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2021-08-20 16:22:08I do my duty silently and give Alexi a wide berth all night. The club is bustling, but I feel completely empty inside as I play the role of smiling hostess. He’s left me be, said nothing when I appeared at seven when the doors opened, after hours of composing myself upstairs.
I have been trying to put back on that face of control. He is doing what he does best it seems, acting like nothing is amiss and nothing prior happened to cause any awkwardness. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him to be honest.
I caught the staff whispering and throwing glances my way and I wonder if they are looking for my bruises from what they think must have been an inevitable beating. I mean I did piss off our lord and master and defied him so ruthlessly. What they don’t know is that it was so much worse than that. He has the mental edge over me, knows how to break me, and uses that to control me much more effectively than violence. I gave him something he can use next
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 35
If I thought feeling safe that night at the opera was weird, then right now, after everything today, it’s even weirder that I feel it when he’s standing beside me protectively. One thing I can never doubt him for—he will never let anyone else fuck with me the way he does. ‘‘You’re no fun Lex! Getting me all hot and bothered over a new little morsel of delicious, the hair really does it for me.’’ Santagato picks up a strand of my hair and twirls it around his finger, tugging it from my scalp and pulling my face towards him slightly. I try to stand my ground, but I have no strength in me tonight, and I know better than to be obviously combative with this type of man. Still leaning in close, Alexi yanks it free in a smooth abrupt motion that brings a halt to playfulness.
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 36
I am rather taken aback that he feels like he owes me an apology when he really does seem like a guy who never would. I misbehaved and he punished me. It’s not often men like that ever think they did something wrong, even if I think he did.Although his little surprising statement makes me feel remorse about this morning too, the way I acted and you know? Throwing grilled cheese. I bite on my lip and sigh at him. I guess the sex chat is obsolete and doesn’t seem to be included in his apology, even though it’s what started my little tantrum, and I should just be the adult I pretended to be last night and forget we even had sex at all.‘‘I shouldn’t have thrown your food at you, and I apologise for ruining your clothes.’’ It’s genuine anyway, even if I sound stilted and sarcastic when I say it. Those were nice trousers and I doubt cheese grease comes out of expensive fabrics without a lot of effort. He’s playing
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 37
He’s right, even I know how this business uses any tiny thing to get the upper hand. It’s all about control. Damaging someone’s armour and sliding in below it to use to their full advantage. ‘’You don’t care about me, so this is all so stupid,’’ I say it meekly, meaning every word and knowing it’s true as he comes around to face me and lean back in his original place, resting a foot on the chair I am sat in and looks down at me. ‘’I don’t trust you, I don’t like you most of the time, but I care, whether I want to or not.’’ He frowns at me, no hint of the panic I feel right now in his emotionless face, and he’s infuriatingly cool about this whole thing. He gets up and wanders off again, listless or restless where normally he is as still as a sta
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 38
‘‘Move.’’ Alexi pushes me forward across the parking lot aggressively, still glaring at me from the argument we had on the jet here, and I am still sulking about being dumped in my idea of Stepford Wife hell.I haven’t slept, I look like death and my entourage of cases is being packed into the cars parked waiting for us by Alexi’s black suits. ‘’Stop pushing me, I am walking in four-inch heels and have a maximum speed setting.’’ I snap at him as I get another prod in my spine. He’s been an arsey one since we got on the plane. Moody for him, not that it’s that blatantly obvious as he has one facial setting even on a good day, but it’s in all the little tones and tiny facial changes, veiled mannerisms and the colour of his eyes that you really see what he’s feeling. You have to look really hard and study his face endlessly, otherwise you would miss it at all.I realise it must be somethin
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 39
All the blood drains from my body, so I instantly turn cold and my body erupts in goosebumps. ‘‘Your mother?’’ I blink at him timidly, reminded that with him I should always have a level of fear and never forget my station. I should get it tattooed somewhere obvious as I have this insane ability to forget.‘‘Yes, my mother.’’ No elaboration, just a statement and he closes down, which tells me I am getting no more information at all. He lets me go and I automatically rub my upper arm where his cruel grip has left the ache of bruising and just watch him as he walks around the lounge like a pacing lion. He seems more intent on checking our plush surroundings in good old sunny Rich-Ville than arguing this point anymore, and I am too tired for it anyway.His house is gorgeous. Huge and yet strangely devoid of anything Alexi. It’s not like his apartment over the club that reflects his sinister side and masculinity. This s
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 40
I try my hardest to play it cool through an excruciating dinner with upper class gangsters. It’s obvious that’s what they are, yet everyone is living the fake normal life out here and it’s all behind closed doors. There are smiles and polite conversation about their monotonously boring lives and over-primped wives as they guzzle down overly priced food and act like they like their present company.We are sat in one of this town’s most prestigious restaurants, surrounded by opulent settings and a sparkling chandelier over my head that is practically blinding us with light. A group of porky men with way too much cologne and wives that have had to be tied into their frocks to hold in the overindulgence. A lot of jewellery on display, so much so the dazzle has given me a headache and the men can’t seem to keep their bulging eyes off my cleavage.Seems Alexi isn’t impressed with my choice of outfit and I did dress to just piss him o
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 41
Sliding a possessive arm around my waist, a little tightly and almost frog marches me to the dance floor. He does an up and down look of my dress with obvious disdain and tenses that square jaw of his. ‘‘I hate this fucking dress you look like a hooker.’’ He is all charm tonight isn’t he?‘’Thank you, that’s the look I was going for.’’ I answer smugly as he hauls me into position on the floor and starts dancing me slowly to a very boring piece of classical music, pulling me into his command and almost lifting me off my feet with how tightly I’m held. It’s hardly loving or comfortable and is just an aggressive show of how pissed he is at me.‘’You think I am not tallying all this shit up in my head … for later?’’ He almost growls it with furrowed brows and tone husky as hell as my blood turns to ice in my veins. Heartbeat escalating as weakness waves through me. I thin
Last Updated : 2021-08-20The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 42
‘’Goodnight.’’ I whisper so softly and turn to make an attempt to slide away from him, relieved I am escaping unscathed, and he seems to have forgotten he’s pissed at me, but he catches me by the throat, softly cups it and pins me back to the wall so fast I gasp at the surprise of it.‘’Can’t end a date without a kiss.’’ He smirks at me salaciously, and that’s when I know I’m done for, he knows it too and this was all just meaningless teasing. Prick was playing me all along. He likes my little attempts at turning him down and I hold my breath and will myself to numb this out. Knowing I won’t be able to dodge him.‘’You said it wasn’t a … …’’ Alexi swoops in without warning and locks his mouth to mine. Silencing me and like the stupid weak fool I know I am, I kiss him back. Defeated as my body instantly heats and tingles; that same irrational impulse
Last Updated : 2021-08-20
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 190
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 189
Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 188
They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 187
“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 186
Teeth, tongues, lips, coming together of a rather aggressive game of tonsil tennis as his hands slide up my body and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning quietly with the way he ignites every nerve ending in me. Body tingling and on fire within seconds as I rub myself against the button and rough zip on his trousers, pushing myself into a fevered frenzy of longing.There is no real foreplay, just a sudden need to consummate our passion right here and now and I reach down and unbutton him so he can spring free from the confines of fabric. Alexi feels me out, probing my warmth with his fingers, finding me wet and willing and doesn’t waste time on formalities.He slides into me soon as he leans back over me and presses down on me as he does so, so our bodies fit snugly and muffle my moans of pleasure as they overtake me. Snug as a hand in a glove, he fills me up in the best kind of way, spreading that pulsating, gorgeously good feeling up through my pelvis and i
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 185
These are things people figure out before they marry someone, and here we are, already invested and now I’m thinking about the fact I should have told him this already.Babies! Not a fucking chance in hell. He won’t know, unless he did read all my journals, but even then. I wouldn’t say it was obvious from those diary excerpts that my inability to have kids was permanent or even a blessing. I went over the abortion and such and the after-effects and recovery, but I don’t think I ever spelt it out, in black and white, that my body no longer produces eggs for any chance of fertilisation.How do you tell the man cradling a newborn like he was born to do so if that’s where his hopes lie then it won’t happen with me?How do I tell him that I can’t give him this and wouldn’t want to even if I could? Is this what he wants?The happy 2.4 children, family home a
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 184
It’s not the expected outcome; grown woman turning to childish puppy dog mush, pawing at her angry husband like a devious minx; I find myself eye rolling at the lamest form of female manipulation there is.“You knew? You met her?” Accusatory tone as she tries to regain some footing. Alexi sighs loudly and I glance his way to see him turn and butt himself against the table, throwing me an unreadable look before he downs another drink and I try not to count how many that is. By the look of his sudden lack of trying, I guess he has been prone to scenes like this before, where his father had to steamroll in to defend him, and Alexi mentally goes off on a cruise and leaves him to it. I just stand here like an idiot, a third wheel and in no way wanting to witness this shit.“He’s my son. He has no secrets from me, he never did. Unlike you, he confides in me and comes to me often!” It’s putting her in her place and any other mother mi
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 183
The house is huge and beautiful like some sort of movie set for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. A towering white mansion set in a beautiful green manicured garden like some modern painting. Set in the sunny Hamptons, near the coast in a very picturesque area that comprises of nothing but huge grand houses, that just spew wealth. I can see why the Carreros reign supreme here. It’s like the real housewives of Orange County.Their home a show house for sure, completely devoid of lived in family life and we are let in by a maid who ushers us into a sitting room in what appears to be a deserted house until she runs off to find our host. Marble entranceway not dissimilar to that of Alexi’s nearby abode, huge sweeping staircase in a flawless neutral palette. It’s glossy magazine worthy with massive professional vases of floral arrangements dotted at key points on expensive furniture around the edges of the room.I find it odd that Alexi is being treate
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 182
“I can’t do this, Lexi.” My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I’m aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I’ve never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we’re having a cosy family brunch at Mummy’s house.Ugh. Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him
