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127
My voice catches in my lungs and I can’t formulate a reply, I just stare at him in open-mouthed silence, inner tingles waving over me like hot sauce. Jake’s never mentioned marriage before, I know he loves me, but part of me still finds it hard to believe he loves me as much as this.
“You want to marry me one day, right?” He halts and suddenly sounds so young and unsure, my silence making him think I’m freaking out in a bad way. I guess a small part of me is, but mostly I’m shocked into silence. He moves closer, panic in his face, the doubt that he’s said something he shouldn’t have. I reach out for him and he follows, wrapping himself within my arms.
“I just didn’t think you would want that with me,” I mumble, the tears stinging my eyes for a different reason and I sniff.
“Why wouldn’t I? You know how I feel about you … I’ve told you enough times.” His face comes to
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The Carrero Effect 128
“By eighteen, I was good at defending not only myself but her, I would chase them out with my bat swinging. I’d learned to use my anger effectively, I had so much of it, so much hatred inside of me. I would just keep hitting until my arms ached with the effort … I smashed two of her boyfriend’s cars up in a bid to chase them off.” I shift position on the bed, pulling my legs out and stretching them out, sighing heavily. “She would hate me after and make me go elsewhere to cool down so I slept rough for days on end because she wouldn’t let me come home until I apologized to them for it, which meant returning to being abused in one way or another.” I laugh sardonically, my wonderful mother and her screwed-up sense of parenting.“Ray was the first one to put me back down on my ass and show me I was no match for a man … He wanted me to have sex with him and when I refused, he bea
The Carrero Effect 129
The departure from the boat this morning is tense, Marissa calls several times, ending in heated arguments over Jake’s refusal to meet with lawyers until she agrees to Jake’s terms and not hers. Every time causes Jake to hang up in agitation and throw his phone in various directions, violently, cursing and going off in a full Italian rant. I sit watching with my breath held until he calms down, unsure what to say to bring him back to a simmer instead; there isn’t much to calm that hot temper and I know to let it run its course. His emotions are on edge with the topic of the baby and Marissa seems to know exactly how to push his buttons.The flight home is silent, listening to music as he thrashes emails back and forth to his legal advisor about the meeting over paternity rights. He’s tense and agitated and very much the Jake Carrero I used to work for; boyfriend Jake on hiatus as he frowns his way through a heated typing rampage, his poor laptop taking
The Carrero Effect 130
“Ready?” He gazes at me as his car door is opened and holds out his hand. The Carrero building looms up in front of us and it feels like I haven’t been here in weeks. So much has changed in such a short time. He slides out of the car, pulling me with him and straightens up as Jefferson shuts the door behind us. Normally, Jake would use the underground car park, but Jefferson has errands to run for him today, so we are being dropped at the front door. This is all very public, right outside the main entrance to Carrero House in the morning rush. I take a deep, anxious breath, pushing down the onslaught of emotions and nod and try not to run away.I tense as we enter the building, the urge to pull my hand out of his as heads turn at our arrival. Faces beaming our way, quiet whispers, and stifled grins as people pretend not to be staring. We are obviously the talk of the building and very much confirming rumors while walking hand in hand through the foyer.
The Carrero Effect 131
“I ummm, think I need you to look these over in your office,” I chirp brightly, deliberately getting up to walk sexily into his room without a backward glance. I make sure I walk to his desk in full sight of the open door and bend over enough to slide the file down, just enough for my jacket to ride up, exposing my tight skirt, hugging my butt, lifting one foot slightly as though I’m reaching out, so my legs look shapelier in the confined material. The door shuts behind me almost immediately, his hands running up my thighs and igniting passion; I’m turned and thrown over his shoulder instantly, letting out a small squeal and giggle as he marches me toward that internal door.* * *I stretch out in my chair and arch my back, my desk is littered with papers, my laptop, files, and an overwhelming amount of random crap. It’s been a hard few days, not made any easier by my oversexed boss-lover and his attempts
The Carrero Effect 132
“It makes no sense to me having you beside me at work, then you going home to Queens at night … I want you home with me, to kick back and unwind. Here, we’re starting to get back into our roles as boss and PA … I want my girlfriend when we’re not working.”“Sarah’s going to try and talk me out of it” I sigh, watching him play with my fingers one by one, enjoying the sensation. “She’ll think we’re rushing things.” I look up at him and shake my head when he shrugs, his answer to everything. Infuriatingly so.“I’m not going to force you, Emma … Go see her, collect what you need for this week anyway then let me know what you decide … I won’t be mad, but I want you to know that it will happen.” He moves forward, kissing me quickly before letting me get up to leave. I ruffle my fingers lightly through his hair for a moment, smiling at the way he looks up at m
The Carrero Effect 133
We’re sitting with feet entwined on the huge king size bed in Jake’s bedroom, backs against the padded headboard and a mountain of cushions with some action movie playing on his oversized flat screen TV hanging from the ceiling. There are Chinese food tubs standing all over the bed around us, open and easy to reach for dipping into.I’m wearing one of his T-shirts after our not so clean bubble bath and he’s in a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a naked torso, showcasing his chiseled body and tribal ink perfectly. I have a serious case of ‘my boyfriend’s so hot’ swoons as I watch his muscular arms and shoulders flex and tense as he shovels food into his mouth with the expertise of an avid Chinese food eater. He leans forward with chop sticks full of noodles and pops it in my mouth without waiting to ask if I even want any, his eyes glued to what he’s watching. I’m being obedient and letting him stuff me full of food despite
The Carrero Effect 134
“I’m too much woman to be your side chick, I’m an all or nothing kind of guy when it comes to you.” Daniel doesn’t even look back. There’s a moment of pause, his body language changes subtly as he changes tone completely. “Have you heard from Leila lately?” His voice instantly tense, I catch Jake frowning at the back of his head rather pointedly for a moment.“Why would you ask about Leila? I thought you two stayed well clear of each other?” Jake sits up, I know that look on his face. A dog with a bone, sniffing out some little secret. Whatever he’s caught onto has peaked his Rottweiler mode.“No reason. Just, you know, sometimes I wonder how she is.” Daniel slides his food on the floor and lays out across the end of the bed lifting his feet up to get comfy.“Okay, cut the shit. What happened with Leila?” Jake’s domineering protective tone cuts in, he picks up the TV
The Carrero Effect 135
Returning to the room I climb into bed properly, stripping back to his T-shirt and pick up a book from my bedside table, some light-hearted romance Leila gave me that never piqued my interest back then. It’s not too late but it’s past seven, so going to bed isn’t exactly unheard of. It’s not long before my over exhausted mind drifts off mid-sentence. * * *“Baby, no!” Jake’s disappointed voice breaks into my sleepy state. “I had plans for you.” His voice is husky and thick but I’m too tired to open my eyes.“I’m exhausted.” I sigh, enjoying his hands on my face, the heavy weight of his body on top of me, he smells good, a little too good.“You’re such a lightweight, bambino … I’m going to have to build your stamina up.” He kisses me on the forehead and lifts off me. “I’m going down to the gym
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