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2021-08-20 18:09:06I wake up so late it’s crazy, after sleeping more than twelve hours and curse myself for not getting up and starting my day hours earlier, like I planned. It totally screws up all my good intentions for today as it’s blooming noon already. My hair appointment is at one so that gives me enough time to shower, dress and go out and get that done first before I even get a look in at anything else. My shopping trip and beauty treatments are all this afternoon, so I have that still to look forward to anyway. It’s just all my plans concerning details of the club that will have to wait.
I obviously needed it. I do feel so much better, and falling asleep before eleven p.m. must have given my immune system a long overdue break as I don’t even feel anywhere near as ill as I have done these past days. It’s probably due to my healthier surroundings too, the sanitary conditions and some real food last night.
I rarely had that when I was working in
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 96
It’s nice to finally be appreciated, even if it’s only because he was losing money. It’s something anyway. From worthless and not wanting me around, to actually being needed on my own merits and skills and nothing pertaining to sex. It gives me a little feeling of something warm, maybe pride and for the first time in my life, I feel a little worthwhile for a talent that has nothing to do with my body or my looks. Something to give that’s more than my flesh and something I can actually care about.‘I will max your card, just pre-warning you.’ I add in afterthought, another little prod at him. I may as well make the most of it while I can and Alexi brings those almost colourless eyes back to mine with another annoyed glance.‘Whatever; just be back before seven. I need to see you before I go. We didn’t finish talking.’I blanch at him.Whatever? He gave me a ten grand limit card, and
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 97
I guess the feeling is mutual, he looks devilish in a sexy way still.And we are back to that little pet name of his that I dislike so much. I stare at him for a long moment, wondering what he has up his sleeve with such a generous offer, and tap my nails on the bar impatiently; Brain in overdrive and not afraid to be shameless.‘Triple what you paid me before. Seeing as I am no longer hostess and I will make this club better than it ever was. New York!’ I throw my new pet name at him. If it’s good enough for the goose, then it’s good enough for the gander.I have the upper hand; if he really wants me here then he won’t argue. Triple is probably a little greedy but I think I deserve it after all the shit he put me through. It also means if I save and end up back on the dump then I have instant funding to get far away from here. Backup plan in motion. I’m going to tuck away enough cash to make sure I never end up back in the me
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 98
My suspicious brain immediately jumps to the worst kind of conclusions and I pale … blood running icy cold through my veins as my breathing labours.The thought that maybe he wants me to finish the job I didn’t do very well last time I put a gun to my head flits through my mind. Maybe he’s arming me so next time I can just do it somewhere alone where he won’t have to sit and watch or feel obliged to intervene.I try to pull my head out of the gutter, but my trembling hands and light head are hitting me with all sorts of warnings. Alexi doesn’t seem fazed at all.‘It’s for you, take it. I need to show you how to handle it.’ He just carries on as though he’s oblivious to my complete freak-out.‘I don’t want it!’ It’s out as fast as a lightning bolt, panic hitting hard, and no matter what he has going on in that clever head I am avoiding it at all costs.‘I don’
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 99
Alexi looks at me for a long pause then softy exhales and looks down to break eye contact, eyebrows dipping further, and for a second, he just looks weary and almost human … A little lowering of his infernal armour to show something real. I just stay rooted to my spot, cradling my odd gifts against my chest and can’t look away from him.So much tension sizzling in the air.‘Do you think I would give you half my club if my intention was to hurt you again?’ He doesn’t look me in the eyes this time, eyes on his desk as he leans down and flattens his palm on the surface where I took a huge chunk out of the wood by throwing the gun on it, but he doesn’t look annoyed. He just rests on his arms and leans forward, losing that intimidation in this casual stance and I loosen my hold on the bundle in my arms.I don’t know why, but the change in atmosphere and the way he’s acting lowers my guard too, and for once I feel like
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 100
I went to bed earlier than I intended to last night, unable to deal with knowing he could turn up with some random slut and I wanted to be asleep before he did. I downed two sleeping pills to make sure I was oblivious to any sexual moaning or appearance of his playthings and woke up groggy before getting down here as fast as I could. I had no intention of awkward morning greetings either and even though I am tired and feeling listless, I submerge myself into sorting the club out.It’s cleaner and the brewery is restocking the basement as we speak. I have cases of foreign booze being shipped in and the kitchen is being filled with fresh ingredients to feed the staff. Joanne had stopped that service the second I was out the door, meaning no food was supplied at any point from the girls coming on or leaving twelve hours later.It’s a gruelling shift and not exactly convenient to pop out for takeout, and she should have thought about that before she started hav
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 101
The car park is less stuffy and a welcome break from the club indoors. Even with all its sexy lighting and modern exterior, it is still a huge black box that has little to no natural daylight inside and the way it is secured means it doesn’t ever have open windows for fresh air. It relies heavily on electrical lighting and air-con to keep the flow and temperature.It doesn’t compare to coming outside to just breathe and feel some real sun on your limbs. Something I did a lot of when working in the diner, inhaling fried grease all day long.I perch my butt on a low brick wall that juts out along in front of one the new metal fences. It used to be the old territory marker for where to park, but is pointless since he turned this into a hemmed in paddock and acts as a makeshift bench of sorts. Leaning my head back against the fence I slide my shoes off and stretch out my naked legs to warm in the sun for a while. My dress is knee length and rides up a little as
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‘All it takes is one jerk to take that gun from me, in a fight or a fumble because I hesitate, or he’s just quicker and turns it back to become my end instead of my protection. I would rather not tip the balance of outcomes by carrying something that could be used on me, Alexi. It’s not me. I don’t want to walk around always aware of that thing under my dress, always worried that I might have need of it because it’s there. I know how my brain works, and if you make me walk around with it, I’m going to be a nervous wreck, always fixating on the fact it’s there. Let’s be honest, in your world, danger aimed at me is always going to be male and probably trained a lot better than I will ever be. It won’t be something that keeps me safe. It will make me feel the exact opposite.’ It’s not really the speech I had prepared last night because under that angry scrutiny of grey eyes piercing my skull it’s hard to thin
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 103
Alexi is acting differently, treating me differently. Yet, he is still the same as he always was to everyone else. Seeing glimpses of him like this is seeing glimpses into the person he is around Mico and his family when no one is around to be Mafia King for. The person Mico will openly question and argue with in private. Not the sadistic overbearing arsehole he is in public with him.The club is sparse right now because of the time of day and all the people in here are either non-important tenders or Carrero men on security detail. Carreros he knows well, mostly. Alexi is relaxed and off guard and not keeping up the manner of brooding Boss. He’s blanking me, but yet not bothering to put on any act with me in the room either.This can’t just be about running his club, can it? Watching him joke and laugh with his cousin reminds me of this morning, before I put him in a foul mood. Seeing hints of humour and good vibes I wonder if I have cross
Last Updated : 2021-08-20
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 190
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
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Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
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They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
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“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
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Teeth, tongues, lips, coming together of a rather aggressive game of tonsil tennis as his hands slide up my body and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning quietly with the way he ignites every nerve ending in me. Body tingling and on fire within seconds as I rub myself against the button and rough zip on his trousers, pushing myself into a fevered frenzy of longing.There is no real foreplay, just a sudden need to consummate our passion right here and now and I reach down and unbutton him so he can spring free from the confines of fabric. Alexi feels me out, probing my warmth with his fingers, finding me wet and willing and doesn’t waste time on formalities.He slides into me soon as he leans back over me and presses down on me as he does so, so our bodies fit snugly and muffle my moans of pleasure as they overtake me. Snug as a hand in a glove, he fills me up in the best kind of way, spreading that pulsating, gorgeously good feeling up through my pelvis and i
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These are things people figure out before they marry someone, and here we are, already invested and now I’m thinking about the fact I should have told him this already.Babies! Not a fucking chance in hell. He won’t know, unless he did read all my journals, but even then. I wouldn’t say it was obvious from those diary excerpts that my inability to have kids was permanent or even a blessing. I went over the abortion and such and the after-effects and recovery, but I don’t think I ever spelt it out, in black and white, that my body no longer produces eggs for any chance of fertilisation.How do you tell the man cradling a newborn like he was born to do so if that’s where his hopes lie then it won’t happen with me?How do I tell him that I can’t give him this and wouldn’t want to even if I could? Is this what he wants?The happy 2.4 children, family home a
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It’s not the expected outcome; grown woman turning to childish puppy dog mush, pawing at her angry husband like a devious minx; I find myself eye rolling at the lamest form of female manipulation there is.“You knew? You met her?” Accusatory tone as she tries to regain some footing. Alexi sighs loudly and I glance his way to see him turn and butt himself against the table, throwing me an unreadable look before he downs another drink and I try not to count how many that is. By the look of his sudden lack of trying, I guess he has been prone to scenes like this before, where his father had to steamroll in to defend him, and Alexi mentally goes off on a cruise and leaves him to it. I just stand here like an idiot, a third wheel and in no way wanting to witness this shit.“He’s my son. He has no secrets from me, he never did. Unlike you, he confides in me and comes to me often!” It’s putting her in her place and any other mother mi
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The house is huge and beautiful like some sort of movie set for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. A towering white mansion set in a beautiful green manicured garden like some modern painting. Set in the sunny Hamptons, near the coast in a very picturesque area that comprises of nothing but huge grand houses, that just spew wealth. I can see why the Carreros reign supreme here. It’s like the real housewives of Orange County.Their home a show house for sure, completely devoid of lived in family life and we are let in by a maid who ushers us into a sitting room in what appears to be a deserted house until she runs off to find our host. Marble entranceway not dissimilar to that of Alexi’s nearby abode, huge sweeping staircase in a flawless neutral palette. It’s glossy magazine worthy with massive professional vases of floral arrangements dotted at key points on expensive furniture around the edges of the room.I find it odd that Alexi is being treate
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“I can’t do this, Lexi.” My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I’m aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I’ve never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we’re having a cosy family brunch at Mummy’s house.Ugh. Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him
