Chapter 2

Clara.

I watched Jake and his unit disappear around the corner before slowing my pace and heading in the direction of the rec room where my best friend would be. I grumbled to myself as I let our conversation play back through my head. Not that it was much of a conversation. The guy barely acknowledged that I existed.

I hated that I was crazy about a guy who didn't feel the same way, even more than that, I hated the fact that everyone seemed to know about it, not that there was any chance of keeping something like that secret when we all lived in each others pockets. Everyone knew everything about everyone else, it was just the way of the world for those who called the Compound home.

I groaned aloud as my thoughts turned back to Jake, I don't know exactly what it is about him that makes me lose my cool but somehow I couldn't manage one simple sentence without coming across as a love sick puppy. I was sure he thought of me as annoying or childish but he had never once been rude, that was just one of the things I liked about him, it also didn't hurt that he looked so damn good in his army uniform, skin tight black top that showcased his many muscles and black combat trousers that hung off his hips enticingly. Where as I was stuck wearing hand me downs that were three sizes too big and about two decades out of fashion. I wasn't the only one, not by a long shot. Fashion choices were limited when there was no clothing or fashion industry. Hell there wasn't any kind of industry any more.

My fascination with Jake had started about four years ago, shortly after my fascination with the army started. I was sure, that they were our best shot at creating a life outside of these walls, and damn if I wasn't sick of living inside these wall. I smiled slightly at my secret, a secret that only my best friend Matt knew.

I would be eighteen in two days, and in two days, I was signing up to join the army. I was sure that it wouldn't be well received across the board. My parents would have a fit and I could imagine Jake thinking that I signed up for him but the truth was that I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to help get us back on track, get us back to living a life outside of the compound and to my knowledge there were only two ways of doing that. Join the army or become a scientist, and well I sucked at science.

I had spent the last three years, since I made my decision, training in private with Matt, I wasn't up to the same par as the guys and girls in the army but I would have a serious leg up over any other new recruits. Matt's Dad was in the army and had taught his son how to fight, and Matt, in turn had taught me. I had wrestled as much information out of anyone I could to try and train myself up as best I could. I was determined that I would be the best. It was the way I was raised, neither of my parents would settle for second best, and they hadn't raised their daughter any differently either.

“Hey Clara.” Matt called from down the corridor to my left. “Jake's back.” He smirked. Matt knew all the details of my infatuation, as humiliating as it was he was the only person I could talk to about it.

“I know I've already seen him and made a complete fool of myself, yet again.”

“I don't know how you manage it. One of these days you're going to have to get me a ring side seat, I need to witness this humiliation for myself.” He smirked his trademark smile and I scowled at him as I continued walking.

“Screw you.” I stated and ignored the laughter that followed.

"You know I love you really.” He smiled falling in step beside me as we headed towards the rec room. “You all ready for Tuesday?” He asked changing the subject, something I was grateful for right then.

“As ready as I will ever be.”

“You sure you don't want to tell your parents first?”

“No I don't want to give them the opportunity to talk me out of it. Once I'm signed up there's nothing they can do. So I'll tell them afterwards.”

“If you're sure.”

“I am.”

“You want to practice kicking my arse again tonight? I could use a work out.” He asked as he skipped ahead slightly and turned so he was walking backwards one eyebrow raised in a challenging sort of way.

"Sure, I could use the easy win to boost my ego.” I smiled.

“Easy win huh? We'll see about that, I've learnt a few new tricks since the last time we met.” He stated seriously and I couldn't help but laugh, baiting him was too easy.

“Did you have to go running to Daddy for pointers so that you can beat a girl?” I joked and laughed once more as he stuttered while failing to come up with a comeback. “Seriously though, thanks.” I stated with a nod, his help had been invaluable over the last few months.

“No problem.” He smiled. “West courtyard after dinner?”

“Sounds good.”

“Hey Maddie!” Matt called catching sight of his flavour of the month. “I'll catch you later C.” He stated before running off to catch up with the pretty brunette.

I shook my head in resignation. Matt was by far the biggest playboy of our generation, you would think that living in a small community and everyone knowing that he was a playboy would limit his pool, but somehow it never seemed to. He must be good at something. I smiled lightly, forcing back old memories.

Matt and I had tried to make a go of it about two years ago. Me out of desperation to forget about Jake, I had no idea what his motivation was but regardless, it had resulted in us losing our virginities to each other. It definitely wasn't something I had been eager to repeat, we were both fumbling idiots, with no real clue what we were doing and afterwards all I had felt was dirty. We avoided each other for about two weeks after that incident, before being assigned clean up duty together and being forced to have a conversation.

After a lot of stammering, blushing and apologies it had been clear that neither one of us wanted a repeat and we called it a truce, somehow returning to our old friendship with the added bonus of us being more comfortable around each other. I honestly didn't know what I would do without him.

I glanced at my beat up old watch. I only had twenty minutes left before the next classes were scheduled. Part of me felt like it was a waste of time, I knew what I wanted to do but I had to keep going, had to keep up pretences for my parents that I was still undecided about what I wanted to do. I knew they wouldn't agree and I hated that, but my mind was made up, I was doing this with or without their support. Besides it was my father who told me it was better to ask forgiveness than permission, I doubt he had this in mind at the time though.

The days seemed to drag as I counted down the minutes, inane conversations, pointless lessons, training sessions with Matt and diner with my parents. Every tick of the clock seemed to take forever as I waited for Tuesday to arrive.  When Tuesday morning eventually came around it took me more than a few minutes to process that fact.

I lay awake in my room, lying on a cot, staring at the concrete ceiling wondering what today had in store before it clicked that I knew exactly what today would hold. My entrance examinations for the army.

I smiled wide feeling relief that the day was finally here.

“Clara, breakfasts here.” My mum called from our living area. The living quarters in the compound were less than ideal, a selection of old cells that had been outfitted as best as possible. We had three cells, two bedrooms and a living room, everyone used a communal kitchen that rationed the food we managed to grow here, the bedrooms each had their own toilet and the whole compound shared several shower rooms. I rolled out of bed feeling better than I had in weeks. I dressed in my usual bland clothing and stepped out of the make shift door that had been put on my room.

“Morning.” I greeted my parents, taking a seat on our thread bare sofa and picking up the plate of eggs that had been cooked for me. “Thanks.” I muttered for the food that smelled delicious.

“Happy birthday darling.”

“Thanks Mum.”

“What have you got planned for today?” Dad asked tucking into his own breakfast.

“Just hanging with Matt.” I stated, knowing that my best friend would cover for me.

“Okay, well I've ordered a special dinner for your birthday so don't be late.” Mum smiled. “I'm sorry sweetheart but there is so much work to be done this morning, I need to get going.” She stated, looking guilty.

“It's fine Mum.” I smiled back. Nothing could dampen my spirits today, it was the day I had been waiting for for years.

She kissed the top of my head before rushing out of the living room towards the science department. “Speaking of work, have you decided what you want to do yet?” Dad questioned for the third time this week. “You only have three months of classes left.”

“That's still three months Dad.” I said, my smile slipping as I was forced to remember the one downside to me joining the army. My parents would hate it.

“Okay, well think about it, you need to decide soon.”

“I know.” I muttered as he washed up his plate in our sink and headed out to his own job in the engineering department.

I sat in silence feeling torn. I had wanted this for so long.

“Morning birthday girl.” Matt greeted from the landing outside our sitting room. His shit eating grin letting me know he had had a good night with Maddie.

“Morning. What are you doing here?”

“Moral support and all that. You heading straight to sign up?” He questioned and I swallowed back the guilt I felt at knowing how much this would hurt my parents.

“Yeah.”

“I'll walk you.”

I placed my plate in the sink and tied my shoes before stepping onto the landing.

“How did you sleep?” He asked and my brows furrowed at the random question.

“Why?”

“Last night in your bed and all, just figured it should be a good one.” He shrugged noting my confusion but his words stirred an entirely different emotion.

“Shit, I forgot about that.”

All army recruits lived together on the first floor of block A with other army members being offered rooms on other floors and the ground floor being used for meetings and training and all things army. Block D where we lived was family housing, B and C were used for work space and storage and E was additional family housing and where Matt lived with his parents F and G were unoccupied as far as I knew.

Matt chuckled at my startled expression as I thought about how I now needed to not only tell my parents that I had joined the army but that I was moving out also. “My parents are going to shit bricks.” I muttered and he laughed some more.

“Oh come on it wont be that bad. Besides now is not the time to be thinking about that, you need to concentrate on exams.” He stated and he was right. One thing at a time. There was a chance, although it was small, that I wouldn't be accepted. The army always needed new blood, but because of how dangerous it was not many signed up and they were kind of strict about admissions anyway.

The rest of the walk to A block was in silence with both of us stopping dead in our tracks just outside the open gates to the large area. “Hey perk up. This is what you wanted, you've got this Clara. Kick some arse. And worry about the rest later.” He stated, as usual his words were what I needed to hear.

This was what I wanted, so badly. Anything else was consequential. I forced a smile on my face and faced my best friend.

“You're right, as always. Thanks Matt.”

He smiled and nodded, backing away “Find me when you're done.”

“Will do.” I smiled back before turning and walking into the cell block.

I entered the first cell on the left, a spacious room that was cluttered with a wooden desk and too many boxes overflowing with paperwork of one kind or another and a lone man, dressed in army blacks who's eyes were burrowing into me.

“Good morning. I would like to sign up.” I stated feeling as confident as I could expect to in that moment. Matt was right, I had this, I had been pushing myself, training myself for this for years.

“Okay, name?”

“Clara West.”

“Age?” He asked jotting words on paper.

“Eighteen.”

“Okay, I need you to fill this out, you can take a seat there.” He said handing me a form and indicating a chair off to the side of the cell.

“Thank you.” I responded taking a seat and filling out the form asking for all manner of personal information. Height, weight, level of fitness, medical conditions, identifying marks, why I wanted to join.

I focused on one question at a time writing down everything the form asked for before standing and handing it back to the waiting man.

His eyes scanned the form and I stood nervously waiting for his response.

“Seems fine. Take a seat. Commander Hicks is in charge of recruits, I'll fetch him.” He stated not waiting for a reply before leaving the room.

This was it, time to make a change.