XV. Anger and Silence

Cara

"Thanks for driving me. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up," I said gratefully. Connor had come to the rescue. When my car broke down I had expected that I would be stuck at school for hours, until my dad picked me up.

Thankfully, Connor showed up, accessed the problem with my car and offered me a ride home. I obviously accepted seeing as I had no other option plus he was my neighbour which meant no inconvenience on his part.

He averted his eyes from the road and asked me how I was.

"I am fine. What about you?" It was a bit difficult having a conversation with Connor. I didn't know him much, we barely even spoke. In spite of him being my neighbour and classmate, we lived two completely different lives.

"Things are...fine," he responded. There was hesitance in his tone but I ignored it. It was not any of my business. I just hoped he'd be alright. "Anyway...I hope you are going for the trip...you know, the one to Rome."

The trip. There was a history trip my class would be taking at the end of the following week. I had completely forgotten about it. Thankfully, I had already asked my father to pay for me and to sign the permission slip. He didn't mind as long as there would be teacher and adult supervision to make sure there were no 'shenanigans' as he put it.

It did not matter, I had a history of being as prudish as a nun.

Back in the seventh grade at my first boy-girl party, we all gathered in a circle to play party games. At first we did pretty innocent stuff like card games and Uno but as the night progressed to later, devilish hours -which was eight o'clock for thirteen year old me- the games became more daring.

Seven minutes in heaven? I had thought. What's that?

I was still a bit innocent back then so I did not know what that was. I quickly figured out what it was when the first couple was chosen. They went into the closet and the rest of us remained outside.

Seven minutes passed and they came out. Both of my classmates were blushing beet red. It was clear what had happened inside the closet.

Jessica, the host of the party and so far the most popular girl in the seventh grade asked who would go first and everyone shouted, "Cara and Dee." Soon they were chanting mine and Dee's names. Dee was the boy's nickname. I doubt I remember his real name, it was rarely used.

Dee was tall with bright blue eyes and pretty blonde hair. I later found out that he had had a crush on me ever since my first day at that school.

Into the closet we went.

It was dark and confined. Dee's body pressed against mine. " Sorry," he said shyly after he realised  that his chest was pressed against my developing breasts. I readjusted myself so that both he and I were more comfortable.

"So...what do we do?"Asked Dee. He seemed even more shy than me. I was surprised since he was one of the most popular boys in the school, I assumed he must have kissed a thousand girls already. "I have sort of never kissed anyone before."

"Neither have I," I whispered. It was quiet. "Let's just do it... kiss." I broke the silence. It wouldn't be so bad. Many of my friends - the few friends I had ...which was only two friends- had already had their first kisses so I wanted to have mine. Yeah, the peer pressure had really hit me hard at that age.

We both agreed to do it on the count of three.

One... I counted in my head.

Two...

I felt him near me, moving closer.

Three...

I panicked and baam!

I punched him. I punched him in the face.

Oh my God! I had thought, panicking even more as the boy cupped his nose with his hands. He was crying by then, practically shrieking.

Still in a daze,I rushed out of the closet meeting everyone else outside. They all stared at me. Their cheeky smiles turned to frowns as they saw the nosebleeding boy in the closet.

I ran out of there as fast as possible.

And that was the last time I would ever see most of them again except for Dee. We were moving again.

The day we were supposed to move Dee came over to my house. He had a black eye. I felt so sorry for what I had done to him. He said it was alright. I offered him lemonade and we hung out outside.

I had my first kiss then. It happened outside, under a tree with Dee, the same boy I had punched just two days before.

"So, are you going?" Connor's baritone voice snapped me back to reality as I remembered my first kiss.

"Huh?"

"The trip? You're going, right?" I gave him a quick nod. "That's good. Apparently last year's trip with the previous class was great and the teachers were hardly there, just students and booze." He looked very excited. I was too but for different reasons.

I looked forward to seeing Rome, the colosseum, St . Peter's Basilica,  and the Pantheon. I had only seen them online and I really wanted to be there in person, to touch the aged stones of The Colosseum and to take in the beauty and wonder of the great city.

"We're here,"Connor said as the car pulled over at the front of my house.I thanked him for the ride. "No problem."

"Bye, see you later. We should definitely hang out sometime,"I said as I exited the car. I gave him a quick wave before advancing up the path to my house. He waved back.

"Wait! I need to ask you something," Connor's voice startled me as I I fumbled with my keys trying to find the house keys. "I need to ask you something...."

I turned to him. He had an anxious expression on his face. He seemed unsure about what he was going to say.

"Will you go out with me?"He suddenly spat out as a familiar Bentley pulled up behind Connor's car. It was Ivan. It must have been five o'clock or quite a few minutes to five.

"Ummh...what?"

Will you go out with me?" Connor was asking me to go out with him. He had me on the spot.

I stared at the fast-approaching Ivan then at Connor who was anxiously awaiting my answer. An awkward situation was cooking up.

This was a first for me, having a...complicated relationship with someone then someone else asking me out.  I didn't know what to say. I only considered him a friend, nothing more.

"I can't, "I said quickly. He stared at me. "It's complicated. I think of you as a friend..."

That came out horribly. Way to go, Cara.

I thought he would say something but he didn't not. His attention was trained on the man that was swiftly walking up to us.

His expression did a complete one-eighty as recognition dawned on his face. He stared only at Ivan who was just a few feet away.

It was now officially awkward.

Ivan's face was flushed with what I could only identify as anger. That anger was not directed at me but at Connor. His fists were clenched and it looked like he was about to punch Connor or worse.

He had white knuckles from clenching his fists too hard.

"Mr.Vasiliev..."said Connor, chuckling nervously. He stared at Ivan as if he had seen a ghost.

Wait a minute. They know each other?

"Ummh...Ivan, this is Connor. Connor this is Iv-"

Ivan finally spoke, cutting me off. "Leave. Now." He said in a commanding voice. His voice was deeper than usually, powerfully directed at the teenage boy.

Connor did not need to be told twice. In a flash he was off, nearly tripping as he ran down the path.

"Why did you do that?" I question in a demanding tone, glaring at him. He remained silent, refusing to answer my question. Something had shifted in him. I could see it in his eyes.

Ivan's eyes were darker than ever, practically pools of obsidian. I looked into the dark pools, searching for him -the part of him that I knew. I only saw anger. I only heard silence.

"I-I have to go."

With that, he left.