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It’s late afternoon, I’m pacing on the upper deck in a mix of agitation, upset, and anger. A turmoil of emotions and I want to scream.
“I’m not talking to you!” I pout childishly, rage beginning to grow inside of me at his confession. Turning away from him on the main deck of the boat, I pull my sarong tightly around my waist and tie it off with an angry tug.
“Bambino, please.” He tries to catch my arm, but I storm away. He stifles a laugh and comes at me again. “You’re really mad at me?” He sounds like he’s in disbelief that I could actually be angry over this.
I forgot how obtuse he can be.
He catches my face in his hands, trying to bring me to him and croons at me softly, his baby voice coming on strong. It only makes me so much madder and I shove his hands off and glare fully at him.
“Baby? …… bambino? … Don’t be l
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The Carrero Effect 123
I turn in his arms and hug him fully, savoring his naked skin on my bikini clad body, hot and smooth and strong. Sending tingles and aches through me so easily while taking my mind far from the topic that’s hurting me, my insides responding on some primal level.“Make me laugh. Distract me,” I whisper against him, indicating that I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I don’t want to think of that creep any longer. Burying my face against his chest.For the last few days, it’s all he’s done, even over stupid, tiny disagreements, he somehow manages to take it all away and get me to smile and laugh. I want that more than ever right now, to remove this heavy knot in my stomach at realizing my father was the scum I always believed him to be. The disappointment I always knew he was.He moves me out of his arms so I’m standing in front of him, bends down and picks me up over his shoulder in one swift movement, making m
The Carrero Effect 124
I stay still and quiet, waiting now he’s no longer touching any part of my body and the inability to see has heightened all my other senses drastically. I flinch and yelp when a warm hand touches my inner thigh, then giggle in reaction and hear him stifle a soft laugh.A warm mouth follows, causing me to arch my back from the bed in response, it feels completely different and far too good. Held captive, completely at his mercy and unable to predict his movements. Every single touch is heightened to an intoxicating degree. I’m vulnerable with no control in every way, but I like it, it’s exhilarating because I’m so completely trusting of him and know I am safe, even tied down and exposed. Old Emma would have died like this.He unties the straps of my bikini pants, slowly, pulling them free, sliding them away, my body lifting to aid the removal. His knees dip the bed at each side of my hips, so I guess he’s straddling me, but nothing else tou
The Carrero Effect 125
He quickens the pace until he’s slamming hard into me, almost ruthlessly, both of us breathing hard, eliciting soft grunts and moans. He’s gripping my waist so tightly I know it’ll leave marks with passion overtaking gentleness and lust driving him further. I savor the roughness and know this is not lovemaking, this is Jake’s definition of fucking and I like it.I cry out with every thrust. I love what he’s doing, I anticipate every movement, grind back to him, encourage it to be harder. Every jolt sending a deep wave of pleasure, my body losing all control as I begin to hit that dizzying height again. I moan loudly as the tension builds, this time it’s so fast and so close to the last, it threatens to tear me apart. The build-up making me pant out loud; heat, and wetness which only seems to make him more excited and he thrusts harder and faster. Jake screws me senseless.I’m unable to slow it down, held captive in my pose, his
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I wake up and try to stretch out, but I’m restricted by Jake’s heavy body, wrapped around me like always. If I have one complaint about my lover, it’s this unearthly way of sleeping. He literally manages to get as much skin on skin and limb twisting as possible and somehow maneuvers me into positions while unconscious that defy the human body’s ability to bend.I slide a leg out from between his, rotating my foot to get some feeling back and attempt at retrieving an arm which has gone to sleep pressed under his weight. He is impossible to get loose from in bed, the second I move free he reaches out and re-curls himself to me, pulling my limbs to how he wants them around him. He’s sleeping heavily, I can tell by his deep, even breaths, so moving slowly I manage to get myself loose with some effort.Sitting up beside him, I gently stroke his cheek with a smile on my face. His sleeping habits are more of an insecure child longing for cuddles
The Carrero Effect 127
My voice catches in my lungs and I can’t formulate a reply, I just stare at him in open-mouthed silence, inner tingles waving over me like hot sauce. Jake’s never mentioned marriage before, I know he loves me, but part of me still finds it hard to believe he loves me as much as this.“You want to marry me one day, right?” He halts and suddenly sounds so young and unsure, my silence making him think I’m freaking out in a bad way. I guess a small part of me is, but mostly I’m shocked into silence. He moves closer, panic in his face, the doubt that he’s said something he shouldn’t have. I reach out for him and he follows, wrapping himself within my arms.“I just didn’t think you would want that with me,” I mumble, the tears stinging my eyes for a different reason and I sniff.“Why wouldn’t I? You know how I feel about you … I’ve told you enough times.” His face comes to
The Carrero Effect 128
“By eighteen, I was good at defending not only myself but her, I would chase them out with my bat swinging. I’d learned to use my anger effectively, I had so much of it, so much hatred inside of me. I would just keep hitting until my arms ached with the effort … I smashed two of her boyfriend’s cars up in a bid to chase them off.” I shift position on the bed, pulling my legs out and stretching them out, sighing heavily. “She would hate me after and make me go elsewhere to cool down so I slept rough for days on end because she wouldn’t let me come home until I apologized to them for it, which meant returning to being abused in one way or another.” I laugh sardonically, my wonderful mother and her screwed-up sense of parenting.“Ray was the first one to put me back down on my ass and show me I was no match for a man … He wanted me to have sex with him and when I refused, he bea
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The departure from the boat this morning is tense, Marissa calls several times, ending in heated arguments over Jake’s refusal to meet with lawyers until she agrees to Jake’s terms and not hers. Every time causes Jake to hang up in agitation and throw his phone in various directions, violently, cursing and going off in a full Italian rant. I sit watching with my breath held until he calms down, unsure what to say to bring him back to a simmer instead; there isn’t much to calm that hot temper and I know to let it run its course. His emotions are on edge with the topic of the baby and Marissa seems to know exactly how to push his buttons.The flight home is silent, listening to music as he thrashes emails back and forth to his legal advisor about the meeting over paternity rights. He’s tense and agitated and very much the Jake Carrero I used to work for; boyfriend Jake on hiatus as he frowns his way through a heated typing rampage, his poor laptop taking
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“Ready?” He gazes at me as his car door is opened and holds out his hand. The Carrero building looms up in front of us and it feels like I haven’t been here in weeks. So much has changed in such a short time. He slides out of the car, pulling me with him and straightens up as Jefferson shuts the door behind us. Normally, Jake would use the underground car park, but Jefferson has errands to run for him today, so we are being dropped at the front door. This is all very public, right outside the main entrance to Carrero House in the morning rush. I take a deep, anxious breath, pushing down the onslaught of emotions and nod and try not to run away.I tense as we enter the building, the urge to pull my hand out of his as heads turn at our arrival. Faces beaming our way, quiet whispers, and stifled grins as people pretend not to be staring. We are obviously the talk of the building and very much confirming rumors while walking hand in hand through the foyer.
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