“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.
I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.
Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
I turn in the uncomfortable, hard bed pulling the sheets up over the itchy hospital gown and try not to wince with every single pain that runs through my body. Even with the number of drugs they have pumped into me, it’s no picnic having broken ribs and a body that looks like it lost a fight with a train. I’m in agony and barely able to take a breath without the aching, burning shuddering waves, of a good old-fashioned beating.Tyler and his men are animals and I hate to think where I would be if Sophie had left me to them; what was inevitably my last night on Earth if they had their way. The girl didn’t owe me a damn thing, but she saved my bacon, and now I will be eternally grateful to her even if we never see one another again.I’m woozy, waking with the throbbing of pain after a fitful few hours dozing in and out of sleep. I feel like I have been here days already, even though I know the reality is, it’s only been half a day.So
I don’t know why I’m telling him this, I have never had a need to be honest with anyone in my life, but I get the vibe that lying to him about anything would probably be the single dumbest thing I ever did. Possibly the last too, as he seems like someone who can sniff out a lie at a ten-mile distance.‘‘I’ll take care of it. Call this number in the morning and give my man the details.’’ He extends something to me in the darkness and I catch a glimpse of a card in his hand as he leans in to hand it to me. I take it carefully, my hands shaking so badly and fearful of touching him—in case the devil can suck your soul out by contact alone. That’s the sort of chill I am getting.‘‘It’s two grand in rent.’’ I blanch at his offer and push the card into the sheet beside me, tucking it under my thigh. You don’t lose someone like Alexi Carrero’s number or leave it lying around for hos
‘‘Here, just like you wanted ... Today’s receipts, invoices from the deliveries, the tips, takings, and the till print off; would you like me to do anything else for you? Seeing as I am obviously not busy in Happy hour with serving customers and running myself ragged with your demands?’’ I glare at Luciano, throwing the papers on his cluttered desk, completely pissed that he made me do this on a Saturday night at eleven p.m. In our busiest season with Football playoffs and the bar is heaving since he opened it up to the public in Alexi’s absence.Luciano just glares right back with that unconcealed disdain he has for me since I arrived here. The short fat little balding creep has done nothing but rile me up the wrong way and put me down at every turn, from day one.The Camilla of the streets would have romanced him and blown him by now if he was of any value to me in this life but as I have my eye on a much bigger and sexier pr
A dick is a dick and when you are facing them shoved your way daily by over amorous arseholes who see you as a vessel for their pleasure and nothing else, it kills the buzz and suddenly your best lay is a battery operated boyfriend. At least it won’t smack you around or push itself down your throat and won’t stop until you reach your climax.My ‘’BOB’’ keeps me happy while I avoid disappointing sex and it’s less messy on the clean-up. It’s also never forced me into anything I didn’t want to do with brute force and I want to avoid any more beatings in my lifetime if I can help it. I have recovered from my fair share, and I am so done with broken bones and fractured limbs.I am lucky that in all the years and all the beatings I have taken I have very few scars and none that you can really see unless you look hard. Most of my scars I carry on my battered soul.I somehow think that Mr Carrero might have a few ski
‘‘Miss Walters? ’’ He eyes me sideways with more of a smirk than a smile and shakes his head lightly, almost a little cutely for someone like him. I hold my breath as he leans achingly close to me, shoulder to shoulder, dipping that huge height to meet my smaller frame a little. I have always had a thing for big men who make me feel delicate, and Alexi does exactly that; a perfect specimen.I inhale that heady spicy aftershave and again have to calm the fire going on in my nether regions at his close proximity. I swear he gives me the walking horn.‘’Yes, Mr Carrero?’’ I breathe sexily and angle my hip closer in a bid to reach him. Playing coy, lip biting and lifting my chin so he gets the kiss me vibes thrown his way shamelessly. Nothing to stop him going in for the kill, and he looks me dead in the eye, those almost colourless portals to a wicked mind that stir up all my crazy hormones, and yet they lose all warmt
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
Teeth, tongues, lips, coming together of a rather aggressive game of tonsil tennis as his hands slide up my body and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning quietly with the way he ignites every nerve ending in me. Body tingling and on fire within seconds as I rub myself against the button and rough zip on his trousers, pushing myself into a fevered frenzy of longing.There is no real foreplay, just a sudden need to consummate our passion right here and now and I reach down and unbutton him so he can spring free from the confines of fabric. Alexi feels me out, probing my warmth with his fingers, finding me wet and willing and doesn’t waste time on formalities.He slides into me soon as he leans back over me and presses down on me as he does so, so our bodies fit snugly and muffle my moans of pleasure as they overtake me. Snug as a hand in a glove, he fills me up in the best kind of way, spreading that pulsating, gorgeously good feeling up through my pelvis and i
These are things people figure out before they marry someone, and here we are, already invested and now I’m thinking about the fact I should have told him this already.Babies! Not a fucking chance in hell. He won’t know, unless he did read all my journals, but even then. I wouldn’t say it was obvious from those diary excerpts that my inability to have kids was permanent or even a blessing. I went over the abortion and such and the after-effects and recovery, but I don’t think I ever spelt it out, in black and white, that my body no longer produces eggs for any chance of fertilisation.How do you tell the man cradling a newborn like he was born to do so if that’s where his hopes lie then it won’t happen with me?How do I tell him that I can’t give him this and wouldn’t want to even if I could? Is this what he wants?The happy 2.4 children, family home a
It’s not the expected outcome; grown woman turning to childish puppy dog mush, pawing at her angry husband like a devious minx; I find myself eye rolling at the lamest form of female manipulation there is.“You knew? You met her?” Accusatory tone as she tries to regain some footing. Alexi sighs loudly and I glance his way to see him turn and butt himself against the table, throwing me an unreadable look before he downs another drink and I try not to count how many that is. By the look of his sudden lack of trying, I guess he has been prone to scenes like this before, where his father had to steamroll in to defend him, and Alexi mentally goes off on a cruise and leaves him to it. I just stand here like an idiot, a third wheel and in no way wanting to witness this shit.“He’s my son. He has no secrets from me, he never did. Unlike you, he confides in me and comes to me often!” It’s putting her in her place and any other mother mi
The house is huge and beautiful like some sort of movie set for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. A towering white mansion set in a beautiful green manicured garden like some modern painting. Set in the sunny Hamptons, near the coast in a very picturesque area that comprises of nothing but huge grand houses, that just spew wealth. I can see why the Carreros reign supreme here. It’s like the real housewives of Orange County.Their home a show house for sure, completely devoid of lived in family life and we are let in by a maid who ushers us into a sitting room in what appears to be a deserted house until she runs off to find our host. Marble entranceway not dissimilar to that of Alexi’s nearby abode, huge sweeping staircase in a flawless neutral palette. It’s glossy magazine worthy with massive professional vases of floral arrangements dotted at key points on expensive furniture around the edges of the room.I find it odd that Alexi is being treate
“I can’t do this, Lexi.” My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I’m aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I’ve never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we’re having a cosy family brunch at Mummy’s house.Ugh. Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him