from afar. She didn't even notice me looking at her, which was probably for the best. Today though, I noticed that Madison looked completely different. She looked happy. I guess it was because she was with JD now. He held her hand and she looked up at him lovingly. I wanted to be happy for them so I tried to force a smile on my face but all it did was leave a bitter taste in my mouth. That should be me beside you and not JD. I couldn't help but think about what could have been...what should have been...but in the end, I had nobody else to blame but myself. I'm sorry, Maddie. I wasn't man enough or strong enough to tell you the truth and admit my true feelings for you. I guess all I am is a jerk and a coward who doesn't deserve your love. I regret not telling you. I never intended to hurt you. But I did. I wish I was braver. But I'm not. I never wanted this to happen to us. But it did. I wish
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 25: Fading Feelings and Bitter Goodbyes
Graduation Day. I never wanted for this day to come but it did and now it's almost over. The thought of leaving was hard and saying goodbye was harder...but saying goodbye to the one you love was the hardest and the most painful. I heard many speeches and quotes throughout this day but as I stood in the middle of West Lane's function hall in my graduation gown, the one quote that kept playing in my head was a quote from a book that I read a long time ago... I'll tell you...what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to someone who smites it. Charles Dickens pretty much sums up what it feels like when love is unrequited in Great Expectations and what it feels like to love you, Adrian. I didn't even see you at all today but you are the only one I kept thinking about. I know that it's probably useless because you'll never get to hea
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 24: Facing The Music
They say that love isn't supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be worth it. It's not easy to love him but I know that it's worth it. That's why I chose him. I chose Adrian. I had made up my mind but it took me another two years to finally have enough courage to confess my feelings to the guy who stole my heart. It wasn't easy though. I had to break JD's heart and tell him about my decision. The Decadence of The Fallen began to accept gigs again so I also had to endure hours of band practice with both him and Adrian around. Then, I had to put my best poker face on just to pretend like nothing was wrong. But through it all, I just kept telling myself that my love for Adrian will overcome anything... Of course, I had to choose the perfect day to tell Adrian - the day after Valentine's Day of 2010. I don't know if I was being romantic or ironic but these days, I can't really tell the difference. Frankly, I don't exactly know why it took me this long. It could have been because I wa
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 23: Choosing Love
Christmas vacation was over and a new year has arrived. The year 2008 was only beginning and yet I was already confronted with the reality that it wasn't going to be my year. I forgot to submit a project for one of my major subjects, my band was on the verge of a breakup, and my love life - if you can even call it that - was a big pile of mess. And just when I thought that things could not get any worse, it does. Warren suddenly called for an emergency band meeting at the concert hall one day. I felt that it was too soon because the last time we met, the tension was quite high and we weren't able to solve any of our issues. But he said that it was urgent and that he needed to talk to all of us as soon as possible so I had no choice but to give in. I came to the concert hall with a deep sense of foreboding but my mood immediately brightened up once I saw a familiar figure standing in front of the stage next to Warren. "Bash!" I ran over to him and gave him a tight hug. He hug
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 22: Struggling At The Crossroads
I did not expect that I would spend my Christmas vacation thinking about Adrian and JD. I never thought that I would ever be in a situation where I had to choose between the one I loved and the one who loved me. I guess I just wasn't lucky enough to have the one I love and the one who loved me be the same person. I loved Adrian but JD was the one who was in love with me. And now I was struggling... During Christmas dinner, even though the food that mom had worked so hard on and dad enjoyed so much was delicious, everything tasted bland to me. I excused myself to go to bed early and got my parents worried because they thought that I was sick. I'm such a bad daughter, I know, but I guess in a way I really was sick. Love sick to be exact. I know how cheesy that sounds right now but it was exactly what I was feeling at that moment. And so I ended up spending the rest of Christmas dinner locked up in my room and thinking about a way to get myself out of this mess. I have not given
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 21: Surprising Declarations
It was a week before the Christmas break and the last week of classes when Spence decided to call for a band meeting one last time for the year 2007. He wanted us to finally settle the issues that have been plaguing The Decadence of The Fallen for the last several weeks. With the exception of JD, who I have been hanging out with along with Leslie these past weeks, I haven't really seen much of my other band mates as of late. I think I saw Spence once on my way to class and Warren, maybe twice, at a cafe but that was it. I exchanged pleasantries with them but it was brief and we usually were in a rush to go somewhere else. I guess it was better than not seeing them at all...like my situation with Adrian. I have not really seen him and Celine in a while and JD never really spoke about them when we were together. It was true that I missed Adrian but the part of me that wanted to avoid him had prevailed all this time. But it was ending today. I was going to see Adrian for the first time
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 20: Finding Solace
I had been forcing myself to go to school and trying to avoid Adrian at all costs after that whole incident. Thankfully, today was a Saturday and band practices were over because our gig was apparently cancelled. I had no reason to interact with Adrian for the next couple of weeks and he was probably busy with Celine anyway so... I was mostly sulking these days and Les had been doing all she could to cheer me up, all to no avail. Surprisingly though, comfort came from a person that I least expected. A person whom I've ignored all this time. "JD!" I waved and called out to him as he pulled into our driveway. He had been checking up on me because Leslie told him all about the Below Zero incident and he saw how I reacted when I rushed off to find Adrian that day when Celine kissed him. He was such a good guy that even my parents couldn't help but root for him. He was the one who saved me from drowning and every time that I saw him, I wished that I could teach my heart to fall for h
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 19: Drowning Slowly
I woke up with a terrible hangover the day after and an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach, all courtesy of my reckless behavior and my little stint at Below Zero last night. I don't think that I'll be able to show my face there ever again after that whole scene with Adrian and my very "classy" and "graceful" exit afterwards. I can't even remember how I got home last night, much less, get myself dressed in my pajamas and in bed after that but I guess I somehow managed. I brushed that thought off as I got up from under the sheets and headed to the bathroom. Halfway there, I suddenly realized that I didn't manage on my own and that someone had to carry me and bring me home last night. It was Adrian! The last person that I wanted to see me fall from grace witnessed it all firsthand. My life just keeps getting better and better. I felt sick and ran to the bathroom sink to relieve myself of the horrible feeling in my stomach. Apparently, there were still some cosmos left in my sys
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 18: Intoxicating Emotions
It was a Friday night and I was feeling rebellious so I put on more make up than usual and finally wore the "barely there" outfit that my cousin, Charlotte, gave me for my eighteenth birthday. It was a short, strapless dress in glittering silver that showed way too much cleavage and way too much leg or should I say thigh. It wasn't as if I had a lot to show anyway but I put a black coat over it just in case mom or dad saw me. I got my matching silver clutch bag, grabbed the keys, then hurriedly made my way towards my car. I was meeting Leslie at Below Zero for a girls night out since she insisted that I badly needed a distraction from Adrian. She knew all about what happened and had been trying to convince me to get over it and just focus on myself instead. It took a lot of time before I finally agreed because up until yesterday I had been locked up in my room, crying my nights away. It was a short drive to Below Zero and I was there in no time. I decided to leave my coat in t
