‘’Go fuck yourself. You’re a cold bastard and I curse the day you stopped me from being thrown in the river.’’ I turn to storm off, but he catches my wrist and hauls me back, meeting my slapping hands and just deflects them, pulling me close as he silences me with another kiss. Only this time it’s not like the one from before, it’s softer, smoother and more like the kiss from the bar. Wrapping his arms around me as he lifts me up into him and runs a hand around my jaw to pull me closer. It’s almost tender, hitting my craving need for someone to make me feel better and despite myself and my fury, I weaken to him almost instantly. Like it’s a weird power he has and I can’t fight it.
Losing myself and letting go of my hurt, I kiss him back. Faced with less aggression and some tiny need in me wanting this somehow. A pathetic craving for little hints of affection, someone to make me feel like I matter.
I kiss him a
He could at least acknowledge that we work together. There’s chemistry. ‘’Coming here? Don’t you normally take your serious day to day work to your office in the city?’’ I know he has one; he has a whole building apparently and spends the time he’s not here wherever that is. I will let this go and act like I don’t give a shit either. Maybe pretend the sex was mediocre. He clearly must have thought so.‘’This one is a more casual arrangement; People I don’t want to be seen with publicly, make yourself scarce. Don’t come back till after three.’’ Alexi slides his hand into his pocket and pulls out his wallet, sliding out his black plastic and pushing it across the granite surface toward me. I just blink at the credit card and then at him with a questioning expression. He still carries on with his papers and doesn’t look my way.‘’Go pick a new wardrobe. I want you dressin
I leg it around the front of the building onto the open pavement and run straight into the smug bastard, thumping into that hard wall of intimidation and muscle standing waiting on me. I didn’t see him at all. I literally ran straight into his goddamn chest and arms and get lifted right off my feet in an angry swoop that gives me no chance of changing direction. Breathless, panting and sweating from exertion, and he just strolled out the front bloody door catching me blindly. ‘‘Going somewhere London? We have more than one exit you know.’’ He sounds amused rather than angry, but I know that’s not what that is. He’s in devil mode and his amusement masks simmering rage. I try to wriggle and fight him off as he carries me back inside the gloomy club, feet dangling pathetically and no fight in me as I try to recover from my sprint. He barks at everyone w
Untrusting and poised to use my free hand against him if it’s a gameplay. I have known so many forms of mental torture and this could be one of them. ‘’Consider this a warning.’’ He doesn’t sound as self-assured as he normally does and he can’t look me in the eye either. Avoiding my face altogether, even when he gets close enough to unbuckle my waist from the large belt around it. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I hold my breath in the hope that he’s changed his mind and he’s letting me go. Afraid to take this at face value and keep holding still, willing for my heart to stop pounding through my chest.Alexi starts setting my ankles free before my other wrist and frees me faster than he strung me up. There’s nothing in his manner that suggests anything amiss, but I can feel it all around him. The weird vibe and the complete lack of hostility as though it’s evaporated.I slump down
I do my duty silently and give Alexi a wide berth all night. The club is bustling, but I feel completely empty inside as I play the role of smiling hostess. He’s left me be, said nothing when I appeared at seven when the doors opened, after hours of composing myself upstairs.I have been trying to put back on that face of control. He is doing what he does best it seems, acting like nothing is amiss and nothing prior happened to cause any awkwardness. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him to be honest.I caught the staff whispering and throwing glances my way and I wonder if they are looking for my bruises from what they think must have been an inevitable beating. I mean I did piss off our lord and master and defied him so ruthlessly. What they don’t know is that it was so much worse than that. He has the mental edge over me, knows how to break me, and uses that to control me much more effectively than violence. I gave him something he can use next
If I thought feeling safe that night at the opera was weird, then right now, after everything today, it’s even weirder that I feel it when he’s standing beside me protectively. One thing I can never doubt him for—he will never let anyone else fuck with me the way he does. ‘‘You’re no fun Lex! Getting me all hot and bothered over a new little morsel of delicious, the hair really does it for me.’’ Santagato picks up a strand of my hair and twirls it around his finger, tugging it from my scalp and pulling my face towards him slightly. I try to stand my ground, but I have no strength in me tonight, and I know better than to be obviously combative with this type of man. Still leaning in close, Alexi yanks it free in a smooth abrupt motion that brings a halt to playfulness.
I am rather taken aback that he feels like he owes me an apology when he really does seem like a guy who never would. I misbehaved and he punished me. It’s not often men like that ever think they did something wrong, even if I think he did.Although his little surprising statement makes me feel remorse about this morning too, the way I acted and you know? Throwing grilled cheese. I bite on my lip and sigh at him. I guess the sex chat is obsolete and doesn’t seem to be included in his apology, even though it’s what started my little tantrum, and I should just be the adult I pretended to be last night and forget we even had sex at all.‘‘I shouldn’t have thrown your food at you, and I apologise for ruining your clothes.’’ It’s genuine anyway, even if I sound stilted and sarcastic when I say it. Those were nice trousers and I doubt cheese grease comes out of expensive fabrics without a lot of effort. He’s playing
He’s right, even I know how this business uses any tiny thing to get the upper hand. It’s all about control. Damaging someone’s armour and sliding in below it to use to their full advantage. ‘’You don’t care about me, so this is all so stupid,’’ I say it meekly, meaning every word and knowing it’s true as he comes around to face me and lean back in his original place, resting a foot on the chair I am sat in and looks down at me. ‘’I don’t trust you, I don’t like you most of the time, but I care, whether I want to or not.’’ He frowns at me, no hint of the panic I feel right now in his emotionless face, and he’s infuriatingly cool about this whole thing. He gets up and wanders off again, listless or restless where normally he is as still as a sta
‘‘Move.’’ Alexi pushes me forward across the parking lot aggressively, still glaring at me from the argument we had on the jet here, and I am still sulking about being dumped in my idea of Stepford Wife hell.I haven’t slept, I look like death and my entourage of cases is being packed into the cars parked waiting for us by Alexi’s black suits. ‘’Stop pushing me, I am walking in four-inch heels and have a maximum speed setting.’’ I snap at him as I get another prod in my spine. He’s been an arsey one since we got on the plane. Moody for him, not that it’s that blatantly obvious as he has one facial setting even on a good day, but it’s in all the little tones and tiny facial changes, veiled mannerisms and the colour of his eyes that you really see what he’s feeling. You have to look really hard and study his face endlessly, otherwise you would miss it at all.I realise it must be somethin