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2021-08-21 15:33:19“Why do you think I react so badly when you hurt me? Why I run when I think you might do something to make me want to leave you? I’m scared because you can hurt me in ways no one has ever had the ability to do. And you don’t even need to touch me to do it. I act like an idiot because of how I feel about you!”
He just stands stock still and stares at me as though I have two heads, or he didn’t quite hear me correctly. Both of us feet apart, motionless and he just continues to lock those eyes on me for what seems like the longest time. Penetrating my skull as that clever brain ticks and turns over whatever he is thinking about. A return to deadpan, calm and still. Temper evaporating away to nothing. He reverts inside his own head and simmers to a deathly silence in the quietness of the room.
“Do you?” It’s soft, unsure, and I can almost taste the apprehension and fear in those two little words. The same fear from the
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I just gaze half amused and raise my brows at him to communicate my deep lack of being impressed. He seems to get the hint and relents with a chuckle and a wink.Alexi lifts himself over me on his strong muscular arms and gazes at me for a long moment, once again stopping the shenanigans and making me even more impatient.“You on top.” It’s more of a suggestion than an outright command, and I frown at him a little before moving to change positions without question. Forgetting the whole tosser thing and just eager to get him inside me.It is a preferred position for me as it makes you feel like a man’s penis is reaching so much further and you get to control what’s being done. Not that I think with him it will be needed, although I’m sure it will be even more mind-blowing in this new position for us.Alexi has never instigated me on top any of the times we had sex and it’s not a coincidence. I was in the game long
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 167
I’m bored out of my mind, amusing myself since Alexi left, by watching Netflix in the main sitting room and sprawling out in my new domain. All on my lonesome with the lights on low, the glowing fireplace creating a beautiful ambience in front of me and the sweeping lights of night-time New York to my right. It's semi-dark, peaceful in a cosy and homely sort of way and I’m utterly relaxed in my surroundings. The couches are deep, comfy and large so I’m laid out like Cleopatra and enjoying the size of his massive TV in full HD and an endless list of channels. This place was made for relaxing and I adore it.For a guy who doesn’t do much of it, he certainly kitted this place out as though he intended to. I wonder if now we are a thing, he will make an effort to spend more time here and try to sit down occasionally and do ‘couple’ things, like watching a movie. He did it the night Feral died and it gives me hope that maybe he might acclimatise
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 168
I jump, awakening in a dark silent room as the weight on my legs shifts heavily and emits a long low growl. It makes my heart stop, skin prickling all over, suddenly frightfully aware as I get my bearings and remember where I am and what the hell is lying on me. Pulse quickening as I groggily come to, a cold sweep of blood due to the abrupt manner I awoke in the eerie room, lacking any TV noises. The illumination of the city view is subtler than I would have expected and not casting a great deal of light at all.His low grumble puts an instant fear of me God in me and I try to focus on him towering over me by pushing myself to half propped up and stare at the beast.I must have fallen asleep with that movie and the TV has gone into standby and switched off. It’s dark as hell, and it dawns on me as I look around to figure out what’s happening the shades must be activated by light or a timer as they have all come down two-thirds of the way, so this room is al
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 169
“I think she has a personal vendetta against me; the man I shot at thirteen was the man she was supposed to marry. It doesn’t matter that everyone was slaughtered anyway. She has her eye on you to serve up a specific cold message to me. That’s why they’ve been watching the club. You are number one of her top five. Send me a message and wound me the deepest. It’s why she hasn’t given up on you after a failed attempt. This is because of what I did.”Alexi trails off with that serious tone and swirls his drink again. My insides all gripping together in a horrible heavy coldness as it sinks in and I literally swallow my saliva noisily as bile rises in my throat. Shuddering with the awful reality of this shitty insane world and the players who treat lives like disposable commodities.“So, they will come again? Her men will keep coming after me until I’m dead?” It’s shrill, high pitched and drenched in f
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 170
Vegas is hotter than hell, you could fry a breakfast on the tarmac here and even though we only walked into the hotel minutes ago I’m already sweating and gasping for air like I just ran a marathon. I have never been to this city and I’m already wondering how people can live here. The airport was busy and hazy with heat rising from the ground upon arrival that looked like mysterious, magical dimension aberrations, and I feel like I have literally been turning to a puddle in my clothes since we stepped off the plane. It’s stifling.Alexi is looking suave in a short-sleeved white shirt, beige chinos and shoes while I’m dripping makeup down my face into my sweater and jeans. I thought it might be a comfortable travelling outfit. It now explains the strange look when I said I was putting a woollen sweater on for the journey. Tosser could have told me it’s three thousand degrees the second you walk off the plane.Mr Tan never seems to feel the
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 171
I’m groggy and sleep muddled when I pad through to the main sitting area of our living room in a loose summer dress I changed into, rubbing my eyes and yawning like I didn’t just have myself the longest siesta. Blurry eyed, cooler due to efficient AC and generally in a happier mood now I have slept. I wander towards the long leather L shaped couch where Alexi is sitting to slide down beside him and curl up next to that sexy body of his.He’s on his laptop with his phone propped to his ear, leaning forward to the coffee table and has a brown file of papers open to his right. He’s working so I just lie down beside him and push my feet against his thigh to have some contact. I must have slept for a couple of hours at least as the lunchtime sun that was up when we got here is now lower in the sky which suggests late afternoon. I twirl my hair and watch him, feeling wholly content, sighing with just how quickly the resentment and scars from how he was towar
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 172
Alexi pulls out my chair as we seat ourselves at the dinner table at eight, standing beside it so as not to cage me from behind. Always aware of that little fact. Always making me love him all the more.We are in the grand burgundy and gold dining room of the classy hotel, alone so far as we are first here, and he slides his hand down the open back of my silver sequin gown as he moves beside me to sit down. Trailing fingertips down to where the dress closes over my bum and runs gentle featherlight touches across the naked skin before pulling away. Igniting every nerve ending I possess.Tingles erupt across my skin and I blush at the memories of rolling about upstairs with him. Body still warm and glowing from the recent climax he gave me; I lean into him to deliver a kiss on that delicious mouth. Alexi cups my jaw lightly and kisses me properly, making me forget where we are, as he teases my lips apart seductively and gently caresses my mouth with his. Ju
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 173
He would never let them insult me or hurt me. That safety and security I get from him is an instant balm as the warmth of his body flows through at our point of contact and calms me instantly.Alexi doesn’t visibly react to my moving to him, but his foot slides towards me and he rests his knee against mine as a subtle message that he feels my unease. It’s a small tiny movement but I understand its intention, and I’m immediately soothed with knowing he’s as in tune to me as I am to him nowadays. He’s reassuring me that he’ll always fight my corner.“I can’t help that I had a natural aptitude where you didn’t. Some of us are more capable of handling things. Now shut up and focus on why I’m here. I’m losing patience and you don’t want me pissed … younger cousin I may be, but I won’t hesitate to remind you who the fucking boss is.”Alexi doesn’t waste time in acting it e
Last Updated : 2021-08-21
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 190
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 189
Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 188
They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 187
“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 186
Teeth, tongues, lips, coming together of a rather aggressive game of tonsil tennis as his hands slide up my body and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning quietly with the way he ignites every nerve ending in me. Body tingling and on fire within seconds as I rub myself against the button and rough zip on his trousers, pushing myself into a fevered frenzy of longing.There is no real foreplay, just a sudden need to consummate our passion right here and now and I reach down and unbutton him so he can spring free from the confines of fabric. Alexi feels me out, probing my warmth with his fingers, finding me wet and willing and doesn’t waste time on formalities.He slides into me soon as he leans back over me and presses down on me as he does so, so our bodies fit snugly and muffle my moans of pleasure as they overtake me. Snug as a hand in a glove, he fills me up in the best kind of way, spreading that pulsating, gorgeously good feeling up through my pelvis and i
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These are things people figure out before they marry someone, and here we are, already invested and now I’m thinking about the fact I should have told him this already.Babies! Not a fucking chance in hell. He won’t know, unless he did read all my journals, but even then. I wouldn’t say it was obvious from those diary excerpts that my inability to have kids was permanent or even a blessing. I went over the abortion and such and the after-effects and recovery, but I don’t think I ever spelt it out, in black and white, that my body no longer produces eggs for any chance of fertilisation.How do you tell the man cradling a newborn like he was born to do so if that’s where his hopes lie then it won’t happen with me?How do I tell him that I can’t give him this and wouldn’t want to even if I could? Is this what he wants?The happy 2.4 children, family home a
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It’s not the expected outcome; grown woman turning to childish puppy dog mush, pawing at her angry husband like a devious minx; I find myself eye rolling at the lamest form of female manipulation there is.“You knew? You met her?” Accusatory tone as she tries to regain some footing. Alexi sighs loudly and I glance his way to see him turn and butt himself against the table, throwing me an unreadable look before he downs another drink and I try not to count how many that is. By the look of his sudden lack of trying, I guess he has been prone to scenes like this before, where his father had to steamroll in to defend him, and Alexi mentally goes off on a cruise and leaves him to it. I just stand here like an idiot, a third wheel and in no way wanting to witness this shit.“He’s my son. He has no secrets from me, he never did. Unlike you, he confides in me and comes to me often!” It’s putting her in her place and any other mother mi
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The house is huge and beautiful like some sort of movie set for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. A towering white mansion set in a beautiful green manicured garden like some modern painting. Set in the sunny Hamptons, near the coast in a very picturesque area that comprises of nothing but huge grand houses, that just spew wealth. I can see why the Carreros reign supreme here. It’s like the real housewives of Orange County.Their home a show house for sure, completely devoid of lived in family life and we are let in by a maid who ushers us into a sitting room in what appears to be a deserted house until she runs off to find our host. Marble entranceway not dissimilar to that of Alexi’s nearby abode, huge sweeping staircase in a flawless neutral palette. It’s glossy magazine worthy with massive professional vases of floral arrangements dotted at key points on expensive furniture around the edges of the room.I find it odd that Alexi is being treate
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“I can’t do this, Lexi.” My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I’m aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I’ve never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we’re having a cosy family brunch at Mummy’s house.Ugh. Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him
