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2021-08-21 15:24:53I’m watching the floor half-heartedly, picking my nails and sighing with boredom. There is a weird, eerie quietness to the club tonight, and it hasn’t escaped my attention that several members failed to show for their pre-booked night of fun. There is an aura of seriousness in the air and it’s affecting everyone in here. I’ve even caught Jackson pacing the room and looking around in confusion as to why the atmosphere is so sombre.
It’s given me an anxious knot in my gut all night which has only grown larger by the hour and has me fidgeting uncontrollably. I hate the atmosphere in here and the fact no one seems to be in the merry frame of mind like on a normal night.
It’s not like we have changed anything that would have this kind of negative effect. There is a full strip floor show going on, tenders serving booze and drugs and the girls are working extra hard to get the men going. The men, however, are huddled in little serious group
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 158
“I don’t know. I think it’s best to assume you are not in the clear. From this moment on, you won’t be anywhere I am not if it can be helped. I don’t want you on the club floor until I know what’s going on and why. You are exposed down there, and when it’s dark and crowded, all it takes is one moment with the wrong guy in the shadows. I can’t lose you.”My heart sinks at the thought of being a prisoner in this apartment once more, but what can I do. Spies everywhere and down there I’m too accessible on a busy night. He’s right. Security would need to babysit my every move; all it would take is a minute. A poisoned drink, an injection, or even a blade to the right part of my anatomy. These are the means these people use and they have the courage to go after someone in a club on a busy night. They already tried once.“Santagato, he came to you for help … so it’s definitely not him,
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 159
I’m being ridiculous.“You did.” I smile shyly, knowing he did, can’t deny it really and stare at the desk instead, aware of both of their eyes eating into me now, and once again that overly heavy uneasiness comes over me. I jump when Alexi touches my shoulder to pull my attention to him.“Mico is the one person I trust most in the world, besides you … and sometimes my idiot brother.” He jokes in afterthought. That soft, subtle hint of a smile, his voice husky and affectionate, so much depth and meaning in so few words. The way his pale eyes bore into mine as he says it sets my nerves tingling and heart hammering in my chest in a gooey, lovesick weirdo way that only adds to the blush spreading across my cheekbones.“I’ll give you two some privacy. I need to go check on the men, anyway.” Mico shifts from his perch, hearing the change in Alexi and sensing the heaviness of the moment and gets up. He knows
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 160
Tears blind me as the elevator hits the ground floor and I take a moment to compose myself fully. Using the backs of my hands to stem the tears and blot my face without smearing it more. Trying to use the reflection of the chrome doors to clean myself up and wipe my liner and mascara from under my eyes and hide them mess on the black part of my dress. I have always been good at a quick recovery and manage to bring myself to calm and presentable in mere minutes of deep breaths and gulps. Shaking myself, pushing the pain into a deep dark hole that is turning my body icy and my heart numb. Hysteria drying up as logic boots me in the arse.You should have seen this coming, Camilla. You should have never believed in him.I make my way through the hall, head down to avoid security taking a good look and glad Jackson isn’t milling around here. He has a day off. I slide into the main part of the club which is crowded with staff doing the daily prep for tonight,
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 161
I stand for the longest time in the kitchen area of the lower floor, knowing I’m delaying the inevitable. Alexi upstairs barging around like a crazed panther and looking to take it out on the person who just publicly disobeyed and humiliated him. I can almost visualise him in all his vicious glory. Caged, wild and ferocious while his family try to contain the eruption.We were to be a secret … I have made that impossible now. I feel like I can’t breathe, lungs constricted and wrapped in chains. My body is heavy, running cold with the profound acceptance that this will only end badly for me, and I can’t stop shivering. I’m so jittery. Avoiding him is delaying what I deserve but facing him is a fate worse than death.I need air; I need space; I need solitude. My head is spinning a million miles an hour and the pain from his ‘date’ revelation is numbing out as logic and sense filter through to give me a massive s
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 162
These are not Alexi’s men. These are men who have obviously been watching the club and waiting for an opportunity to arise. I just gave them all of me, with my own stupidity. God knows how long they have been hanging at a distance watching the comings and goings in case they got a chance at picking me off. It’s horrifying to imagine they may have been out here this whole time, waiting for a time like this.I glance at him moving in and the man from the car is now behind me, blocking my path. Aware of both and my senses telling me how far away from actually touching me they are. More aware of the one behind me as it instils a higher fear factor, but my brain calms and the part that works well in a crisis moves in to formulate an exit strategy. Eyes doing a quick scan of every avenue around me. Adrenaline kicking in and I do what I do best. Lift my fucking feet and run like a bat out of hell crazy woman with no desire to die, to my right, down the alley I had come l
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 163
Alexi’s apartment is huge. Walking in the door, ushered by four big burly men I know from the club and all in complete silence. I don’t even take the time to acknowledge them individually or even look up past black heavy coats and wide chests to recognise each one. Just a group of intimidating security in matching outfits and earpieces who escorted me from car door to apartment door.I have no words anyway. Dishevelled, filthy and broken inside as I’m led into a massive open plan penthouse apartment that I would never think of putting Alexi in. A building in Upper Manhattan’s most luxurious area.It’s warmer and homelier than the décor of the club, with
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 164
I like this apartment; it somehow seems like I have been here before even though I have never laid eyes on it. I love the open space and simple furnishings. Nothing overly showy or flashy, nothing fussy. Just enough to feel comfy and relaxed in a way that invites you to come in and lounge your cares away. It’s peaceful and feels like home, even though I’m a stranger within its walls.It’s no surprise I like it though; one thing I found when making the club gorgeous was that Lexi and I have a similar taste in décor, and we gel well in terms of style. We can argue about most things, but we never argued over styling choices.I waste no time in sinking into the hot bath
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 165
“Why do you think I react so badly when you hurt me? Why I run when I think you might do something to make me want to leave you? I’m scared because you can hurt me in ways no one has ever had the ability to do. And you don’t even need to touch me to do it. I act like an idiot because of how I feel about you!”He just stands stock still and stares at me as though I have two heads, or he didn’t quite hear me correctly. Both of us feet apart, motionless and he just continues to lock those eyes on me for what seems like the longest time. Penetrating my skull as that clever brain ticks and turns over whatever he is thinking about. A return to deadpan, calm and still. Temper evaporating away to nothing. He reverts inside his own head and simmers to a deathly silence in the quietness of the room.“Do you?” It’s soft, unsure, and I can almost taste the apprehension and fear in those two little words. The same fear from the
Last Updated : 2021-08-21
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 190
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 189
Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 188
They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 187
“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 186
Teeth, tongues, lips, coming together of a rather aggressive game of tonsil tennis as his hands slide up my body and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning quietly with the way he ignites every nerve ending in me. Body tingling and on fire within seconds as I rub myself against the button and rough zip on his trousers, pushing myself into a fevered frenzy of longing.There is no real foreplay, just a sudden need to consummate our passion right here and now and I reach down and unbutton him so he can spring free from the confines of fabric. Alexi feels me out, probing my warmth with his fingers, finding me wet and willing and doesn’t waste time on formalities.He slides into me soon as he leans back over me and presses down on me as he does so, so our bodies fit snugly and muffle my moans of pleasure as they overtake me. Snug as a hand in a glove, he fills me up in the best kind of way, spreading that pulsating, gorgeously good feeling up through my pelvis and i
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 185
These are things people figure out before they marry someone, and here we are, already invested and now I’m thinking about the fact I should have told him this already.Babies! Not a fucking chance in hell. He won’t know, unless he did read all my journals, but even then. I wouldn’t say it was obvious from those diary excerpts that my inability to have kids was permanent or even a blessing. I went over the abortion and such and the after-effects and recovery, but I don’t think I ever spelt it out, in black and white, that my body no longer produces eggs for any chance of fertilisation.How do you tell the man cradling a newborn like he was born to do so if that’s where his hopes lie then it won’t happen with me?How do I tell him that I can’t give him this and wouldn’t want to even if I could? Is this what he wants?The happy 2.4 children, family home a
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 184
It’s not the expected outcome; grown woman turning to childish puppy dog mush, pawing at her angry husband like a devious minx; I find myself eye rolling at the lamest form of female manipulation there is.“You knew? You met her?” Accusatory tone as she tries to regain some footing. Alexi sighs loudly and I glance his way to see him turn and butt himself against the table, throwing me an unreadable look before he downs another drink and I try not to count how many that is. By the look of his sudden lack of trying, I guess he has been prone to scenes like this before, where his father had to steamroll in to defend him, and Alexi mentally goes off on a cruise and leaves him to it. I just stand here like an idiot, a third wheel and in no way wanting to witness this shit.“He’s my son. He has no secrets from me, he never did. Unlike you, he confides in me and comes to me often!” It’s putting her in her place and any other mother mi
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 183
The house is huge and beautiful like some sort of movie set for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. A towering white mansion set in a beautiful green manicured garden like some modern painting. Set in the sunny Hamptons, near the coast in a very picturesque area that comprises of nothing but huge grand houses, that just spew wealth. I can see why the Carreros reign supreme here. It’s like the real housewives of Orange County.Their home a show house for sure, completely devoid of lived in family life and we are let in by a maid who ushers us into a sitting room in what appears to be a deserted house until she runs off to find our host. Marble entranceway not dissimilar to that of Alexi’s nearby abode, huge sweeping staircase in a flawless neutral palette. It’s glossy magazine worthy with massive professional vases of floral arrangements dotted at key points on expensive furniture around the edges of the room.I find it odd that Alexi is being treate
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 182
“I can’t do this, Lexi.” My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I’m aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I’ve never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we’re having a cosy family brunch at Mummy’s house.Ugh. Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him
