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2021-08-19 01:22:01“Why did you never tell me.” I implore him, trying so hard to not fall to pieces knowing he’s carried this with him these last years, always had me on his body, etched over his heart. It’s so painfully beautiful.
Arrick gets up and comes around to beside me, kneeling on the floor so he can turn my face to his with a hand under my chin, wiping my tears with his fingers.
“It was for me… I didn’t want you to look at it and remember what it stood for.” He has tears in his eyes too. The momentous weight of this little thing isn’t lost on me at all. Hitting me like a freight train that he has always loved me, meaning he had never really been able to love her at all. I couldn’t see it any clearer than I do right now and it’s literally twisting my heart to shreds. Happy shreds, painfully but good. Crying even though it’s not out of sadness.
“You loved me… Even then?”
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The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 128
“I need to get up.” Arrick makes a move to get out of bed and I cling on desperately.“Nooooo… five more minutes.” I stick to him irrationally, hating that he needs to go get a flight and leave me for a week. The last twenty-four hours we have not left this bed except to eat and use the bathroom and I don’t want to uncurl from his naked body now. Especially not after the amount of times he has shown me exactly what that body is capable of doing to me. Shattered beyond belief, glad it’s Sunday so I can finally sleep as we haven’t done much of that and my body is tingling with every memory.“I don’t want to leave either, but if I am not on that flight in forty-five minutes Nate and James will kill me. I have to go, Sophs, I’ve delayed getting up twice already.” He laughs at me, trying to uncurl my grip on him gently and sliding nearer the edge of the bed.“I hate you.” I murmur as
Last Updated : 2021-08-19The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 129
“Stop laughing, I really don’t like you right now!” I sulk down the phone, pulling at my shoes on the couch of my apartment and glaring at them before tossing them away, as Arrick kills himself laughing down the other end of the line.“Baby? I’m sorry…” He bursts into another hysterical fit and I literally feel my temper rising. I am seriously not a happy camper with him right now, and what started as minor insult has escalated because he is an asshole. The biggest type of douche bag known to man and if he were here, I would make him eat my shoe.“I’m hanging up on you.” I pout, tears welling in my eyes and lip wobbling, stupidly hurt over a stupid text and acting dumb, but I can’t help it. He has this insane ability nowadays to hurt my feelings so much more easily than he ever did.“Sophie. Come on…. Don’t. I want to talk to you, that’s why I called instead.”
Last Updated : 2021-08-19The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 130
I throw the pasta and salad in my refrigerator, bending in to move over the vast amount of junk food and movie snacks that I went a bit overboard with, and pushing Arry’s favorite bottle of dressing in the door. Counting down the hours to him getting home. The last thing he text was he would call when he got to the airport, and I haven’t heard from him since. I know the day after a big fight is usually hectic for him with reporters, paparazzi and media vying for his attention, especially after a big win, and I hate this wall of silence. I have no clue when he’s even getting here. I lean in further to fish out a bottle of water and straighten up to close the door.“Miss me?” The voice startles me, spinning to see him casually closing my door behind him and cannot control the squeal that erupts from me. Chargi
Last Updated : 2021-08-19The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 131
Arrick slides down from his position behind me at the couch and slumps on the floor, using it as a back rest as I flop sideways and stretch out on the full length of the sofa, feeling his head and hair nearby and pushing my fingers into the spiky hair on top. He leans into my hand and sighs heavily, both of us equally worn out and breathless. Neither of us have a stitch of clothing on, yet my body heat is through the roof and generally feel like I could sleep. Heart pounding from exertion and every single part of my skin and inner body is tingling all over.“Jesus baby… My little porn star. Who knew I would find a girl who matched my stamina? I almost bailed because I thought I was going to have a heart attack mid-way through. Now that…. Was worth missing you for a week!” He turns and hits me with a boyish smile, catching my eye from his angle as I can only try and regain my breath, calm my racing pulse and seriously luxuriate in the marathon of posi
Last Updated : 2021-08-19The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 132
I yawn for the millionth time in the aquarium and blink at the bright light of a flash nearby, body heavy and achy from too much today. Arrick is walking behind me with his arms around my waist, pushing my tired body around like a child.“Maybe you need a nap before we get dinner.” He nuzzles his nose against my ear from behind, pushing his knees into my legs so he can keep me walking, and holding me up bodily. To anyone watching I am behaving like a stroppy kid who doesn’t want to walk around anymore, and I don’t care. He has walked my legs off, after keeping me up half the night with his undying libido, after a week’s separation. Taken a million selfies at various tanks and ponds and tired me out on some pedal boats for an hour. I am beyond shattered and never ever good when I am tired; I resort to being a five year old kid in a temper tantrum when I can’t be bothered anymore. Completely flaked out and unable to enjoy anymore of this day
Last Updated : 2021-08-19The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 133
There’s no foreplay, no real working up to it, just two people going crazy with desire, lost in a need to have each other, and caught in the moment. He pushes inside of me, lifting me up by the thighs and makes me moan out with the way he slides inside. Noses together, eyes locked as he thrusts into me. Both of us panting with the way it’s happening; my arms around his neck and clawing at him already with how good he always feels within me.Arrick kisses me hard, sucks on my lip then rams me against the car harder, so he is deep inside me as I gasp in pleasure, moaning around him. I pull open his shirt, nibble at his jaw and neck, rake my nails down the exposed flesh as he thrusts into me aggressively, heated banging against the car and I don’t care who hears us.We have never been like this, even with the marathon of kinky sex positions over the last few days, we have never had a fast-heated quickie without serious make-out and foreplay coming first,
Last Updated : 2021-08-19The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 134
I roll over and open my eyes, completely refreshed after sleeping so long and the smell of food drifting my way. I sit up on the couch and blink at the tv, still playing on low, the noise of Arrick clanging pans or whatever’s in the kitchen, and gaze over the back of the couch to watch him.He’s been making Ragu sauce by the smell of it; his moms’ recipe and I can see the pasta on the counter, he made his own. She used to teach me how to do all that stuff when I was younger too, but I never had any real affinity with cooking. He seems to enjoy it when he’s in the mood and everything smells heavenly.I don’t know what time it is, but the skyline over by the dining table looks too dark to be early evening and I wonder if hens changed his mind about going out tonight with his friends.I know Jenny is meant to be coming, but Christian is with his boyfriend tonight and won’t be making a show of himself. We are celebrating Arrick&rs
Last Updated : 2021-08-19The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 135
I’m still smiling as I’m led hand in hand across the hall of the nightclub towards the inner entranceway, Arrick has his phone to his ear and is trying to locate his friends, now we are here, almost two hours later than intended.Arrick made good on peeling my panties off, after teasing me mercilessly after dinner. He made love to me when we were supposed to be getting ready that turned into another marathon of assorted positions, and now we are seriously late. I am starting to think he might be right about matched stamina, I even made him sweat this time, and he gave up before I did. Calling a time out and having to lay on the bed with me on top to finish what he started. Was my first time being in control and I think I like it the most.I’m eyeing up that tight, firm ass in black jeans, his upper body encased in his leather jacket, over a dark grey shirt and from here he looks like a swoon some cover model for about any sexy male product cu
Last Updated : 2021-08-19
Latest chapter
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 222
I deserve it, I know I do, probably worse, it’s not even that painful but as I stare at her again, I can’t hide how much it actually wounded my heart. Sophie has lashed out at me before, sure, in crazy ways, frenzy fueled attacks when lost in her pain or triggered with her PTSD, but she’s never slapped me in the face for anything. This was a direct ‘how fucking dare you’ kind of assault that speaks volumes to the depths of the carnage I’ve caused on her soul.“You lost me. You don’t get to do that anymore.” She wails at me, pulling my hands and arms from her body and shoves me back with as much force as she can muster. Prickly, seething, hating me with utter crushing heartbreak. She’s breathing as heavily as I am although her pain and hysteria seem to be calming mine and I know I need to stay patient and cool if I’m going to bring her down from fierce.I know how to deal with her at her worst, I can hand
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 221
Arrick’s POV~ Leila’s party ~Leila’s party is losing its sparkle for me. Too drunk, too miserable at having to see Sophs swanning around with golden boy Christian all night and I am done with being here. I’ve said my goodbyes to my brother and I’m leaving before I do something stupid I’m going to totally regret concerning ‘boyfriend’ and drag Sophs into a dark corner to kiss the shit out of her if I stay here. Seeing her looking this beautiful, this happy with someone else is killing me.I spy Sophs, Leila, and Daniel huddled together at the front door as I head that way, a little too late due to not watching where I was going and swerve at the last second before she spots me. My heart lurching at running into her again when I’m already a complete emotional wreck. Hating that even still, my initial reaction to seeing her is a swift kick in the gut. Almost keeling sideways because I am way too
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 220
Arrick’s POV~ Seeing Sophie again. (Restaurant) ~I push the money in the driver’s hand as I follow Charlie and Tom out of the cab onto the sidewalk. I’m still tired from my three hours in the training ring and starving, it’s my turn to pay for lunch and I got to pick the venue. This place is new and no chance of Natasha hitting it with her colleagues on her lunch break either. I’ve been trying to put distance between us since the breakup, trying to stay out of her way and I hate that she has a knack for showing up wherever I am. It feels like she just won’t let go, and although I understand her pain at our breakup, it’s also stifling, and I just want her to move on. She won’t do that if she keeps trying to cling to me.“Hurry up, man.” Tom, my sparring partner today is impatient as hell and throwing me a look that is supposed to hurry me up. I straighten on the street and glare him down.
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 219
It kills me that I can love her this much and was stupid enough to give that up, to give her up. It’s so black and white in the clear light of my brain defogging and how fucking dumb I am. It was never about what my heart wanted; it was always about what was best for everyone else’s.I don’t want Natasha; I don’t think I ever really did. I want Sophie. If I’m being honest then I’ve always wanted her, needed her. It’s why I could never ignore the two a.m. cries for help. It’s part of my soul to be there for her to fall on, to depend on, to call, and lean on. I grew up for her and became her rock, gave her that safe space to grow and heal and kept the world at bay so it didn’t touch her. I created our bubble together so Sophie could thrive and feel secure, enjoy life without fear and I always told myself it was because I never had a kid sister and she just screamed out for protection. So precious, so angelic and I wanted to
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 218
Arrick’s POV~ Breaking up with Natasha ~Sitting on my couch, leaning forward with elbows propped on my knees, I stare at my cell for the millionth time and scroll to Sophie’s name on the list. Last call was twenty-eight days ago... twenty-eight long days of hell, silence, loneliness, and lack of Sophie. Twenty-eight days; the last time I felt anything but the constant absence of her and heavy pit in my stomach, from her disappearing in every single way, and leaving a gaping silent sunless space in my life.I’m missing her like crazy, keeping her last texts messages because it’s all I have left of her to hold on to. I scroll to the very last one, again. It’s a nothing text; I don’t even remember what it was in response too, as it’s not connected to the conversation before it. Just one single text, one that sums her up in so very few words and I stare at it as my chest heaves with that same ingrained weight
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 217
Natasha’sPOV~ Life after Sophie ~I watch Arrick push his food around his plate distractedly, eyes on what he’s doing, yet he seems completely detached from the here and now. We’re in a busy restaurant, the food is good, the company not so much; he has barely said two words the whole time we have been here, and he has had about four beers with dinner so far.Arrick never drinks excessively, normally, but I guess this sums up our life of the past three weeks. I’m irritated, upset but I am trying to keep the pleasantries going. I am trying so hard to not let it get to me, to keep a smile on my face, a positive outlook that we can get through this bump in the road of our relationship, but he makes it so hard.I try not to watch him too much as I eat my own food and give up on small talk. His nods and ‘hmm’ responses make me want to throw my wine glass at him, and I am trying to avoid all forms of naggi
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 216
Arrick’s POV~ Letting Sophie go ~I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling of my room. I haven’t moved from this spot all night, still fully dressed and unable to even get up and function. The weight in my chest is almost holding me in place, crushing me with the pain, and I can’t stop running last night through my mind endlessly. I’m restless, torn, scrunching my fingers in my hair like I can rip this out of my head. The worst sort of agony that surpasses all.I want to go to her room and see her, but I can’t. I can’t get her out of my head, even though she is only feet away and it’s torturing me.I kissed Sophie... I did more than kiss her, and it felt good, it felt right. It made me feel a thousand things about her that I can’t even begin to analyze, comprehend how to, and all it did was make everything fall apart even more than it was, especially when Natasha showed up and slapped me back to
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 215
Arrick’s POV~ After the nightclub ~I sink back on the couch and stare into the semi darkness, cradling my second coffee since we got back here, and try like hell to sober myself up. Head swimming and sinking slowly into the softness of my couch, while trying to get a grip on reality. All I have done since we got home is sit here and try to pull all the shit in my head back together. Try to make sense of the entire night that pretty much went to crap from the moment I downed the first vodka.Drink and I are not friends right now, and if I have any chance of salvaging anything, then I need to sober up fast. Sophie is in the shower, she headed there as soon as we got back, and I sat here waiting for her. I need to talk to her, to figure some of this out and I have no clue what to do. Tonight, taught me a couple of things.One. That drunk, I feel about Sophie the way she feels about me and I want her in every way; physically, menta
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 214
Sophie grabs my wrist and tries to yank me to the side, but I cannot tear my eyes from her. I want to tell her I made a mistake, that she is who I want, that she is all I can even think about. I want to wipe away the memory of that asshole on her body, and replace it with memories of kissing her softly, cherishing her always. No one should ever touch her, except me.“Natasha.” She snaps at me and slaps my hands down from her face harshly, bringing my focus back to reality again. I tear my eyes from her and glance up as I see Tasha heading our way, looking completely non-plussed and again the accompanying guilt is like a constant shadow with her, and wracks me to the bone and almost smashes me in the skull. Nothing hits home and drills to my shame brain, like Natasha’s appearance.It makes me feel shit for even thinking what I just did. That same doubt and uncertainty hitting me with equal force, and I sigh hard. So much for fucking choosing.&l
