Cydeo shrugged. "Yes. Madalas siyang usapan sa College of Commerce, specifically my blockmates, kaya hindi ko rin maiwasang makinig. Sorry if that offended you," he reasoned out. His voice made my knees weak. It was husky baritone which got me distracted. Napatingin ulit ako sa labi niya sabay balik sa mga mata niya. Damn, I was seeing an angel.
Mezka giggled which caught my attention. "You're a campus crush pala. Before naririnig ko na yata ang names mo sa guy friends ko sa student council. You're a chic daw and now that I see you na, I proved that surreal. You are gorgeous nga talaga," she said with an excited voice. Nailang ako sa compliment na binigay niya kaya hindi ko alam kung paanong ngiti ang gagawin ko. "Anyway, paniguradong kilala niyo na si Cydeo and if you don't mind, I am Mezka Avanzado nga pala." Then she smiled but it never amused me. I already knew her, the it girl in our college. Nilingon ko na lang ulit si Cydeo at nakita kong nakatuon na ang tingin niya sa phone niya. "By, let's eat muna. Later na 'yan," Mezka whispered to him though I heard it. Cydeo just nodded. Inilapag niya ang phone sa gilid ng table.
"My teammates are making me hurry. Baka hindi na namin kayo masamahan nang matagal," he said while looking at me. Napangiti na lang ako at tumango.
Ibiza, that was so not you! Gusto kong sampalin ang sarili ko dahil para akong tuod sa kinauupuan ko. I couldn't even blab a thing at halos panuorin ko lang sila. Pakiramdam ko ay tumitiklop ang dila ko kapag magkasama silang dalawa, because it kept making me feel like I was too far from then. Yes, I could flirt but—
"Teammates? Naglalaro ka rin pala?" Finally, Oshlov broke the awkwardness. Na-realize niya rin siguro na hindi ako nagsasalita kaya siya na ang gumawa ng conversation.
"A bit. Track and field," Cydeo answered, and I knew it. Hindi man halata sa balat niya pero he used to be a varsity runner. Humble lang talaga ang 'a bit' niya dahil nanalo na siya sa ilang competition university-wide.
"Hindi halata sa balat, ha? Anong skin care mo?" biro ni Oshlov na hindi malaman nina Cydeo kung biro o hindi dahil... Sino bang hindi mawi-weirdo-han na may nagpapatawang mukhang emo? Oshlov was in her mood today which meant all black na naman siya, pati eyeliner, eyeshadow at lipstick.
"Cydeo needs to take care of his skin," Mezka interupted. I knew that because... "He is a model kasi," she added.
"Wow. Multi-talented." Then Oshlov laughed sarcastically after she commented and glanced at me as if telling me that I got a good taste with guys.
"Super!" Mezka exaggerated. "As in! He knows everything. Cool yet humble. Into business na rin siya since siya ang hahawak ng company nila kaya nga he is in commerce. Do you know Izquierdo Resort and Restaurants? He will handle that," she continued. It was impressive that she bragged her boyfriend's achievement without sounding boastful.
I mentally rolled my eyes. Yeah, right. He knew almost everything plus he got the looks though still kinda lean, the reason that I like him.
Cydeo was quiet, so was I. Busy siya sa pakikinig kina Mezka at Oshlov samantalang busy naman ako sa pagtitig sa kanya na hindi niya napapansin. His face was just too perfect. Maganda ang features niya, idagdag mo pa ang kinis at aliwalas ng balat niya. Iisipin ng ibang dugyot na lalaking bakla siya sa unang tingin dahil tipid ang galaw niya pero kapag nagsalita na siya, lalaking-lalaki.
"Aren't that tiring? Council VP internal, achiever, you also help your parents in their business, ballerina and exploring artsy things!" Instead of answering, Mezka just smiled at Oshlov. "May hindi ka pa ba kaya?" Oshi asked once again.
Mezka looked away. "Marami naman akong hindi kaya na pwedeng kaya ng ibang tao and I think, everyone can do what I can do rin naman. It is a matter of time, passion, and courage," she stated then smiled. Napatigil doon si Oshlov na akala mo ay biglang naging dead kid. Akala ko mapupuno na naman ng katahimikan pero nagsalita na si Cydeo na hawak ang cellphone niya.
"I think we have to—"
"Oh fuck!" Napatayo si Oshlov samantalang nanlaki naman bigla ang mga mata ko. Napatigil rin si Cydeo sa dapat niyang sasabihin at mabilis na inilapag ulit sa ang phone niyang di mabitaw-bitawan ng tingin kanina. He became panicked.
"Sadya 'yon, ah?" Oshlov exclaimed to the guy who poured the red iced tea on Mezka's skirt, our uniform. Nakatayo na rin siya at tulala sa damit niya. "What the hell! Ngingisi ka lang? Are you some kind of shit? Kalalaking tao—"
"Hey, stop," Cydeo commanded which really made Oshlov stopped. "Mezka has a spare clothes in her locker. I think we have to go." Mabilis niyang dinampot ang bag niya at ang bag ni Mezka saka inalalayan si Mezka na maglakad nang mabilis dahil nakatingin ang mga tao. That couple hated too much attention so I could say that that was their action when it comes to those things. Lumayo kaysa lumaban. Hindi katulad ng katabi ko.
Mabilis kong nilingon si Oshlov na akala mo ay close na close kay Mezka. "Overacting, bitch. Affected ka ba masyado?" I asked.
"How 'bout you? Halos hindi ka makapagsalita kanina? Nasaan yung Ibiza the little monster na kilala ko? Tumiklop na?" Then she laughed. "Kung hindi ko inaaliw si Mezka, malamang nabisto ka na titig na titig sa boyfriend niya."
"Oshlov, ang lakas ng boses mo," I warned her.
"Takot ka? Sa ibang lalaki nga, open ka na ginagago mo lang sila tapos kapag si Cydeo—"
"Iba si Cydeo," I cut her off.
Her eyes widened. "Romantic naman. Kinilabutan ako. Naka-drugs ka ba?" She gave me a distorted face. "Hoy, Ibiza. 'Wag kang masyadong pabebe. Hindi bagay. Malayo ka kay Mezka," she added.
Malayo
ka kay Mezka.Malayo
ka kay Mezka.Malayo
ka kay Mezka.And it meant, malayo ako sa babaeng magugustuhan ni Cydeo. I sighed. Pinili ko ang buhay na 'to at wala akong pinagsisisihan pero hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip... na kung hindi ba ako si Ibiza na alam ng lahat, magbabago kaya ang buhay ko?
Fuck, no!
Yeah, there's no way out of this bitch side of mine. Kailangan kong panindigan kung sino ako, kung saan ako magiging masaya.
"Ibiza," Oshlov called my attention while still thinking about what she just said a while ago, the four words sentence. Siniko niya ako kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin pero hindi niya pinansin 'yon kahit may kalakasan at ngumuso sa hindi kalayuan. Sinundan ko naman 'yon ng tingin at nakita ko ang cellphone... cellphone ni Cydeo.
Mabilis akong naalerto dahil Cydeo always used his phone kaya tumayo ako pero hinawakan ni Oshlov ang braso ko. Napahinto ako at nilingon siya, "Oh?" I said, no interest in my tone.
"Anong ginagawa mo?" she asked.
"Tatayo. Kukunin ko ang phone para isauli—"
"No! Ayan na ang chance mo." Napakunot-noo ako sa sinabi niya. "Bitch, why slow? Kunin mo yung phone tapos i-check mo. Baka may magamit kong l**k kung paano mo mapapapayag si Cydeo sa dare. Nakalimutan mo na ba? Pumasok ka ngayon for that shit. And the consequence is F.O. Mawawala ka na sa grupo."
"Edi tanggalin niyo ako," wala sa interes kong sagot.
"So pipiliin mo yung Cydeo na 'yon over us? Eh, hindi na pala kailangan ng dare dahil halata namang ayaw mo sa amin—"
"Fine! Just stop blackmailing me. Titinidurin kita." I sighed. Wala na nga akong nagawa kung 'di mabilis na kunin ang cellphone na may ilaw pa which indicated that it was not locked yet.
Tinignan ko 'to, perhaps ay tinitigan. Tama nga na kay Cydeo at ang lockscreen ay silang dalawa ni Mezka. He was holding her waist while looking at her samantalang nakangiti si Mezka sa camera.
I wished Cydeo could also look at me that way.
"Patingin!" Oshlov exclaimed but since mabilis ang reflex ko, naiwas ko agad sa kanya ang cellphone. Nang itaas ko nga ito ay napansin kong namatay ang screen kaya mabilis kong pinindot. Nang umilaw ulit, napatigil ako dahil walang lock.
Side to unlock.
To make sure, I tried it and it unlocked. Napakunot-noo ako. Hindi nagla-lock si Cydeo ng phone? Was it because of Mezka? Shit, Cydeo was a fucking faithful and honest boyfriend!
"What happened?" Oshlov asked, curious.
"It was locked," I lied so she would no longer chase for it.
"Hala! Paano na 'yan? Anong plano? We have to use the phone!" frustrated, pabulong siyang sumigaw. Gusto kong tumawa sa itsura niya dahil gustong-gusto niya talagang ituloy ang dare. Walang hiyang demonyo.
"I will bring this home. Ako na bahala magpa-open ng phone and ako na rin ang mag-check ng laman. Baka may makita akong hint," I explained, not saying that I will just open the phone merely to know more about the guy I like.
"Are you sure? Ayaw mo ng tulong?" She raised a brow dahilan para mas malahata ang on fleek niyang kilay.
"Yes. I will chat you right away about the plan. Ako na ang bahala." Because honestly, I had no way out of this dare. Demonyo si Oshlov at hindi 'yan papayag na hindi gawin ang dare. I mentally sighed, kailangan kong pag-isipan nang maigi ang plano at sana may makuha akong kung ano man sa loob ng phone niya para matigil na itong pinsan ko.
Ipinasok ko na sa shoulder bag ko ang phone niya at tumingin sa paligid. I would do this overnight and would probably give back the phone tomorrow. I moved quick yet I still did it smooth and perfect. I trusted my own ways and not this demon. Yes, I was a badass pero kailangang hindi madehado si Cydeo sa plano. I couldn't lose him because I was already a step higher than the lowest.
"Okay. I trust you, bitch." Oshlov raised her hand. Makikipag-pinky promise siya na parang bata pero imbis na little finger, middle finger ang gamit niya.
I rolled my eyes. Wala na nga akong nagawa kung 'di sakyan ang trip niya. "Fuck you," I snorted.
"Hard, bitch." She laughed which made me give her a grimace.
"I only fuck guys, Oshi," I claimed.
She gave me a disbelief look. "And who says I do it with bitches?" She laughed again, louder as if telling me that I was an idiot to believe her punch line.
"As if. The hell I care." Tumayo na ako at mabilis na naglakad. Hindi ko siya nilingon. Dire-diretso lang ako hanggang sa natanaw ko si Mezka sa kalayuan. Napakunot-noo ako. She was talking with another guy.
Bumagal ang lakad ko at inobserbahan ko sila. Napansin kong nakapagpalit na siya ng damit. Well, malapit lang naman ang univ-canteen sa building namin dahil tatawid ka lang. Mukhang kararating lang din nila sa spot na 'yon.
Mezka looked so happy while the guy was touching her shoulder. Uh, that was bad. Bitch, I thought you were perfect. You should never hurt Cydeo. If you couldn't be contented just by loving him whole-heartedly, I could, I would, I had to.
I smirked. So now I got a better reason for this dare, huh.
I excused myself from my friends who were all drunk and wasted. I felt like my urinary bladder would explode any moment kaya naman patakbo na ang lakad ko at nilalampasan ang mga nagsasayawan sa buong bar.Nakakabingi, magulo, siksikan, mausok, amoy-alak at maraming 'di kaaya-ayang pangyayari ang nasa loob ng lugar na tinuturing kong tambayan. This was where I felt comfortable. Dito ko nailalabas kung sino talaga ako.Having nasty bad things around you was not an issue, it was how you let it affect you and how you would deal with it. Ang hirap kasi sa tao, masyadong ma-issue at judgmental. They kept on looking what's outside. Minsan kung sino pa yung mukhang santo, sila pa yung hindi mo aasahang demonyo. Yeah, right. Been there, done that.Napabuga ako ng hininga nang mailabas ko
"What's the use of being here if you're on your ear piece, Ibiza?" Nabigla ako nang tanggalin ni Oshlov ang headset ko dahilan para mapataas ang tingin ko sa kanya, technically, sa lahat ng tao sa table. There were all looking at me."What?" I asked and looked at her. "What?" I repeated and immediately shifted the tab. Pinapanuod ko ang isang event kung saan naglalakad sa runway si Cydeo pero nang silipin 'yon ni Oshlov, nasa music na 'to kung saan nagpe-play ang "Only You" by Little Mix.Nakita ko ang pagdududa sa mga mata ng demonyo kong pinsan kaya inagaw niya ang left ear piece ko since she was on my right. Pinakinggan niya rin 'to na para bang kahina-hinala ang pinakikinggan kong kanta.Bago pa mag-chorus ay tinanggal niya na rin 'yon at ibinalibag sa 'kin na hindi ko alam k
Two days of having a secret-on relationship with Cydeo felt exciting. Para kaming mga bata na nagre-rebelde sa mga tao. Us against the world but in reality, it was me against Mezka lang talaga.Naging maganda naman ang takbo ng mga pag-uusap namin ni Cydeo. Habang tumatagal, mas nakikilala ko siya. I was starting to unlike him now. Nakikita ko yung flaws at imperfections niya na agad kong tinanggap because all of them were reasonable and that made him, normal and reachable. With that though, hindi ko na siya gusto kasi unti-unti nang nagiging totoo yung nararamdaman konglove.I sighed after closing the laptop I just used a while ago. Naiayos ko na ang orders at natanggap ko na ang mga bayad. Malamang sa malamang, asikasuhin ko na rin ang pagpapadala ng mga natirang branded bags sa stock ko. Ayaw ko ng nagtatambak ng
I whimpered as I felt someone cuddling me. Dinama ko ang init ng katawan nito habang nakangiti at hindi pa rin dumidilat. Pilit kong inalala ang mga nangyari kagabi hanggang sa matauhan ako.My eyes widened when I realized that the man beside me was Cydeo. Susubukan ko sanang gumalaw pero napatigil ako nang maisip kong, bakit hindi ko sulitin ang oras na yakap niya ako?I reached my phone on the bed side table. I smiled at the camera habang nakayakap siya sa 'kin at tulog na tulog.Gotcha!We already had a picture together on bed. I smirked with that thought and put back my phone on the table.Pumikit ulit ako nang mas humigpit ang yakap niya sa 'kin. I was wondering if Mezka and Cydeo already did that thing but Cydeo was respectful and Mezka was conservative.
Fabrics were too fancy to the point that aesthetic cool lights reflected in every swift of the models' bodies. People who will walk in the show were all wearing heavy and pop makeups, even their bodies had highlighters that will make them glow on stage.As a club goer, I suited myself while grooving with the beat. The ambient sounds will give you a clue to what event you had entered, futuristic-water fantasy theme. I looked around and the runway amused me. The designs weren't just made of crepe papers, celophane or home linings that everyone used to see in amateur modelling shows. I nodded when I realized something, hindi basta-basta ang event na 'to. Maybe that was the reason why Cydeo really wanted to be part and featured in this event. He wouldn't be here if this will not give any credits to what he is aiming for. Kaya nga hindi na rin ako nagdalawang isip na suportahan siya at
Stephen introduced us to a new bar. Nagkaroon daw kasi doon sa bar before ng problema and he said that this one was more reliable and convenient. He was also the friend of the owner kaya iyon mismo ang nag-tour sa 'min. Kabubukas lang nito at malakas ang place. Maganda ang design, hindi dragging. Hindi mukhang pang lasing na agad ang ambience.We sat at the couches. Oo, marami. Bale apat na semi circle, nakapaikot ito sa isang oblong wooden table. Sa left side ako, katabi ko sa kaliwa si Cydeo at katabi ko naman sa kanan si George at Rashen na nakaupo sa kabilang couch. Sa tapat namin, si Olivia at Rasda. Sa kabilang couch naman, si Connor at Stephen. Stephen and Connor also ordered for our drinks though Cydeo already said that he will handle the expenses tonight.Mabilis ang service nila. Naihatid nga sa 'min kaagad ang vodkas, b
I let the noise of the crackers in my mouth filled the dull mood of the night which complemented a strong canned liquors that I was drinking. I looked at the package and smirked. Oh, this never failed me. "The best," I even murmured as if I was a commercial model of a certain brand of potato chips.I immediately smiled sweetly when I saw Rashen running towards me. Pansin ko rin ang pagmamadali niya. Napakunot din ako ng noo nang makita ko ang pagtagaktak ng pawis niya sa gabi.I spoke as he stopped near me. "You, okay?" I hesitated.Tumango lang siya. Lumapit siya sa 'kin at tumabi pa. Pinagpag ang usok na ibinuga ko at masama akong tinignan. "Sinisira mo baga mo," he smirked. "Pati atay pinapatay." He looked at my side. Nandoon ang limang canned liquors na ubos na tapos may lima
My eyes pierced to the new announcement posted on bulletin board. May mga tao ring tumitingin rito kaya naman hindi ko na rin naiwasang mapahinto. I scanned it from the headline down to our dean's signature.I wrinkled my nose. "Lapit na ng prelims natin. Naka-review ka na?" Napalingon ako sa sumangga sa bag ko at bumungad nga sa 'kin ang maaliwalas na mukha ni Stephen but instead of showing a cheerful side of me, I raised my brow."Uso ba mag-review?" balik kong tanong sa kanya na tinawanan niya lang. Napailing pa siya saka inayos ang pagkakasukbit niya ng bag niya habang ayos na ayos ang puting uniporme. I noticed something so I asked, "Bakit ka nandito sa building namin?"He chukled. "Akala ko hindi mo mapapansin," sabay gulo pa niya sa buhok ko. "I am here not for you," he pr
I instantly vibed with the song the moment I stepped in the bar George had told me to barge in. I even popped my chest and walked in rhythm based on the beat. My hands kept on snapping as I tried to look for my friends when, in fact, I could barely see people at this moment. The flickering neon lights dominated the whole room. Sinubukan ko silang hanapin sa kumpulan ng tao at nang mahagilap ko ang mahabang table kung saan may limang nagtatawanan, napangiti ako. Wearing a only a oversized sweater over my two-piece swimsuit, I joined them. Mabilis akong umupo sa tabi ni Olivia na mukhang pawis pa. I pointed her with a confused look while glancing at the two couples in front of me. "Halos sabay lang kayo. May inasikaso rin 'yan sa bagong libro na ilalabas ng team nila sa isang project kaya late," Oshlov initiated to answer me. "Galing ka sa—" Bago pa maipagpatuloy ni Stephen ang sasabihin niya ay tumango na ako saka ngumisi nang makita ko kun
The click of the glasses as we tossed for the celebration gave enough excitement to how the things I planned would work out. Everyone was filled with joy as they joined me in one of the happiest moment of my life. From doctors, pharmacists, co-workers, staff, interns, and the friends I gained in the field within the years of doing my projects and planning to build my own laboratory, they were all invited in the bar where I chose to celebrate this good news. Walang mintis at kumpleto sila. "Grabe, Ma'am. Parang dati lang nakikita pa kita sa hallway na busy sa pag-roam sa ibang class dahil tumatakbo kayong council president sa college of pharmacy." I couldn't help but smiled as one of my staff reminisced that moment of my college life. "Sana tuloy-tuloy na! Congrats, Ma'am! Finall
"French macarons. Isang box. Strawberry lahat."The cashier titled her head as she took my order. Pati tuloy ako ay napakunot-noo sa reaksyon niya. First time yata nitong makakita ng babaeng bakat ang nipples sa black silk camisole na spaghetti strap at mini skirt na fur ang tela."Excuse me." Akma kong tatanggalin ang mask kong kulay itim din nang bigla na siyang matauhan."Okay po, Ma'am." She immediately punched my order.Habang hinihintay ko siya, hindi ko maiwasang makinig sa mga empleyadong nagtatrabaho rito at naghahagikgikan. Lunch break naman kaya walang kaso at nasa pantry sila.Pero mabilis nang napataas ang kilay ko nang marinig ko na sila nang maayos.
"What if the lady isn't really the Beast and the Prince Charming is really meant for her?"Nakangiti akong pinagmamasdan ang nagbabardagulan kong mga kaibigan. Tawa sila nang tawa kahit na nagsisigawan at nagbabalyahan na sila. Napakaingay namin dito sa bar, buti na lang ay pagmamay-ari ni Stephen.I looked at him. Sakto namang napatingin siya sa 'kin tapos kumindat pa. I made face. "Lagot ka kay Oshlov," I mouthed to him without a sound. Napailing na lang siya habang natatawa-tawa sa tabi ng pinsan ko.His hands snaked around the waste of my cousin. Napatigil tuloy si Oshlov na nakikipagbangayan kay Olivia tungkol sa Beauty and the Beast, lasing na naman kasi ang princess namin. Oshlov smiled at Stephen and kissed him. Katapat ko lang sila kaya naman huling-huli ko a
I stepped on the gasoline as I felt the excitement to meet him on a date—on our Second anniversary, aside from the dating and courting time. May halong kaba pero mas pinangungunahan ako ng pagkasabik. I smiled, seeing the flowers placed on the shotgun seat of my car. Magugustuhan kaya niya ang surpresa ko? Naiwan kasi siya sa condo dahil maaga akong umalis para bumili ng bulaklak at pagkain. Napailing na lang ako.Panigurado. Wala naman akong ibinigay na hindi niya nagustuhan, at lahat naman ng tungkol sa 'kin, tinanggap niya.I sighed while my eyes were on the road. Years after years, maraming nagbago. Mas nakilala ko kung sino ako noong minahal ko nang buo at totoo ang sarili. At that process, kasama ko si Cydeo. He helped me to love myself more. He helped me to choose the things that will make me happy and, at the same time, will create a good harmony with ot
I stepped on the gasoline as I felt the excitement to meet him on a date—on our Second anniversary. Yes, I was already spending two years with him aside from the dating and courting time. May halong kaba pero mas pinangungunahan ako ng pagkasabik. I smiled, seeing the flowers placed on the shotgun seat of my car. Magugustuhan kaya niya ang surpresa ko? Naiwan kasi siya sa condo dahil maaga akong umalis para bumili ng bulaklak at pagkain. Napailing na lang ako.Panigurado. Wala naman akong ibinigay na hindi niya nagustuhan, at lahat naman ng tungkol sa 'kin, tinanggap niya. I sighed while my eyes were on the road. Years after years, maraming nagbago. Mas nakilala ko kung sino ako noong minahal ko nang buo at totoo ang sarili. In that process, kasama ko siCydeo.
I immediately touched the sound of silence as I turned off my soundtrack playing in my ears.I couldn't hide the smile that I was wearing after I passed my hardbound thesis manuscript to the thesis coordinator.I could finally get my diploma soonest.My heart still keep on giving a 'tump' effect on me as I walked out of the research center.I thought I just released all the negative vibes and my electrons loosen up.Electrons?Where did I get that?I laughed alone while shaking my head.I collected my thoughts and sighed when I puzzled and contemplated the premonitions and hunches I have right now.It had been two months after graduation.I haven't seenthem
When love failed, two reasons may arise.Either you love the right person at the wrong time or you love the wrong person at the right time.I thought, which one are we there with Cydeo?It's just as wrong but it's more frightening to think that maybe ... maybe it's not there.Maybe I loved the wrong person at the wrong time.I soaked myself in the water.I clung to the water while continuing to cry.There's nothing I can do if I don't feel the pain that has accumulated in my chest.How come the only person that saves me from sadness became the reason of my pain at this moment?How come the person that gives me sunshine in the days became the storm in the dark?How come the only person I thought would
After putting my matte lipstick on with the shade of nude, I looked at myself at the mirror.I smiled as I praised how my tanned skin and white fitted dress complemented each other to have a good color appearance.The dress wasn't just plain, its long sleeves and the abdominal part were see-through while the back part was opened.I was also wearing nude boots with five-inch heels which made me feel more comfortable with my outfit that was really perfect for Cydeo's event."Are you ready?"I asked him, while I was still wearing the earing he bought me.I noticed that he had been careless behind me for a while.I could also see in the reflection of the mirror how wrinkled his face was."I think I misplaced something," He murmured but still, I heard it.