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2021-08-20 18:49:03‘All it takes is one jerk to take that gun from me, in a fight or a fumble because I hesitate, or he’s just quicker and turns it back to become my end instead of my protection. I would rather not tip the balance of outcomes by carrying something that could be used on me, Alexi. It’s not me. I don’t want to walk around always aware of that thing under my dress, always worried that I might have need of it because it’s there. I know how my brain works, and if you make me walk around with it, I’m going to be a nervous wreck, always fixating on the fact it’s there. Let’s be honest, in your world, danger aimed at me is always going to be male and probably trained a lot better than I will ever be. It won’t be something that keeps me safe. It will make me feel the exact opposite.’ It’s not really the speech I had prepared last night because under that angry scrutiny of grey eyes piercing my skull it’s hard to thin
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 103
Alexi is acting differently, treating me differently. Yet, he is still the same as he always was to everyone else. Seeing glimpses of him like this is seeing glimpses into the person he is around Mico and his family when no one is around to be Mafia King for. The person Mico will openly question and argue with in private. Not the sadistic overbearing arsehole he is in public with him.The club is sparse right now because of the time of day and all the people in here are either non-important tenders or Carrero men on security detail. Carreros he knows well, mostly. Alexi is relaxed and off guard and not keeping up the manner of brooding Boss. He’s blanking me, but yet not bothering to put on any act with me in the room either.This can’t just be about running his club, can it? Watching him joke and laugh with his cousin reminds me of this morning, before I put him in a foul mood. Seeing hints of humour and good vibes I wonder if I have cross
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 104
‘London?’ Alexi’s voice makes me stop dead as I get to the hallway for the lift and my heart drops like a lead weight. He’s followed me, and I turn back, ready to face another yelling match or sadistic prick appearance. I’m just overwhelmed with whatever the hell that was between us back there and he’s clearly in the mood for putting women in their place today and functioning on high sexuality.And he called me London, which is usually not a good sign. I move slowly, inhaling heavily to reel in my chaotic hormones and face him, expecting the worst. He just looks calm, unemotional and unaffected in the way I am, which irritates me.One sided sexual tension then?‘You dropped this.’ He hands me a sheet of paper with my handwriting all over it, a list I have been ticking off as I work, and I sigh. A little relieved that’s all he followed me for, and bring my eyes back to his as I take i
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 105
I slide into the seat of the private jet, quietly laughing at the emblazoned gold ‘C’ logo on absolutely everything in a very amused manner that gets a shrug from Alexi. It’s not his plane but it belongs to his cousin or something, and I get a kick out of the familiar iconic mark everywhere. I have seen it on buildings in the city and on paperwork in the office sometimes. It’s not Alexi’s trademark, but the business tycoons in the family use it to solidify a brand. Carrero is a household name on a lot of high-quality products and services in the States.I move in and slump down into the moulded leather of the best aeroplane seat I have ever sat on in my life, enjoying the feeling of well-designed comfort as my weary bones unfurl. Even though this belongs to family; with his money I’m sure he could afford one of his own and wonder why he doesn’t. He travels enough to warrant it.I don’t understand the dynamics of the Carre
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 106
‘Adorable! Carrero men, we are so weak for them. Ciao Bella.’ She steps back to wiggle down the aisle back to her man and Alexi moves to let her slide in, getting another peck on the cheek as she passes. She pats him lovingly on the shoulder too.I can’t really say I have a right to feel jealous about the obvious affection, I mean she’s not the first ‘family’ member to say that they adore Alexi, and I guess they see something in him to feel that way.It’s just, I do. Insanely crazily, heart pounding in my chest feeling of hurt, watching how he interacts with other women who are not part of his world or games.It’s not that she’s touching him—it’s how he is behaving that slices me irreversibly.Women in his family whom he marked as out of bounds; He treats them with a kindness and respect that he has never shown me or any of the women I see in the club with hi
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 107
‘You don’t like my family?’ He asks seriously, frowning at me, and I can’t tell if he is annoyed by that fact, or just curious. He’s being his usual self and giving nothing away about what he’s feeling or thinking. Sometimes I just wish I had a little tiny inkling of what goes on in his head—just once.‘Your family seem nice and I already knew a couple of them. I’m fine. Just not really in the party mood yet, I take time to warm up,’ I answer calmly, quietly, dodging his intense focus and keep on glancing at passing clouds right by the window.‘You regret coming?’ He presses the matter a little tighter toned.Jesus, he’s like the Spanish Inquisition and I don’t get why he cares so much about this. ‘No, it’s just … nothing.’ I exhale in defeat, body tensing with increasing stress levels. No idea why I feel like I owe him an explanation. I
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 108
‘I wish I could; you have no idea.’ Alexi slumps back into his seat and just stares at the ceiling for a moment, deflated and almost exhausted. His brimming prick has subsided and he seems a hell of a lot less aggressive so quickly. I know it’s an act and I don’t buy anything he says.‘So, it’s my fault now is it? … Some weird pull to make my life an endless misery?’ I laugh sardonically, enraged at such a stupid statement.Fucking prick.Alexi looks across at the people climbing over seats to get closer together and the merry atmosphere and sighs again. His whole demeanour has lost that intimidation and he just seems like he did when we arrived, only not so happy anymore.‘You have no clue, London. Can we stop fighting and just forget this shit until tomorrow? I brought you here to have fun, not a battle, not drama and you upset. I brought you because I am trying to treat you how you d
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 109
‘Well, what would you call us … if not friends?’ His gaze narrows on me, smile fading and something more serious in its place. Still not moving, like a tall stubborn mannequin and I relent with an exasperated sigh, knowing he has no intention of going again until he decides he’s moving. Talking is on his agenda for some stupid reason.‘I don’t know … business acquaintances. People coexisting for a mutual benefit, but certainly not friends! Friends like one another, Alexi!’ I point out scathingly, using my bag to point at him and me as though to emphasise my statement, willing him mentally to just walk forward and get in the damn lift I can hear pinging away about twelve feet from us as they open.‘I like you, so …?’ He shrugs boyishly, expression solemn now and I know he’s just trying to get to me.I know that’s bullshit and now he is trying to just pull me into another little
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 110
‘Don’t you agree, London?’ Alexi’s voice breaks into my thoughts as I slide in beside him in on my return from the bathroom; A small space between him and Alessandra, who is facially glued to Gino as they have themselves a passionate make-out session. Her arse bumps into me as I squeeze against Alexi a little more, sliding my arm in his, so I can lean closer and nestle in against him with my temple on his shoulder. I’m starting to wane with booze consumption and sore feet from way too much dance floor shenanigans. I’m getting tired as the night moves into the early hours. It has to be after 2 a.m. for sure.‘Agree with what?’ I flutter my lashes up at him adoringly from my position and he automatically smooths a hair from across my face as he gazes back down at me. A slight gentle touch that causes a million tingles to erupt from my skin and insides, insides somersaulting and letting loose my cage of butterflies, and I try
Last Updated : 2021-08-20
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 190
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 189
Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
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They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
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“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
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Teeth, tongues, lips, coming together of a rather aggressive game of tonsil tennis as his hands slide up my body and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning quietly with the way he ignites every nerve ending in me. Body tingling and on fire within seconds as I rub myself against the button and rough zip on his trousers, pushing myself into a fevered frenzy of longing.There is no real foreplay, just a sudden need to consummate our passion right here and now and I reach down and unbutton him so he can spring free from the confines of fabric. Alexi feels me out, probing my warmth with his fingers, finding me wet and willing and doesn’t waste time on formalities.He slides into me soon as he leans back over me and presses down on me as he does so, so our bodies fit snugly and muffle my moans of pleasure as they overtake me. Snug as a hand in a glove, he fills me up in the best kind of way, spreading that pulsating, gorgeously good feeling up through my pelvis and i
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These are things people figure out before they marry someone, and here we are, already invested and now I’m thinking about the fact I should have told him this already.Babies! Not a fucking chance in hell. He won’t know, unless he did read all my journals, but even then. I wouldn’t say it was obvious from those diary excerpts that my inability to have kids was permanent or even a blessing. I went over the abortion and such and the after-effects and recovery, but I don’t think I ever spelt it out, in black and white, that my body no longer produces eggs for any chance of fertilisation.How do you tell the man cradling a newborn like he was born to do so if that’s where his hopes lie then it won’t happen with me?How do I tell him that I can’t give him this and wouldn’t want to even if I could? Is this what he wants?The happy 2.4 children, family home a
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It’s not the expected outcome; grown woman turning to childish puppy dog mush, pawing at her angry husband like a devious minx; I find myself eye rolling at the lamest form of female manipulation there is.“You knew? You met her?” Accusatory tone as she tries to regain some footing. Alexi sighs loudly and I glance his way to see him turn and butt himself against the table, throwing me an unreadable look before he downs another drink and I try not to count how many that is. By the look of his sudden lack of trying, I guess he has been prone to scenes like this before, where his father had to steamroll in to defend him, and Alexi mentally goes off on a cruise and leaves him to it. I just stand here like an idiot, a third wheel and in no way wanting to witness this shit.“He’s my son. He has no secrets from me, he never did. Unlike you, he confides in me and comes to me often!” It’s putting her in her place and any other mother mi
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 183
The house is huge and beautiful like some sort of movie set for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. A towering white mansion set in a beautiful green manicured garden like some modern painting. Set in the sunny Hamptons, near the coast in a very picturesque area that comprises of nothing but huge grand houses, that just spew wealth. I can see why the Carreros reign supreme here. It’s like the real housewives of Orange County.Their home a show house for sure, completely devoid of lived in family life and we are let in by a maid who ushers us into a sitting room in what appears to be a deserted house until she runs off to find our host. Marble entranceway not dissimilar to that of Alexi’s nearby abode, huge sweeping staircase in a flawless neutral palette. It’s glossy magazine worthy with massive professional vases of floral arrangements dotted at key points on expensive furniture around the edges of the room.I find it odd that Alexi is being treate
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“I can’t do this, Lexi.” My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I’m aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I’ve never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we’re having a cosy family brunch at Mummy’s house.Ugh. Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him
